


I'm in Love Without You

by bluesxrgent



Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, Pining, Reunions, Slow Burn, post qoaad, post queen of air and darkness, qoaad spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2019-09-19 20:50:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 87,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17008965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluesxrgent/pseuds/bluesxrgent
Summary: Kit and Ty haven't seen each other in three years with Kit in Devon with Jem and Tessa and Ty studying at the Scholomance. So much can change in that time, and yet so much can stay the same. When Kit is called to the LA Institute by the Consul he worries that his past mistakes have caught up to him, but the real reason behind the visit is somehow much more daunting.TW: panic attacks, depression, anxietyThis started as a fluffy kit/ty reunion fic and now there's multiple chapters and angst because apparently I love pain





	1. Life Moves On

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [Enamorado sin ti](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17677481) by [Annie_Carstairs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie_Carstairs/pseuds/Annie_Carstairs)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kit has to go back to LA but he isn't quite sure if he's ready for it. Luckily for him, Tessa always knows just what to say to make him feel better.

Returning to the Los Angeles institute would have been a lot less daunting if Kit hadn’t been obsessing over the reason he hadn’t been there in three years. He’d known deep in his heart that he would have to come back here, no matter how much he wanted to avoid it, but the prospect was downright terrifying. Yet, however much he told himself he didn’t ever want to go back there, he knew it was a lie. He wanted to go back more than anything, wanted to see the Blackthorns again, wanted to see Ty again. 

Ty. 

How long was it going to be until he was over Tiberius Blackthorn? 

Over the past three years Kit had dedicated his whole life to training to be the best Shadowhunter possible, Jem and Tessa helping where they could. He and Tessa had been working tirelessly to discover the extent of the powers granted to him by his faerie lineage, but they’d had no luck. In three years he still hadn’t been able to replicate whatever he had done that day in Idris. 

Aside from his failures in that area of his training, he had taken to being a Shadowhunter quite well. Even the different classifications of demons and histories were understandable to him, interesting even. Jem had told him countless times that he saw so much of Will, Jem’s former  _ parabatai _ , in him. Kit always argued that couldn’t be possible, as they hailed from different branches of the Herondale family, but he always secretly felt a surge of pride when Jem compared him to Will. 

Speaking of Will… a different Will had wandered into his bedroom, disrupting his thoughts of training and Herondales and Blackthorns. Well, one Blackthorn in particular. Nothing seemed to be able to take his mind off his troubles better than Will Carstairs. One of the things he’d envied most about the Blackthorns was the closeness of their family and how he would never have anything like that. Sure he’d had his own personal ups and downs over the past three years, but he had gained a family, a little brother, and that meant everything to him. 

“What’s up Willie?” Kit asked with a smile, knowing that Will likely wouldn’t answer him. The toddler often walked into his bedroom without warning, sometimes mumbling incoherently, sometimes moving his things around and leaving without even acknowledging Kit. 

Today, however, Will turned his head towards Kit as he spoke, making his way over to where Kit was sitting on his bed on slow, tiny legs. Kit reached down to pick up the boy, who he had come to think of as a brother, despite the fact that Will was actually his great-great-great-something uncle or cousin or whatever. He’d never bothered to figure out how Will was related to most of the Shadowhunters he knew, it just gave him a headache.

“You’re scared,” Will said simply, small hands still clinging to Kit’s shoulders. Kit removed his brother’s hands and looked at him with a bemused face. “Oh yeah?” he laughed, wiggling his fingers in front of him, “What am I scared of? The demons under my bed?” 

He made exaggerated hand gestures as he reached over to tickle Will until the boy was laughing hysterically in a way that only toddlers could. 

“No!” Will said, still giggling, “Mommy says you’re scared. I don’t know why. Don’t be scared.”

Kit groaned. Of course Tessa had picked up on his nerves regarding the upcoming visit to Los Angeles. “Willie, I’m not scared. Nothing’s too scary for Kit Herondale!” he exclaimed in an unnecessarily grandiose voice that made Will dissolve into giggles once more. 

If only those words were true. Plenty of things were too scary for Kit Herondale, and seeing Ty again was quite close to the top of the list. 

Lost in his thoughts once more, Kit didn’t even notice as Will slipped away, clearly bored and ready to move on to the next exciting thing, which probably involved playing with Church. Kit didn’t even notice as the hours slipped by, his feet up against the wall and head hanging slightly off the edge of his bed. 

It got dark too soon for his liking, because dark meant night, and night meant that he had less than twelve hours before he would be portaling to Los Angeles. Why did he even need to go to Los Angeles again? Jem and Tessa had surely told him, but in his constant fretting over Ty, he had forgotten. Could it have something to do with what happened all those years ago with two stupid boys, one stupid with grief and one stupid with love, making things happen that defied all morality and common sense? Kit gulped, nerves overtaking him once more. 

The past three years had been full of extreme highs and lows, most of his lows being brought on by thoughts of the boy he had been at fifteen and the things he had done and the mistakes he had made. Sometimes it all became too much for him. There were points where he would have done anything to escape the constant voices in his head screaming  _ there’snothingifyouaren’thereiwishidneverknownyouiloveyoutyiloveyoutyiloveyouty  _ over and over again. Tessa and Jem always helped him feel better when he let them, but he’d had to deal with things by himself for so long that he felt ridiculous asking them for help, no matter how often they had told him they were always there if he needed anything. 

Sometimes they couldn’t give him what he needed. Sometimes what he needed was to be held by a pair of strong, but delicate arms, be it on the roof of the London institute or on a beach in LA at night, or anywhere in between. He hadn’t realized at the time how much those hugs had grounded him as well, made him feel less alone in the world. Sure, Tessa, Jem, and even Will hugged him often, but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t the feeling of sharing a secret with the one person he’d trusted more than any other, the one person he felt as if he’d been put on this earth to love. If only there were an iratze to heal this wound. 

A knock sounded on his door and he titled his head back further to see Tessa standing in his doorway. Quickly, he righted himself and sat with his hands folded together in his lap. They were shaking slightly, and he didn’t want her to see. She sat beside him and clasped his hands in her own. Clearly he wasn’t as discreet as he thought. He’d never told Jem and Tessa why he had decided to leave LA without saying goodbye, and they had never prodded him to open up about it past his level of comfort, but he was sure they had an inkling of his reasons by now. 

“I know you’re scared, no matter what Will tells me,” Tessa said with a soft smile, “I need you to know that it’s ok to be scared.”

He met her gaze cautiously. She continued, “I may not know the extent to which this anxiety came from, and I can’t promise things will be easy, but just know that you will get through this. Every obstacle in life seems insurmountable until we cross them, but I promise you that one day you’ll look back on this visit as something small, no matter how big it seems now.”

“You don’t know that. This could be the worst thing I ever do,” Kit said before he could stop himself. His throat was burning in a way that was usually accompanied by tears so he ceased talking before Tessa could notice the slight waver in his voice. She released his hands, bringing one of hers up to cup his face gently. It was such a motherly gesture that he melted into it, despite the fact that he was eighteen years old and she looked to be only about five years older than him. He closed his eyes tightly as tears began to slip down his cheeks at last.

“I can’t do it,” he whispered into her hand, letting the tears fall rather than wipe them away, “I can’t do it Tessa.”

“You can, Christopher.” Tessa and Jem only called him Christopher when they were serious or angry, which admittedly wasn’t as often as they probably should have been. “You can do anything. I’ve seen all you can do. If you can defeat demons, memorize languages, and be a brother to Will, you can see the Blackthorns again. They were the first family you found after your father died, after all. No matter how that relationship has stalled, they still see you as family, I’m certain of it.”

Kit lifted his head. Somehow he had ended up curled up against Tessa, her hand smoothing his hair in a comforting manner. “How can you be certain?”

She smiled down at him. “Because you still see them as family,” she said simply, “If you didn’t it wouldn’t be this hard.”

His tears had stopped coming, the remnants dried upon his face, but his throat still burned. He couldn’t bring himself to ask the question he had been wondering for days, the one that kept him up at night. Fortunately or unfortunately for him, Tessa read it in his eyes. 

“I don’t know,” she sighed, “I do not know whether Tiberius will be there when you arrive or not. After all, he has been busy at the Scholomance.”

That news had been a shock when Kit had first heard Magnus mention it in passing on one of his visits. Last he had heard Ty had wanted nothing to do with the Scholomance.  _ Did he go because of me? _ Kit couldn’t help but wonder, but he had never gotten his questions answered. The only thing that had saved Kit from a complete breakdown since he had learned of his need to visit LA was the fact that Ty might not even be there. 

“He will arrive eventually, though,” Tessa continued, and he stiffened before he could stop himself. She sat him up gently and placed her hands on his shoulders. “You do remember why you’re going to Los Angeles, right?”

“Well, you see…” he began, cut off by a laugh from Tessa. 

“Oh, Kit. The Consul has requested you, Tiberius, Drusilla, and Jaime Rosales for a particular mission. I don’t know any more than that, but Tiberius will certainly be there if the Consul requested it.”

“So… it has nothing to do with Livvy?” he asked slowly, as if this might make the question less suspicious. Tessa’s brow furrowed. “Livvy? Why would it have anything to do with Livvy? That was over three years ago, Kit.”

“I know, it’s just the last time I saw any of them is all, so I assumed it had something to do with her.” He knew it was a weak explanation, but luckily Tessa took it without questioning him. She glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed, “It’s getting late, you should get some rest. You have an early morning tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” he said noncommittally. Tessa stood and kissed the top of his head before making her way back over to the door. She turned around before walking out. “And Kit?”

He raised his eyes to meet hers. “Yeah?”

“You are one of the bravest people I have known, and I have known a lot of brave people. You will get through this and come out stronger. It is another thing I am certain of.” 

She left him there, staring after her, head still clouded with thoughts, but eyes dry and throat no longer burning. He could do this. No matter the pain it would bring him to see Ty again, he would get through it and come out stronger, just as Tessa had said. 

He laid his head down on his pillow and closed his eyes. Sometimes pain was necessary to heal, so he would face this head on.  _ You are one of the bravest people I have known _ . Hopefully that would prove to be true.


	2. Still Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kit arrives back at the LA Institute and reunites with many old friends with the exception of one. He knows Ty will be there eventually, but doesn't know how he's going to handle it when Ty arrives.

As he stepped through the portal the following morning, Kit’s heart filled itself with dread once more. What did Tessa know anyway? She was over a hundred years old, of course something like this would seem simple to her. 

His breath left him almost immediately as he crossed over to the Los Angeles institute. At first he thought that it was a side effect of the portal, but he soon realized it was the crushing weight of being hugged so tightly he was sure his ribs would collapse. 

“Dru?” he asked looking down at the figure still attached to him. He hadn’t seen her in three years either, and she looked just as he remembered, but more mature and still probably looked older than him. She had always looked much older than she was. “I thought you’d hate me,” he said, more to himself than anything. They had become friends in the midst of everything that had happened, but he hadn’t said goodbye to her either. 

Finally she released him. “Oh I do,” she said, anger and joy warring in her eyes, “That was a dick move, not saying goodbye and not talking to any of us for three years. That doesn’t mean I can’t be happy to see you.”

He smiled. He’d forgotten how much he liked Dru. “Fair enough. Anything I can do to win back your forgiveness?”

“You could start by teaching me more mundane tricks you picked up from your dad,” she suggested matter-of-factly, “You know, crimey stuff.” 

“Oh, I am the king of crimey stuff Drusilla Blackthorn, you don’t know the can of worms you just opened,” he boasted, grinning widely. What had he been worried about? This was going great. Dru laughed along with him, wrapping him in another hug, one that he was prepared to return. 

“What’s up with you being all buff now, too? And tall. I thought you hated all the tall, buff, hot Shadowhunters,” she teased as they made their way to the kitchen, where everyone else would likely be waiting for them. He frowned down at her and realized that for all she had grown, he had too. Not as much as he would have liked to, but enough that he had a good six inches on her. 

“I am  _ so _ not buff,” he argued, mostly because it was true. Sure, he’d gotten more muscular with all of his training, but he was nowhere near Jace or even Julian. Dru considered him carefully. “Ok, fine, you’re not  _ buff  _ buff, but you’re like skinny buff, you know?”

“I do not.”  
“Well, whatever. Jules, Emma, Mark, Cristina, and Tavvy will all verify my proclamation. Helen hasn’t known you long enough to know the difference, so she’ll side with you because she wants to be your friend. Speaking of Helen, did you hear that her and Aline adopted a baby? An orphaned Shadowhunter, just like Rafe, Alec and Magnus’s second kid. They’ve been talking about adopting a faerie child too,” Dru rambled as Kit’s eyes roved over the familiar architecture. 

“Julian, Emma, Mark, and Cristina are here too?” Kit asked. He had figured Emma and Julian would be at the Institute, but Mark and Cristina were usually off either with Kieran or with the Downworlder-Shadowhunter Alliance. Dru smiled. “Of course! Did you really think they were going to let you come back here and not chew you out for leaving without saying goodbye? That and they missed you too.”

They reached the kitchen as Dru finished speaking and Kit was punched in the gut with memories of sitting here with Ty and Livvy, and then with just Ty. This was where Ty had given him his first rune. Without thinking about it Kit had begun to run his hand over the patch of skin on his forearm where that rune had been placed. Noticing this, he dropped his hands quickly and turned his attention to all the people sitting and standing around the counter. 

“Kit!” Emma exclaimed. She got up out of her seat and gave him a quick hug. He and Emma had talked a bit over the last three years, but they hadn’t seen each other. He owed her a lot, and she him. Besides, what was a Herondale without a Carstairs? 

He was surprised to see that he had a good four or so inches on her now too. Emma had always seemed so tall, so old, and here she was, head resting just below his nose. Tavvy gave him a hug next. 

“I thought you died,” Tavvy said solemnly, and Dru smacked her brother gently in retaliation. 

“Tavs!” she hissed. Tavvy shrugged, searching Kit’s face before answering. “You were gone, and no one told me what happened. Then Ty left and he was sad all the time, so I thought you died.”

“I am very much alive,” Kit assured him with a fake confidence that didn’t match how he felt on the inside.  _ Ty left and he was sad all the time _ . Why had Ty been sad? The last Kit had seen him he had been laughing with Livvy’s ghost. He’d had everything he needed. 

Julian waved to him from where he stood making pancakes. The two of them had never been close, but Kit had a lot of respect for everything Julian had done over the years for his family, and was glad that he had found happiness and peace with Emma. Cristina and Mark were holding hands passively, almost as if they didn’t realize they were doing it. Cristina broke into a grin and waved with her free hand. 

“It’s good to see you Kit!” 

“You too, Cristina,” he smiled. Mark stood up and walked over to where Kit stood, cocking his head. Even after three years he still retained a slightly wild look as if he wasn’t totally of this world. Well, he wasn’t, exactly. 

“You’re taller,” Mark said. The two of them were almost exactly the same height now, able to look one another in the eyes with ease. Kit nodded, “So I’ve been told.”

“You are quite handsome,” Mark said seriously, and Kit felt heat rise to his cheeks. Emma, still standing at Kit’s side, flicked Mark in the head. 

“Ouch!” Mark exclaimed. “What was that for?”

“Don’t embarrass Kit or he’ll leave again,” Emma hissed, and Kit could tell she was mostly joking, but part of what she’d said left a pang in his chest. Was that how he would always be remembered by them? The boy who left, who may not have actually died, but was dead to them in a sense. As if she could sense his discomfort, Dru cut in, “Doesn’t he look buff? Not like Jace buff, but buffer than before, right?”

Emma quickly agreed, Cristina and Julian following suit. Mark agreed with a wink that had Emma flicking him and Kit blushing once more. Helen tilted her head in a way that mimicked Mark’s earlier consideration of Kit. “Agreed,” she said with a sly smile. 

“Ha!” Dru laughed. “I even got Helen on my side!”

“All right,” Kit conceded, “You win. I’m a buff Shadowhunter.”

They all laughed, causing the pain in Kit’s chest to lessen once more, if only slightly. This should have been his warning, but somehow he let himself be carried away with this feeling of comfort and let his guard down slightly. It was because of this that he didn’t think twice about the sound of footsteps coming down the hall.

“What are you all laughing about?” 

The world stilled as Kit processed the words and the voice that spoke them. His heart began beating more rapidly than ever. He willed the cage he had just let down to reseal itself over his heart, but as he turned to the sound of the voice, he knew his efforts were fruitless. 

Because Ty Blackthorn was standing in the entrance to the kitchen, looking more beautiful than ever. 

Ty got a much warmer welcome than Kit, which was to be expected. After all, Ty hadn’t left them all for years without so much as a word. Not that Kit’s welcome hadn’t been warm, it had been much warmer than he had expected, actually. 

Everyone had rushed over to give Ty hugs and ask him about the Scholomance as if they all didn’t still talk every day. Kit was left alone in the middle of the kitchen feeling as if his knees were going to give out. He hadn’t looked away from Ty, which would have been weird if Ty had noticed, but the other boy hadn’t even looked at him once. 

But Kit couldn’t stop looking. 

If Kit had gotten taller it was nothing compared to Ty. Ty was easily almost a head taller than Kit was, something that made Kit’s stomach flip in a way that it hadn’t in many years. Ty’s dark hair had grown out a little since Kit had last seen it, curling wildly around his ears and on the back of his neck. He still retained his delicacy while looking stronger than Kit remembered. His stature reminded Kit of Mark, all that grace and ethereality hiding strong muscles. Was it weird for his heart to race at the sight of Ty’s chiseled jawline? That was weird, right? Ty looked like he had been carved from stone, like a Greek god immortalized in stone. 

Suddenly Kit couldn’t bear to be in the room. He had to leave before Ty noticed him. Luckily, the kitchen had many exits, so he slipped out before anyone could notice, Julian’s forgotten pancakes burning on the stove. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the support on this so far! I'm having a lot of fun writing it and I'm sorry in advance for all the angst oops...


	3. Panic Attacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kit thought he was ready to see Ty again, but the pulsing in his chest is telling him otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for this chapter specifically: Panic attacks
> 
> This chapter is fairly short but it's my favorite that I've written so far :,)

Kit wasn’t sure how his feet carried him to the room that had once been his home, didn’t feel anything other than the pounding in his heart. No one called after him as he left, or even noticed that he was gone, which was probably for the best. He didn’t want anyone to find him like this. 

His whole body was numb and his head was spinning in a way that distorted his vision. He couldn’t see where he was going anymore but he didn’t care, as long as he was far away from the boy he had been avoiding for three years. His breathing was coming in short, difficult bursts. Each breath felt like running a marathon. 

It had been a while since this had happened to him, the last time being when they’d had an unexpected visitor from the Scholomance and Kit had been sure it would be Ty, but instead it was Divya, who he recognized from when the Centurions had stayed at the LA Institute, coming to talk to Tessa about something warlock related. Jem had found him then, holding him and helping him steady his breathing until his vision had cleared and he no longer felt as if he was going to die. Jem had never asked about what had happened, or why, and Kit was grateful for that. He had done nothing other than hold Kit, rubbing circles on his back until he had come back to himself. 

Kit collapsed against the wall, at least, he hoped it was a wall. His vision was spotting so bad that he couldn’t see where he was, just assumed it was his room. The unsteadiness in his brain made his entire skull feel like it was shaking, breaking, falling apart. 

There was no Jem or Tessa here to help him now. There was no one at all. 

No one.

No one.

Nothing.

Noth i n g a t a l l

N

O

T

H

I

N

G

He was

A

L

O

N

E

 

All of a sudden there was a light pressure on his back. He opened his eyes, not realizing how tightly he had them shut until that moment. He could feel his face again, less numb than it had been a moment prior, wet with tears he hadn’t remembered shedding. Where was he again? Right, the LA Institute. His surroundings were clearer now and he saw he was most definitely not in his old bedroom. He felt his knees hit his chin and realized that he had been curled into the fetal position on the floor of a room that was not his own. There was still a steady pressure on his back and he turned around to see a pair of wide gray eyes boring into his for a moment before they looked away feverishly.    

The last time he had seen eyes like those… 

“Is this helping?” Ty asked quietly. Kit came to his senses and realized Ty was rubbing slow circles on his back, just as Kit had done for Ty the beach long ago, and just as Jem had done for Kit more recently. Without meaning to, he flinched away and got to his feet hastily, bracing himself against the wall when his vision blackened once more, blinking until the room was in focus. 

Ty, who was still crouched near the ground, stood up stiffly and hesitantly, fingers dancing at his sides. At least some things hadn’t changed. Kit could feel the beginnings of a smile forming on his face and stopped himself before Ty could notice. 

“Why are you in my room?” Ty asked hesitantly. Kit’s head snapped up, immediately canvassing his surroundings. It was Ty’s room after all. How had he not noticed? Why had his feet carried him here?  _ Because this is the place you felt the safest _ , a voice in his head whispered. He ignored that voice as best as he could. 

“I… got lost,” Kit explained. He couldn’t very well say that he hadn’t even known where he was going, desperate to get away from the sight of Ty, all grown up and beautiful as ever. He continued, “It’s been a while.”

“Yes, but the layout of the Institute is still the same,” Ty responded, confusion evident in his voice. Unable to continue to breath in the same air as Ty without curling back down to the floor as he just was, Kit moved past Ty into the hallway.

He turned around to find Ty’s gaze still on him, slight crease in his brows. “I’m sorry,” Kit said, “It won’t happen again. I remember where my room is now.”

Kit hurried down the hall, willing his unsteady feet to carry him to the correct room this time, when Ty’s voice spoke in its unique melody down to him. “Are you still mad at me?”

Kit halted in place, pivoting on the spot. Though they were several feet apart Ty’s eyes bored into Kit’s with an intensity he couldn’t escape. Ty took a hesitant step forward before seeming to think better of it and retreating. 

“I could never be mad at you,” Kit said in a hoarse whisper, words slipping out before he could process them. Ty’s eyebrows shot up and he opened his mouth as if he meant to respond, but Kit turned away and rushed the rest of the way down the hall and into his room before he could hear what Ty had to say. 

Shutting the door behind him gently, he sank against it and put his head in his hands. He’d told Tessa he couldn’t do this. He’d  _ told _ her. The Consul wasn’t even coming until tomorrow. How was he supposed to fake smiles and let everyone believe that he was the same Kit they had known three years ago until then? 

He sat like that for a while, feeling more grounded than before but still not entirely ok. He didn’t feel as alone, which was funny considering his self imposed isolation. It wasn’t until he heard a subtle scratch against his door as if someone had shifted on the opposite side that he realized he wasn’t actually alone. He knew full well who was on the other side of that door, but he didn’t dare open it. 

Sure, Kit hadn’t reached out to Ty in three years, but Ty hadn’t tried either. As far as he knew, Ty had never even noticed or cared that he was gone. He had just jaunted off to the Scholomance with Livvy’s ghost in tow. Kit was happy for him, he really was. He was happy that Ty hadn’t been damaged as he had, broken in places he had no idea how to fix. That was all he’d ever wanted, was for Ty to be happy. He just hadn’t ever considered that Ty would be happy without  _ him _ . Maybe that was selfish, but he couldn’t help it. 

After all this time worrying about Ty’s happiness and well being, maybe it was time to worry about his own. If Ty could move on, he could too. Whatever this mission Alec had for them would likely be quick, more busy work than anything, probably produced to make them feel important and essential. It would be over soon and Kit would be able to go home, ready to live his life once again, but for real this time. 

No matter the pain it was causing him, he realized he had needed to see Ty, to get that closure and know that he was really all right before moving on. This was why, even though he was certain Ty had his back against the door at the same place Kit’s was, he stood up and crossed the room, sitting on his bed. The door had been there to support him, sure, but there were plenty of things that could support him until he was able to support himself, and this bed seemed like a good place to start. 


	4. Haunting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kit gets a visit from someone he hasn't seen in a long time and (secretly) hoped he would never have to face again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so grateful for all the love I've gotten on this!! I'm really excited to continue and I hope you all enjoy!

Kit got through the rest of the day without a hitch, a feat that he felt he deserved some type of prize for. Ty hadn’t spoken to him again and hadn’t been outside his door when Kit had finally exited his room. Maybe he had just imagined it before, maybe Ty had never been there at all. Thankfully, everyone took his excuse that he had left to take a nap without batting an eye. He was a little jet lagged (did you call it that if you had portaled somewhere?) anyway. It was still a difficult day to get through, but by the time he went to bed that night Kit felt as if the knot in his chest had loosened, ever so slightly, but enough that he could breathe again.

That was, until the next morning when he woke up earlier than usual and left to use the bathroom only to find Ty curled up asleep in front of his door. Careful not to wake the boy, he tiptoed around him with the Shadowhunter grace he had spent years perfecting. He was thankful he had put on jeans and a t shirt before leaving the room, because now he wouldn’t have to come back should Ty wake up. He told himself that Ty was only there because of what he had witnessed the day before with Kit’s breaking down on the floor of his room. He was likely only waiting out there to make sure Kit stayed in his own room that night. 

Julian was in the kitchen already, which didn’t surprise Kit at all. He assumed Emma and the rest of the current inhabitants of the Institute were still asleep. Julian raised his head as Kit walked in smiling in greeting. 

“You’re up early,” Julian said teasingly, “I seem to remember not being able to wake you before noon when you lived here.”

“Things change,” Kit said passively, noting Julian’s features tense slightly. What reason would there be for Julian to be mad at him? Surely Ty wouldn’t have said anything about Livvy or Livvy’s ghost to Julian? In an instant the look was gone and Julian’s expression softened again. “That they do,” he agreed. 

Kit wasn’t quite sure how to make small talk with Julian. He hadn’t realized that up until now most of their one on one conversations had revolved around Ty. Julian seemed to be struggling with the same thing. 

“So,” Julian began, “How has your training been going?”

Shadowhunting. Right. That was their common ground.

“It’s been going good, great actually,” Kit admitted, feeling more comfortable now that they had approached a steady topic. “Jem and Tessa are great teachers.”

“I’m sure. They’ve seen more of both the Shadowhunter world and Downworld than anyone probably ever has. Although, I can’t complain. Diana was as good of a tutor as we could have asked for, and Emma was reason enough to not slack in fight training.” Julian laughed fondly at the mention of his former  _ parabatai _ . Admittedly, Kit hadn’t known much about  _ parabatai _ when the Blackthorns had first taken him in and had just assumed Julian and Emma were dating until he had made a passing comment about it and Livvy had looked at him weirdly before explaining the laws about  _ parabatai _ . 

“How is Diana, by the way? Does she still tutor Dru and Tavvy?” Kit asked. 

“Yeah, sometimes. She doesn’t come around as often anymore and Aline has picked up the tutoring for the most part. She and Gwyn are still improving faerie-Shadowhunter relations together. They’re doing a really good job, actually, but I shouldn’t be surprised. Diana will always beat the odds.”

Kit nodded. He’d always liked Diana a lot, even if she was a bit strict at times. Before he could stop himself, Kit asked quietly, “Did you ever try not to love Emma? When she was your _parabatai_?”

Julian looked up at him with a slightly shocked expression, which was justified as the question had seemingly come from nowhere. When Kit had lived at the Institute Julian and Emma hadn’t been able to date, obviously, and even though it was even more obvious that they were now, he supposed enough time had passed that it probably wasn’t a big topic of conversation anymore. 

“Every day,” Julian answered honestly. His expression became guarded and he looked more like the Julian Kit had known previously. Was that what Kit looked like now? Trying to pretend he hadn’t been in love with Ty for the past three years?

Julian continued, “I only stopped hiding my feelings when I knew she felt the same way about me. Of course, we had our fair share of troubles after that, but after that initial moment that I told her I loved her I crossed a barrier that I couldn’t come back from, even when I desperately wanted to.”

Kit’s stomach sank like he had just ridden a roller coaster. If only he wouldn’t have told Ty he loved him, maybe then it would have been easier to get over. Now he wasn’t sure if he would ever get over it. He’d never thought he and Julian would have a common ground such as this to relate to one another on, but it was equally relieving and stressful to hear his feelings validated in such a way. Not that he would ever tell Julian how deeply he related to his words.

“Why?” Julian smiled, his face lighting up once more. “Got some girl back in Devon?” 

Kit laughed, loud and harsh, causing Julian to blink and step back in surprise. “Sorry,” Kit backtracked, “It’s just… no. I don’t… yeah. Sorry. Just making conversation.”

Julian nodded hesitantly. “Right.”

Thankfully, Kit was saved from answering by the telltale sound of a portal opening in the foyer. Both he and Julian rushed over just in case it was Alec and Magnus. But no, it was just Jaime Rosales, looking more like Perfect Diego than he had since Kit had last seen him. Kit wondered if Cristina or Emma would comment on it. 

As if his thoughts had summoned them, Cristina and Emma were making their way down the stairs as Jaime righted himself from the jolt of portal travel. Cristina was the first to notice their new guest and took the rest of the stairs in a run. 

“Jaime! It has been far too long!” she exclaimed, pulling him into a tight hug. Jaime hugged her back enthusiastically, saying something in Spanish back to her that Kit wasn’t even going to try to translate. After all, the extent of his Spanish was limited to about two years in mundane grade school. Emma sidled up beside Kit and whispered, “Is it just me or does he--”

“Look just like Perfect Diego?” Kit finished. “Yeah, but don’t tell him, I’m not sure he’ll appreciate the comparison.”

Emma nodded solemnly and gave Kit a mock salute before going to greet Jaime herself. Emma and Jaime’s hellos were cut short when Jaime’s gaze locked on someone over Kit’s shoulder and his face warmed even more, which shouldn’t have been possible. Kit turned around to see Dru had come downstairs and was looking at Jaime with the same brightness and warmth. Clearly the two of them had continued to be friends since everything had happened. Not that Dru hadn’t given Kit a wonderful greeting, but he couldn’t help but wonder if she would have worn a warmer smile if he had said goodbye to her or even bothered to get in touch with her in the past few years. How different things might have been.

“Long time no see, Rosales,” Dru said, pulling Jaime into a hug. He laughed once they released each other. “Didn’t we facetime just last night, Blackthorn?”

Kit was too busy looking on their reunion with a sense of nostalgia he couldn’t trace the root to that he almost didn’t notice a cold breeze by his left shoulder. A feeling came over him as if he had been doused in cold water and he shuddered slightly before turning toward the source of the feeling and losing his breath for a moment. 

Livvy.

He had wondered when she would show up, knew it was inevitable. Still, seeing her floating beside him, in a pale white dress not looking a day older than she had three years ago, his heart stopped briefly. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed her as well. Not that he should even have had the chance to talk to her. She beckoned him to follow her and he trailed her path idly, as if in a haze. If anyone noticed he had walked away, hopefully they wouldn’t follow him.

Once they were alone she smiled sadly. “Hello Kit.”   


“Hi Livvy.”

“It’s been a long time. I almost thought I’d never see you again.”

“Not to be rude, but I was kind of hoping the same,” he admitted. He had hoped Ty would have been able to let Livvy be at peace by now, but maybe it couldn’t be done. Her face changed and he realized how his words must have sounded. “Uh, not that I’m not happy to see you it's just, you know, it shouldn’t be possible,” he finished awkwardly. 

She laughed, a sound that was more hollow than it had been when she was alive, but still a melody his ears had missed. “I knew what you meant Kit. I always knew what you meant.”

Kit met her eyes for the first time, not even realizing he had been avoiding them. What was that supposed to mean? “So, how have you been?” he asked awkwardly, knowing how stupid of a question that was.

She laughed again. “Dead.”

“That’s not funny.”

“Not to you, maybe.”

“Are you still mad about what we did?” Kit asked nervously. She looked at him with an emotion in her eyes that reminded him of Tessa. She sighed, “I was never mad. I would have done anything for Ty-Ty. Anything to make him stop hurting. I was very worried at first. If he never had to learn to grieve me, how would he be able to handle any sort of pain? Fortunately or unfortunately, whichever way you look at it, he didn’t need to lose me to learn how to cope with grief of losing someone he was so close to.”

Kit’s heart spiked immediately in alarm. “Did something happen to Mark, or Julian, or Dru, or Tavvy? Helen or Aline? One of his friends at the Scholomance?”

Ty had already lost his mother, father, and twin sister, he should not have to deal with any more pain than that. Sure, Livvy was still around in a way, but she would never be his twin sister again, and that must have held some pain for Ty. He hadn’t even considered the fact that, as Ty got older, Livvy would stay fifteen forever. 

Livvy looked at him as if she wasn’t sure if he was being serious. He stared back at her in confusion. “What? Did something happen to any of them?”

“No, Kit. Do you really not know what I’m talking about?”

“Um… no. Should I?” 

She sighed once more. “It’s better if you figure it out on your own. I must admit, I’d hoped you would be less dense after three years, but some things never change.”

“Hey!” he cried. “I’m not dense!”

“Could have fooled me,” she laughed, raising her eyebrows. 

Despite the fact that she was dead, despite the fact that she shouldn’t even be here talking to him, despite the fact that they hadn’t spoken in years due to the aforementioned deadness and Kit’s abrupt departure from the Blackthorn family, he laughed with her. Livvy had always been a source of comfort, probably for more people than just him, and it felt so good to talk to her no matter how wrong the circumstances were. He felt terrible that he couldn’t extend his ability to see ghosts to the other Blackthorns so they could see their sister one more time. 

Livvy’s head snapped up as if she were listening to something. “I should go, I believe Magnus and Alec just arrived. They’ll be expecting you shortly I presume.”

“Will I see you again?” Kit asked.

“Well, that depends,” she said sternly. 

“Depends on what?” 

“On you. You always know where to find me, know who I’m tied to. It’s not my fault we haven’t seen one another in a long time.”

He had wondered if she would bring this up. “I know,” he replied, “I don’t know how long I’ll be here, but I promise you I’ll see you again, even if it’s not for another three years.”

Her face was stone now though, a small trace of anger glimmering in her still luminescent Blackthorn eyes. “I’m not sure how much I should trust you or your promises.”

He felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him. He didn’t know how to respond to Livvy’s accusation, mostly because it was true and he didn’t want to deal with that. Before he had a chance to, though, she had disappeared.

Kit was alone, as he always was, with the pain in his chest that he had come to accept would never go away. The pain that he had tied to the hole in his heart of his own making, the one he couldn’t figure out how to repair. 

“Kit?” a voice called from the other room. “The Consul wishes to speak to you in the library!” 

Swallowing his pain, he stood up with a false confidence that only a Herondale could. Livvy’s words were still running through his thoughts, so he made a new promise to himself. He wouldn’t leave until Livvy had forgiven him, which shouldn’t be too hard. All he had to do was tell her the truth: that Ty hadn’t wanted him around anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on tumblr if you want I shitpost about kit and ty far too often: @ livvyblxckthxrn


	5. Love It If We Made It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kit discovers the real reason he was called to the LA Institute.

Ty, Dru, and Jaime were already in the library when Kit arrived and he had the sudden feeling of one of those dreams where you show up to school in your underwear. Feeling heat rise to his cheeks, he took up a place beside Jaime, intentionally avoiding Ty, who was on the other side. As if he could ever really ignore Ty. 

Alec gave him a warm smile as he walked in, not commenting on his lateness. He had never known Alec well, but it was still weird to think of him as the Consul. Jace had visited Kit a fair amount of times over the past few years, sometimes accompanied by Alec, who was always kind and casual with Kit. He was pretty sure that wasn’t normal Consul behavior, but then again nothing was normal about the Clave anymore. 

“Thank you all for coming here on such short notice,” Alec began, looking slightly uncomfortable himself. Kit briefly wondered if there had ever been a Consul this young before. Tessa and Jem spoke often of Charlotte Fairchild, the head of their Institute in London when they were around his age. She became the Consul eventually, but he didn’t know how old she was at the time. They had also told him about the time Benedict Lightwood had turned into a demon worm, which was kind of funny but unfortunate because now he couldn’t look at Alec without thinking “Lightworm”. 

Alec continued, “Aside from the problems within our own part of the shadow world, relations between downworlders and Shadowhunters really are better than they have been in a long time, mostly thanks to the work being done by the Shadowhunters and downworlders in the alliance, such as Mark and Cristina.”

Dru beamed on the other side of Jaime. It was obvious how proud she was of her siblings, but from what Kit had heard she had become a force to be reckoned with herself. He wondered if now that she was older people were starting to give her the recognition she deserved. 

“There is, however, a relatively new issue that has come up. It came to the attention of the Unseelie King that the Seelie Queen appeared to be hiding some Shadowhunters in her courts, but upon further inspection one of them turned out to be none other than Ash Morgenstern, last believed to be in the parallel dimension called Thule. We don’t know who his companion is or how they got here, which is where you all come in.”

Kit blinked in surprise. Were they actually going to be doing something of importance for the Clave? He was excited but hesitant. Last he had been told, he should stay away from faeries at all costs, lest they discover his heritage. He snuck a quick glance at the others to see how they had taken Alec’s proclamation. Jaime looked as surprised as Kit felt and kept flicking his eyes in Dru’s direction as if trying to gauge her reaction before deciding how he felt about it. Dru was smirking in the way that only Dru could. Of course she would have no reason to have any reservations and this would likely be a great sort of adventure for her, whatever it was that Alec wanted them to do. Before he could stop himself, Kit’s eyes rested on Ty and saw that Ty was looking straight forward, no indication that he was surprised or taken aback in any way. Maybe as a Centurion they had told him about all this beforehand. Ty was wearing his headphones around his neck as well, a sight that was so familiar to Kit it made his heart pang with longing. A light motion caught Kit’s eye and he noticed Ty’s hands fluttering slightly by his sides, his only tell. 

Alec cleared his throat and Kit drew his gaze from Ty’s hands quickly, face reddening as he realized all of them were looking at him, Dru with raised eyebrows, Jaime with concern, Alec with a knowing smirk, and Ty with no clear emotion evident in his face aside from the fact that he intentionally made eye contact with Kit. His hands had ceased their movements. 

“So, as I was saying,” Alec continued, drawing everyone’s gazes back to him, “We need the four of you to go on a mission to faerie to gather information for both the Shadowhunters and the Unseelie Court. They have been barred from contact with the Seelie Court since they discovered Ash Morgenstern was hiding there, so we can’t afford to send any faeries. We have no reason to believe there is anything nefarious going on, perhaps the Queen is just trying to keep her son safe, but the more we know about the situation the better. Particularly, who the other Shadowhunter hiding in the court is. Any questions?”

Jaime raised his hand as if he were in a lesson. Alec nodded at him. “You don’t need to raise your hand, you can just ask.”

“Right.” Jaime cleared his throat. “Not to sound ungrateful, because I am more happy than you know to have the opportunity to do something useful for the Clave, but why us?”

Kit had been wondering the same thing, but hadn’t wanted to be the one to bring it up. Angel forbid Alec come to his senses and ban him from the mission. 

“Well, Tiberius is a Centurion, so this is the sort of thing that he likely does often, just maybe not quite to this extent, Drusilla is proving to be one of the best Shadowhunters of her age, the next Jace Herondale perhaps?” Alec flashed a quick grin at the mention of his  _ parabatai _ . Dru wrinkled her nose and said, “No offense to Jace, but I’d rather be the next Emma Carstairs.”

Kit and Jaime both smiled at that. Kit wouldn’t have minded being the next Emma Carstairs either. Dru continued, “Leave being the next great Herondale to Kit. I mean, haven’t you seen how buff he is?”

Kit shot her a glare, despite the compliment. Ty started coughing beside her, hands fluttering once more, this time more rapidly. Not realizing what he was doing, Kit had begun to reach over to grasp Ty’s hands to comfort him but had been impeded by Jaime standing next to him. Jaime stumbled a bit as Kit’s hand smacked into him. “Yes?” Jaime asked.

“Oh, sorry, I was just… stretching,” Kit mumbled feebly, trying to return his attention to Alec as he picked up his train of thought. 

“All right, the next Emma Carstairs it is,” Alec agreed, smiling, “Jaime is a Rosales and likely the only person who has just enough of a tie to faerie that should you all run into trouble he’ll be able to get you out of it. ”

“I appreciate that you think that, but Cristina and Diego are the important Rosales,” Jaime said a bit gloomily. 

“I’m not asking Cristina or Diego to go on this mission though, am I? I need you for this, Jaime. Plus you and Drusilla have proved to work well together in the past and I predict you will continue to do so. There’s also the fact that you’re the only one that Cristina would willingly allow to use her heirloom that allows the passage of time to flow normally in faerie. And Kit has unique talents that may be able to help this quest considerably,” Alec finished, almost as an afterthought. 

Kit gulped. Alec didn’t think he would be able to use whatever faerie magic he had, did he? Had Tessa told Alec that Kit was actually adept at using these abilities? Ty spoke for the first time since they had begun meeting with Alec. “What abilities?”

Alec looked at Kit as if he were asking permission and Kit widened his eyes feverishly in response. Sure he would probably have to tell people about his faerie lineage eventually, but he didn’t want Dru, Jaime, and Ty to think they could rely on him in that way of things went awry. Alec, however, ignored Kit’s silent plea. 

“Kit is a descendent of the First Heir, a child of the Unseelie King and the Seelie Queen. Well, the previous Unseelie King now.”  
Dru and Ty looked at him in stunned silence. Jaime didn’t seem too ruffled by the news or seem to care too much, which Kit actually appreciated. 

“So,” Dru began, “Does that mean Ash is his great great something step grandpa or uncle or something?”

“I’m not entirely sure, but they are related in some way. It’s all a bit confusing for me if I’m being completely candid with you all,” Alec admitted. Kit hadn’t even considered that he and Ash were related, however distantly. He had thought nothing could surprise him anymore, but apparently that was just another thing he could add to his list of things he had been wrong about. 

“But what abilities?” Ty repeated. It was a valid question. Ty was likely only asking to know the full strengths and weaknesses of his team, Kit supposed. It seemed like the sort of thing Centurions were trained to do. 

“Kit has demonstrated some sort of faerie magic, though admittedly we do not know the source or the extent. Maybe you could explain more about it, Kit?” Alec goaded. Kit ran his hand over the back of his neck, eyes darting as he tried to find a way to explain his way out of this. 

“Just… don’t put too much faith in my ‘faerie magic’,” he said, “I don’t know how it works or how to control it. Maybe I used it all up on the Riders in Idris. I don’t know. Put it this way: if we run into a situation where we’re in need of faerie magic, there is a ninety-nine percent possibility I will not be able to help in any way, shape, or form.”

He met Alec’s eyes. “If you want to replace me with someone else or remove me from the mission, I completely understand. I don’t know if you were counting on my magic, but if you were it might be better to have someone competent.”

Alec shook his head. “You are competent, Kit. You’re a Herondale, and Herondales never back down from a challenge. Believe me, I know one well enough to know that having a Herondale on a mission is always necessary, with or without faerie magic. But if you want to remove yourself from the mission, I’ll allow you to do so.”

“No.” Kit had opened his mouth to say the same thing, but the word had come from someone else. 

“The Consul is right. Kit has many skills and I won’t do the mission without him,” Ty continued, gaze flitting about the room, never remaining in one place too long. A heavy silence filled the room as everyone looked at Ty in shock. 

“Me too,” Dru responded after a beat, nudging Jaime. 

“Me as well,” Jaime agreed, lowering his voice to a whisper, “You didn’t have to nudge me, I would have backed you up.”

“Kit?” Alec asked, looking incredulously at each of them in turn. Kit was still wondering where Ty’s outburst had come from and why he wanted him on the mission. Knowing Ty, he probably had faith in Kit’s faerie magic, even though Kit had stated it couldn’t be used. 

“Of course I’m coming,” Kit said with more confidence than he felt. In fact, he felt as if his legs might give out at any moment. Ignoring this he smirked, “You really think I would let Dru claim the title of next Emma Carstairs without a fight? I’ve been dying to show off my kickassery. I’ve got some pure Emma energy flowing through my buff Shadowhunter veins.”

Dru laughed and leaned over to give him a high five. Alec told them that he would give them more information about when they would leave and where they would go the following morning before leaving the four of them in the library to contemplate the entire exchange. Ty met his eyes for a brief moment and suddenly Kit wasn’t worried about making it in and out of faerie alive, but making it through a single conversation with Ty, which they were bound to have. Maybe he should have backed out when he had the chance. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support so far! Follow me on tumblr if ya want: @ livvyblxckthxrn


	6. Melancholia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ANGST! ANGST! ANGST!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my heart says "let kit and ty be happy" but then my brain goes "bring them pain" so I'm sorry

As soon as Alec left the room Dru and Jaime had begun speaking to one another wildly about the adventure they were going to have and what weapons to bring and how much fun they were going to have. Ty was still silent, but he hadn’t moved an inch or given any indication he was going to leave the room. Kit was sure he looked similarly frozen, only half listening to Jaime and Dru. 

“KIT.” 

Dru waved her hand in front of his face and he stepped back, blinking a few times. “Wh-what?” he stuttered, blushing for what felt like the millionth time that day. 

“Jaime and I are going to the training room to pick out weapons, want to come?”

Kit glanced at Ty and saw that Ty was glancing right back at him. Averting his eyes quickly he said, “Sure. Weapons are always a good time.”

“Can we talk before you do so?” Ty asked hesitantly. Dru frowned at him before answering, “Sure thing Ty-Ty. What is it?” 

Ty furrowed his brows and pulled his gaze away from the bookshelf it had been fixed on to look at his sister. “What?”

She raised her eyebrows and motioned for him to continue. Ty’s hands began fluttering again as his cheeks got slightly pink near the top. 

“Oh! I-- sorry. I meant Kit. I wanted to talk to Kit,” Ty stammered, showing the shy side Kit remembered rather than the confident Centurion that had seemingly taken his place. Dru got close to Ty and lowered her voice to a whisper, clearly not intending for Kit to hear her. 

“Are you sure, Ty? I don’t want you to be upset before the mission.”

“I’ll be fine, Dru. I promise.” Ty clasped his sister’s hand and gave her a reassuring smile, looking her in the eyes. It was perhaps because of this silent show of strength that she sighed and left the room without argument, pulling a confused Jaime behind her. Kit wasn’t so sure he wanted to have a conversation with Ty alone but he supposed it was better to get that first conversation out of the way before they got to faerie. 

Ty was staring adamantly at the bookshelves again, which Kit knew was a sign of his discomfort. Kit ran through his earlier conversation with Livvy in his head trying to glean what this conversation might be about. Was it possible Ty was mad at him for leaving without a goodbye as Dru was? He had worried a lot about that when he first left, but after seeing Ty’s happiness at Magnus and Alec’s wedding he had been equally relieved and heartbroken to see Ty really hadn’t cared all that much. 

“I’m glad you’re here,” Ty said seriously, “I thought I would never see you again.”

“Me too,” Kit admitted honestly. This elicited a subtle intake of breath from Ty as he turned his head sharply to face Kit. His face was soft and open, every emotion he had would have been easily readable on his face if Kit hadn’t forgotten the language. Now that they were closer Kit could also see that he had overestimated their height gap. Ty was still really tall, but was only taller than Kit by a little over half his head. They would both have to tilt their heads to look one another in the eye, but Kit’s head would fit right in the crook of Ty’s neck. 

Woah. Where had that thought come from? Kit averted his eyes, hoping he hadn’t started blushing too wildly. 

“You’re still mad at me,” Ty said, less of a question than a statement. 

“What? No. I told you yesterday, I was never mad at you. What would I be mad at you for?” 

He wasn’t lying. He had never had the ability to be mad at Ty. Ty had left him heartbroken, which was a completely different feeling. Not that he was going to admit that, it would be too embarrassing. “Are you mad at me?” Kit tested cautiously. 

“Not mad, just confused,” Ty admitted, “If I didn’t make you mad, why didn’t you say goodbye? Why did you leave me in the first place?”

“I don’t make a habit of sticking around places I’m not wanted.”

In an instant the openness that had marked Ty’s features closed up, turning back to the statuesque visage it had been minutes before. “You’re the one who said you wished you’d never known me.”

The words hit Kit like a punch in the gut. He remembered and regretted saying them with every breath he took, but he hadn’t expected Ty to remember. There had been so much that had gone on that day that he was sure Ty would have glazed over that interaction in his memories of that day, if he even chose to think of it at all. 

“Ty,” Kit’s voice broke at the word. Ty clearly noticed, his eyes had opened up once more, letting Kit see into their depths as he maintained eye contact for longer than Kit knew he was comfortable with. 

“Ty,” Kit repeated, more steadily this time, “I didn’t mean it. I’ve said a lot of things in my life that I’ve regretted, but that’s the only one I think about every day.”

Ty’s eyebrows shot up and Kit feared he had said too much. He prayed that bringing up these old memories wouldn’t remind Ty of something else Kit had said, something that he still felt no matter how hard he tried not to.  _ I love you Ty, I love you _ . 

“So… why didn’t you say goodbye?” Ty asked again, oblivious to Kit’s inner anguish.

“I didn’t think anyone would care,” Kit shrugged, trying to make his answer sound nonchalant. “Don’t worry, Dru has already informed me that she’ll be mad at me about it until I teach her crimey things.”  
“Crimey things?”

“Eh… yeah. Forget I said that. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for not saying goodbye,” Kit said shyly, trying to gauge Ty’s reaction. He used to be able to feel Ty’s emotions as if they were his own, but now he felt like he was talking to a stranger. He suggested, “We could start over? Pretend the past never happened, like we’re meeting for the first time right now.”

Ty said nothing, but brought his eyes back to Kit’s, which Kit took as a go ahead to continue. Stepping forward, closer to Ty than he had been in a long time, Kit held out his hand. 

“Hi. I’m Kit Herondale. Nice to meet you.” He smiled hesitantly, but Ty did not take his hand. 

“No,” Ty said. He shook his head and turned away from Kit, leaving Kit feeling like an idiot. Still, he did not retract his hand. 

“No,” Ty repeated, “I don’t want to start over with you. I don’t want to pretend we don’t know each other. I don’t want to pretend I didn’t do something so awful it made you hate me for three years. I don’t know what I did, and Livvy won’t tell me, but I’ll figure it out. I don’t want you to hate me anymore, Kit, but I don’t want to pretend there isn’t a reason why either.”

Kit opened his mouth but couldn’t find the words he needed to respond. He still hadn’t moved his hand from where it was frozen out in front of him. Before he had the chance to do or say anything, Ty brushed past him and exited the library, turning at the last second to say, “And by the way, if we were really meeting for the first time, you would have introduced yourself as Kit Rook.”

He stormed away after that, but not quickly enough that Kit couldn’t see the too fast rise and fall of Ty’s chest as he left. Kit was alone once more, toiling in Ty’s words. He had to try to decide what to do next. Should he follow Ty? Part of him wanted to go and make sure Ty knew that no matter what happened or what had happened in the past, he would never hate Ty. Never ever. 

Yet the other part of Kit, the cowardly part, told him to stay where he stood, letting Ty go once more. He sank to his knees in the middle of the library, feeling tears run down his face. He didn’t know exactly when they had started but knew they weren’t going away anytime soon.  

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Little did Kit know that just around the corner another boy had done the same. On the opposite side of the door, Ty sank down to his knees, clutching his too quickly beating heart, and let his tears fall in a steady, solitary motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr @ livvyblxckthxrn


	7. I Don't Wanna Be You Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We've got some good Kit and Dru bonding because they're the brotp we deserve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: panic attacks, mention of depression

When Kit finally made his way up to the training room he stopped in front of nearly every clear surface or mirror he could find to make sure there were no traces of his tears. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed since he had broken down in the library and hoped he wouldn’t be too late to pick out weapons with Dru and Jaime. Bonding with them before the mission was essential if he wanted to avoid feeling like a fourth wheel. In theory, four wheels were what made a car work, but one flat tire could throw off the whole rhythm. 

Thankfully, when he walked in Dru and Jaime were still there, laughing together near the wall of swords, daggers, seraph blades, and anything else that might be of use in a fight. Dru had looked up upon hearing him enter and cleared her throat, composing herself. 

“Kit! We thought you’d never show up. Didn’t Ty want to come with you?” she asked suspiciously, looking around him as if he might be hiding Ty behind his back. 

“No, he had other things to do. Contacting the Scholomance about the mission probably,” Kit lied, feeling Dru’s gaze sharpen on him. It was clear she still didn’t completely trust him, which would be a problem if they were supposed to have each other’s backs in faerie. He  _ had _ just lied to her, so he could understand where she was coming from, even if he didn’t like it. 

“I can go ask him to join us,” he continued, trying to prove to her that whatever was going on with him and Ty wasn’t going to be a problem. Finally, she looked away. “That’s ok. I’m sure he has his weapons picked out already anyway. He’s always on top of those things.”

“I know,” Kit said before he could stop himself. 

Dru raised her eyebrows. “I was telling Jaime.”

But she wasn’t, and they both knew it. Jaime, on the other hand was looking back and forth between the two of them in what Kit could only describe as utter confusion. 

“For the record,” Jaime interjected, oblivious to the light air of tension in the room, “I knew that as well. I probably know Ty better than Kit does anyway.”

It was a throwaway comment, but it hit Kit like a ton of bricks. He could tell that Dru saw exactly what he was feeling in that moment, could tell that she could see how hard it was for him to not double over like Jaime had actually punched him in the stomach. The worst part was that it was probably true. No matter how close Kit and Ty had been three years ago, they had known each other for a few months. Jaime had known Ty and the Blackthorns for three years and, given how close he was with Dru, was probably closer to the rest of the family than Kit had ever been. Kit realized that, in a sense, Jaime had taken his place, for he was now the one talking about Ty’s habits nonchalantly, as Kit might have done under different circumstances. 

“Oh, shit! Jaime, I forgot to tell you, Alec told me to tell you to go barter with Cristina over the use of her necklace!” Dru said, snapping Kit out of his haze. Jaime looked away from Kit slowly and Kit realized he must have let his emotions be displayed a bit too prominently on his face.

“All right, do you want to come with?” Jaime asked, but Dru shook her head. 

“I should help Kit pick his weapons, we have a different selection than he’s probably used to.”

“Ok,” Jaime conceded hesitantly, backing out of the room with a nod over his shoulder at the two of them. Once they could no longer hear his footsteps in the hall, Kit collapsed onto the training mat, breaths coming in ragged gasps. Dru rushed to his side immediately. 

“Hey, Kit, Kit, it’s all right. Breathe, Kit, breathe.”

He followed her voice, breathing in when she told him to and breathing out when she told him to. They sat like this until his pulse had lowered back to normal and he could measure his breathing without assistance. 

“I didn’t realize you had panic attacks too,” Dru observed. Kit shot her a glance. Panic attacks? That couldn’t be right. Granted, since he had become a Shadowhunter his knowledge of mundane illnesses and treatments had been neglected, but he still knew that panic attacks existed, and he was pretty sure he’d never had one. 

“I don’t have panic attacks,” he said, but Dru just gave him an amused look. 

“I do my research, you know. Ever since Ty’s been at the Scholomance and Livvy’s… you know… I’ve had the computer all to myself. It’s been really helpful too, in teaching me how to help the members of my family with their problems. Especially Ty. I think he might be autistic. I read about it online.”

Kit nodded. He had always known Ty was on the autism spectrum, but hadn’t brought it up since his initial conversation with Julian since it had seemed Shadowhunters were either unwilling or unable to comprehend things outside their own world. Maybe both. 

“Well, anyway,” Dru continued, “He gets panic attacks too, as I’m sure you know, so I know the signs and how to help people through them.”

Was that what had happened the day before, when he had collapsed in Ty’s bedroom? It seemed glaringly obvious to him now, even though he had never previously considered the possibility. 

“Did Ty tell you?” Kit asked, wondering if she had known to send Jaime away because she was aware of what had happened the day before. 

She frowned. “No. Ty knows you have panic attacks?”

“Um,” he began, reddening, “Kind of? I’m not sure he knew it was a panic attack. I didn’t know until now, to be fair.”

“Oh. I guess I just didn’t realize you’d had them when you were still living here.”

“What? Oh, no, I didn’t. I, uh, think I had one yesterday.” He coughed to cover up the awkwardness he felt in talking about this. He wasn’t used to voluntarily sharing his problems with anyone except Will, and that was only because he was a toddler and therefore unable to fully comprehend Kit’s problems. 

“You  _ what _ ?”

“Yeah, when I said I took a nap.”

“So that’s why Ty disappeared for hours? He was with you?”

“No. Well, yes, partially. He found me in his room, which I guess I hadn’t realized was his room. I wasn’t really seeing straight. Once he found me I went to my room, but that was minutes later, not hours,” he told her. He didn’t tell her that he suspected Ty had sat outside his bedroom door, partially because he still didn’t believe it. 

“Oh, Kit,” she sighed, “You really don’t know, do you?”

“Know what?”

“You have to figure it out yourself, otherwise you won’t understand.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that to me?” he ranted angrily. “First Livvy and now you--”

He cut off abruptly, realizing his mistake. Dru didn’t know about Livvy. No one knew about Livvy. He hoped she didn’t hear him, but her instantly alert eyes said differently. 

“You talked to her?” 

It was the last question he had been expecting, and she said it in such a heartbroken voice that he wondered if Ty had told the family about what they had done.

“...No?” he tried and Dru responded by hitting him on the shoulder. “Ok fine, yes. I talked to Livvy this morning. How do you know about Livvy?”

“I overheard Magnus talking to Ty about it when it first happened,” she explained, “How was she? What was she like? What did she say? Did she ask about me?”

Kit coughed uncomfortably. It was reasonable for Dru to have all these questions, but he didn’t know how to answer them. He didn’t want to make her upset. “She was mad at me for leaving. She told me that Ty had been through some sort of pain and grief, but wouldn’t tell me what had happened. Then she called me dense.”

Dru sighed dramatically, “You are  _ so _ dense, Herondale. Livvy told you all this and you still haven’t figured it out?”

Kit answered with limp hand gestures. Dru rolled her eyes. “You are  _ hopeless _ , Kit. I pray some faerie knocks some sense into you on our mission.”

“This would be a lot easier if someone would just tell me what I’m being dense about,” Kit reasoned.

“But where’s the fun in that? Besides, Livvy’s right. If you don’t know, you’re never going to understand until you figure it out yourself.”

Kit groaned, leaning his head on Dru’s shoulder. He felt her jolt underneath him in surprise before relaxing and putting her arm around his shoulders. 

“Thank you, Dru,” he said.

“For what?”

“For being here, for listening. For helping me with… the thing that just happened.”

“The panic attack?”

He shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah, that.”

“Kit there’s nothing wrong with it, these things just happen. We don’t ask them to,” she mumbled into his hair. It reminded him, weirdly, of something Tessa might do. It made him feel safe. 

“I haven’t been ok in a long time,” Kit whispered. He didn’t know where the urge to open up to Dru had come from, but now that he had started he couldn’t stop. “For months after I left I rarely left my bed to do anything other than eat and shower. Even then I rarely did that. Jem and Tessa were worried about me but they gave me space, which was nice of them, but I don’t know if that’s what I needed. My mind went to some really dark places…”

He didn’t elaborate, didn’t know if he was ready to talk about it yet. He could tell by Dru’s silence that she was putting together the pieces. Her hand was still tight around his shoulder, her head now resting atop his, brown waves tickling his face.  

“I think I used to be brave,” he admitted, “But now when I look in the mirror all I see is a coward, a faint reflection of who I used to be. Of who I want to be. Maybe it’s because I’m from the cowardly line of Herondales. I’m no Will, or Jamie, or Jace.”

“You’re not a coward, Kit,” Dru reprimanded him. He snorted, cutting her off, and she nudged his head with the shoulder he was resting on in retaliation. She continued, “Sure, you’ve done some cowardly things, but who hasn’t? You want to know how I know you’re not a coward?”

He shifted his head so his eyes met hers, the brilliance of the Blackthorn blue searing into him. 

“I know you’re not a coward because you came back.”

“It’s been three years, Dru.”

“ _ You came back _ ,” she repeated, with stone cold resolve. “Now come on, we should actually pick out some weapons. Don’t want to go to faerie unprepared.”

He laughed, taking the hand she offered and pulling himself off the ground. “After these past two days, faerie will be a piece of cake,” he admitted. 

“Oh god, don’t jinx it please,” Dru groaned, “The last thing I need is for you to jinx our mission so bad that I get eaten by a kelpie.”

“Eaten by a kelpie?”

“Yeah, Emma and Julian saw it happen once. They said it was nasty.”

He laughed again, and Dru laughed with him. Their laughter echoed in the otherwise empty room, but the hole in Kit’s heart didn’t feel so empty anymore. It was progress, he thought. Slow progress, but progress nonetheless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: @ livvyblxckthxrn


	8. With A Little Help From My Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *whispers* DRUNK KIT

Kit and Dru went to dinner a little while later, realizing they had spent all day testing different weaponry. Jaime had never come back to join them which meant that he either had more trouble with Cristina than they had anticipated, or he had realized Dru wanted alone time with Kit.

“Dru! Can you and Kit grab water for everybody? Glasses are in the usual place,” Julian called over his shoulder as he carried plates of something that smelled delicious into the dining room. Kit had forgotten how good of a cook Julian was. Mark too. Though, he couldn’t complain, because Jem and Tessa were incredible as well. They’d had over a hundred years of practice after all.

Kit followed Dru as she began getting out glasses and filling them with water. He had a sudden thought, which was sure to end poorly, but would perhaps help him out in the short term.

“Hey Dru?” he asked casually.

“Hmm?”

“Do you guys have any… other drinks here?”

She turned to face him. “Like what?”

“Like,” he raised his eyebrows, “You know. Things with a little extra pizazz?”

“Alcohol, you mean,” she inferred, unamused.

He backtracked quickly. “To be fair, I’m legal in Devon because I’m eighteen so it’s not like I’ve never drank before.” Dru moved her hands to her hips, unyielding. Exasperated, Kit begged, “Please Dru. This is the only way I’ll survive the night. You saw me earlier. I know you want a repeat of that as much as I do.”

Her fingers twitched at her sides and he knew she was going to give in. “Fine. But remember this if I ever ask you for alcohol. Or anything, actually. Basically what I’m saying is that you owe me.”

This was how Kit ended up with a full glass of vodka sandwiched between Mark and Tavvy at the dinner table. Dru had told him it would be too suspicious to try to dilute it with another beverage and the vodka was clear enough that it looked like water, so he would just have to try not to wince each time he took a sip. Luckily, he’d had some practice and could maintain a straight face while drinking it.

Ty was seated directly across from him at the table, which was probably the reason his glass was already nearly empty. His head had a light fuzzy feeling but he was still aware enough in his own mind and body that he could behave normally. He wasn’t really partaking in any of the conversations anyway. Magnus, Alec, Max, and Rafe had decided to stay the night and Tavvy looked delighted to have his two friends at the table with him. They probably weren’t able to visit very often, Kit supposed, with all the things Magnus and Alec had to do in New York. Tavvy and Rafe were already talking about being parabatai when they got old enough.

Tavvy was so engrossed with talking to his friends he was not paying attention when he reached up on the table for his glass and accidentally grabbed Kit’s. It was halfway to his mouth before Kit realized and snatched it out of Tavvy’s hands with a fervor that earned him blank stares and raised eyebrows from nearly everyone at the table.

“Sorry, Tavs,” he apologized, face reddening at all the attention, “I, uh, this is my glass.”

“I forgot you were such a germaphobe Kit,” Dru chimed in with a covert wink. She was trying to be helpful, but Kit knew her efforts were fruitless when Ty said, “You are? We shared things before you… when you lived here.”

“Well, I’m only a partial germaphobe.” Kit tried to tether on to a train of thought but kept losing his words the minute they formed in his mind. “But, you know, this is my respecting women juice, can’t share that.”

_What the fuck, Kit?_ He thought to himself miserably. Respecting women juice? Nearly everyone would probably be able to tell he had strung random words together to form the semblance of a sentence.

“Respecting women juice?” Tavvy repeated, eyes wide with curiosity. Dru snorted, which she immediately covered with a fake cough. Kit glared at her out of the corner of his eyes before turning his attention to Tavvy.

“Yeah. It’s important to respect women, right? So, uh, I have my respecting women juice to… respect women.”

“Respecting women is very important,” Mark chimed in seriously. Then, without warning, he reached over for Kit’s glass and downed the rest of the drink in one gulp. Kit waited for him to cringe or to say something, but the only reaction he got was a slightly surprised blink. Mark stood up suddenly, announcing, “I am going to go gather more respecting women juice for myself and Christopher. Anyone else?”

Everyone blinked at him in silence, though Kit saw Magnus and Alec exchange an amused glance.

“No?” Mark continued, “Your loss then.” With that he glided out of the room (Mark never did anything as ordinary as _walking_ ) and Julian seemed to regain use of his voice.

“You know that’s just water, right?” He called after Mark. “It’s really important to me that you know that it’s water!”

There was no response from Mark, but he returned a moment later with two full glasses and handed one to Kit. Kit took his hesitantly and risked a sip. He was surprised to find that Mark had refilled his with vodka. He blinked up in surprise and Mark gave him a quick wink with a smirk. “Here’s to respecting women!” Mark announced, downing more than half his glass in one sip.

Everyone, save Tavvy, Rafe, and Max, lifted their glasses to Mark in response, though it was clear that they were all on the verge of laughter, even Ty. Just as Kit took a big sip of his drink, feeling much more blurred than he had before this conversation, Ty met his eyes across the table and smiled at him for the first time in three years. A smile so dazzling it made the sun look like a bad light bulb.

Kit choked on his respecting women juice.

Mark thumped him on the back and leaned in to whisper, “Emma will be very jealous once she finds out what we are drinking.”

“She will _not_ find out,” Kit responded quietly but sternly. Mark just gave him a quick uptick of one if his eyebrows in response before silently downing the rest of his drink. Kit matched Mark’s stare and downed his own glass while everyone else was distracted with new conversations. It felt about as good going down his throat as one might expect, but Mark laughed in response and slipped away once more to refill their glasses.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

Kit was definitely feeling the effects of what he had been drinking all night. Dinner was over but they were all still sitting around the table engaged in conversation. Kit had tried to say as little as possible, unsure if he was at the point where his words would slur together or not yet. Dru had continued to look at him with amusement all throughout dinner and he had only smiled innocently in return.

Kit realized he had been staring at the table in a slight daze when he felt a hand on his shoulder, which happened to be Mark, drawing his attention to Julian. Julian had stood up at his seat and was saying many words that Kit tried to take in.

“I’m grateful that we’re all here together, especially with Magnus, Alec, Max, Rafe, Jaime, Kit, and Ty joining us for a few days. Though I must say, I’ve missed Ty most of all. The work you’ve been doing at the Scholomance is incredible and I’m so proud of you, Ty, I really am. Anyway, I’ll stop talking now, but I’m just really glad we’re all here together for what feels like the first time in too long and that Magnus and Alec were able to take a couple days off to join us here.” Julian smiled at everyone around the table and Kit felt inspired to clap. So he did.

Everyone looked at him in surprise as he stood up in his chair and addressed Julian. “I’m very happy about this too, Julian and I think everyone here is supergreatandawesome because you’re all really cool.”

“Um, thanks, Kit, you’re cool too,” Julian said hesitantly, “Is there… a reason you’re standing? Did you want to say something else?”

_No,_ the voice in Kit’s head told him. He ignored it. “As a matter of fact, yes. I do. Want to say something. Many somethings. If that is allowed. I know that I am but a humble guest in your shining abode.”

Clearly flabbergasted, Julian spread his hands in front of him in the universal gesture for _go ahead_ before sitting back down and exchanging glances with Emma, who looked a little suspicious.

“Well,” Kit began, “Thank you all for being here. And for letting me be here. I… missed this place. You are all very important people and I think you should all know what you mean to me because I haven’t seen you in a long time and I think you might all secretly hate me.”

Dru opened her mouth but Kit silenced her with a hand, which he then pointed to Aline, who blinked at him in shock.

“Aline, you are a very bitchin’ lesbian and I wish I was a lesbian so I could be like you.” Kit shot her with finger guns before turning to Helen. “Helen, I am very jealous of your hair because it is pretty and golden and mine is only golden but not pretty, so you win. Also, you are married to Aline so you double win. Also, Aline is married to you so she wins. That is _so many wins_.”

This time it was Emma who attempted to cover her laugh with a cough, but Kit plowed on.

“Julian, I’ve always been very scared of you.” Emma laughed harder, not trying to conceal it anymore. “But here’s a secret: I still am. You make very good food though, so I’ll try to be less scared if you make me more food.”

Julian cocked his head in a way that reminded Kit of a slightly confused golden retriever. This made Kit laugh a little to himself before he turned to Emma. “Emma, I want to be you and I’m also scared of you but in, like, a different way because you would destroy me physically rather than psychologically, like Julian.” Kit realized he had forgotten Julian’s finger guns so he sent some his way before turning his attention back to Emma. “We aren’t suuuuper great friends… yet… but you’re a Carstairs and I’m a Herondale, so I’ve got ya back. If I’ve learned anything with jemandtessa, it’s that Herondales are kind of annoying put good at some things sometimes and really just need a Carstairs to put them in their place every now and then. That is your job now, Herondale slayer.”

Because Emma deserved it, he threw some finger guns and a wink her way as well.

“Cristina, everything you do is perfect and it’s not fair but I’ll accept it because you’re a very nice person and you deserve the world. Everyone in the world should be more like you. You remind me of one of those things where they like floofaloo budumga and _nice_ .” Kit was almost entirely certain his last words had made no sense at all, but Cristina looked appropriately touched and confused so he moved on. “Mark, I’m kinda scared of you too, but less so now that we’ve, like, bonded, and I’m jealous of your hair too. Tell me how you make it do that. _Please_.

“Tavvy, Max, and Rafe. You are all _very small_. And I appreciate that. Stay small forever my brave friends. Jaime, you look just like Perfect Diego now. Sorry, but I had to say it. I couldn’t let the foundation of our relationship be me keeping something this big to myself. We’re gonna be friends though, bro, I can feel it.”

Jaime had gone bright red at the mention of his brother, but had relaxed as Kit continued. Dru gave Kit a sarcastic thumbs up that, in Kit’s altered state, he took seriously, shooting finger guns her way in response. “Dru, _you are the bomb diggity_ . I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye to you, that was really… poopy of me. Gotta keep it PG for the kiddos because I was going to say _shitty_ . Anyway, you rock. And I will for sure keep my promise to you about--” he lowered his voice to a whisper, “-- _crimey stuff_. Don’t tell Julian, I’m still scared of him.”

Dru shot him a warning look before glancing at Julian, who, for the most part, simply looked dumbfounded. This was the common expression on the faces of the people at the table. Magnus was next in Kit’s line of sight and Kit lowered his voice to a whisper once more.

“Magnus,” he whispered, “I know you’re really old, not like a rude way but in like an immortal way, but I’m eighteen now so I can safely say that if you weren’t married with children and scared me a whole lot, I’d go there.”

Magnus widened his eyes and Alec choked out a laugh at his side. Kit continued, “Alec, the same goes for you. Sorry if that’s weird because you’re the Consul. Please don’t charge me with treason. Is that how treason works?”

Alec coughed again, still laughing. “That is not how treason works,” Alec assured him.

“Whew,” Kit said, wiping his hand across his forehead. He decided it was best to hit Alec with a good set of finger guns so he knew they were both on the same page. There was only one more person he hadn’t addressed at the table.

Ty.

He downed the rest of his glass without thinking and saw Emma’s eyebrows shoot up in realization from the corner of his eye.

“Ty,” he said, and then he ceased to remember a thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @ livvyblxckthxrn


	9. Talk Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kit has to deal with the aftermath of his drunken soliloquy, and luckily Emma's there to refresh his memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the kind words/kudos/comments on my last chapter and all the previous chapters! It really means the world to me and I'm honored to have brought drunk Kit into your lives XD

Kit awoke the next morning with a throbbing headache and no recollection of what had happened after he had said Ty’s name at the table the night before. His only hope was that he had passed out cold before he could say anything embarrassing. 

“Great, you’re up,” a voice said from the floor, and he looked down to find Emma sitting in a pile of blankets looking up at him with raised eyebrows.

“Hey… Emma. What are you doing here?” he said slowly. 

“After you got trashed last night, I figured it was in everyone’s best interest to keep an eye on you.”

Kit shot up in bed and, realizing this was probably suspicious, slouched in an attempt to look nonchalant. “Me? Trashed? Ha… what are you talking about?”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Kit, cut the bullshit, you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Fine,” he groaned, “Please tell me I passed out at the dinner table?”

“Passed out?” Emma’s brows furrowed as she sat up on one elbow. “Wait, you don’t remember what happened last night?”

“I remember some stuff… fuck, do I need to send everyone apology letters or something because of what I said after dinner?”

“Kit, what exactly do you remember?”

He sighed and racked his brain. He debated lying, but didn’t know what good it would do. “The last thing I remember is saying Ty’s name,” he answered honestly.  _ By the angel, _ he thought,  _ what did I say to Ty? _

Emma blew out a deep breath and looked up at him with a slight smirk. This alarmed him, as there was no reason for her to have that face unless something horribly embarrassing had occurred. 

“Emma,” he said, “What did I say to Ty?”

She didn’t answer right away, instead rising and joining him on his bed, where they both sat up facing one another, him with fear in his heart and her with mischief in her eyes. 

“Emma,” he repeated, “Please tell me what I said to Ty.”

She shrugged. “Nothing much, actually.” 

He narrowed his eyes and she laughed. “Seriously! I promise. You said… that he had pretty eyes, and that it was unfair how tall he was because you weren’t that tall.”

Ok. That wasn’t too bad. Maybe he’d worried for nothing. But Emma continued, “Then you started crying and said that you didn’t hate him and that you would never in a million billion years ever hate him or anyone in the room because we were all… rad? I think you said, with finger guns.”

Kit put his face in his hands and whispered softly, but with feeling, “Fuck.”

“Then you whispered something to Mark, still crying, and Mark got up and gave you a round of applause, which we all joined in on even though the majority of people were still confused as hell. I think that Magnus and Alec figured out the cause of your weirdness, along with me and Cristina. That was also when I realized Mark was drunk too, and that you’d both gotten drunk without  _ me _ , which was really rude, if I do say so myself.”

“Wait, so… after that I passed out? Or went to bed, or whatever?” Kit clarified. Emma laughed again. “Oh, no, Kit. That’s only the beginning. I can show you the rest.”

“Excuse me?”

Emma blushed but didn’t seem ashamed at all. “Well, I figured this would be something we could laugh about in years to come, so I filmed the rest of the night on my phone.”

In one swift move she pulled out her phone and showed him the screen, still holding it so they could both watch. The first couple videos were fine, he and Mark were just louder, more boisterous versions of themselves debating the different hairdos various members of the Blackthorn family could pull off. At one point they decided to do a lift Mark had seen in an old dance movie and were surprisingly successful. In one video Emma caught Kit walking in the entrance hall, tripping over the stairs, and covering up his blunder with a perfectly executed backflip.

“That impressed me,” Emma admitted, “I’m keeping this video for inspiration.”

Finally, as they neared the end of the videos, the setting changed to Kit’s room, so Kit figured this was when Emma had extracted him from the others.

“You know what year it is?” video Kit was saying, slurring his words, “2015. That means we can get married now for real for real if we wanted. I know it’s been ok with Shadowhunters, but mundanes can do it now too, and that’s  _ fucking sick _ .”

“Uh, Kit, I’m dating Julian,” video Emma said from behind the camera and video Kit looked at her with furrowed brows before bursting into laughter. “No, not  _ us _ , Emma. No offense or anything. It’s not you, it’s me. I promise. It’s just not like that with us, you know?”

“Did I just…” real Kit trailed off.

“Break up with me even though we  _ were _ never and  _ are _ never going to date? Yup,” real Emma verified. 

Video Kit was now standing on the bed singing “Red and Black” from Les Misérables. He was singing Marius’ part, but real Kit had a feeling that video Kit had exchanged Cosette for Ty.

“RED, I feel my soul on fiiireeeee. BLACK, my world if  _ he’s _ not thereeeee,” video Kit sang. Real Kit put his face back in his hands. “Please make it stop. I get it, I really fucked up last night.”

“You really don’t have a terrible voice,” Emma reasoned ( _ BLACK, the color of despaaaiirrrr _ , video Kit was still singing in the background), “You’d actually probably be really good if you weren’t intoxicated. Maybe you should try out for a musical.”

“Ha ha. Just tell me what the damage is,” Kit said and Emma finally put her phone away. 

“Honestly, no one thought it was that weird,” Emma explained. Kit laughed harshly and she continued, “Listen, we haven’t seen you in three years. None of us know you anymore, and that’s mostly your fault. If you want them to see you as someone other than the boy who left three years ago without saying goodbye or the boy who said a bunch of weird shit one night at dinner before almost waking the entire Institute with his Les Mis renditions, you have to let them get to know you again. No one wants an apology for last night, except for maybe Alec and Magnus because they are basically in charge of everything and you told them both that you wanted to bang them.”

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Kit hissed into his hands.

“But!” Emma cut him off, “No one wants an apology from you, they just want to know you, the real you. It was hard for a lot of us when you left. Some more than others. You left in such an abrupt way and, even though I suspect Ty and Dru know something about why, neither of them ever said anything about it. I’m not expecting an explanation now, you can take as long as you need, but if you really want to be my friend, be friends with all of us, you need to make an effort Kit. Like I said, I don’t know everything that happened three years ago, as I was a bit preoccupied with my own… stuff… but I believe that you have it in you to overcome whatever happened. I’ll help you every step of the way if you want, but I’m not sure I’m the person you need.”

She gave him a knowing look and Kit flopped back onto his pillows with a grunt. He wasn’t sure when he had begun to cry again (only a few tears, but still), but had come to accept that this was just his new constant state of being. “Is it that obvious?” he asked. 

“Is what that obvious? That Ty was your best friend and now he’s not? That you miss being friends with him and that you needed him as much as he needed you?”

Was Emma intentionally skimming over what he had really meant or did she really not know? If she didn’t know, he would like to keep it that way, so he just shrugged in agreement at her accusations and said nothing more. 

“Do you want a hug?” she asked hesitantly. He lifted his head and nodded slightly before he felt Emma’s arms wrap around his shoulders. 

“You  _ are _ buff now,” she said and he laughed. He hadn’t been hugged this way in a long time. Jem wasn’t much of a hugger, at least with him, and Tessa’s hugs were comforting in a different way. This hug didn’t make his heart race quite as much, but gave him a similar feeling to the hug he had shared on the beach with Ty when they were in the throes of necromancy. 

“Wait a minute.” Kit pulled back from the hug, a thought creeping into his mind. “What did I whisper to Mark? After I talked to Ty?”

“I don’t know. You were too quiet.” Emma shrugged listlessly. Kit threw his blankets off, accidentally hitting Emma and he shouted a quick apology before hurrying into the hall and making his way to Mark’s room. He couldn’t remember which one it was exactly so he hoped he didn’t accidentally show up in the wrong person’s room in his boxers and ill fitting t shirt. Finally, he came to a closed door and knocked tentatively.

Cristina’s voice came from inside. “Yes? Who is it?”

“Hey Cristina, it’s Kit. Is Mark in there?” he asked.

“I’m here,” Mark answered and opened the door. They were both (thank God) fully dressed, Cristina sitting at the desk with a book in her hands. Mark took in Kit’s disheveled appearance and laughed to himself. 

“You and Mark had fun last night,” Cristina said jovially. He was worried she would be mad, but she seemed to find it funny, just slightly odd, as Emma had. 

“Can I, uh, talk to Mark alone really quick?” Kit asked. “Emma’s in my room if you want to talk to her about my stupidity. She has video evidence and everything.”

“Oh please, Kit, you were nothing but kind to me all night. That is not stupid at all,” she said, but made her way past him and into the hall nonetheless. Once they were alone Kit stepped into Mark’s room and closed the door behind him. Mark raised his eyebrows suggestively, but Kit didn’t have time for it so he ignored it. 

“Mark, what did I whisper to you last night?” Kit urged. Mark cocked his head, considering. 

“Christopher, we spoke of many things last night. You will have to be more specific than that.”

Kit sighed. “After I went around the table and said something to everyone. I said something to Ty and then I started crying and whispered something to you. What did I say?”

Mark’s mismatched eyes lit up and widened slightly. Kit knew that Mark remembered, but Mark still didn’t say anything. He pleaded, “Mark, please tell me.”

“You said to me ‘I love him so much Mark, so much I feel my heart will burst with the longing. But he will never love me back,’” Mark responded. 

“Really?”

“Well, you were drunk, so I made it more poetic, but that’s the general idea,” Mark admitted. Kit slumped his head back against the wall. This was not good. Was there  _ anyone _ he hadn’t told that he was hopelessly in love with Ty? He opened the door to leave, his fear confirmed, when Mark spoke once more. 

“But Kit, who is it you love? Does he know?”

Kit halted. Was everyone seriously not putting it together? Or were Mark and Emma messing with him? He opened his mouth to stutter out some sort of answer, but another voice spoke instead.

“You’re in love?” Ty said, standing in the doorway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @ livvyblxckthxrn


	10. The Truth Untold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec: relationship gurus? More likely than you think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I don't really have a consistent updating schedule but I'm excited to share the next few chapters ;))

Kit stood before Alec and Magnus, Dru, Jaime, and Ty waiting on the opposite side of the door. They had just received the details for their mission but, unsurprisingly, Alec had asked Kit to hang back a moment for a private word. If he had been in the right headspace, he would have been worried, but he had been playing Ty’s words in his head over and over since they had seen one another in Mark’s room that morning. Kit had stood frozen and hadn’t said a thing, so Ty had turned and left without a word, and had not spoken another word to Kit since. But what was there for Ty to be mad about? Why should he care if Kit was in love? He had debated telling Ty it was  _ him _ that he was in love with, but he couldn’t do that right before their trip to faerie. It would only cause problems for all of them. 

“So,” Magnus said, drawing Kit back to the present, “You’d go there? With me? And Alec?”

Kit immediately flushed and stuttered out an apology. “I-I’m sorry about last night. I wasn’t in the right headspace, haven’t been for a while actually, but that’s a different issue. If you want to remove me from the mission and exile me or something, I get it. But I am sorry.”

“Kit, why are you so convinced that everything you do is wrong?” Alec asked. 

Kit didn’t quite know how to respond to that. “So… you’re saying it wasn’t wrong for me to get blackout drunk the night before an important mission and tell the Consul and the High Warlock of Brooklyn that I’d bang them?”

“No, that was pretty wrong, and I would probably be more mad if I were a proper Consul or if I didn’t have a  _ parabatai _ who has done the same thing a few times.” Kit shot Alec a wide eyed smirk and Alec backtracked. 

“The drunk part, not the other part. What I’m trying to tell you is that you need to have more confidence in yourself, Kit. No one here hates you, as far as I can tell, and, despite your best efforts, Drusilla, Jaime, and Tiberius don’t seem to be in a rush to get you off the mission,” Alec stated simply, “So I’ll just ask you this once more. Do you want to be removed from the mission?”

“No,” Kit said quickly, and Alec looked pleased. “I’ll do better from now on, I’ll try as hard as I can. No more drunk Kit, unless the situation permits of course.”

“Of course,” Magnus agreed, “But we will be telling Jem and Tessa about this.”

“No no no no no please don’t do that,” Kit pleaded immediately. He didn’t want them to know how much of a mess he was. It was best if they thought he was handling himself as he’d promised to try to do. “It’s not even about the drinking, I just want them to think I can handle this, that I’m all right.”

“And are you?” Magnus asked.

“Am I what?”

“All right,” Magnus answered simply, “Are you all right Christopher?”

He knew that he should say yes, but he suddenly found himself unable to lie to them. “No, I’m not. I don’t know how to be.” He heard the strain in his voice like a guitar string wound too tight.  

Magnus and Alec both looked at one another, coming to some sort of silent understanding before turning their attention back to him, expressions soft and open. Alec spoke first. “Kit, I understand more than anyone all the feelings you’re feeling and how you’d rather just cut yourself off from them than feel them at all. But you can’t do that. You have to let yourself feel these things.”

His words were a little too on point for Kit’s liking. This was the third time in a single morning that he had wondered if someone else knew how he felt about Ty, so he figured he would ask straight up rather than skirting around it as he had with Emma and Mark. Somehow he didn’t feel nervous about confiding in Alec and Magnus in this way.

“You know, then? How I feel about… him,” Kit tested cautiously.

“Tiberius, you mean?” Magnus clarified, and Kit nodded, “No offense, Kit, but you’re not very subtle. Last night you cried and told him how pretty his eyes were.”

“No one else seems to know,” Kit argued. Sure, he probably could be more subtle, but it wasn’t like he was being overtly obvious about it. “Ty clearly doesn’t. He thinks I hate him.”

“Have you considered telling him how you feel?” Alec asked. Kit laughed, “I tried that. He ignored me and proceeded to say that I didn’t matter to him at all.”

Alec’s eyes narrowed and he glanced at Magnus. “He said that?”

Kit sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “Not in so many words, but it was implied, given the, uh, situation.”

He was dancing on the edge of a forbidden topic, he realized. From what Dru had told him the day before, it seemed Magnus was aware, at least partially, of what transpired in Idris all those years ago, but Alec, as the Consul, surely couldn’t know. Necromancy was a bad enough crime that they could probably be stripped of their marks. Magnus caught his eye, an understanding passing between the two of them.

“What I’m gathering,” Magnus proclaimed, “is that you and Tiberius have a lot to unpack with one another. I’m not saying you need to unpack it now, but the journey through faerie might provide a nice atmosphere to air your feelings for one another. It’s been three years, Kit, don’t presume you know his feelings as you once did.”

“Ty doesn’t like me the way I like him, it’s very clear. I just need help getting  _ over  _ it,” Kit reiterated. Magnus rolled his eyes. “I swear, every time a Herondale settles down to a nice happy life, an even more troubled one comes to take their place.”

Kit shifted uncomfortably. He wasn’t quite sure how this had turned into a therapy session about his and Ty’s relationship (or lack thereof), but he was sure Ty, Dru, and Jaime were probably getting impatient. These walls were thick, right? The last thing he needed was for them to hear this whole conversation. 

“Kit,” Alec said seriously, “I know from experience how these feelings can eat you from the inside out and make your life miserable. It’s easier said than done, but just talk to him, like Magnus said. Don’t tell yourself you know everything about how he’s feeling before he tells you himself. Even if he doesn’t like you like you like him, hearing it from  _ him _ , and not coming up with your own assumptions will help you ‘get over him’, as you said.”

“Personally, I’m team Kitty,” Magnus interjected, “In case anyone was wondering.”

Alec and Kit both shot Magnus confused looks. Magnus raised his hands lazily in mock surrender. “Kit and Ty. Kitty. It’s a thing people do, don’t look at me like that.”

Despite everything, Kit began laughing. He didn’t know if he was laughing at the absurdity of “Kitty”, the way Alec was looking at Magnus with a mix of exasperation and adoration, or laughing to hide his inner turmoil, but it did lift his spirits. Another thought occurred to Kit in that moment that he had never even thought to entertain and immediately felt like an idiot for not considering the possibility.

“Oh god,” Kit said, eyes widening to the point his light blue irises appeared to be fully encircled by white, “I don’t even know if Ty likes boys.”

Kit himself had always found himself attracted to both boys and girls and had never really thought much about it. His dad hadn’t seemed to care all that much and he had never really done much to act on his feelings for anyone other than kiss a couple girls he went to mundane school with. Then there had been Livvy, but that had been different as well. He had never felt anything like what he felt for Ty before and had assumed this infatuation would go away with time, but it had only grown stronger and stronger until all the feelings he had tried to ignore came bursting out. He’d had opportunities to kiss boys and girls in Devon over the past three years, but he never acted on them. It was ridiculous to be holding out for someone he was fairly certain didn’t give a damn about him, at least not romantically, but everyone that wasn’t Ty just  _ wasn’t _ Ty.

Magnus stifled a laugh. “Oh, please. Have you ever known a heterosexual Blackthorn?”

“Uh, yes? Julian, Livvy, probably Ty--”

“Ok, I’ll give you Livvy,” Magnus conceded, cutting Kit off, “I didn’t know her well enough. I’m just saying, I’ve had a lot of experience with Blackthorns and I don’t think that this is one of the things you need to be worried about with Tiberius.”

He had said it with such a confidence that another jolt of panic ran through Kit. “Wait, is Ty dating someone? Is that how you know?”

Magnus groaned and slumped in his chair. Quite a dignified act for a centuries old all powerful warlock, it almost made Kit laugh again. “Christopher, please consider your words very carefully, and then consider all the advice we’ve given you. Would we really be doing this if we knew Ty was dating someone else?”

“I really don’t know why you’re doing this at all,” Kit reasoned. 

“Regardless!” Magnus interjected, “I doubt your friends, teammates, whatever you want to call them, want to wait much longer, so we’ll let you go. But consider what we’ve told you. Stop running from things that scare you, Kit. If you can go into a battle with your head held high and a smile on your face, you can talk to Tiberius.”

Alec nodded in agreement with his husband’s statement. Kit felt he had no choice but to sigh and agree that he would try his best to take their advice to heart, and found he wasn’t lying when he said so. He wasn’t sure when he would have this sort of conversation with Ty, but he’d delayed the inevitable for too long. Magnus and Alec were right, the only way he’d get over Ty was if he let his feelings out. 

“Thanks,” he told them wearily before lowering his voice to a whisper and continuing, “For what it’s worth, I stand by my statements from last night.”

Minutes later, the four of them stood in front of a portal to where they would meet Kieran, their guide to get to the Seelie Court without being caught. Normally the Unseelie King probably would not have been tasked with such a thing, but this was Kieran. Right before they stepped through the portal, Magnus gave him a significant glance at Ty and a wink, which Kit thought was a little obvious, but no one else was paying attention. Alec was more subtle, giving him a brief nod that felt like a vote of confidence, and Kit appreciated it all the same. Without taking a look behind him at the others, Kit rolled his shoulders back and stepped through the portal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @ livvyblxckthxrn


	11. Talk Me Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the squad takes on faerie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot emphasize enough how much all the kind words and kudos have meant to me! I'm so happy people are enjoying this!

Kieran met Kit on the other side of the portal with a significantly larger smile than Kit had been expecting. Unsurprisingly, the smile faltered when he saw it was Kit who had stepped through first. Kieran considered him, and Kit wondered for a moment if Kieran even remembered him. 

“Kit, it has been a long time. Longer so for me than you, I’m sure. How long has it been in the mortal world since we have beheld one another?”

“Uh… three years.” Kit was so unused to the peculiar way in which faeries spoke that it threw him off a bit. He glanced back to make sure the others were coming out of the portal behind him, partially out of discomfort. Once he saw Ty step through with a slightly windblown, hair tousled in a way that Kit found extremely attractive, he felt the heat rise to his cheeks. When he turned back to Kieran, the faerie was studying him carefully. 

“When did that happen? Mark and Cristina said nothing of it,” Kieran asked discreetly. 

“When did what happen?” Kit glanced back at Ty as the other boy patted his hair into submission. Their eyes met for a moment before Kieran spoke again. “You and Tiberius.”

Kieran said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Kit tried to laugh it off. “What? You’re crazy. Me and Ty? Yeah, no that’s not a thing. That will never be a thing.”

Kieran narrowed his eyes. “Forgive me then, I had just assumed from the way you looked at one another, like you were the center of each other’s worlds.” Kit felt the heat rise to his cheeks once more. “In any case, I’m glad to see you again, even if you are not Mark or Cristina. Or even Emma or Julian.”

“Um, thanks?”  

“Hey, Kieran!” Dru smiled as she reached where Kit and Kieran were standing, Jaime and Ty a few steps behind her. “Long time no see! Mark and Cristina send their love and this note.”

Dru handed a folded letter out to him and his expression softened at the sight of it. Kieran, Mark, and Cristina’s relationship may not have worked for everyone, but for them it made total sense. They fit with one another like pieces of a puzzle. It was hard for Kit to imagine finding two people to love with your whole heart when he could only find one that would never reciprocate the same type of love.

Once they all had their bearings, Kieran began to lead them into what Kit assumed was faerie. Kit had never been to faerie before and felt a light unease as they walked. He had been so caught up with his feelings and thoughts about Ty that he hadn’t actually considered the risk he was taking by going to faerie. What if someone recognized him like the Riders had? Maybe it was a good thing that Shadowhunters were dreadful at disguising themselves. This way, at least he would look like the furthest thing from a faerie.

After they had walked for a while, they came to a point that Kit realized was the actual entrance to the Seelie Court of faerie. So far they had been on some sort of cusp that had felt neither in nor outside of the mortal lands or faerie itself. 

Kieran paused. “I believe this is where I leave you.”

“You’re not coming with us into the court?” Jaime asked, slinging his backpack over his shoulders. They had all tried to pack as little as possible, except for Jaime. Aside from the gear they were wearing under normal clothes, they had packed small bags of food and water and weaponry, but Jaime clearly didn’t know the definition of packing light. At least they wouldn’t run out of essentials with him around. 

“I’m afraid I cannot. The Seelie Queen has shrouded her lands from my court, and to enter unannounced would be an act of betrayal on my behalf. I have led you as far as I am able,” Kieran explained. 

“Oh. Well, see you, then.” Dru gave Kieran an awkward wave. Clearly, aside from Mark and Cristina, no one had been able to spend much time with Kieran over the past few years either. Though, it hadn’t really been Kieran’s choice. And he hadn’t left without saying goodbye. 

Kieran ended up surprising them all by pulling them each into a brief hug before they set off on their way. As Kieran embraced Kit he pulled him a bit closer to whisper in his ear. “In my experience, feelings do not do well unattended to. The nights in faerie are beautiful and lengthy, should the need to talk to any particular person arise.”

Arching one of his eyebrows as he pulled away from Kit, Kieran gave them all one last nod before disappearing into the thick mist that now surrounded them. Dru sidled up beside Kit. “What did Kieran say to you?”

“Hmm?” Kit started. He had been in the middle of wondering if every person they encountered would find a way to give him relationship advice and how to better hide his clearly obvious attraction to Ty. “Oh, he just told me to tell you guys to disguise yourselves better.”

Dru scoffed. “You’re disguised the same as all of us.”

“Yeah, but I haven’t been a Shadowhunter as long as you all. I know how to slip out of my Shadowhunter persona and back into Kit Rook. Besides, Shadowhunters are  _ actually _ horrendous at disguising themselves. You all act so shocked when your cover is blown but concealing runes with makeup isn’t the only thing needed for a convincing disguise.” Kit had grown up watching different people come and go through the Shadow Market, and he had always been able to spot the Shadowhunters from a mile away. 

“Oh, really.” Dru folded her arms across her chest and had a look on her face of slight distaste. “Well, what would you suggest we do differently then?”

Jaime and Ty were both looking at Kit with rapt attention, as if they actually wanted to know what he had to say. He had mostly been teasing Dru, but figured now was as good a time as any to find ways for them all to be more discreet. “Well,” he began, “The main problem is that you all have too much confidence. You walk around like you’re ready to be attacked at any moment.”

“Aren’t we, though?” Jaime cut in.

Kit shook his head and tried to explain. “No-- well, yes, but you can’t act like it, you know?”

Blank stares. Kit sighed. “The point of being covert is to blend into your surroundings. You can’t do that if you’re walking around like you own the place.”

“But we… don’t own faerie.” Ty’s brows furrowed and Kit had to overcome his urge to smile at how cute his confused face was. Instead Kit laughed, “Yeah, no shit Sherlock, otherwise we wouldn’t be sneaking in.”

It was a joke, and Kit could tell they all took it as one, but after the words processed Ty and Dru both stiffened. How could he have been so stupid as to make a Sherlock Holmes reference? Jaime, oblivious to the meanings contained within those words, broke the tense silence. “Ok then Watson, what should we do differently, then?”

Everything might have been fine if Jaime hadn’t called him Watson. They might have been able to move past it as if it had never happened. Kit felt his face blanch at the same time Ty’s did and the two of them met one another’s gaze, a sense of hurt and longing present in their eyes. Kit had actively avoided everything Sherlock Holmes related over the past few years and wondered with a pang if the abrupt end to Kit and Ty’s friendship had at all hindered Ty’s enjoyment of the stories. 

Their eyes were still locked on one another, Kit felt as though the rest of the world had blurred. He could faintly hear Jaime say something else but couldn’t make out the words. Ty was the first to look away, eyes flitting down to his feet. This drew Kit back to the present. 

“We’ll go over more disguising lessons later,” he said, voice shaking slightly, “We should get a move on, we have a lot of ground to cover.”

Without another word, Kit pushed through his companions and led the way into the Seelie Court, despite the fact he had no idea where he was going. He didn’t even check to make sure the others were following him. Footsteps approached on his right and he assumed it was Dru coming to reprimand him, so he sighed deeply and began formulating his counterargument in his head, but when he looked over he saw Ty matching him stride for stride. 

“I have the map,” Ty said as an explanation. 

“Oh,” was all Kit could think to respond. It was truly a stroke of luck they had acquired any semblance of a map at all. This one had been enchanted by Kieran to match faerie’s ever changing layout, so it was mostly accurate. Ty was definitely the best person to entrust with such an item.

Ty had his headphones slung around his neck and Kit could almost hear the vibrations coming off of them. He hadn’t realized Ty continued to play his music even when he didn’t have his headphones on. Kit snuck a glance at Ty’s face. “What are you listening to?”

Ty looked shocked at the question and immediately blushed. “I don’t think you know it,” he said hastily. Kit knew Ty mostly listened to classical music but wanted to continue their conversation in any way he could, to try to make things feel more normal between them and hopefully make Ty forget his Sherlock comment.

“Try me.”

Ty’s hands fluttered at his sides. “It’s just from a musical I like.”

“Oh. That’s cool. I like musicals.” Admittedly, Kit hadn’t listened to or seen many musicals, but Troy Bolton owned the one piece of Kit’s heart that didn’t belong to Ty, if that counted as a musical. He had also become deeply obsessed with Les Misérables almost immediately after his departure from the Blackthorn family. The movie adaptation had come out on Christmas of that year and Jem and Tessa had taken him in hopes of lightening his spirits. It became clear within the first quarter of the movie that this would most definitely  _ not  _ be the case, but for some reason Kit had fallen in love with the story anyway. He had listened almost exclusively to music from Les Mis for the year following. Part of the reason he thought he liked it so much was that he thought Ty would have loved it. 

The silence between the two of them was hanging in the air again, made all the more uncomfortable by the fact that Dru and Jaime had seemingly ceased their conversations to watch Kit and Ty as well. Kit picked up his pace a bit, hoping that Ty would understand he wanted to put some distance between the two of them and the two others. If he wanted to broach the idea of talking to Ty, he would never be able to do it if he thought Dru and Jaime were listening. 

Once the two of them were a little further separated from their other companions they both began to speak at the same time.

“Listen, about last night--”

“Did you mean what you--”

“Oh, sorry, you go first,” Kit said, laughing uncomfortably to himself. Ty shook his head vigorously. “No, you go.”

“Um, ok.” Kit coughed, filtering his words through what felt like the only two functioning brain cells that he had. “About last night, I think Jaime has probably guessed, or maybe Dru told him, or maybe he’s totally in the dark still, but I was… drunk. So I’m sorry for anything I said. I admittedly don’t remember much.”

Ty’s face became guarded. “Oh. I guess that makes sense. I knew something was off…” he trailed off. “So you didn’t mean what you said to me, then?”

Kit panicked. “What part?”

“Um, well, you um, said that I, uh, was tall,” Ty began, words coming out in a flustered jumble. The tops of his cheeks were quite pink. “And… some other stuff about my… um, I don’t remember. But you also said that you would never hate me. Never ever. Was that true?”

Ty was looking at him with a burning intensity and Kit felt like he was under some sort of spotlight. It wasn’t an entirely uncomfortable sensation, if he was being honest, having Ty’s full attention on him.

Kit let out a shaky laugh. “Honestly, it was probably the most truthful thing I’ve said since I’ve been back.” Catching a glance at Ty’s panicked expression Kit quickly continued, “Not that I haven’t been honest since I’ve been back! It’s just, I get a little more… open when alcohol comes into the equation. I’m not really the best at talking about my feelings.”

“Me neither,” Ty said quietly, almost to himself. He looked at Kit out of the corner of his eyes. “I know you’ve said you aren’t mad at me, that you don’t hate me, but I can’t think of any other reason you would leave me for three years.”

“You’ve been at the Scholomance,” Kit argued, “I wouldn’t have been with you anyway.”

“You know full well that I would never have gone if you’d stayed.”

Kit did know that, in a way. It made him sad, that Ty would have given up one of his dreams so readily for someone that really didn’t mean that much to him. He would have understood if Ty had given it up for Livvy, but if he wouldn’t have given it up for anyone else in his family, why would he give it up for Kit? “And how could I do that to you? I knew how much you’d wanted to go to the Scholomance, what kind of person would I be if I kept you from that?”

“So… you left for me? So I could go to the Scholomance?”

Kit could have lied and said yes. It would have been the easy thing to do. It really was becoming a problem that he couldn’t lie to Ty. “Not… exactly. I mean, I’m really glad that my leaving meant you got to do something you’d always wanted to do, but I’m not that selfless. I left because you didn’t-- you don’t-- really need me or want me in your life. Not like I needed you.”

“But why would you think that?”

“You said so. You told Livvy that there was  _ nothing _ if she wasn’t there. I guess I fell into the nothing category, so I figured you wouldn’t care if I was gone.” Kit risked a glance at Ty and was shocked to see Ty’s eyes burning with fury. He didn’t think he’d ever really seen Ty mad before. 

“Ty?” he tried hesitantly, but Ty ignored him and stomped off at a brisk pace, leaving Kit frozen in place. Dru and Jaime caught up with Kit quickly, Dru shooting him an accusing glare. 

“What did you do Kit?” she hissed, dragging him behind her. His feet still refused to obey him, yearning to stay planted in the ground. 

“I-- nothing! Let go of me!” He yanked his arm out of her grip. She shot him a cold glare. “Nothing!” he repeated, “I swear. We were just talking.”

She rolled her eyes and picked up her pace. “Well, last I checked, he’s the only one with a map, so we better catch up before we lose him.”

The three of them hurried until they saw a glimpse of Ty’s slim figure, standing frozen a little ahead of them. They caught up as quickly as they could and Kit saw that the fury in Ty’s eyes had been replaced with fear. 

“Ty? Ty what is it?” Dru asked her brother, Jaime and Kit reaching for weapons subtly. 

“Not alone,” Ty breathed, just as a group of faeries stepped into the clearing, smiling wickedly.

“Well, well, well, little Shadowhunters, you’re a long way from home aren’t you?” the one in the front, a handsome gentry faerie, said maliciously, hands reaching nonchalantly towards the weapons on his belt.

“Well, fuck,” Jaime muttered on Kit’s left. Kit thought that statement summed up their situation pretty well.  

“Well, fuck indeed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @ livvyblxckthxrn


	12. One Day More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kit uses some uhhhh unorthodox methods to face off against faerie warriors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl this is one of my favorite chapters so far even though it's lowkey one massive shitpost so I hope you all like it !!
> 
> sorry for all the les mis references, I, like Kit, am deeply obsessed with this musical
> 
> for reference, in case you have no idea wtf is going on in this chapter, watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otZKdoHs06g

Before anyone could do anything else, Kit stepped forward, quite stupidly if he was being honest. Wasn’t he the one that should have been trying to avoid being seen most of all? The faeries all considered him slowly, a sensation that was wholly uncomfortable.

“So, what gave it away? Our runes are all covered up. I’ve been trying to teach these three about disguises, and how horrible Shadowhunters are at them, but they didn’t believe me.” He was rambling, sure, but if it took the attention away from the fact that they were four Shadowhunters that had shown up in faerie unannounced, he would ramble as long as needed. He wasn’t quite sure he should have been admitting that they were trying to sneak around through faerie, but it seemed to be distracting the faeries.

The faerie in front glanced between the four of them in confusion. “You all walk a certain way, like you own the land on which you tread.”

“See!” Kit exclaimed. “That’s what I said! Not quite as articulately, but same general idea.”

“What business do you have here, Shadowhunter?” the faerie inquired, clearly unimpressed by Kit’s attempts of distraction.

“Well,” Kit began, “We have a… surprise for the Seelie Queen.” The faerie’s hands tightened on his weapons.

Kit threw his hands up in surrender. “Woah, woah, woah! Hold up! A good surprise! Promise! What’s your name? I’d feel better talking to you if I knew who you were.”

The faerie’s eyes narrowed. “Names have immense power here in faerie, child. They are not given freely to the first person to demand such a thing. For the time being, however, you may address me as Ronireth.”

Kit remembered a conversation he’d had with Jace years ago and decided to channel his inner Jace Herondale to make up for all the confidence he lacked. “All right, Ron-- can I call you Ron?”

“You may not.”

“Listen, Ron, it’s kind of a secret, why we’ve been sent. It’s really important that we see the Queen, though. We wouldn’t want her to be left out.”

“Left out of what?” Ronireth asked quickly. Kit caught Dru and Jaime exchanging a confused glance and hoped they would stay silent so he could carry out the insane plan his brain had put together. He explained, “I guess I can tell you, even though it will ruin the surprise. The Consul from the Clave sent us here to ask if any faeries of the Seelie Court would like to be a part of the production we’re putting on. We’ve sent out others to make the same offer to the Unseelie Court, warlocks, vampires, werewolves, and other Shadowhunters.”

“A production?”

“Yeah, a musical. The Consul wants to foster better relationships with all areas of the downworld, and a musical is a great way to bring different types of people together. Just ask Troy Bolton.”

“Troy Bolton?”

“Not important. Anyway, we’ve been sent to perform a number from the show for the Queen to ask if the Seelie Court would like to participate, but we can’t do that if you stop us,” Kit finished. Ronireth considered him slowly once more. Kit was almost entirely certain that his plan would fail miserably when Ronireth asked, “May we see the number?”

“Um…”

Ronireth continued, “You see, we faeries are very fond of music. We could act as a, what do you people call it, focus group? We could act as a focus group to let you know if you should even approach the Queen with this offer. Really, it is quite lucky you ran into us. Without our input the Queen may very well have laughed in your face, or killed you on the spot.”

“Right,” Kit agreed, unsure of how to get out of this. He thought of Emma’s words earlier that morning, which had mostly inspired this insane plan, and what had inspired her to speak them. He thought of his and Ty’s conversation and how Ty had spoken of musicals.

“We would need music, though, and we aren’t technically in the cast yet, so--”

A faerie beside Ronireth cut him off. “You could find the music on your small rectangular communication devices, if you please. You will find we have excellent cellular service in faerie.”

Kit pulled out his phone, stunned to see he had full bars. “How lucky,” he mumbled. He scrolled through Youtube until he found an instrumental version of the song he was looking for.

In a last, desperate attempt to not embarrass himself in front of all these faeries, Ty, Dru, and Jaime, he said, “Normally this song is performed with a full cast, so the effect might not be the same with just--”

“We’ll be the judges of that,” Ronireth interrupted, not unpleasantly. Kit nodded in defeat. He sighed, finger hovering over the play button. What on earth was he doing?

He clicked play and the tell tale notes of “One Day More” from Les Misérables filled the air. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Ty’s gaze turn sharply in his direction.

“ _One day more, another day, another destiny, this never-ending road to Calvary. These men who seem to know my crime will surely come a second time. One day more…_ ” Kit began.

“ _I did not live until today._ ” Kit’s head shot up towards the voice that had picked up the next lyrics.

“ _How can I live when we are parted?_ ” Ty sang, somewhat uneasily. Kit smiled despite himself, trying not to lose his cool at the sound of Ty’s voice, a gorgeous lilt that seemed to have come from the heavens as he continued, “ _One day more_.”

“ _Tomorrow you’ll be worlds away… and yet with you my world has started.”_

“ _One more day all on my own,_ ” a new voice joined, and Kit almost choked when he saw it was Jaime. Dru was looking at them all in utter shock.

“ _Will we ever meet again?_ ” Ty and Kit harmonized.

“ _One more day with him not caring…_ ” Jaime lamented.

“ _I was born to be with you._ ” Kit tried not to look at Ty as the two of them sang that line.

“ _What a life I might have known_.”

“ _And I swear I will be true._ ”

“ _But he never saw me there…_ ”

Dru sighed deeply, then cut in, taking over the next line, “ _One more day before the storm--”_

“ _Do I follow where she goes?_ ” Ty continued the lines of Marius.

“ _At the barricades of freedom--”_

“ _Shall I join my brothers there?_ ”

“ _As our ranks begin to form--_ ”

“ _Do I stay or do I dare?_ ”

“ _Will you take your place with me?_ ”

The four of them looked to one another, smiling slightly as they all sang together, “ _The time is now, the place is here._ ”

“ _One day more!_ ” Jaime sang as Kit took over Javert’s lines. “ _One more day till revolution, we will nip it in the bud. We'll be ready for these schoolboys, they will wet themselves with blood!_ ”

“ _One day more!_ ” Ty belted, and Kit’s heart may have stopped in his chest briefly at the sheer perfection of his voice.

“ _Watch them run amuck, catch'm as they fall, never know your luck when there's a free for all! Here's a little dip, very little touch, most of them are goners so they won't miss much!_ ” Jaime and Dru sang.

“ _One day to a new beginning,_ ” Ty cut in.

“ _Raise the flag of freedom high!_ ” Dru and Jaime harmonized, trying to fill in for the fact that an entire cast was meant to be singing this song.

“ _Every man will be a king._ ”

“ _Every man will be a king!_ ”

“ _There's a new world for the winning._ ”

“ _There's a new world to be won!_ ”

“ _Do you hear the people sing?_ ” the three of them sang together.

Kit looked Ty directly in the eye as he sang the next lines, “ _My place is here, I fight with you…_ ”

Ty smiled briefly, beautifully. “ _One day more!_ ”

The rest of the song was a blur after that smile, a smile meant for Kit and Kit alone. He and Ty sang Marius and Cosette’s lines as Jaime sang Eponine’s and Dru sang Javert’s on top of it, transitioning into Jaime and Dru taking over again for Monsieur and Madame Thenardier as Ty took over for Javert and Kit settled back into Valjean’s lines.

Finally, they all came together at the end to sing, “ _Tomorrow we'll discover what our God in Heaven has in store! One more dawn… One more day… One day more!_ ”

They all held the last note surprisingly well and looked at one another in awe of what they had just (frankly) pulled out of their asses. Kit had been so caught up in the moment he had forgotten _why_ they had just performed a number from Les Mis until he heard a small noise come from one of the faeries in front of them. The four of them gazed on in utter shock as Ronireth wiped his eyes with a small handkerchief.

“That was… beautiful,” Ronireth admitted, sobbing openly now. The other faeries looked similarly touched. “Please, go on to the Queen and inform her of this musical. We ourselves would be honored to be involved, should the Queen permit it.”

Kit coughed, making sure he wasn’t about to start singing again. “Yeah, you guys are definitely invited to audition, for sure. So… we’ll just go on then?”

Ronireth waved his hand and the faeries surrounding him cleared a path. “Go on, young Shadowhunters, and cleanse the world with your song. We will make certain no others bother you on your journey to the Queen. We will send a messenger to inform her majesty of your arrival so she may not be caught unawares by your abrupt appearance. Should you find an opening once you have an audience with the Queen, please tell the her of our immense interest in this project, and tell her Ron sent you forth.”

Kit touched his heart in a show of appreciation. “I’m allowed to call you Ron?”

Ron nodded firmly, tears still in his eyes.

Kit addressed the crowd as he began walking forward, making sure Ty, Dru, and Jaime were behind him. “Thank you, Ron, and all of you. We hope to see you all once production begins.”  

The faeries began to cheer as they passed through, their cheers being heard by the four of them for quite a while even after they had passed. Once they were certain they were out of earshot, the four of them halted and stared at one another with wide eyes.

Surprisingly, Ty was the first one to break, doubling over with laughter, tears streaming down his face. Once Ty began to laugh, Kit couldn’t keep himself from joining in, and it seemed Dru and Jaime felt the same. The four of them nearly collapsed onto the ground they were laughing so hard.

“What… the… fuck,” Ty murmured through his laugh, which made Kit and the others laugh even harder. He wasn’t sure he’d ever heard Ty curse before, aside from the one time he’d said the Scholomance was full of assholes. Dru was the first to compose herself, glancing from Jaime to Ty before finally resting her gaze on Kit.

“What the _hell_ was that?” she was still giggling slightly and Kit blushed in response. If he was being completely honest he had absolutely no idea where his inane plan had come from and had no intention of it actually working.

He rubbed one of his hands over the back of his neck and through his hair. “Emma said something to me this morning about musicals because of what happened last night and I guess they were just on my mind.”

“How did you know about Les Mis?” Ty asked quietly, having finally ceased laughing himself.

Kit screwed up his face in confusion. “What do you mean? How did I know about Les Mis? I’ve seen the movie about a million times, I have _all_ the songs memorized.” He said it with confidence as if it were the most normal thing in the world to have listened to the music from this three hour long musical so much he had memorized all the songs. Dru, Ty, and Jaime had all picked up the lyrics without any mistakes, though, so he clearly wasn’t the only one who had immersed himself in Les Misérables, at least a little bit.

Ty matched Kit’s gaze with a confused one of his own. “No… how did you know that’s what I was listening to before, when we were talking?”

“I didn’t,” Kit answered honestly, the beginnings of a smile making their way onto his face. He tried to stifle it before the others could see just how happy this connection to Ty had made him. “I was completely surprised when you all joined in. Thanks for that, by the way, it would have been incredibly embarrassing to have to sing all the parts by myself.”

“You just might be one of the weirdest people I have ever met, Kit Herondale,” Jaime said with an exasperated breath. “First your weird speech and dancing and debates with Mark last night, now whatever the hell just happened with the faeries. _Dios_ , you people are going to kill me.”

Kit realized then that Jaime was the only one of them that didn’t know the cause of Kit’s weird behavior the night prior and laughed to himself before clarifying, “Jaime, I was drunk last night. Like, completely and utterly trashed. That’s why I was… like that.”

Jaime’s face cleared like an unsolvable question had just been answered. “That makes so much more sense. I thought you had simply lost your mind.”

“That too,” Kit admitted.

“Next time let me join, eh Herondale? I cannot wait to tell Thais about all of this.” Jaime looked at Dru, whose eyes widened as she considered telling whoever Thais was what had transpired.

“Oh God,” she said, “She’ll never believe us. We should have recorded it. No one back at the Institute will believe us either, I bet. This beats anything Julian, Emma, Mark, or Cristina could have done when they went on missions to faerie years ago.”

“Who’s Thais?” Kit asked.

“Our friend from the academy, her mother runs the Rio Institute,” Jaime explained. Kit had forgotten that both of them had attended the new Shadowhunter Academy in New York for two of the years he had missed. He wondered why they hadn’t tried to become _parabatai_ in that time, wondered if people could even become _parabatai_ anymore, with Idris being closed off.

“More than _friend_ for some,” Dru said slyly as Jaime blushed. Jaime nudged her with his foot. “I didn’t know you and Thais were an _item_?” he teased.

Dru laughed, “Oh she’d be first on my list, believe me. Tragically, she has fallen prey to the curse of heterosexuality.”

Kit’s mind trailed back to what Magnus had said earlier. _Oh, please. Have you ever known a heterosexual Blackthorn?_ It seemed there may have been more truth in that statement than Kit had believed there would be. Maybe there was hope after all.

He squashed that thought as soon as he’d had it. There was no room for him to hope if he intended to get over Ty. Dru’s voice dragged him back to the present. “We should try to get Thais to come to the LA Institute once we get back from the mission. She’ll be so jealous,” she was saying.

Ty cut in, “Speaking of the Institute, how do you think we should go about explaining that we promised a Downworlder-Shadowhunter musical to the faeries of the Seelie Court?”

“Um,” Kit said articulately. Dru and Jaime’s blank stares told him that they had no answers either. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

Ty accepted this without argument, still smiling faintly. Gone were the traces of his earlier fury. Kit still wanted to know why Ty had gotten so mad, but was in no mood to say anything that might eliminate the smile from Ty’s face once and for all. Forget alcohol, Kit could have gotten drunk on the sight of Ty’s smile.

_Focus, Kit_ . These were definitely _not_ thoughts to be having if he intended to get over Tiberius Blackthorn anytime soon.

“Well, shall we?” Dru looked to all of them in turn before setting back off on their path, Ty matching her pace and checking his map. Jaime and Kit trailed behind them as Kit tried to think of what might await them as they approached the Queen. Now that she knew they were coming, they would undoubtedly have to entertain an audience with her.

Kit sighed. For the time being, he decided, he would just take things one mistake at a time and hope it all turned out alright in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @ livvyblxckthxrn


	13. Bad Ideas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> our beloved squad meets with our "beloved" queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you endlessly for all the love on this I'm really excited to share more with you all :)))

Kit stood at the entrance to the Seelie Queen’s throne room rethinking every decision he had made in his life up to this point. How might his life have been different if he refused to be a Shadowhunter? He certainly wouldn’t be moments away from entertaining his great great something grandmother (who happened to be the Queen of the Seelie Court) with information about a fake musical. He was also just now realizing how many strange twists and turns his life had taken since his father had died. Kit Rook would never have recognized Kit Herondale. 

“Do we knock?” Jaime whispered. Kit and Dru shrugged. Ty unwittingly made the decision for them by reaching out to touch the door. Once his hand made contact with it, the door swung wide open revealing the Seelie Queen, gentry faeries guarding her from all sides. Flanking her beside the throne were two hooded figures, both of whom disappeared with the flick of her hand, barely a moment after the door opened. 

The Queen looked at them disdainfully. “You Shadowhunters have a nasty habit of arriving in my Court unannounced.”

“We were told that Ron would inform you of our arrival your… Highness?” Kit wasn’t entirely certain how to address a faerie Queen, something someone ought to have told him before they embarked on this mission. She raised an eyebrow at him and let her gaze rest on each of them, finally stopping on Dru. 

“A Blackthorn,” she mused, “I had wondered when another one of you would stumble into my midst. Couldn’t wait very long, I see.”

The four of them exchanged confused glances. Last they heard, the last time  _ any _ Shadowhunter had been in the Seelie Court was when Julian and Emma were there three years prior. Noting their unease, the Queen continued, “Though perhaps it has been longer than I realize. Time passes differently here, as I am sure you all know.”

None of them spoke. Kit wasn’t totally keen on speaking again anytime soon, sure that the Queen would be able to call his bluff or would somehow recognize him as a descendant of the First Heir. The Queen drew her eyes away from them lazily. “Perhaps introductions are in order? I do not do business with those I cannot address, and I am sure you have come here with something in mind other than a nice chat.”

Kit elbowed Dru at his side to go first, as the Queen had already recognized her as a Blackthorn. She shot him daggers with her eyes but stepped forward regardless. “I am a Blackthorn indeed, your majesty. I’m Drusilla, Drusilla Blackthorn. This is my brother Tiberius.”

Dru gestured to Ty, whose hands were fluttering slightly. This sort of a flutter Kit somehow knew meant that Ty was itching to pull his headphones over his ears to dull the swirling lights and colors surrounding them. He seemed grateful Dru had not made him introduce himself. 

“I am Jaime Rosales,” Jaime said, “I believe my family has been in touch with you and your Court over many generations.”

Indeed, the Queen warmed slightly as Jaime introduced himself. “Rosales. Yes, I remember your family. Your family is perhaps to this day the only Shadowhunter family I regard with any hint of trust.”

Kit didn’t know whether this would be good or bad news for them. He realized it was his turn to introduce himself, but was suddenly aware that he should not use his real name. It would be plenty easy for the Queen to gather information about who he really was if he did. 

“I’m Cameron Ashdown,” he said, and Ty turned to him sharply before trying to look casual about his reaction. Dru and Jaime had stiffened as well, but he knew they all probably understood why he had lied. 

“Interesting,” the Queen murmured, “I’ve never met an Ashdown before, though you look vaguely familiar to me.”

Kit shrugged unhelpfully. The Queen said nothing more but considered him carefully before moving on. “I presume you come here to inquire something of me. I make no promises to you, and I owe nothing to Shadowhunters, but inquire away.”

Her words dripped with venom that seemed unwarranted from what Kit knew of the relationship between Shadowhunters and faeries. Granted, he knew more of what was going on in the Unseelie Court these days, but he still didn’t know why the Queen would have such a hatred for them, especially if it was true that Ash had somehow made his way back to her from Thule. Kit wasn’t entirely certain how to proceed, but found he didn’t have to speak for them as Ty stepped forward.

Ty’s hands were still at his sides now and his headphones were stowed away somewhere out of sight. He looked every inch a strong and confident Centurion. It made Kit lose his breath a little. “We’ve been sent on behalf of the Clave to see if the faeries of your court would be interested in participating in the musical production we are putting on,” Ty said matter of factly. 

The Seelie Queen clearly was not expecting this as a reason for their visit. Her eyelids fluttered as she found her response. “I’m sorry?”

Ty repeated himself as naturally as before. He had an honest face, which made it easy to trust him. It was one of the things Kit had first noticed about him. Even in their adventures through the Shadow Markets of London and Los Angeles Ty had been adored by the strangers they encountered regardless of the fact he was a Shadowhunter. 

The Queen seemed to be considering carefully, evaluating if this was some sort of trick. Kit made another mental note to talk to Alec to try to make the musical actually happen. He didn’t want to leave Ron hanging, after all. The Queen straightened on her throne. “Has this offer been made elsewhere?”

“Yes, or, it will. The Clave is planning on sending out other teams to inquire after the faeries of the Unseelie Court, warlocks, vampires, and werewolves, as well as Shadowhunters from around the world. The Consul sent us to speak with you first because your interest was of high priority,” Ty explained simply. Kit couldn’t help but be impressed at how well he lied, how smoothly the words slipped off his tongue. 

Despite Ty’s excellent skills in dishonesty, Kit was sure the Queen would see right through them. She mulled over Ty’s words silently, face showing no indication she had believed a word he’d said. 

“What musical?” she asked, and Kit almost passed out in relief. He tried to keep his face from showing this by faking a cough into his arm. Ty shot him a glance which Kit returned. They held one another’s gazes for a long moment until the Queen huffed impatiently.

“Les Misérables,” Jaime filled in. Ty blinked away from Kit with a red face and nodded in agreement towards Jaime. The Queen continued to ask questions, mainly about the musical, which Ty answered to the best of his ability, remaining cool and unruffled despite the circumstances. Jaime made the mistake of mentioning that they had performed a number for Ron and the other faeries with him, so she asked them to repeat their performance. Grudgingly, they obliged her, trying to fill this performance with more bravado than they had before. The Queen’s face looked vaguely uneasy, which was well justified in Kit’s opinion, but she didn’t cringe in disgust when they finished, a good sign.

The Queen spoke. “I must say, I am surprised by the efforts of the Clave to respect and make peace with the Downworld. This musical… are the Shadowhunters aware they would be required to treat us as equals?”

“Of course,” Ty answered with unflinching honesty, “The Clave still has very far to go, but we have made much progress over the past three years under the leadership of our recent Consul, Alec Lightwood.”

The Queen’s eyes flashed, almost imperceptibly. “I suppose I could offer this opportunity to the faeries of my Court. We believe greatly in the power of music and the ways it can grow and heal those who partake in its magic. Tell your Consul to send us a message when the other Downworlders agree to partake in this musical. We will not participate unless all others are represented. Until then, you are dismissed from my Court, and please do not arrive unannounced ever again, or I may not be so kind.”

It was more than they could have hoped for. Kit fought the urge to pinch himself to make sure this was real. Sure, the Queen may have an ulterior motive, but so did they, so he wasn’t going to worry too much about that for the time being. Each of them bowed to her in turn before making way to exit the throne room. Just as the door was about to close on them the Queen said, “Tell your  _ Consul _ the Queen looks forward to working with him in the future. And tell Clary Fairchild I said hello.”

The doors slammed shut, leaving them alone to ponder their next move. 

“How do you guys think we should--” Kit faltered when he noticed he was alone. Where had the others gone? They had all left together. 

“Hello?” Dru’s voice could be heard beside him. Confused, Kit reached out in front of him, his hand brushing against something soft, though the air looked completely empty. Where had his arm gone? 

“Is someone touching my hair?” Ty’s voice sounded far less calm than it had in the presence of the Queen. Kit removed his hand quickly. 

“What’s going on? Are you all still here?” Kit asked. 

“Yes,” Jaime answered, voice filled with wonder. He continued, “Are we invisible?”

The thought was laughable, and yet it also seemed the most viable answer. Dru’s voice spoke again. “Why… did the Queen do something? I didn’t think anything like this was possible for  _ any _ faerie, even the Queen.”

_ Stay silent _ , a voice in Kit’s head told him,  _ All of you _ . Kit hushed the other three just as the doors threw themselves open once more. Kit threw himself out of the way as the Queen strode through and hoped the others did the same. She didn’t seem to be able to see them either. Kit reached out for what he hoped were Ty, Dru, and Jaime, pulling their invisible bodies with him back through the doors before they closed. If they were invisible for some reason, they may as well use it to their advantage. 

The throne room was now completely abandoned aside from the two robed figures that had reappeared beside the throne. As soon as the door closed behind them once more the four of them rematerialized. Kit panicked, hoping the robed figures weren’t part of the Queen’s guard. 

“What the hell?” Jaime hissed at his side quietly, examining his own hands as if he didn’t believe they were real. One of the robed figures lifted their head and the four of them stepped back slightly. An explanation was on the tip of Kit’s tongue, abandoned once the figure lowered their hood. 

“Jace?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @ livvyblxckthxrn


	14. Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> soft boy ash ! soft boy ash ! soft boy ash !

Jace Herondale stood before the four of them as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Why was Jace there? Did the Queen know he was there? Before Kit could ask any of these questions, the other figured lowered their hood and Kit heard Dru’s sharp intake of breath beside him. 

Kit had never seen Ash Morgenstern, but from everyone’s reactions, he assumed that the boy in front of him was who they were looking for. He looked about seventeen years old with pale blond hair and vibrant green eyes. Ash looked as if he had been sculpted of marble, not an imperfection visible aside from the line across his throat. Kit didn’t know if he should be preparing for a fight or not, and the others seemed to be thinking the same thing. Ty’s breathing was more rapid than normal and Kit had to try to focus on the task at hand rather than rush to help Ty. 

Ash broke into a wide grin that looked somewhat out of place on his regal face. “See! I told you it would work!” he told Jace. Jace grimaced in some sort of defeat and patted Ash on the back. This was all becoming far too confusing.

“Jace?” Kit repeated. “What are you doing here? Does Alec know?”

Jace stiffened at the mention of his  _ parabatai _ , but it was Ash who answered, still smiling. “It’s so cool to meet  _ real  _ Shadowhunters! I mean, I guess I’ve met some before, but usually they were trying to kill me, or kidnap me, or they were in a world where Shadowhunters didn’t exist, not the right way. I’m half Shadowhunter! I think. My dad was a Shadowhunter, not that he was much of a dad at all…”

Ash fixed his gaze on Dru, starting when he saw her face. “I know you.”

Kit, Ty, and Jaime whipped their heads to Dru, who tried to cover her blush. Would this day get  _ any _ weirder? Ash was still staring at her but she didn’t respond. He took a piece of paper from his back pocket and unfolded it gently before holding it out to her. Dru crossed the room carefully, never taking her eyes off Ash’s face. Once the paper was in her hand she blinked in surprise.

“Where did you get this?” she asked breathlessly. Kit took that as a cue to join her where she stood, and he looked at the paper over her shoulder. It was a drawing of her, but it looked like it had been done when she was several years younger, likely around the time Kit had first known her. Dru glanced back up at Ash. “You didn’t draw this, did you?”

“No! Of course not. I hardly even know you yet.” Kit furrowed his brows at  _ yet _ . “I found it in Thule.”

“In Thule?” Ty asked, drawing Ash’s attention away from Dru. 

“Yeah,” Ash answered. “Didn’t your Shadowhunters ever make it back to you from there?”

He was talking about Julian and Emma, he had to be. A thought occurred to Kit. “You don’t think… did Julian draw this?” he said, mainly to Dru. Her face went blank, then she smiled faintly. “I think so.”

Ash was still looking at Dru strangely, so Kit cleared his throat. “So. You’re Ash Morgenstern, then.”

Ash nodded. “And you’re Cameron Ashdown?”

Kit debated on whether or not to tell the truth. On one hand, they were technically related, but on the other, Ash was the Seelie Queen’s son. He might tell the Queen the secret Kit had tried so hard to hide. Kit decided to risk it, especially because Jace was there. If things got out of hand, Jace would have his back. 

“Not quite,” he explained. Ash looked at him in confusion. “Promise me that you won’t tell your mother what I’m about to tell you?”

“I promise,” Ash said without hesitation. Ty glanced at Kit, as if he was anticipating what Kit was going to say. He nodded in encouragement. “My name is actually Christopher Herondale. Well, no one calls me that, they call me Kit. Kit Herondale. I’m… kind of related to you.”

Ash perked up. “Like my brother?” 

“No, not quite. I think you’re technically my great great great something or other uncle?” It was still confusing, no matter how many times he tried to think it through. Ash opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by Jace. “Herondale, you say? You lie, there are no other Herondales.”

“Jace. It’s Kit. Hello? You know me. I was at your wedding like, a year ago, and I’ve seen you since then.” Jace’s wedding had been a source of great anxiety for him because Jace had asked him to be one of his groomsmen and Kit hadn’t wanted to go out of fear that Ty would be there. Luckily for him, most of the Blackthorns were unable to attend because of conflicting circumstances, so he was able to enjoy the day and be happy for Clary and Jace. 

Jace was still looking at him with a peculiar light in his golden eyes. Dru leaned in to whisper, “I don’t think that’s our Jace.”

Things started to make more sense. This must be the Thule version of Jace, the one Ash had stayed behind to protect. But why were they both here then? How did they get back? Did Kit even exist in Thule?

“I promise, I’m a Herondale,” Kit said, “You’re from Thule, right? That’s why you don’t recognize me?”

Jace didn’t answer, just blinked slowly. Thule Jace was kind of creepy, and Kit wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He was also now regretting his decision to divulge his heritage to Ash, because this Jace would likely  _ not _ back him in a fight.

“How exactly are we related, then?” Ash responded, drawing Kit’s attention away from Jace. Ash still seemed to be enjoying this conversation, not noticing any tension in the room. 

Kit tried to explain. “I’m a descendant of the First Heir, the child of the Seelie Queen and the Unseelie King. Well, the old Unseelie King now, I guess.”

“So we are like brothers,” Ash said with a smile.

“What? No--”

“But we’re both descended from my mother?”

“Well, yes, but you’re directly descended from her, and I’m not. My mother was named Rosemary Herondale.”

Ash thought about this. “Either way, you can be my brother though, right?”

“No, Ash, I’m not staying here. You can’t tell your mother who I am otherwise she’ll probably have me killed or imprisoned. I don’t want to rule the courts of faerie, I just want to be a Shadowhunter.” Kit could hear his voice straining as he tried to communicate everything properly. He probably should have just left the subject alone. 

Ash lowered his voice and reach out to Kit, dragging him closer and out of the way so the others couldn’t hear. “Me too.”

“What?”

“I don’t want to be here either. I don’t want to be groomed to rule faerie, I want to be a Shadowhunter.”

Kit shook his head in disbelief. “Wait, wait, wait. What? Why did you come  _ here  _ then? You know the Queen will never let you go, you’re her only heir.”

“Not her  _ only _ heir.” Ash gave Kit a pointed look. “Take me home with you.”

“You realize how insane this sounds, right? Kidnap the Seelie Queen’s son and teach him to be a Shadowhunter? There would never be peace between this court and the Shadowhunters again!”

“You wouldn’t be kidnapping me. I want to go,” Ash responded matter of factly. Kit sighed and rubbed his eyes with his hands. “That’s not how your mother will see it. If you leave here, however willingly, with a bunch of Shadowhunters and  _ don’t come back _ she’ll have all our heads.”

Ash scoffed. “I wouldn’t just stroll out of here with you. I would sneak out, and Jace could buy me time so she doesn’t think I’ve gone with you.”

“What do you mean?” Kit asked hesitantly. 

Ash looked hesitant for the first time since they had arrived in the throne room. His bright eyes flicked down to the ground shyly. “I’m different than most faeries-- and Shadowhunters. I can do things they can’t.”

“Sounds familiar,” Kit mumbled to himself as Ash continued.

“You guys didn’t wonder why you were invisible?” Ash sounded genuinely curious. 

“I had kind of forgotten about it, actually, but now that you mention it… That was you?”

Ash nodded. “I can only do up to three or four people at once, depending on my stamina, so it would be best if I only hid myself, but it should work.”

“Where does Jace come into all of this?” Kit still couldn’t understand the connection between Thule Jace and Ash, and didn’t think that if Ash had stayed in a hellish dimension for this Jace he would be in a hurry to abandon him anytime soon. 

“Jace and I have talked about this. He knows what to do. He has to stay here and cover for me until it’s safe, and then he can come join me again.”

“We should probably run through this plan with my friends, I’m not really the leader here,” Kit admitted. He should not be the one to decide what to do with Ash, even if they were distant relatives. Ash smiled again. “I know, but you’re my brother now, so I wanted to talk to you first.”

“Not your brother,” Kit sighed as they moved back over to the others.

Kit tried to explain Ash’s idea to them to the best of his ability, Ash chiming in with some of the smaller details when their faces got too confused. Ty was the only one that seemed to be completely following what was happening, but Ash wouldn’t look away from Dru. Kit raised his eyebrows at Dru as he noticed this, sure she had as well, and she glared at him in return. Jaime was looking between Dru and Ash with some unease as well. 

Jace hadn’t said a word, so Kit addressed him as they finished. “Jace, is this all ok with you? Not that it’s any of my business, but I still don’t understand why you’re even here.”

“You’re right that it is none of your business.” Jace glared at him in a very un-Jacelike fashion. “But I came back for Clary.”

Kit’s stomach dropped. He wasn’t going to try to do anything to Clary, right? 

Jace’s voice broke. “In my world, she died and I-- I couldn’t save her. I want to see her, just once more, to know that she forgives me for what I have done. I wasn’t myself back there. If I was, she wouldn’t be gone, I know it. If I had been stronger everything would have been different.”

“If you stay here you might never see Clary again,” Ty interjected. Jace looked up at him. “I will. Even if it is years from now, I will. I protected Ash in Thule, it was the best I could do to honor Clary, saving her nephew. In return he told me stories of the Clary he knew from your world and he made me a promise that if we ever came back here, he would do everything he could to let me see her one last time. It is why we came to his mother in the first place. I told her I would give her Ash in exchange for Clary Fairchild and she agreed. It has been almost a year now, and she has no intentions to fulfill her end of the bargain anytime soon. Sending Ash on with you is not only what he needs, but what I need. Perhaps he can convince Clary to visit me of her own accord. He can be very convincing when he wishes.”

Jace’s explanation had them all at a loss for words. Ash broke the silence. “So? Will you help me?”

Ty, Dru, and Jaime nodded instantly, which shocked Kit. Shouldn’t they have discussed it first? Jace hit Ash on the arm and Ash smiled guiltily. “Stop that, Ash. Let them come to their own decisions.”

Ash sighed, and as he did Kit’s companions looked as though they had stepped out of a trance. “What did you do to us?” Jaime demanded. 

Ash blushed deeper, but it was Jace who answered, rolling his eyes. “The Unseelie King did a number of things to him in order to make him the perfect ruler. He inspires perfect loyalty amongst his followers when he wishes. He still can’t control it sometimes, but  _ we talked about not using it on our allies _ .”

“It didn’t work on my brother,” Ash pointed out. 

“Not your brother.”

“That might be useful,” Jace said, shooting a pointed look at Ash, “Until you can direct it and control it accurately, it will be good to have someone who is immune to your  _ charm _ .”

Ash nodded reluctantly, but he looked at Kit with hesitation. “Too bad you’re not a Herondale,” Kit said, “No one is immune to  _ my _ charm.”

Jace let out a grunt that may have been an attempt at a laugh. Maybe he had forgotten how while living in a hellish dimension, which seemed justified. “You may be a Herondale after all,” Jace smirked. 

Voices could suddenly be heard, getting closer and closer to the throne room. Ash paled. “Quickly, I can turn you all invisible. Once the doors open, slip out and wait by the tree with the golden leaves, about a mile to the west. I don’t know when I’ll be able to meet you, but it’s a good place to get some rest, you all look exhausted. It’s also close enough, but out of the way enough that my mother will not bother you. Wait for me there, and when I meet you, we can head out.”

The doors began to creak open and Kit saw Dru, Jaime, and Ty vanish in front of him. He could only assume he had vanished as well. “Now go!” Ash hissed quietly, and Kit did what he said, slipping around the Queen and her guards, who had entered the room. The Queen’s face lit up when she saw Ash, but it was a look that made Kit shiver. 

Maybe it was a good thing they were getting him out of there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this has a -102930% chance of happening in twp but let me live with my non evil thule jace and ash 
> 
> find me on tumblr: @ livvyblxckthxrn


	15. Run Boy Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> our squad probably should have realized that leaving faerie is a lot more difficult when you're leaving with the queen's son

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very glad you all love Soft Boy Ash as much as I do :,)

They arrived at the tree Ash had described in a fairly short amount of time, but Kit felt as though his legs were jello anyway. He hadn’t realized just how much ground they had covered without resting. He collapsed on the ground, barely registering Dru’s voice stating that she would take the first watch as he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. 

Kit didn’t know how long he slept, only that when he woke up Dru and Jaime were snoring beside him and Ty was sitting up, silhouetted against the pale glow of the golden leaves of the tree and the stars in the sky. As Kieran had said, the sky was a marvel of light and color, so beautiful it almost drew Kit’s eyes away from Ty. Almost. 

Kit stood up and went to join Ty by the tree. As Ty saw him approach, he scooted over to the side a bit, allowing room for Kit to sit down. “You can get some sleep if you want,” Kit said, taking a seat. They were closer to one another now than they had been in years. 

Ty shook his head, looking back up at the sky. “And miss this?”

Kit drew his eyes up to where Ty was looking with a content smile on his face. He wondered, not for the first time, what it had been like for Mark and Kieran to ride among the stars. When Kit looked back down each color was reflected back in Ty’s luminescent eyes, making a kaleidoscope of light. Kit’s breath hitched as he admired this phenom. 

“You’re staring at me. Why?” Ty asked quietly. Kit shrugged, trying to play it off. “The colors of the stars are reflecting in your eyes.”

Ty’s gaze moved sharply from the sky to Kit. Maybe that hadn’t been very subtle. Ty’s eyes met his, still glowing from the light surrounding them. “They are in yours too.”

Kit blinked rapidly without thinking and Ty drew his eyes away quickly. Their shoulders, which had almost been touching, shrugged away from one another. In a soft voice, Ty said, “The colors show up in your hair too.”

Kit met Ty’s eyes again, forcing himself not to flinch away. If Ty wasn’t going to, he wasn’t either. Absentmindedly, Ty’s hand reached out and touched a lock of Kit’s hair, fingers brushing against his ear. The light tickle sent a shockwave through Kit’s body. Ty seemed to realize what he was doing and lowered his hand, looking away. 

“Sorry,” he said to the ground. 

Kit still hadn’t been able to tear his eyes from Ty. “Don’t be.”

The corner of Ty’s mouth turned up almost imperceptibly. His face was still turned down to the ground, colors of the sky making a galaxy in his own hair. Knowing Ty didn’t like to be touched without permission, and unable to muster up the courage to ask, Kit resisted the overwhelming temptation to replicate Ty’s action, to reach out and touch his hair. 

“So,” Ty said, breaking the silence, voice eerily casual, “Who are you in love with?”

Kit felt like he just just been doused in a bucket of cold water. The energy between the two of them dulled and made the night less magical than it had seemed a moment prior. Kit stumbled over his words. “I’m not-- it’s-- Mark didn’t know what he was talking about.”

Ty tilted his head to face Kit. “No?”

“No.”

“So you’re not in love?”

“It’s just-- it’s complicated, Ty.” Kit didn’t know how to lie to Ty, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to tell the truth either. Ty was still looking at him, gaze trained on his hands. “Then explain it to me. I’m not dumb, you know, just because I don’t think things and feel things like everybody else.”

Kit reached out and clasped Ty’s hands in one swift motion. “I know, Ty, God, I know. You’re smarter than anyone I’ve ever known.”

“I don’t understand what the problem is then. Just explain it to me.” Ty’s eyes were fixed on their intertwined hands, half looking like he wanted to pull away, half looking like the gesture brought him comfort. Kit sighed, releasing Ty’s hands. 

“Well,” he began, when he felt more than saw a presence join them. He jumped to his feet, sure it was either Ash, or an enemy. Ty stood up as well, hands floating to the knives in his jacket. A silver glow washed over them as Livvy floated into their range of vision. Ty relaxed immediately, drawing his hands away from his weapons. 

“Livvy. What-- what are you doing here?” Ty asked. She shifted her gaze from one of them to the other before looking out into the darkness behind her. 

“Ash is coming, he is almost here. You best wake the others and get a head start, it won’t take long for the Queen to realize her prized possession is missing,” she said in a hurried whisper. Then she looked at Kit and, before disappearing to wherever ghosts disappear to, said, “Remember our conversation, Herondale.”

Ty looked at Kit like he wanted to ask what Livvy was referring to, but Kit hurriedly woke up Dru and Jaime to avoid the conversation a little while longer. Dru and Jaime were both a little groggy, which was understandable, but when Kit said Ash was almost there, they woke up immediately. 

Sure enough, a pale blond head could be seen in the distance dashing over to them. Once Ash reached them, he smiled exuberantly. “I’ll turn invisible now, but we can all still talk on the way back to the mortal lands if you want. I want to get to know  _ real _ Shadowhunters better before I become one. Do you think those runes will work on me?”

“Let’s wait to test that theory until we’re out of here safely,” Kit suggested, which Ash accepted with a shrug. A moment later, he blinked out of sight. 

“Can you do that?” Dru asked Kit with some interest. 

“Believe me, if I could do anything interesting I would have bragged about it by now.”

“I’m still here, in case you were wondering!” Ash interjected. “Don’t feel weird because I can see you and you can’t see me!”

Kit saw Jaime stifle a laugh and couldn’t help but exchange a knowing look with him. Ash Morgenstern certainly did not live up to the terror Kit had been anticipating based on what he knew of Valentine and Sebastian. 

The five of them set off back the way they had come, Ty leading the way once more. Kit had worried about how to avoid him while they walked, but his anxiety had proven to be unwarranted, as Ash was keeping him plenty occupied with various questions and fun facts about his life. Most of Ash’s fun facts were horribly depressing, but he told them as if they were just minor inconveniences. 

Ash hadn’t made any further attempts to talk to Dru, though from what Kit could tell, Ash had stayed closest to her as they walked. He didn’t know if anyone else had noticed this, so he decided to keep quiet about it. 

“Sometimes it’s really exhausting,” Ash was saying, “Having people always want to be around you and do what you say  _ all the time _ . I never wanted any of this. I would have been perfectly content without any special abilities. The first thing I’m going to do when I’m a Shadowhunter is find someone who can help me turn my powers off.”

The irony, Kit thought. All Ash wanted to do was stifle his abilities, when Kit had been trying for three years to turn his on. Ash continued, “Where do you all live, then? Is there a special Shadowhunter headquarters, or do you live in normal houses like-- what do you call them again?-- mundanes?”

“It depends,” Kit answered, “Some Shadowhunters live in Institutes, which are basically Shadowhunter headquarters, but there are way more of them than you’d think. There’s probably one in every major city around the whole world. Some choose to live in normal houses away from the Institutes, especially families.”

“Some families, like ours, run the Institutes, so we live there with our whole family,” Dru cut in. “You’re welcome to stay with us at the Los Angeles Institute. We welcome all wayward Shadowhunter-faerie loners. Just ask Kit.”

“To be fair, I wasn’t a Shadowhunter-faerie hybrid at the time,” Kit reasoned, glad Dru wasn’t slipping in any snide comments about how he had left. 

“I mean, you were, you just didn’t know it.”

Ash was silent. Then-- “So you live in Los Angeles with their family, Kit? If you’re there, I want to be there too. I want to live with my brother.”

“Not your brother,” Kit began before he was interrupted by Ty, who turned around to address Ash, regardless of the fact that none of them really knew exactly where he walked beside them. “Kit doesn’t live with us anymore. He lives with a former Silent Brother named Jem and a warlock named Tessa in Devon, England.”

“Is England far from Los Angeles?” Ash inquired innocently. Kit looked at his feet as Ty answered coldly, “Yes.”

“Ty doesn’t live there either.” Kit felt the need to defend himself. “He left when I did, to go to the Scholomance, which is-- eh, nevermind we’ll explain that later. But he studies there, not at the Institute.”

Ty met Kit’s gaze briefly before turning back around. “I graduated in June,” Ty murmured.

Ash, oblivious to this, spoke again with wonder in his voice. “Wow. There is  _ so much _ I don’t know.”

“Don’t worry about it too much, you’ll catch on quickly,” Kit reassured him. Ash laughed enthusiastically. “I’m not worried! I’m excited that there’s a lot I don’t know! It means I have so much to learn!”

Kit and Jaime exchanged glances again, smiling out of the corners of their mouths. A sudden rustling had them all on guard in an instant. A group of four gentry faeries stepped out of the shadows, and Kit had an eerie feeling they had been following them. Based on their attire, Kit also had a feeling they were part of the Queen’s guard.  _ Shit.  _

“Hand Ash over to us now, and there will be no bloodshed. We will not mention to the Queen where we found her child, we will not risk peace between the Shadowhunters and the fair folk,” one of the faeries said, hand on a sword at his side. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kit tried, sounding more confident than he felt. The faerie said nothing at first, considering Kit carefully. 

“We heard you all a moment ago, we know the child is with you. If you do not release him to us we will take action against you. We do not wish to do so, as it would hinder our chances of participation in the musical.”

That damn musical. If they made it out of this alive Kit would have to make sure it actually happened, and would have to thank Emma profusely for inspiring the idea. “Listen,” Kit said, “Even if we knew where Ash was, we wouldn’t hand him over to you. What if you want him to kill him or something?”

The faerie rolled his eyes, a humanlike gesture that caught Kit off guard. “I give you my word he will not be harmed. Us faeries cannot lie, as you have clearly forgotten.”

Dru stepped forward menacingly. “You can’t have him,” she said with steel in her voice. The faerie simply raised his eyebrows before gesturing to the faerie directly to his right. In an instant, she held Ty in her arms, a knife to his throat. 

Dru stepped back in alarm. “Don’t you dare  _ touch  _ him.”

“If you give us what we want, no harm will befall your friend,” the faerie holding Ty stated simply. Dru’s face was paling rapidly and Kit knew she was thinking of Livvy. He was too. 

_ Ash _ , Kit reached out with his mind, hoping a hunch he’d had would prove to be right,  _ Ash, turn Dru and Jaime invisible and get them out of here. I can handle these faeries, but you can’t stay here. It’s best if Dru and Jaime go with you. Stay invisible until you make it back to the Institute, and go as fast as you can. They know the way. _

There was nothing but tense silence for a moment. Dru was getting paler by the minute and Jaime looked entirely out of his depth. Ty was stoic in the faerie’s arms, but his hands were twirling a mile a minute. Just when Kit feared he couldn’t wait any longer, a voice spoke into the depths of his mind.  _ You can do this too? How cool! We can talk like this all the time! _

Kit tried not to be too annoyed.  _ Ash. Did you hear what I said? _

_ Yeah, yeah, turn Jaime and Dru invisible, take them away from here. Don’t stop until we reach the Institute. But what about you? I can’t leave you here. _

_ I’ll catch up with you _ , Kit lied swiftly. He would have to give himself over to the faeries, tell them who he was, but he would do anything for Ty. Besides, maybe he would be able to escape with Jace if they took him to the Queen.

_ Ok, _ Ash agreed finally,  _ See you soon _ . 

It was chaos. Jaime and Dru were there one second, gone the next. Kit thought he heard Dru’s voice call out in indignance before immediately quieting. The four faeries were alert in an instant, shouting into the blank spaces where Dru and Jaime were seconds ago. The faerie holding Ty turned to Kit, knife digging into Ty’s neck, so close to breaking skin. “What did you do? Where did they go?”

Kit feigned surprise. “I have no idea! I thought that was you guys!”

Ty’s gray eyes were becoming wider and wider with each passing second, pupils contracting in fear. Kit tried to convey to him that everything would be all right, but Ty wasn’t paying attention. 

“The child is no longer here, I can sense it,” the first faerie said, “You realize you have just doomed your friend?”

“Wait!” Kit cried, just as the faerie holding Ty’s knife was poised to strike true. “Maybe you won’t have Ash, but I’ll exchange myself for him.”

“And what would we want with you?” the first faerie snarled. Ty appeared to put the pieces of Kit’s plan together at that moment. He wriggled against the faerie holding him. “Kit, no, don’t do this!”

Kit took a deep breath. “I can’t tell you everything right now, you’ll just have to take my word for it. I promise I’ll tell you everything once you take me to the Queen. She’ll want me more than anything.”

The faerie looked at him slowly. He raised his hand to the faerie holding Ty and she released him. Ty was still breathing too fast, his body incredibly tense. Kit nearly sagged in relief. Everything would be ok, Ty would be safe. He only hoped the others hadn’t gotten too far that Ty would be able to catch up swiftly. Seeing Kit’s palpable relief, the faerie grinned wickedly. “Did you really think we would fall for that performance? Lysido, kill him.”

Kit prepared himself to fight when he realized the faerie-- Lysido-- wasn’t coming for him. Ty didn’t even have time to reach for his weapons, for anything that might save him, as she moved quick as the wind, plunging her knife to his chest. 

“No!” Kit yelled and felt a surge of something beneath his skin. He reached out to Ty, grabbing his wrist as Lysido’s blade touched the cloth above his heart. 

The world turned white and Kit felt a tug in the pit of his stomach. He held on to Ty’s wrist as tightly as he could, eyes screwed shut.  _ Ty couldn’t be dead, Ty couldn’t be dead, Ty couldn’t be dead _ . 

He felt himself fall to the ground and opened his eyes hesitantly, the world was still brighter than it should have been, but something had changed. Before he could pinpoint what it was, he felt Ty’s wrist slip from his hand and barely had time to whisper, “No!” before he was pulled into darkness and could no longer feel a thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @ livvyblxckthxrn


	16. I'm Not In Love

When the world came back into focus, Kit was bombarded by the sight of wide gray eyes looking down at him. Once Kit’s own eyes were fully open, a spark lit up Ty’s gray eyes as they crinkled at the sides in relief. Before Kit knew what was happening, Ty’s arms were around him, pulling him into a hug. He melted into the touch, wrapping his own arms around Ty. They sat like that for a minute until Kit realized where they were.

He let go of Ty quickly and reopened his eyes, looking around the familiar room. “Are we…?”

“In Devon? I think so,” Ty said incredulously. It sure appeared that they were sitting in the living room of Kit’s home with Jem, Tessa, and Will. Kit was lying down on the couch in the center of the room and Ty was perched at his side. 

Kit rubbed his eyes. “But how… how did we get here? You… you’re not dead!”

“Nope,” Ty smiled, “Not even a little bit. You saved me, Kit.”

He had saved Ty? The last thing he remembered was Lysido’s knife plunging towards Ty’s chest and the blinding panic he had felt in that moment. He told Ty this and Ty began to fill him in. 

“The moment her knife touched me, it sort of… dissolved. Then she dissolved. The other faeries too. Before I could understand what was happening, you gripped my arm and I felt like I was being sucked into a portal. Next thing I knew, we were lying right outside here, in the grass. Your eyes were glazed over, but moving a mile a minute, and you were burning up. I tried to talk to you, but you passed out. I thought you died. So I brought you in here, hoping it was empty, and found out it was your house. I put iratzes on you, but I didn’t know if you would wake up,” Ty explained.

“How long was I out?”

“About two and a half days,” Ty said calmly, but Kit could tell it was taking every ounce of his restraint to maintain a guise of serenity. “How did you do that? Did you transport us here?”

Kit sat up, head pounding. “I guess so? I have no idea how I did it. Wait, where are Jem and Tessa? And Will?”

Ty frowned. “I don’t know. I was wondering that too. Both of our phones fried in the midst of whatever you did, so I don’t even know what day it is. Did you know you don’t have any calendars here?”

Kit shrugged. His head was still throbbing and his chest was tight with the remnants of an earlier pain. He wondered if Ash, Dru, and Jaime had made it to safety. He hoped they had. “I guess we’re stuck here, then.”

“I guess so,” Ty agreed, “I was going to try to find a way to contact everyone, but I didn’t want to leave in case something happened to you. Maybe once you feel a little bit better we could walk to a phone booth or something. I have everyone in my family’s phone numbers memorized.”

Kit nodded noncommittally, more distracted by the fact that he and Ty would be alone for an indeterminate amount of time than figuring out what to do next. He looked over at Ty, who looked fairly well put together for having just escaped faerie. Kit was almost certain he himself looked about as good as he felt. Ty pulled on the hem of his t shirt absentmindedly, which was a little short on him. 

“Are you wearing one of my shirts?” Kit asked. Ty’s cheeks got pink near the top. 

“I’m- I’m sorry. My clothes were- uh- they were a little burnt? I had to shower and change, but I didn’t- I didn’t have clothes,” Ty stuttered. Kit had to try ignore the way Ty wearing his clothes was making him feel, so he inquired, “Burned? How did that even happen?”

Ty shrugged. “Your faerie magic, I guess. Yours are burned too, but I didn’t want to try to… uh, you know. I figured you could shower and change when you woke up.” 

Kit looked down at himself and realized his gear was dissolved in some places. He had been strategically covered by Ty with a blanket, but saw that both his sleeves, half of one of his pant legs, and a portion of his chest gear had been destroyed. “I should go shower,” he laughed. 

Ty said nothing, but got up to make room for Kit to get up and go into the bathroom. When Kit closed the door, Ty was staring determinedly at the photographs that filled the room of Jem, Tessa, Kit, Will, and some of Jem and Tessa’s other friends. 

Kit took a lengthy shower, letting the steam build around him as he tried to think of what they would do next. Surely Jem and Tessa would come back here shortly? He still didn’t know where they might be, and hoped they were all right. Once out of the shower he threw on a Star Wars t shirt that Jem had gotten him and a pair of jeans, noticing his favorite pair was missing. 

Sure enough, when he went back into the living room, Ty was standing by the window, skinny ankles exposed by his too short jeans. Ty caught Kit looking and said hurriedly, “I didn’t know where your other pants were and I didn’t want to go through all your things--”

“It’s fine, I can grab you something else if you want,” Kit cut him off, but Ty just shook his head. They both stood in awkward silence, not looking at one another, the only sound being the clock ticking on the wall. Kit had tried to use his computer to check the date or get in contact with anyone when he changed, but remembered too late he had brought it to LA and it was likely still there, along with some of his other belongings. 

Perhaps it was because he had been thinking of computers, but Kit thought of Livvy then, and what she had said to him in LA and in faerie. He thought of Alec and Magnus and their advice, as well as Kieran. He figured he had nothing to lose, so he asked, “Who did you lose, Ty?”

Ty looked at him sharply, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“I spoke with Livvy, back at the Institute. She said you’d gone through something, felt the loss of someone close to you, but it wasn’t her.” Kit didn’t know what kind of answer he was looking for, maybe he wasn’t even looking for an answer, but he wanted to know why Livvy was so mad at him. 

“Seriously, Kit? That’s not funny.”

“I’m not trying to be funny.”

Ty’s eyes took on the same furious light they had in faerie and he began pacing the short length of the room. He mumbled something Kit couldn’t make out, so Kit asked, “What?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Yes, you did, what did you say?”

Ty shook his head, pacing faster, and bit his lip. “ _ You  _ left.”

Kit blinked. Clearly he had misheard again. “What?” he repeated.

“You left, Kit! You left me!” Ty never raised his voice, but he was approaching a heightened volume. Kit quickly spoke to try to calm him. “Woah, woah, didn’t we already talk about that though? I said I was sorry for not saying goodbye. I should have let you know I was leaving, but you’re fine without me. I was the one who needed you, but I’m over that now.”

Kit realized his words were harsh when Ty halted his pacing and widened his eyes. They lost their furious glimmer and filled with an inexplicable emotion. In an instant the look went away and Ty strode right up to Kit, looking slightly above his head instead of directly in his eyes. 

“Why do you keep saying things like that! Who said that you meant nothing to me?  _ You _ were the one who left  _ me _ , Kit. I’ve tried to be fine, but if I didn’t have Livvy, I don’t know--” he broke off, “I don’t know if I would have survived.”

Kit was getting angry, the feeling overcoming him all of a sudden. “You shouldn’t have had Livvy at all! It’s terrible that she died, and I haven’t gone a single day without thinking about it, but it happened. You can’t keep living like this, tricking yourself into believing her alive because you fucked around with something you never should have and got her back!”

“If you didn’t want me to do it, you should have said something!”

“I tried to! I really tried, but then you would have done it anyway, wouldn’t you? Just without me. It was selfish of me, but I couldn’t stand that thought. That you might drop me if I didn’t go along with your insane plan.” The look on Ty’s face told Kit that what he said was true, so he plowed on, unable to stop the words that had been begging to burst free for years. He was vaguely aware that he was yelling now. “And I  _ did _ try to stop you! I tried when it really mattered, but you ignored me. You wouldn’t listen to a word I said. That was when I knew I was nothing to you. I told you I  _ loved  _ you and you said nothing Ty!”   

Ty looked him in the eyes finally. “I just…” his voice broke, then raised to match Kit’s, “I didn’t know why it changed anything, that you loved me. People love each other all the time, but that doesn’t mean they get to dictate what other people do just because they love them! I don’t understand why ‘I love you’ is an excuse for anything!”   

“I’d never told anyone I loved them before, except my dad! I never had a reason to. But you were different for me, Ty. I wasn’t even sure if I was  _ in _ love with you then, but I loved you nonetheless, like you and your family all love each other. You take love for granted because you can. It’s not an excuse for you because you’ve been surrounded by love your whole life. Before Jem and Tessa I haven’t ever had a single person in my life who has loved me. Not even my dad, not really. Do you know how that feels? When you dismissed my words I felt my worst fears validated. I wasn’t worthy of love, wasn’t worthy to love others.” Kit was fully shouting now, not caring if he was hurting Ty’s feelings, not caring about anything. Ty needed to know how Kit felt, needed to understand why he had left. Not everything could always be the world according to Ty.

Ty looked like he had been stunned to the point of silence. His eyes filled with tears, a sight Kit had only seen once before, when he had told Ty he wished he had never known him. But Kit’s eyes were full of tears too, a few escaping down his cheeks. He finished ruefully, voice quieter and steadier than before, “I thought I was in love with you for so long, Ty, but I realize now that I’m in love without you, and I have been for too long. I don’t want to be in love without you anymore.” 

A single tear escaped from Ty’s left eye, carving a delicate path down his pale face. Their faces were close enough that they could hear each other’s ragged breaths. 

Kit was so distracted by the relief that had followed his release of emotions that he didn’t notice when Ty’s gaze moved to his lips, didn’t notice when Ty took a shaky breath, didn’t notice when Ty’s eyes fluttered closed, then open again, didn’t notice when Ty closed the short distance between the two of them, didn’t notice anything until Ty’s lips were pressed to his and the world ceased to exist.

 

☆ ☆ ☆

 

It was like flying, like standing on the edge of a cliff with the wind in your hair and the spray of the ocean misting your cheeks. It was everything and it was nothing. It was a moment contained in a single instant in time and space and it was a moment that was infinite. Tiberius Blackthorn’s lips were on Kit’s. Tiberius Blackthorn’s hands were on his hips, pulling him closer. Tiberius Blackthorn’s eyes were closed, dark spray of eyelashes brushing his pale cheeks in a delicate manner. 

Not that Kit noticed any of this, because Christopher Herondale’s lips were on Ty’s. Christopher Herondale’s hands were roaming, one on the back of Ty’s neck, one making its way through Ty’s hair. Christopher Herondale’s eyes, which had been wide open in shock, were now pressed closed in what could only be described as complete and utter passion. 

It was a jumble of lipshandstonguesbodies, of iloveyoutyiloveyouiloveyoutyiloveyou. Everything Kit had hungered to say had been said and finally,  _ finally _ , he understood what Ty had been trying to say back. The hunger and passion in the kiss told Kit everything he needed to know, everything that he had misunderstood for so long. It told him that he had been missed by Ty more than he thought, that Ty had cared for him after all. It told him that maybe Ty’d had to take more time for his feelings, but that shouldn’t negate the fact that he did feel something now.   

When they finally broke apart Ty’s eyes were alight with a certain kind of energy that almost knocked the breath out of Kit. Why were the blue eyes most of the family shared considered the beautiful Blackthorn eyes when Ty’s silver eyes were much more stunning?  _ These should be the new Blackthorn eyes _ , Kit thought. Kit realized then that Ty was looking into his eyes as intensely as he was into Ty’s. 

“Is this ok?” Ty whispered, lips brushing against Kit’s as he spoke, their foreheads pressing into one another. Kit nodded lightly, still in a daze, lips tingling. Ty’s mouth relaxed into the softest smile Kit had ever seen and Kit pulled him closer, closer, until their mouths met again, matched so perfectly as if they had been made exactly for that purpose. 

Ty’s fingers danced along Kit’s spine, making him shiver, before pausing at the hem of his shirt. Kit opened his eyes to see Ty looking at him quizzically, as if asking permission. Their lips parted as Ty asked, “Is this--?”

“Yes,” Kit breathed, “Yes, yes, one thousand times yes.”

That was all Ty needed. They kissed again, with as much passion as before, and Ty’s hands explored the skin on Kit’s stomach, working their way up to his ribcage before coming back down and tugging at Kit shirt, which he removed in one swift motion and tossed aside. When had Ty become this smooth? Kit grinned, breaking away from Ty only long enough to replicate the motion and remove Ty’s shirt before sinking back into the boy he loved.

Without the layer of cloth between them, Kit could feel Ty’s racing heart beating against his own, felt the warmth of their bodies as they pressed against one another. He pulled Ty to him as Ty pushed into him and they stumbled backward until they hit what Kit thought was a wall but ended up being Kit’s poorly closed bedroom door that swung open as Kit’s weight was pushed into it. 

They both stumbled, Ty barely catching Kit before he fell. “I think I just fell for you,” Kit said seriously, biting his lip to keep from smiling. Ty’s mouth twitched and his brows creased slightly like he was trying to decide whether or not Kit was joking as he pulled Kit upright. 

They both burst into laughter and Kit buried his head into Ty’s bare chest, breathing in the his entire essence. Ty brought his hand up and tilted Kit’s head up to meet his gaze. They stared at each other for a moment, entirely comfortable in each other’s presence. Kit was intimately aware that the two of them were standing alone in the middle of Kit’s bedroom. Ty’s eyes suddenly widened and he released a confused Kit.

“By the angel, I didn’t even-- you’re-- I know you said it was complicated but-- you-- you love someone, right?” Ty wrung his hands in a flustered motion. Kit, who had been worried Ty had begun to regret everything, tried to keep the laughter from his voice as he grabbed Ty’s hands. 

“Um, yeah.  _ You _ , dummy, I thought that was clear?” he said and Ty’s expression went from fear to comprehension to bright red in embarrassment. Ty let out a gentle laugh. “Oh. Right. That’s-- right. Sorry. I--”

Kit didn’t even give him time to finish before pulling Ty’s mouth down to his once more, stepping forward and forward as Ty stepped back and back. Ty was backed up to the edge of Kit’s bed now, but Kit didn’t want to push anything that might be out of Ty’s comfort, so he stayed there, moving kisses around Ty’s jaw and down his neck. Ty gripped the back of Kit’s neck tighter and, in one whirlwind movement, spun and pushed him down so Kit was lying down on the bed, Ty holding himself up with his hands above him. 

Kit readjusted his position slightly and brought Ty closer to him, hands wrapping around Ty’s surprisingly muscled back. “How are you so good at this?” Kit whispered and was immediately embarrassed, heat creeping up his face. 

Ty laughed gently into his neck, placing a kiss on his collarbone. “I have no idea what I’m doing,” Ty admitted with a sheepish grin, which only made Kit love him even more. Breathing heavily, Kit dug his fingers into Ty’s back, arching his own in an effort to get closer closer closer. He kissed Ty’s bare collarbone more times than he could count, and Ty responded by kissing all over his face, his forehead, his eyelids, his nose, his mouth. 

Kit didn’t know how long they spent there, kissing like the world was going to end, but he relished in each and every second of it. Ty’s hands came to rest at Kit’s hips and his hands traced the waistband of Kit’s jeans hesitantly. He confessed slowly, “I’m not sure I’m ready for… everything.”

Kit sat up slightly, immediately alert. “That’s perfectly ok. More than ok. I don’t know if I’m ready either, and when we do…  _ if _ we do, I want us to be absolutely certain.” He brushed a hand through Ty’s silken hair, and smiled. “All that matters to me right now is that we’re together.”

Ty smiled in return. “We’re together,” he repeated. Ty kissed him once more before collapsing on the bed beside Kit. He turned his head so they could look at one another.

“I love you, Tiberius,” Kit said. When Ty’s eyes flitted away from his he continued, “You don’t have to say it back to me, I don’t expect you to at all, but I want you to know that I love you like I’ve never loved anyone before. I love you like I love the stars in the sky or the feeling of wind in my hair. I love you like Watson loves Holmes, well, at least, how Watson loves Holmes in various fanfictions, not that I’ve read them or anything.”

Ty breathed out a short giggle at that, bringing one hand up to touch Kit’s face. Kit’s voice lowered inadvertently to a low whisper, barely audible but filled with every ounce of love and passion his body contained. “But most of all I just love you for who you are, Tiberius. I love everything about you.”

They laid silently for a while, gazing into one another’s eyes, into one another’s souls, into one another’s hearts. Kit was drifting off into sleep when he heard Ty murmur something in a soft jumble that sounded like, “Yielkserdie, Christopher.”

He didn’t know what it meant, or if Ty had meant to say anything at all, but hugged Ty a little closer, feeling at peace for the first time in longer than he could remember. When sleep tugged at him, he welcomed it, knowing that everything would be fine as long as he had Ty beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been my favorite chapter to write so far so I hope you enjoyed it :))))
> 
> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


	17. Alternate Worlds (Alternate Age)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> our bois get a surprise visitor ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love on the last chapter I had so much fun writing it! And thank you for sticking with me all this way!

“Interesting.”

A voice drew Kit from his slumber. He opened his eyes wearily as his hands touched something soft and he felt a heat pressed against his chest. His heart clenched with overwhelming love as he realized Ty was still curled against him, hands wrapped around one another, bare legs tangled together. They had both slipped out of their jeans at some point in the night, wholly comfortable in this vulnerability with one another. Kit was looking lovestruck at the boy in his arms when he remembered the voice and stiffened, head popping up in alarm. 

When he saw who was standing in the doorway to his bedroom he quickly untangled himself from Ty and scooted to the opposite side of the bed, as if that would help anything. Ty woke then, looking at Kit in confusion, and then at their guest, immediately reddening and jumping out of bed before realizing he was only wearing his underwear. 

Magnus Bane lounged lazily against the doorframe, cat eyes flicking back and forth between the two of them in amusement. “I’ve already walked in on a Herondale and a Blackthorn post sex, I suppose it’s only fitting I walk in on a Herondale  _ with  _ a Blackthorn this time.”

“I-- we didn’t--” Kit stumbled over his words. Magnus waved a hand in dismissal. 

“Regardless,” Magnus continued, “Your families will be glad to know you aren’t dead in faerie.”

Ty had located Kit’s pants drawer and pulled on a pair of joggers that were still a little short on him, but fit well enough and was now scanning the room for a shirt. Kit was still frozen in bed. Magnus cocked his head at Ty. “Looking for your shirt? There are a couple scattered on the floor in the living room…”

Ty reddened once more and shot a furtive glance at Kit, which broke Kit out of his stupor. He made his way over to his closet and tossed Ty a t shirt that was slightly long on him, which Ty returned with a grateful smile. Magnus humored them by turning around as they finished putting clothes on. 

“Dru, Jaime, and Ash, are they ok?” Kit asked breathlessly, once he was fully clothed. Magnus took that as a cue to turn back around and nodded. “They made it to us completely unharmed. Drusilla was quite angry with Ash for taking her and Jaime away, especially once you and Tiberius failed to catch up to them. They made it back to LA as swiftly as possible, which was considerably swifter than normal, due to the assistance of Ash’s abilities. Once they were back at the Institute and realized you both  _ weren’t _ , Jem, Tessa, Alec, and, I portaled to Los Angeles to help figure things out. Will is there too, but since he is a toddler, he wasn’t much help.” 

“So how-- why--” Ty began, “How did you know we were here?”

Magnus shrugged. “We didn’t. Jem and Tessa left to consult with various downworld outposts about rumors of where you might have disappeared to, and Alec and Mark went to the Unseelie King. Julian is in a right state, but we didn’t need him to do anything, which undoubtedly is making his stress worse, so I was left on babysitter duty until Alec, Jem, or Tessa returned. A waste of my abilities, if I do say so myself, but I’ve dealt with my fair share of stressed Shadowhunters over the years. Will began crying not last night about a toy from home he had forgotten and absolutely  _ needed _ , so I promised him I would come here in the morning to retrieve it. Sure enough, I leave this morning, and what do I find but the two Shadowhunters everyone has been raising a fuss about, looking like no one need have worried at all.” 

He raised an eyebrow at the two of them accusingly. Kit blushed as Ty covered his torso with his arms, even though he was now fully clothed. “We couldn’t get in contact with anyone because our phones fried when we came here from faerie,” Kit explained in a rush. Ty nodded quickly in agreement. 

“And how exactly  _ did _ the two of you arrive here from faerie? How did you escape the Queen’s guard? Drusilla informed us only of what transpired when Ash spirited her and Jaime away from you two, not of how Ash came to be in your company nor how you got to the Queen in the first place,” Magnus inquired with genuine interest. Kit met Ty’s eyes across the room and the two of them burst into laughter. It all seemed so ridiculous, that they had been successful on their mission to faerie because of the power of musicals and Kit’s usually inaccessible powers.

Once he was able to catch his breath, Kit confessed, “I think we should save that story until we’re back at the Institute. I’m not even sure I believe it yet.”

With a dismissive wave of his hand, Magnus exited the room, Kit and Ty following him hurriedly. On the way past Will’s room, Kit ducked in to grab the toy Magnus had come to retrieve, and when he emerged into the living room Magnus was going about creating a portal. While Magnus worked, Kit sidled up beside Ty and stood on his toes to whisper, “Not quite how I would have preferred to wake up next to you, but then again, when has anything in my life gone according to plan?”

Ty blushed and huffed out a small laugh that warmed Kit from his fingers to his toes. When Magnus turned around to find Ty blushing and Kit looking at him with a completely lovestruck expression he sighed impatiently. The two of them immediately shot apart again.

“At least you’re not  _ parabatai  _ this time,” Magnus said cheerfully, ushering Ty through the portal. As Kit was about to step through behind Ty, Magnus held him back for a moment with a knowing look. “It seems Alexander and I have a future in matchmaking,” Magnus said with a cocky grin. 

“Shut up,” Kit said, but he was grinning as well. 

“I told you from the start I was team Kitty.” Magnus shrugged his shoulders innocently. Rolling his eyes, Kit stepped through the portal, smile refusing to leave his face. Why should it? He’d held Ty’s face in his hands and told him he loved him. He’d kissed Ty and they had slept side by side in perfect tranquility. Even jokes from Magnus couldn’t dampen his spirit.

Emerging from the portal Kit’s eyes found Ty right away, the latter of whom looked up briefly from where he was entangled in a Blackthorn family hug to give Kit a soft smile that was meant only for him. 

To Kit’s surprise, Jem, Tessa, and Will were waiting to tangle him in their own, smaller, but no less loving hug. Will, who probably hadn’t realized anything was amiss, clung to Kit regardless, small face beaming. Tessa pulled back and held Kit’s face in her hands, considering him slowly. He was almost positive he was still grinning like an idiot. 

“Are you all right?” she asked warily. He fought to contain his smile and looked into her caring gray eyes, a different gray than Ty’s, but still beautiful in the way that everything about Tessa was beautiful. He sighed dramatically. “Yes mom,” he teased.

Jem smiled beside him. “Thank the angel the faeries didn’t knock the sarcasm out of you.”

“What good would a Herondale be without it?” Kit pretended to be offended, but Jem just gave him a fist bump and answered, “Not a Herondale I wish to know.”

“I hate to interrupt, but these two have some explaining to do. Where the hell were you guys? How did Magnus find you?,” Julian said sternly, an act that would have been more convincing if he wasn’t still looking at Ty as though the sun shone out of his every pore. Wait… did Kit look at Ty like that? How had the whole world not realized he was in love with him? He thanked the angel for that small miracle. 

“We were in Devon,” Kit said and saw a glimmer of confusion go through everyone before realizing not everyone was there. “Where are Dru and Jaime? And Ash?” he asked, looking around the room. Panic spiked in his chest. “They’re not-- they’re ok? Right? Magnus said they were ok.”

“Oh, they’re just showing Ash around the Institute,” Emma clarified, and Kit let out a sigh of relief. Magnus had said they were unharmed, but he wouldn’t believe it until he saw it. “They’ll be down in a moment, I’m sure,” she continued. 

As if on cue, Ash, Jaime, and Dru burst into the room. Dru looked from Ty to Kit as if she couldn’t believe they were real. Jaime’s face crumpled in apparent relief when he saw them. Dru hugged Ty tighter than Kit thought was humanly possible before releasing him and turning to Kit. he smiled meekly at her, but was unsurprised when she punched him hard in the stomach. 

“I deserve that,” he admitted before pulling her into a hug. She scoffed, “You can’t just do things like that Christopher! We all thought you’d died!”

“Christopher?”

“That is  _ so  _ not what you should be focusing on right now!”

Dru paused in her tirade when she saw Ash standing beside her looking at Kit expectantly. “Are you all right, brother?” he asked cheerfully. 

Kit barely had a chance to eek out a small, “Not your brother,” before Ash enveloped him in a tight hug. Emma met Kit’s dumbfounded gaze with raised eyebrows until Ash released him. 

“I’m gonna need the full story on that,” she said to him in a conspiratorial whisper. He sighed. “You and everyone else.”

“Shall we all go somewhere more comfortable? I presume this story will have many twists and turns,” Magnus interrupted with a glimmer in his eye. Kit shot him a look, which Magnus returned innocently. It was clearly not a face that came naturally to him. Julian nodded and led them all into the library, which had always been the location for discussions of this nature. 

Once properly seated, Kit began to tell the story of their journey into faerie, as Dru and Jaime had not done so yet for reasons unknown. They did chime in helpfully with various details every once and a while, especially when he got around to talking about the run in with Ronireth. 

“Wait, let me get this straight. You escaped a group of faeries by singing a song from Les Misérables to them?” Aline asked incredulously. Kit nodded, turning to Alec, “By the way, you should send delegations to inquire after the warlocks, vampires, Unseelie Court, and werewolves about if they would want to participate in a musical with the Nephilim. The Seelie Court is on board as long as every type of downworlder is represented.”

“I’m… sorry?” Alec cocked his head as if he had misheard. Kit explained what they had promised the Seelie Queen in order to entertain an audience with her and watched as nearly everyone's faces shifted from confusion to utter bewilderment. 

“So,” Alec clarified, “All I have to do is put together a downworlder-Shadowhunter production of Les Misérables and there will be peace, or at least open communication, between the Seelie Court and the Clave?”

“Pretty much. I’m sure the other downworlders would agree to the same.”

Alec shook his head in disbelief. “You all just accidentally happened to fix the Clave’s relationship with the Seelie Court?”

The four of them shrugged as Alec put his face in his hands, small smile on his face. “Unbelievable,” he whispered, “Do go on.”

This was where their explanation got tricky. Once they mentioned what Ash had done, turning them invisible to talk to them, Emma and Julian both perked up and paled at the mention of Thule Jace. 

“You can’t trust him,” Julian argued once Kit finished describing their conversation and what Jace had said about why he came back and what he came back for. 

“Maybe not,” Kit agreed, “But he did help us escape, so I feel like we owe it to him to return the favor.”

Julian looked like he wanted to argue but was cut off by Emma, who placed a hand on his arm. “We can discuss that later, perhaps in the company of  _ real _ Jace and Clary. This concerns them too. What I want to know right now is how Ash and Jace even got back here from Thule.”

Everyone turned to Ash expectantly. His green eyes widened as he realized everyone was waiting to listen to him. He had taken it upon himself to rearrange out of order books while they talked, and put down the stack he was working on reluctantly to address them all. “I didn’t do it, if that’s what you’re thinking. Jace didn’t either. Neither of us were really in any hurry to leave. Ever since Emma killed my fa-- Sebastian, things had gotten better. A girl named Livia, who basically ran the rebellion against him, learned the name of the Unseelie King and was able to control him in a way that benefited everyone in the Shadow world. When we were taken away things were just starting to look like they might be all right.”

At the mention of Livvy all of the Blackthorns had flinched and grabbed whoever was closest to them. Kit looked to Ty to see how he had reacted and saw Ty looking back at him. Ty slipped his headphones over his ears, and Kit nodded to him in understanding. 

“What do you mean ‘when you were taken away’?” Cristina asked from where she sat beside Mark. He had reacted the least to the mention of Livvy, but Kit could see the sorrow in his eyes all the same, exacerbated by their multicolored nature. 

“We did not come back of our own volition,” Ash continued warily, “We were with Livia when it happened. She had requested our presence to see how we might be dealt with as known conspirators to Sebastian. It all happened so quickly. Some sort of portal opened up, but it didn’t look like any portal I’d seen before. Livia started to get pulled through, so Jace and I fought to pull her back, but we ended up getting swept into the portal instead. Next thing we knew, we were in your world. I recognized it, but Jace didn’t. That was when he suggested we go to the Seelie Queen, my mother, and I agreed.”

Ash’s story had left the room in a silence so deep Kit avoided breathing in fear of making too much noise. He avoided Magnus and Dru’s gazes, sure they were putting together the pieces he was. Ty still had his headphones on, but Kit was sure he had been listening. He avoided looking to Ty as well, fearing what sort of expression the other boy would be wearing. Kit suddenly felt fifteen again, a ghostly imitation of Livvy hovering above Lake Lyn telling him and Ty that there would be consequences to their actions, that a hole had been ripped between worlds. Had Thule Livvy been the only one targeted, or were there other parallel Livvys that had been sucked into their world?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It wouldn't be a Shadowhunter story if they weren't walked in on by Magnus
> 
> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


	18. Infections Of A Different Kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> church the cat makes a long awaited appearance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously cannot mention enough how much all the comments/ kudos/ interactions with me on tumblr about this fic mean to me! Thank you all so much! I hope you continue to enjoy!

“That’s pretty much everything that happened to me until Kit, Dru, Jaime, and Ty came to take me away,” Ash finished, noting the uneasy looks on everyone’s faces. Kit was positive he, Ty, Magnus, and maybe Dru were the only ones who had fully put together the possible implications of Ash’s words, but the others seemed similarly affected. They had just learned that they had almost gotten their sister back, only to have her left behind once more, even if she was in a world that she would be better off in. 

“So, what made you change your mind about staying with your mother?” Kit tried to ask as casually as he could to maintain any sense of normalcy. Magnus had an uncharacteristically pale pallor to his face and a haunted look in his cat eyes when they met Kit’s briefly. Kit looked away guiltily. Thankfully, Ash picked up Kit’s question without hesitation. “She told me she loved me every single day, told me how much I meant to her. I thought it was nice at first, my father had never treated me as anything other than a convenient weapon or last resort.” A shadow crossed his face. “But she didn’t care either. She just wanted me so no one else would have me. She wanted me to carry out all her bidding for her and be her perfect little soldier to employ wherever and whenever she wanted to.”

Ash had a tear in his eye, which seemed to snap everyone else from the daze. “I couldn’t live like that,” Ash admitted softly, tear slipping down his cheek. “So I made Jace tell me about Shadowhunters, what they were supposed to be. I’m part Shadowhunter, after all, so I figured it was my right to know. At night I dreamt of a world where I could fight demons alongside friends, dreamt of having friends other than Jace, if he could even be considered such. When Kit and the others showed up, I knew it was my only opportunity to chase a life I’d begun to dream of.”

Emma, surprisingly, held out her arms and folded Ash into a hug. She was the only one besides the four that had taken him from faerie that Ash seemed to be inclined to trust easily. 

“That’s one mystery solved, but I still want to know how these two ended up in Devon, of all places, and how they got separated from the others in the first place,” Julian prompted gently. Ash pulled himself away from Emma and looked to Kit expectantly, so Kit carried on with what happened after they left the Seelie Court, leaving out his and Ty’s conversation under the golden leafed tree. He told them how the Queen’s guard had caught up to them and how he had spoken into Ash’s mind and convinced him to take Dru and Jaime to safety, leaving the faeries for him to deal with. Tessa looked intrigued when Kit spoke of he and Ash’s telepathic communication, but said nothing of it.  

Kit received many exasperated looks when he explained how his initial plan had been to hand himself over to the Seelie Queen in exchange for Ty. Tessa looked at him with as much contempt as she could muster, which made Kit feel guilty for even considering doing such a thing. He tried to explain what had happened next, Ty’s near brush with death followed by his inexplicable act of power. Ty took over then, explaining why they hadn’t been able to contact anyone once they were in Devon, how he had waited, sure Kit was dead. 

“Kit woke up yesterday, but was still too weak to go out and find a way to contact you all, or even see what day it was, so we waited the night out at the house, alternating taking watch to make sure no faeries had followed us,” Ty concluded and Kit was once again impressed by the swiftness with which Ty had lied, especially to his family. The color had come back to Magnus’ face and the pointed looks he was giving to the two of them didn’t seem to be doing much to keep the color out of their own faces. 

“I think that’s enough for the time being, yes?” Magnus stood up and brushed nonexistent dust from his wildly patterned pants. “Kit and Ty look exhausted, I’m sure neither of them got much sleep last night.” Ty coughed in a flustered manner, and it took all of Kit’s self restraint not to smile at how cute Ty looked when he was flustered. 

Julian nodded immediately. “Of course. Go get some rest. We’ve got the general idea, and I’m sure Dru and Jaime will be more than happy to answer any other questions we might have now that we know you’re both safe.”

Kit and Ty both nodded and smiled gratefully before exiting the library, the others still talking as they closed the doors and headed down the hall. Their hands brushed against one another as they walked, but Kit couldn’t be sure if it was an accident or not. It certainly wasn’t from his end. He wondered if the two of them should talk about Livvy and the possible implications of their attempts at necromancy, but when he saw Ty’s face, he faltered. Ty looked every bit as exhausted as Julian had said, but also had a faint air of contentment about him.

They looked at each other for a moment as they walked when, without warning, Ty grabbed the front of Kit’s shirt and pulled him into the room to their right, which happened to be a pantry, barely waiting a moment before kissing him until he forgot all about his worries. This time Kit had Ty pressed against the wall, rising up slightly on his toes to even the height gap between the two of them. A small noise sounded and they stumbled back from one another immediately, looking fearfully for the source of the noise. 

Church sat on one of the shelves, judgemental look in his eyes. Apparently Jem and Tessa had brought the cat with them when they came to the Institute, something Kit should have noticed before now. He felt kind of guilty for not realizing Church hadn’t been in the house all of the day before, but he’d had other things on his mind. Kit pressed his head against Ty’s chest and laughed in exasperation. “Just our luck,” he murmured, feeling the rise and fall of Ty’s chest as he laughed too. 

It seemed the cat had broken the spell that had overcome them, and when Kit looked back up at Ty, the other boy’s face was serious. “I really messed up, didn’t I.” It was a statement, not a question, but Kit answered anyway.

“We both did.” He breathed out a deep sigh and rested his head on Ty’s chest. He felt Ty stiffen and immediately regretted his action. That is, until he felt Ty’s head rest on top of his, hand tracing Kit’s shoulder blades beneath his shirt. With his head pressed to Ty’s chest, he could hear the music coming from Ty’s headphones, classical music this time, and closed his eyes to the melancholic rhythm. 

The two of them stood there for quite a while without speaking, just using one another as pillars for support. Kit was sure that Ty’s mind was running wild with all the information they had received from Ash, but they had come to a silent understanding that this could all wait a few hours at least. 

The door banged open and the two of them stumbled away from one another once more. Aline stood on the opposite side of the door with narrowed eyes. “What exactly is going on in here?”

“We were going to grab food before we went to rest,” Kit tried feebly. Ty’s eyes moved from the floor to Aline, to Kit, and then back to Aline. She looked at the two of them suspiciously. “For twenty-five minutes?”

Had it been that long? “Yes?” Kit answered, voice uplifting at the end making it sound like a question. Aline stood silently for a moment before sighing and waving her hand. “Whatever, just go get some rest, Julian will kill you both if you don’t take care of yourselves.”

They shuffled out of the pantry quickly, each grabbing the first things they saw. For Kit this was a box of raisins, and for Ty this was a whole squash. “Um, don’t, uh, mention this to anyone?” Kit requested. He wasn’t sure if Ty cared whether or not his family knew about the two of them, but definitely didn’t think he’d want them to find out through Aline. 

He wasn’t entirely sure himself what was going on between the two of them. He knew where he stood, and he was pretty certain Ty knew as well, but Ty’s feelings remained a slight mystery. Sure, Ty had kissed him first last night, and again minutes before, but he couldn’t be sure about anything. For all he knew Ty had been caught in the heat of the moment and had no intention to form any sort of relationship with Kit.

“Mention what?” Aline asked innocently, grabbing a few ingredients from the pantry and striding away without another word. Ty and Kit glanced at one another briefly before hurrying off to their rooms. Ty hesitated by Kit’s door as if he wanted to say something, but then he continued walking until he reached his own room, pausing again only briefly to smile at Kit down the hall before disappearing behind the door with his squash. 

Kit stepped into his own room, closing the door and flopping onto the bed, tossing his raisins on the nightstand beside him. Livvy appeared next to him almost instantly. He blushed and sat up, looking at her pale figure. 

“I told you I’d see you again,” he said conversationally. She rolled her eyes. “You know full well that’s not why I’m talking to you, Kit.”

He sighed. “I know. Why aren’t you talking to Ty first? I feel like this concerns him more than me.”

“I’m not here to talk about that either,” she said with a pointed look. “Though we should discuss it at some point, the three of us. I’m not sure I’ll be much help, but I may have some useful information.” 

“Then what are you here to talk about?” he looked at her quizzically. Her ghostly form floated down to sit beside him.

She sighed. “If I was physically capable of smacking you, I would.”

“Rude.”

Livvy laughed, long brown hair ruffling as she dipped her head. “I’m happy for you two, you know.”

Kit cleared his throat. “Uh-- what, uh, what do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.”

He did know what she meant. There wasn’t really a proper way to respond to what she had said, though. Did he say thanks? Did he bring up the time they had kissed all those years ago? Did he tell her he was worried there was nothing for her to be happy for them about because he didn’t even know if Ty  _ really _ wanted him like that?

When he didn’t respond, she continued, “It was always meant to be you and him, I think. That’s why I liked you so much, because you liked him so much.”

“I didn’t know how I felt about him when we kissed,” he said hurriedly, but she brushed him off. 

“Kit, that was a long time ago, and I’m dead now, so believe me when I say there are no hard feelings.” 

He coughed awkwardly. It was strange to hear her speak of being dead so casually, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, as if she should not have been sitting beside him alive and whole. He wondered how different things would be if she had been there the way she should be. Would he have talked to her about his feelings for Ty? Would he have even left Ty in the first place? 

“Are you still mad at me for leaving?” he asked. 

“I wasn’t mad at you for leaving, Kit, I was mad at you for hurting Ty. He’s still hurting, I think, but as long as you’re here for him, the hurt will lessen until it becomes manageable, and that’s all I can hope for.” Her eyes were sad, and Kit realized that, despite her jokes, this was as hard for her as it was for him. She wanted to be there to go through these things so she was making do with what she had. 

“You know, I was hurting too,” he said, and she blinked up at him, “I know that Ty is your twin, so it makes sense that you always have his back, but I didn’t just leave Ty to leave him. I left because I told him I loved him and he ignored me. I left because he implied that I didn’t matter to him. Maybe it was an overreaction, but when you’re fifteen and have only ever said ‘I love you’ to one other person before, those things mean something. It’s not crazy for someone to leave when they feel they aren’t wanted.”

She opened her mouth once, then closed it, looking at him with a sincere softness in her expression. “I’m sorry, Kit, for being so harsh on you earlier. I’m sure you had your reasons for leaving. I’ve only been privy to Ty’s experiences for the past three years, I can only feel what he feels. It’s-- it’s really odd for me, to not be able to feel my own experiences, but feel them through my brother. We were always connected to one another, but now I’m more him than me. You say I understand Ty more because I am his twin, and it’s true that used to be the case, but I’m not his twin anymore. I never will be again. As much as I wish I was the Livvy I was when I was alive, I’m not.”

Her voice broke off and Kit was stunned by the emotion in her words. He wanted to give her a hug or comfort her in some way, but he didn’t know how these things worked with ghosts.

“Of course you’re not the same.” She looked at Kit with a somewhat hurt expression. “That doesn’t have to be a bad thing. I’m not the same either. Ty is not the same either. If you  _ were  _ the same Livvy you were three years ago, I would be more worried.”

Livvy reached out as if trying to clasp his hand and faltered right before their hands could meet, knowing they wouldn’t actually be able to touch. “Thank you, Kit. You know, when you’re not being dense, you’re a really great person.”

“Um, thank you?” He laughed.

“You’re going to make Ty really happy, I know it.”

Kit bit the inside of his cheek. “But what if he doesn’t want me like that? What if everything was a fluke and he was just caught in the heat of the moment or just kissed me because he thought it would shut me up or--”

He broke off at the sound of a knock on his door. Livvy disappeared immediately, shooting him a grateful smile before she left. When he opened his door he found a widely grinning Will looking up at him. 

“What’s up Willie?” he said, scooping his little brother into his arms. Will furrowed his brows in concentration before forming words. “Mummy said, she said, that she said that I can nap with you.”

Will looked at him with an expectant smile. Kit laughed softly, lying down on the bed and tucking his brother in beside him. “All right, Will, let’s get some sleep then.” 

The two of them dozed off, Will dreaming about whatever toddlers dreamt about, and Kit dreaming of the boy he loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


	19. You're The One That I Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nsfw warning: this chapter contains h*nd h*lding ;))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a little bit, I've had a lot going on, but the support on this fic still means the world to me :,)))

Small hands tapped Kit’s face repeatedly before he was even somewhat consciously aware of his surroundings. The past few days had been such an utter mindfuck that he half expected to wake up in Japan. Or back at home in bed waiting to be portalled to the LA Institute because all of this had just been one crazy dream. 

He did, however, realize this was not the case when he woke up fully to Will and Tavvy taking turns poking him to try to get him up. 

“I’m up! I’m up!” The two boys giggled as he grunted up to a seated position. He turned to Tavvy. “I expected more from you, aren’t you ten now?”

Tavvy shrugged with a wicked grin. “Now that I know you’re not dead I can be mad at you for not visiting me and making Ty sad. Also Will wanted to wake you up and I’m the grown up now, so I have to do what he wants.”

“I’m not sure that’s how that works…” Kit trailed off, hearing the floorboards creak outside his room.

“It’s ok Tavvy, Kit doesn’t make me said.” Kit’s eyes found Ty’s where the other boy was standing in the doorway, still wearing Kit’s clothes. For some reason Kit couldn’t draw his eyes away from where Ty’s ankles were slightly exposed in the slightly too short pants. “Besides,” Ty said, walking into the room, “I think I’ve made Kit sad too, so we’re even.”

Tavvy looked at his brother, wholly unamused. “Whatever. Jules just wanted me to tell you guys that dinner is ready. And he told me to tell Kit that respecting women juice is off limits tonight.”  
Kit choked on his breath as Tavvy exited hand in hand with Will, who waddled excitedly out the door. Ty came to sit down beside Kit. “I think Tavvy missed you.”

Kit looked up at Ty through his eyelashes. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Ty nodded. He swallowed, Adam’s apple pulsing in his throat. A pinkness spread across Ty’s cheeks as he continued shyly, “But not as much as I did.”

Kit looked away from Ty to hide his smile. He inched his hand from his lap to beside his leg, wondering, hoping, Ty would reach over and hold onto it. 

“I missed you too,” Kit said and glanced up for Ty’s reaction. Ty’s eyes crinkled at the sides as he buried his head in his chest, a slow grin forming on his face. Ty bit his lip absently, as if that could stop him from smiling. Their eyes met and Ty glanced down to their hands beside one another before inquiring, “Can I… can we--”

Kit answered by lacing his fingers through Ty’s, marveling at how well they fit together and how soft Ty’s hands were. Kit felt ashamed of his own calloused hands. Ty was blushing brighter than ever now, and Kit was sure that he was doing the same, but found that he didn’t care all that much. He was holding hands with Ty. He was really holding hands with Ty. 

“Hey Kit have you seen Ty-- oh.” Dru stood in the doorway and Kit quickly unlaced his fingers from Ty’s. luckily, they were positioned in such a way that it was impossible for her to see anything besides the two of them sitting next to one another. Despite this, she eyed them suspiciously and Kit realized both of their faces must still be bright red. She gave them one more quick evaluation with her eyes before turning away and calling over her shoulder, “Come downstairs, dinner’s ready.”

They both stood up hurriedly and made their way to the door. Ty was behind Kit, and as Kit moved to turn the light off, he quickly kissed Ty on the cheek before following Dru down the hallway and down the stairs.

The constant stream of chatter coming from the dining room ceased when Kit and Ty walked in together. Alec, who had stayed for dinner along with Magnus, gave him a conspiratorial smile that told Kit that Magnus had informed his husband of how he had found the two of them that morning. 

“How much taller are you going to get, Ty? You’ve almost got me beat,” Julian said incredulously. “Those pants are already short on you.”

Kit coughed at the statement, hurriedly sitting down at one of the two open chairs. Ty sat in the empty chair beside him, shrugging. “How would I know how tall I’m going to be?” he asked seriously, causing Julian to smile. 

Across from Kit, Aline was looking between him and Ty with narrowed eyes. Jem was seated directly to Kit’s right and was watching Aline watch them with some amusement. Tessa, oblivious to, or maybe a little bit too aware of the situation turned her head to Kit. “Kit aren’t those your pants?”

Kit coughed again, turning red. “No. I mean, yes, technically, but he didn’t have any other clothes.”

“That’s true, mine got ruined when Kit teleported us to Devon,” Ty chimed in helpfully, “Kit’s did too.”

Kit nodded vigorously, glancing at Magnus and Alec who gave him covert thumbs ups. He rolled his eyes at them, but had to fight to keep a smile from his face. He reached out for his water glass in order to occupy his hands and was immediately glared at by the majority of the table. 

“It’s water! I promise! You guys filled the glasses this time,” Kit huffed indignantly. Jem raised his eyebrows and Kit shook his head in a way that said  _ I’ll explain later _ . Emma was still looking at him with an unsure expression so he handed it to Will, sitting between Jem and Tessa, who excitedly took a sip before handing it back to Kit. Everyone around the table relaxed, Jaime and Dru giggling into their hands on the other side of the table. He stuck his tongue out at them, a childish gesture that made them laugh harder.

Ash was on the other side of Tessa, looking at all the food with a mix of interest and apprehension. Kit dug into his own food, which was delicious as usual, and tried again to keep a smile from his face as he watched Ty do the same. Ty caught his eye with a mouthful of pasta and the two of them cracked up, causing some wary looks from around the table. 

“Sorted out your differences?” Aline asked innocently across the table. Kit shot her a glare as Ty ducked his blushing face to the side. Kit realized it was probably common knowledge that he and Ty hadn’t parted on the best of terms all those years ago, and wished someone would change the subject quickly before more questions arose. Thankfully, Will chose that moment to be particularly adorable, and everyone turned their attention to his babblings. 

“Can I?” Ty asked Kit quietly, nodding at the bread basket to Kit’s right before furtively shifting his gaze down to Kit’s hand, resting on his chair. Kit bit his lips to keep from reacting to what Ty was really asking. He nodded, passing the bread with one hand and interlocking his pinky finger with Ty’s under the table. His heart was racing so fast at the minimal touch that he almost didn’t hear the question Julian directed to Ty.  

“When do you have to go back to the Scholomance Ty-Ty?” Julian was scooping more pasta onto his own plate as he asked, casual as can be. Kit’s rapidly beating heart stopped immediately. He had almost forgotten they both had other lives to return to. Ty would be returning to the Scholomance and he would be returning to Devon. It may even be another three years before they met again. 

Ty shook his head. “I don’t know. Now that I’ve graduated I’m supposed to be doing more fieldwork…” he trailed off, finding his words, “I technically don’t have to live there anymore, but I should probably go back to give a report on our mission to faerie at some point. Though, I’m not sure if that mission is entirely closed or not yet.”

Julian nodded. “Well, we’re just happy we get more time with you.” Julian’s smile was so broad and sincere that it made Kit’s chest ache. It hurt a lot less than it would have years ago, now that he had Jem, Tessa, and Will to look at him that way, but he had always been jealous of the bond the Blackthorns shared. 

“When are you guys leaving?” Dru asked Alec and Magnus. It was becoming something of a habit for them to be sitting at the table with the Blackthorns, apparently. 

“After dinner,” Alec said, “We do have a musical to plan, after all.”

Kit choked on his water. “You’re actually going to do it?”

“If it keeps peace between us and the Seelie Court, I’ll try anything.” Alec laughed at the absurdity of it all and Kit joined him. “What about you all?” Alec directed the question to Jem and Tessa. 

“We’ll probably leave in the morning,” Tessa stated, “Will is nearly asleep already, and I don’t want to wake him up with portal travel tonight.” 

She was right, Will’s head was drooping onto the table adorably and he seemed unaware that everyone was watching him with soft, almost reverent expressions. If they could do more than waddle and babble, babies and toddlers could probably take over the world, Kit thought. 

“Who are you again? I thought everyone lived here except Kit,” Ash asked Tessa hesitantly, growing red faced almost instantly. Kit hadn’t even realized how overwhelming everything would be for him. He felt bad that he hadn’t done anything to help him, too consumed in Ty.

“They’re my parents,” Kit said gesturing from Tessa to Jem. Ash’s brows furrowed. He began, “I thought--”

“What Kit is  _ trying _ to say, is that he lives with us, in Devon. We are his parents, yes, but his biological parents have passed on,” Tessa clarified.

“Yeah, my dad was ripped apart and eaten by demons,” Kit said nonchalantly, accompanying it with an ironic peace sign. On the other side of the table Dru put her head into her hands. 

Ash looked from Kit to Jem to Tessa. “Oh, right. My brother told me about you.”

“Not your brother,” Kit said.  

Kit felt Ty’s finger slip away from his and wondered if he had said the wrong thing. He didn’t quite know if Ty forgave him for leaving yet, and didn’t want to make things bad between them again. Maybe he shouldn’t have brought up the fact he would have to be leaving again soon. Ty’s fingers found Kit’s under the table again and he interlocked their hands fully, causing Kit to release the panic that had been building in his chest. Ty gave his hand a squeeze, and Kit squeezed it back probably more tightly than he meant to, but he wanted Ty to know how much this contact meant to him.

Ash was still looking at Kit, somewhat confused. “So that’s where I’ll be going too, then? How far away from here is Devon, again?” Ash cast a short glance at Dru when he said that, though Kit wasn’t sure if anyone else noticed.

Alec cleared his throat. “Magnus and I thought we would take you back to New York with us. Clary and Jace live there as well, and Clary is your aunt, so we thought you might like to be close with her.”

“So… is Kit coming to New York too?” Ash asked. Alec shot Kit a confused glance, which he returned with a shrug.

“No, Kit is still going to live with Jem and Tessa.”

“Well then I’m going to live with Jem and Tessa too.”

“Maybe we could discuss this further…” Alec began when he was cut off by Ash. 

“I want to live with my brother,” Ash said indignantly, which earned looks of confusion from everyone at the table. 

“Not your brother,” Kit sighed dejectedly. The statement seemed to be more and more futile every time he said it.

“Ash,” Emma explained, “You know Kit isn’t your brother, right?”

Ash stuck up his chin stubbornly. “Jem and Tessa aren’t his parents either.”

“He’s got you there,” Mark confirmed, earning a gentle elbow in the side from Cristina. 

“Kit’s the only one like me,” Ash continued in a pleading voice, “I don’t want to leave him, not now, not ever.”

“Ever is a long time,” Kit cut in again, but no one was listening to him. Truthfully, he didn’t really care what Ash did as long as he was safe. Kit barely knew how to use his faerie magic, so he wasn’t sure how safe he’d be able to keep Ash, but Jem and Tessa had done a good job keeping  _ him _ safe, so maybe it wasn’t the worst idea. Maybe Ash would be able to help Kit with his faerie magic as well. 

Alec considered Ash. “We can talk more in the morning,” he decided, “I hadn’t realized how late it was getting. Helen, Aline, would you mind if Magnus and I stayed the night? I daresay we underestimated the things that needed to be done before we left.”

“Of course,” Helen agreed, “Will Max and Rafe be all right at home or do you wish to portal them here?”

“They’re with Clary and Jace, both of whom they adore for reasons I cannot fathom. Well, Clary I understand, but Jace Herondale is surprisingly and alarmingly good with children,” Magnus said with a bit of admiration. Alec smiled softly at his side. “Time to turn in then?”

Most everyone at the table agreed with tired nods. Kit wasn’t feeling particularly tired, thanks to his earlier nap, but he didn’t argue when people began standing up from the table. He released Ty’s hand reluctantly under the table as he stood up himself, making small eye contact with Ty before heading to his room. 

Once he had washed up and changed for bed, he laid down on the comforter with a soft thud. The thought of Ty changing out of his clothes for bed, while necessary, made Kit’s heart pang slightly. He suddenly wished he had brought more clothes, just to see Ty in them. 

A soft knock sounded on his door and he sighed before pushing himself up and making his way over to where Will was likely waiting on the other side. He looked down as he opened the door, expecting to see his brother’s tiny face but instead saw a pair of skinny ankles in too short pants. Kit drew his gaze up immediately to Ty’s face.

“I figured you would want your clothes back,” Ty said, looking above Kit’s head and turning bright red even in the dim lighting. Kit nodded absently and ushered Ty into the room, closing the door behind them. Ty became even more red at that but said nothing of it. 

“That’s why you’re here? To give me my clothes back?” Kit asked, only slightly teasing. Ty nodded, reaching to pull the borrowed shirt over his head and tossing it on top of Kit’s duffel bag. 

“Nice shot,” Kit said before turning back around to Ty’s face close to his, gray eyes bright as the moon streaming through the window. He felt his throat pulse as he swallowed. “It  _ is _ a little warm in here,” he decided, removing his own shirt. Ty’s hands moved immediately to his ribcage, tracing the bone structure in a delicate manner that made Kit shiver. Kit’s fingers hovered above Ty’s waist.

“I think those pants are mine too,” he whispered gently into Ty’s neck, aware that they were moving closer and closer, millimeter by millimeter. Ty stilled and Kit quickly amended, “But you can keep them if you want, of course, I’m not trying to--”

But Ty moved his hands to Kit’s and moved them both to his waistband, slowly undoing the tie in the center before pulling them down 

Down

Down

Less than a minute later, both boys were standing together in the middle of the room, wearing only their underwear, but still fully comfortable. Kit cocked his head to one side, drawing one of his hands up to Ty’s face. “Where were we?”

“I think you were about to kiss me,” Ty breathed, voice nearly inaudible. Kit smiled and pulled Ty close, both hands now cupping his angular jaw. Each kiss was better than the last, if that was even possible. Every time they pulled away from one another, Kit was hit with a stunning sense of loss that couldn’t be filled until Ty’s lips were on his mouth, his neck, his chest. Kit had to rise up on his toes to reach Ty’s mouth at points, but Ty accommodated him by bending down slightly. Kit didn’t mind being on his toes, not really, he would do anything to close the gap between the two of them, would float if necessary.

Unlike in Devon, when everything felt hot and rushed and desperate, there was a gentle fragility to their movements. The world no longer felt like it was ending, but beginning. They could take their time with one another, learn every inch of what made Kit Kit and what made Ty Ty. There was a distinct beauty to that, Kit realized, and didn’t know how he had gone so long without it. 

Ty lowered Kit’s body to the bed softly, almost as if he was scared of letting Kit go even for a moment. Kit pulled Ty as close as he could as this was happening, until there was barely an inch of space between where he laid and where Ty hovered on top of him. Without thinking, still kissing, Ty repositioned himself so he was straddling Kit, causing Kit to gasp aloud. Ty broke away from their kiss. “Is this ok?”

“Yes. You?”

“Yes.”

Kit’s hands wrapped around Ty’s back as Ty bent his head lower to leave a trail of kisses, light and soft as air, down his chest to his naval. Kit’s breathing had become very short as he reached a hand to clench Ty’s hair, which felt like the sky of faerie looked. Ty’s trail of kisses had stopped at a point just above the band of his underwear, and Kit tipped Ty’s chin up to look at him. Ty’s gaze was on the headboard of the bed, but Kit could tell he had his full attention. 

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I’m perfectly content kissing you like this for all of eternity,” Kit reassured Ty. It wasn’t a lie. As long as Ty was there with him, he didn’t care what they were doing. Hell, he’d even be happy just to sit next to Ty and watch a movie. 

The kissing was nice, though. Quite nice. 

“It’s not that…” Ty trailed off. “I know some things about-- this, things like this, but the internet only tells you so much. Before the other day I’d never even kissed anyone before. What if I do this wrong?”

Kit almost laughed at the absurdity in that statement. Everything Ty did was absolutely perfect in every way. “You think I’m an expert? I’ve kissed maybe three girls before and those were just quick, closed mouth pecks.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“But you’re Kit Herondale!”

“You’re Ty Blackthorn?”

“You know those aren’t the same. You’re normal, you’re cool, you’re hot--”

“You think I’m hot?” Kit perked up.

Ty buried his face in Kit’s chest. “Objectively. Herondales are statistically proven to be hot.”

“Oh.”

“ButyesofcourseIthinkyou’rehot,” Ty’s whisper came out in one long jumble. Kit raised his eyebrows teasingly. “What was that?”

“You heard me, Christopher.” Ty frowned up at him.

“Oh, Christopher, now, is it?” Kit sat up on his elbows and looked to Ty with a glint of humor in his eyes.

Ty nodded, his face softening once more. “I like the sound it makes when I say it.”

“Glass, twin, apple, whisper, stars, crystal, shadow, lilt,” Kit murmured, words from a different time and place, but a deeply intimate moment that Kit would always remember. 

Ty was silent and Kit immediately panicked, wondering if he should have just kept quiet. Then Ty said, “Whisper, cloud, secret, highway, hurricane, mirror, castle, Blackthorns.”

The corner of Kit’s mouth twitched up. Of course he had remembered Ty’s words, but he hadn’t expected Ty to remember his. “Blackthorns? I’m pretty sure it was just ‘thorns’.”

Ty just shrugged, and Kit pulled him in to press a kiss to his temple. “Glass, twin, apple, whisper, stars, crystal, shadow, lilt,  _ Christopher _ ,” he whispered into Ty’s hair. Ty shuddered out a shaky breath. 

“Whisper, cloud, secret, highway, hurricane, mirror, castle, thorns. Blackthorns.”

“Glass, twin, apple, whisper, stars, crystal, shadow, lilt, Christopher.”

“Whisper, cloud, secret, highway, hurricane, mirror, castle, Blackthorns.”

“Glass, twin, apple, whisper, stars, crystal, shadow, lilt, Christopher.”

Their words mingled with one another, lips finding each other in between syllables, hands clenching with each breath they took.  _ Whisper.  _ It was hard to tell who was speaking anymore.  _ Glass _ . Everything was so right, so simple.  _ Cloud _ .  _ Twin. Secret. Apple _ . Maybe neither one of them was breathing anymore, maybe they had simply died and gone to heaven.  _ Highway _ . But Kit felt so alive.  _ Whisper _ . And Ty felt so alive _. Hurricane. Stars. Mirror. Crystal. Castleshadowthornslilt. Blackthorns. Christopher.  _

“Tiberius.” Kit kissed Ty deeply. “Tiberius, Tiberius, Tiberius.”

“Christopher, Christopher, Christopher.”

“I love you, I love you, I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


	20. Don't Blame Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kit and ty are very bad at hiding things ;))

Kit awoke with Ty’s head on his chest. The night before felt like a dream. If he didn’t have a few visible signs of he and Ty’s time together on his collarbone, he would have believed it had indeed been a fantasy. There was a small purple spot behind Ty’s ear as well, and another on the base of Ty’s neck, which Kit looked at feeling nothing but a glowing peacefulness. Ty looked so beautiful, even in sleep, that Kit was tempted to take a picture before realizing that might be kind of creepy. 

“You’re… staring,” Ty said sleepily, eyes still closed, inky lashes spraying across his pale, marblelike cheeks. Kit brought a hand up to run it through Ty’s hair, the other tracing circles on Ty’s bare spine. 

“Can’t help it,” he said simply. The corners of Ty’s eyes crinkled as he suppressed a smile. Kit pressed a soft kiss to Ty’s forehead, and Ty then opened his eyes, bringing them up to meet Kit’s. “I can’t help it either.”

Ty raised himself up slightly, covering Kit’s body with his, and leaned in for a deep, breathtaking, mind numbing, kiss. They didn’t hear the knock at the door, only heard when the door opened. Ty met Kit’s eyes again, both wide and panicked, before Ty flopped fully on top of Kit and turned his head sleepily to the door. 

“Hey, Kit, Emma said it would be nice if we made you breakfast in bed, so…” Julian was saying. Kit didn’t have a view of anything other than Ty’s armpit at the moment, but he could feel both of their hearts racing as Julian said, confusion evident in his voice, “Uh, Ty? Where’s Kit? Why are you in here?”

“I came to wake him up because I… remembered something about his faerie magic I wanted to discuss, but he was already gone. It was really early, I must have fallen asleep without realizing it,” Ty’s voice was soft and unsteady, but he masked it well enough by pretending to be barely awoken from his slumber. 

“Kit’s gone?” Julian asked in a worried voice.

“Not  _ gone _ gone,” Ty quickly amended, “I’m sure he’s just on the roof or at the beach or something. He liked going there in the mornings when he lived here. I would have gone to look, but I was… tired.”

Kit still couldn’t see anything, but he hoped Julian would believe his brother. There was the sound of something being set down, which Kit hoped was Julian setting the pancakes down, not him sitting down to stay in there. “Right, that makes sense. I’ll go look there for him, I didn’t make pancakes for nothing. Is everything ok with you two? I know it must be difficult, after all this time. I know you won’t tell me what happened, but I’m always here, ok?”

“Ok.” Ty was still as can be, body still covering Kit’s fully. 

A few moments later there were soft footsteps and the sound of the door closing. Ty sagged in relief into Kit. “Could you…?” Kit squeaked out, and Ty laughed faintly before removing his body from Kit’s.

“Right, sorry,” Ty said, blushing, “You’d better go to the roof or something…”

“Oh, yeah, shit.” Kit sat up hurriedly and began trying to locate his clothes from somewhere on the floor. He’d reached his pants on the floor and had moved over to the window when the door burst open again and Ty and Kit both shot up. Julian stood back in the door, eyes wide in shock as he took in the sight of Kit in his underwear, holding a pair of pants in one hand and fumbling to open the window with the other, and Ty sitting up in the bed wearing nothing but his underwear as well, covered by the comforter. 

“I… forgot… the pancakes…” Julian stuttered, nodding to the tray he had set down on the dresser when he had entered the room previously. Kit’s hand flew to his collarbone, attempting to cover the small marks of their night together, which only served to draw Julian’s attention to them. Kit saw the exact moment Julian put together the pieces, because the look in Julian’s eyes in that moment was something he hoped he would never see again. 

“You-- you and-- NO. NO. NO.” Julian took a step forward, which Kit took as a cue to get the hell out of there. He finangled the window open in a hurry and had one leg halfway out when Emma walked into the room. “Julian, what’s wrong? Why are you-- oh.”

Kit waved at her meekly, still halfway out the window, which he realized probably wasn’t the best move. He prayed to every god or angel he could think of that no one else would walk into the room, and Ty must have been having a similar thought, because he shrunk lower and lower into the bed, as if that could make any difference. 

The silence that hung in the air was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of Kit’s life, and he’d had a lot of uncomfortable experiences. Emma had put her hand on Julian’s arm, which was probably meant to restrain him should he remember why he had taken a step toward Kit in the first place. Still holding his pants in one hand, Kit slowly reached for his shirt and pulled it over his head before jumping out the window. 

“Thanks for the pancakes!” he called over his shoulder as he landed on the roof and started running to the opposite side of the Institute. After a moment he heard footsteps behind him and swore, realizing he should have closed the window behind him. 

“Kit wait up!” It wasn’t Julian’s voice, but Ty’s. Kit slowed and turned around to the sight of Ty, wrapped in one of Kit’s sheets hobbling his way across the roof. 

Kit laughed. “Why did you come after me?”

“I don’t know,” Ty said, his face supremely red. “It was a better option than staying in there. I think Julian was about to spontaneously combust.”

Kit handed Ty the pants he was holding, figuring it would make their situation better if Ty wasn’t just wearing a sheet and underwear. Ty took them gratefully and Kit held back his smile as he saw the pants were still too short for Ty. 

Ty noticed him looking and scoffed as they sat down, feet dangling over the roof’s edge, “It’s not my fault you’re shorter than me. Why don’t you wear my pants and see how you like tripping over them because they’re too long?”

Kit’s face got red at the same time Ty’s did, the latter realizing what he had said. “As much as I would love to wear your pants, I think we need to give Julian a little bit of time to process first.”

They both broke into a fit of giggles. It wouldn’t be long before they would have to go inside and face Julian, but right now was just for the two of them sitting on the roof as they used to do. 

“What are we going to say to Julian? About… whatever this is.” Ty turned his face to Kit, squinting in the early morning sun. Kit had been wondering the same thing. He didn’t entirely know what Ty wanted from whatever had been going on between them. 

Kit shrugged. “What do you think?”

Ty’s voice became frazzled. “I don’t-- I don’t know. Do we have to know?”

“No, not really. Just as long as you’re ok with all of this. You don’t regret anything do you?” It was something that had been worrying Kit in the back of his brain. 

“No, of course not,” Ty responded quickly, “I’ve just never done anything like this before. I don’t know what we’re supposed to do. Should we tell everyone else?” 

“Does everyone else know you’re-- that you like boys?” Kit didn’t think that any of the Blackthorns would have a problem with that fact, seeing as Magnus had been right that most of them were not entirely heterosexual, but it was still something to consider. 

Ty turned away in embarrassment. “Yes. It was kind of an accident, but yes.”

“Do tell.”

“I had a panic attack and told Julian I was gay about a year ago.”

“Oh.” Kit got serious immediately. “Was… was everything ok?”

Ty put his face in his hands. “I couldn’t stop thinking about your eyes.”

“My… wait what? You came out to Julian because you were thinking about my eyes? You had a panic attack about my eyes?” 

“No. Yes. That was kind of when I realized I… liked you like that. I’m not very good at feelings, or interpreting them, so I didn’t know why I was always thinking about you, even when I hadn’t seen you for months, then years.” Ty was still staring determinedly at the ground, consciously avoiding Kit’s gaze.

Kit smiled, and reached over to turn Ty’s head towards his. Ty kept his eyes trained on the ground, but he allowed himself to face Kit. “I came out as bi to Jem and Tessa because I listened and cried to Total Eclipse of the Heart for ten hours straight one day. I didn’t tell them who I was thinking about, but I told them it was a boy.”

Ty flicked his eyes up to meet Kit’s for a moment before returning them to the ground. “So I’m not the only hot mess?”

“Not even close.”

Ty closed the space between them by kissing Kit gently, first on his nose then on his lips. Being kissed on the nose was a strangely intimate gesture that had Kit’s stomach fluttering with a million butterflies. 

“We should probably go back,” Ty said, bringing Kit back to the present. 

Kit sighed. “You’re right. But we’re going back through  _ your _ window.”

Ty grinned as he stood up and offered Kit a hand, and Kit was again struck by how lucky he was to even be living at the same time as Tiberius Blackthorn, much less being able to kiss and hold him close. 

The two of them retraced their steps back across the roof, making a slight deviation in the path to end up in front of Ty’s window instead of Kit’s. Ty’s window was already slightly open because he liked to fall asleep with a light breeze, so they had no trouble getting in and pulling the window shut behind them. 

Ty hastily changed out of Kit’s pants in favor of his own clothes, Kit taking the pants and putting them on. Poking his head out into the hallway, Ty looked around to make sure no one was right outside the door waiting for them before beckoning Kit to follow him. Kit paused on his way down the hallway to grab a pancake from where the tray was still sitting in his room, Julian and Emma nowhere to be found.

They debated going downstairs at different times but ultimately decided it was better to rip the bandaid off and face what was to come. Most of the family and guests were standing around the kitchen counter talking to one another when Kit and Ty came in, none of them looking particularly murderous. 

“Oh, good, there you guys are,” Dru said, directing them over to where she, Jaime, and Ash were standing. Kit avoided Julian’s glare as he moved to the opposite end of the table. Apparently he and Emma hadn’t said anything to anyone, which was a good sign. 

Alec appeared in front of the five of them and gestured for them to follow him over into the living room. Kit risked a glance over his shoulder and saw Julian was still staring at him with a look of immense nausea. Better than a look of murder, Kit supposed.

Once settled in the living room Alec spoke to Ash. “We’ve discussed with Jem and Tessa and, as long as it’s all right with Kit, you can live and train with them in Devon.”

Ash’s face lit up at once, turning his eyes to Kit, then back to Alec. “Really! Thank you so much! Kit is it… can I stay with you?”

“Of course,” Kit said. No matter how much he argued Ash wasn’t his brother, this kid had clearly been through a lot, so if he could find a way to make Ash’s life a little bit better, why wouldn’t he? He could use someone around his age in Devon, too. Will was great, but there were only so many conversations one could have with a toddler. 

Ash grinned from ear to ear and immediately engulfed Kit into a tight hug. Kit patted Ash’s back awkwardly until he let go, still beaming. 

“We do, however, have some things to discuss before you head back,” Alec continued.

“About the musical?” Kit asked, and Alec laughed. 

“No, not about the musical. Though, Cristina and Mark are heading out to the Unseelie Court in a bit to ask if they want to participate, Lily Chen and Simon Lewis are speaking with the vampires, Maia Roberts and Luke Garroway are speaking with the werewolves, and Magnus is taking it upon himself to speak with the warlocks.” Kit still couldn’t believe that they were actually putting together a musical, but found that he was excited for the end result. 

Alec looked between Kit and Ty. “Magnus also said the two of you might have some insight into the information Ash shared with us about how he got back here from Thule.”

Kit and Ty shared a look. How were they supposed to get out of telling the truth about this?

“I mean, we haven’t had a chance to discuss fully or anything,” Kit began, but Alec cut him off. 

“I know that. What I’m saying is, if it’s alright with you Kit, you could remain at the Los Angeles Institute a bit longer to assist Ty and Dru with concluding this mission. Jaime that goes for you as well.”

This was it. This was Kit’s chance to right his wrongs from the past and stay with Ty in a way that would correct their mistakes together as well. If they could work together to find a way to release Livvy and fix whatever hole they had made with their necromancy, maybe Kit would really start to feel like everything would finally be alright. 

“I’d have to speak with Jem and Tessa, and probably stop home to get more clothes and things, but I’d love to help,” Kit said as nonchalantly as he could. Ty’s fingers brushed his at his side, a movement that no one else noticed but made Kit’s heart warm considerably. 

Alec’s lips twitched into a quick smile. “Of course. Now, Ash, since Kit will be here for an indeterminate amount of time, you could still go with Jem and Tessa, or you could remain here until the mission is closed. Aline would be more than happy to involve you in training, and you may be able to provide insight for Kit, Ty, Dru, and Jaime.”

“I’ll stay here,” Ash said with a smile. Alec nodded, as if that’s what he’d been expecting. 

“Excellent. I’ll go inform Jem and Tessa, Kit I’m sure they’ll want to speak with you before they leave, but you can wait here for now.” Alec left the room when Kit gave him a thumbs up and the five of them looked to one another with soft smiles and light in their eyes. 

“We’re the new dream team, huh?” Dru said, giving each of them a high five. Ash’s hand lingered on hers for a moment and her cheeks went pink. Kit and Jaime looked at her with raised eyebrows but she gave them a death glare as if warning them not to say a thing. 

Someone cleared their throat in the doorway and they all turned to the sound. Fuck. It was Julian. Kit immediately regretted choosing to stay.

“You two,” Julian said in a monotone voice, pointing from Kit to Ty, “We need to talk. Now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


	21. Boyfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No this scene was NOT* inspired by the 5 fine frokner scene in skam...
> 
> *yes, yes it was

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for slower updates, my life has been hella busy lately :(   
> I'm trying to write a couple chapters ahead so I can be more consistent again soon!

Dru shot Kit a confused look which he returned with what he hoped was a reassuring smile. Hopefully she would think Julian was just talking to them to make sure he and Ty wouldn’t be awkward around one another as they had been initially. 

Reluctantly, Kit and Ty shuffled out of the room behind Julian, who looked even more intimidating than he usually did, if that was even possible. Kit was completely and utterly screwed. Julian led the two of them to what used to be Arthur Blackthorn’s office, the attic. It looked like no one had used it since Arthur had died and no one had even made the time to clean it either. 

“So,” Julian said in the same dead sounding voice, “When did… this, whatever this is, when did this happen?”

Kit and Ty looked at each other briefly before Julian spoke again, aiming his words at Kit. 

“No, no, don’t look at him. Look at me.” 

The whole thing might have been comical if Kit hadn’t been minutes away from peeing himself out of fear. “After faerie,” Kit said, figuring it was vague enough but specific enough to be satisfactory. 

“After… faerie.”

Or maybe it wasn’t. 

“In Devon,” Kit tested hesitantly. 

“In Devon,” Julian repeated, “You mean, when everyone was going crazy, thinking the two of you had died, you were  _ in Devon _ doing-- whatever you were doing--”

Ty reached out and grabbed Kit’s hand, and the act felt instinctive. Kit held it steadily, wondering if Ty had even realized what he had done. Julian ceased speaking as he caught sight of the movement. His face softened. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m not trying to… I don’t even know what I’m trying to do. You’re my baby brother Ty, I just want to make sure you’re good, that everything is… good.”

“Tavvy’s your baby brother,” Ty said stubbornly. Julian breathed out a short laugh. “I can have more than one baby brother. Mark may be technically older and the same age as me, but he’s my baby brother too. Probably even more than you and Tavvy.”

Kit could tell Ty was trying not to smile without looking at him. It was written in the way his fingers fluttered in Kit’s grip and in the way his head ducked down in Kit’s peripheral vision.

Julian’s eyes were trained on Ty when he asked, in a small voice, “Are you happy? Does… this… make you happy?”

“Yes,” Ty said, voice breaking at the end. Julian stepped forward and pulled Ty into a hug, unintentionally separating his hand from Kit’s. It was a hug that only a father could give his son, and Kit felt as though he was intruding on a private moment. 

“That’s all I want, you know, is for you to be happy,” Julian whispered into Ty’s hair. Ty was almost taller than Julian now yet somehow didn’t look small. “I just wasn’t expecting this is all.”

Ty laughed softly, releasing Julian and looking briefly in his brother’s eyes before turning his gaze to the floor. Julian nodded at the door. “Go on, there should still be some pancakes.”

Kit and Ty turned to leave but Julian held Kit back with an arm. Ty looked over his shoulder quizzically, but Kit waved him on. Kit turned to look up at Julian, slightly fearful once again now that they were alone. 

“I still don’t know what happened between the two of you three years ago, but you left the country and didn’t talk to anyone for years, and Ty left for the Scholomance with the grief of losing two people he was closest to. He wouldn’t tell us what happened, or even speak your name, but now you’re back and doing whatever you’re doing, and he looks happy again. If you do anything to hurt him ever again, I  _ will _ kill you,” Julian said matter-of-factly. 

“If I hurt Ty, I’d let you,” Kit confessed. “There was a lot we had to deal with, and a lot still, but I love Ty and I’ll make sure he knows that every day.”

Julian blinked. “You-- what?”

Kit blushed, but stood his ground. “I love Ty. I’m in love with Ty.”

He couldn’t keep the smile from his face, it felt so good to say it aloud to someone. He loved Ty and was in love with Ty and he wanted to share that love. Julian was studying him carefully, as if making sure Kit was being genuine. “No more sneaking alcohol at the dinner table,” he said finally.

Kit raised his hand in mock salute. “Scout’s honor.”

“And no more sneaking into each other’s rooms at night.”

“That’s not what we were--” Julian cut him off with a glare. Kit grumbled, “Scout’s honor.”

He was pretty sure Julian and Emma had snuck into each other’s rooms quite often, even back when they were  _ parabatai _ , so Kit could definitely fight this one at some point.  

“And,” Julian’s voice got more hesitant, “Be… safe. I don’t totally know how-- but just, you know, be safe and respectful of one another. Use… um… protection… or whatever… Not that you should have any reason to use protection yet, right?”

“Are you trying to give me the talk?” Kit laughed, and finally it was Julian’s turn to redden. 

“No. I’m just-- I don’t know what I’m doing. Oh God.” Julian’s face clouded over. “I have to give Ty the talk.”

“He probably knows more than you do,” Kit said and Julian’s gaze turned back to him in a hawklike focus. Kit quickly backtracked. “Not like that! I don’t know what he knows or doesn’t know! I’m just saying, he’d probably thought about this before. Everyone does. Don’t stress about it.”

“Right. Right,” Julian muttered, before turning and striding out of the attic. Kit glanced around the empty room before leaving as well, closing the door behind him. Did that mean their conversation was over? He decided to make his way back to the living room from the opposite direction Julian had gone, regardless. 

Halfway to his destination, he ran into Jem and Tessa, who was holding Will. “There you are! Drusilla said you’d left with Julian, but she didn’t know where you had gone. Is everything all right?” Tessa asked. 

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. Alec told you they asked me to stay?” Kit confirmed. Jem and Tessa nodded.

“Don’t feel pressured to, there will be plenty more missions,” Jem said kindly.

Kit shook his head. “No, I’m going to. Stay, I mean. I have to see this through.”

“You’re sure?” Tessa was looking at him with a compassionate and understanding face. He nodded. “I’m sure.”

“Well, then, you can portal home with us to grab some more clothes and things, since we don’t know how long you’ll be here, and then I can open a portal for you to come back when you’re ready. Sound good?” 

Kit nodded again. “Just give me one minute, I’m just going to go tell T-- everyone where I’m going. Be right back.”

Jem and Tessa exchanged a knowing glance that Kit ignored as he made his way down to the kitchen. Ty was standing alone by the counter, turning over a pancake in his hands. His face brightened when he saw Kit, a look that Kit didn’t think he would ever get tired of.       

“Hey,” Kit said, striding over to where Ty stood and giving him a kiss on the cheek. Ty looked around the room with wide, flustered eyes, before blushing deeply and kissing the top of Kit’s head. 

“Still alive?” Ty asked with a soft laugh. Kit smiled. “Fortunately. I’m going back home, just for probably a half hour, to go grab some of my things so I have everything I need to stay here for a while,” Kit explained. 

Ty’s brows creased. “Ok. Why are you telling me this?” 

“So I could say goodbye.”

“You’ll only be gone a half hour, you don’t need to say goodbye.”

Kit put a hand on Ty’s chin, drawing their eyes to one another. Ty did not look away. “I’m never not saying goodbye to you again.”

Ty’s lips twitched into a small smile. “Litotes.”

Kit paused. Maybe he had misheard. To him, it had sounded as though Ty had said--

“Litotes,” Ty repeated. “Never not going to say goodbye. That’s an example of litotes.”

“What’s litotes?”

“It’s when you use negative words, sometimes a double negative to say something that could have been said a different way. Like saying ‘I’m never not going to say goodbye to you’ instead of ‘I’m always going to say goodbye to you’.” Ty grinned as he finished defining it for Kit.

Kit cocked his head to one side. “Have I mentioned that I love you?”

Ty shrugged and said shyly, “I wouldn’t be mad if you said it again.”

“Litotes!” Kit exclaimed, “Not bad for a kid who hasn’t gone to muggle school in three years.” 

Ty grinned at Kit’s understanding of the term. “Muggle school?”

“It’s  _ so _ not my fault mundane and muggle sound similar and mean basically the same thing,” Kit argued, “I’m actually surprised you got that reference. I was under the impression Shadowhunters didn’t know much about pop culture.”

Ty wrinkled his nose. “Do you know who you’re talking to? Julian got Livvy and I the books when we were ten. I didn’t like them as much as Sherlock Holmes, but they were still very good. Livvy and I always secretly liked Draco Malfoy.”

“Ah, so you have a thing for bad boys,” Kit said, raising his eyebrows and leaning on the counter. “You see, that’s good, because I’m bad at everything.”

Ty laughed through his nose and rolled his eyes. It was so unlike Ty that Kit giggled along with him. “You’re ok at some things,” Ty offered. 

Kit laughed. “Just ok? All right then, like what?”

Ty raised his eyebrows but said nothing. Kit raised his eyebrows right back. “Fine, don’t tell me. I’m sure I can come up with something.”

Kit looked around the kitchen for ideas, eyes resting on the radio in the corner that was playing Justin Bieber. He smiled mischievously at Ty before going over to turn up the volume.

Boyfriend was playing, and it sure was lucky Kit knew all the words. He began moving back over towards Ty, mouthing the words and shimmying his shoulders, before realizing he should probably be trying to look sexy. Could he be sexy while singing along to Justin Bieber? Ty looked at him with amusement. “Justin Bieber? You’re good at singing Justin Bieber?”

Accompanying his shimmies with head nods, he moved until he was right in front of Ty. “I’m good at singing  _ and _ dancing to Justin Bieber.” 

The pre-chorus of the song hit, forcing Kit to emulate a falsetto tone, so he also added some hip swivels and body rolls to his routine to distract from the noises coming from his mouth. Ty was trying and failing to keep from laughing, so Kit got closer to his face.  _ “I’d like to be everything you want, hey boy, let me talk to ya. If I was your boyfriend, I’d never let you go…” _

Ty turned his head away to put his face in his hands, but he was smiling as he did so. Kit used this as an excuse to grab a whisk from where it was lying on the counter and use it as a microphone as he tried to imitate the “na-na-na”s of the music. He may have had a decent voice in general, but no one could sound good while singing along to Justin Bieber. But that was the point, wasn’t it? He would keep singing horribly as long as Ty was laughing. 

“ _ Tell me what you like, yeah tell me what you don’t I can be your Buzz Lightyear fly across the globe, I don’t ever want to fight, yeah you already know,” _ Kit sang before placing the whisk in front of Ty. Ty shook his head with wide eyes. “No.”

“ _ I can make you shine bright like you’re…”  _ Kit prompted.

“No.”

Kit decided to change the next bit of lyric a small amount if Ty wasn’t going to join in, “ _... in the snow burr. Boyfriend, boyfriend, you can be my boyfriend, you can-- _ ”

“ _ Be my boyfriend, until the-the-the world ends, _ ” Ty gave in, melodic voice overshadowing Justin Bieber’s in a heart arresting way. Kit was so entranced by Ty’s voice that he forgot to pick up the lyrics and ceased his dancing. Ty looked around in confusion. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Never,” Kit answered truthfully. He leaned forward in a silent question, which Ty answered by closing the gap fully and meeting his lips. Kit let his eyes close gently as he continued to sway to the music in Ty’s arms, which had come up to wrap around him, one on his hip and one on his face. 

“ _ Swaggy, _ ” they both whisper sang against one another’s lips, bursting into a fit of giggles afterwards. 

Their kiss got more passionate as Kit matched Ty’s motions, first resting his hands on Ty’s face, then running them through Ty’s soft black curls. He murmured some of the high pitched “na-na-na’s” again against Ty’s mouth, feeling the curve of Ty’s smile against his as he sang. Ty pulled Kit’s hips closer to him as he sat backed up to the counter. Kit picked up the whisk again from where he had set it down as they began to kiss and put it between them as the song began to end. 

“ _ I’d never let you go, never let you go _ ,” They both sang into the whisk with their lips nearly pressed against one another. The music began to fade out before it was cut off abruptly. Kit’s eyes shot open and he and Ty both turned their heads slowly toward the radio. 

Emma stood with her arms crossed and eyebrows raised, a hint of jest on her face. Kit realized Ty’s hands were still on his hips but they were both too frozen to release one another. 

“You guys are worse than Julian and I were.” Emma shook her head dramatically. “Kit, Tessa sent me to find you and let you know she’s opening the portal for you to grab your things.”

Kit finally broke away from Ty. “Right. I’ll go… do that.”

He strode out of the room quickly before realizing he was still holding the whisk. Turning around, he looked at Ty, who looked back, and dropped the whisk on the ground in what he hoped looked like a mic drop before sprinting the rest of the way to where his family was waiting for him. 

The last thing he saw as he left the kitchen was Ty biting his bottom lip in an exasperated grin, and Emma looking at the two of them as if she couldn’t believe them. Kit couldn’t blame her, he couldn’t really believe it either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


	22. bury a friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things were getting a lil too happy, don't you think?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: panic attacks

Kit gathered his things and portalled back to LA in record time, only stopping long enough to say goodbye to Jem, Tessa, and Will and give Will a big kiss on the cheek. He was nearly skipping as he left through the portal, earning him some weird looks from Jem and Tessa. He supposed that was justified. Last they knew, he had been so terrified to go back to the LA Institute that he’d been on the verge of a panic attack. 

He did feel a little bit strange about leaving them, especially since he had no idea how long he would be gone. This was the best semblance of a family he’d ever had after all. He wished they lived in closer proximity to the Institute so he could have the best of both worlds.

Ash was waiting for him on the other side of the portal with a wide grin. “Can we have a sleepover?” Ash asked, falling into step beside Kit. 

Kit furrowed his brows. “It’s like four in the afternoon, isn’t it?”

“I didn’t mean right now!” Ash laughed loudly and genuinely, even though Kit hadn’t said anything funny. “Tavvy was telling me that he has sleepovers with Rafe and Max sometimes because they’re best friends. I don’t know who Max and Rafe are, but Rafe and Tavvy are going to be  _ parabatai _ . Jace told me all about  _ parabatai _ , though it made him sad to talk about it. His  _ parabatai _ died in Thule. But he’s alive here! He’s Max and Rafe’s dad! Well, one of them. Hey, maybe we can be  _ parabatai  _ too!”

Kit had to take a few moments before all of Ash’s words caught up to him. He paused and turned to face Ash. “You want to be my  _ parabatai _ ?”

“Well, yeah,” Ash said with an expectant smile. 

“You realize we’ve known each other less than a week, yes?” Kit clarified, resuming his pace. Ash nodded jovially. 

“People usually know each other for years before deciding to become  _ parabatai _ .”

“Ok. That’s why we have to have a sleepover, to get to know each other better!” Ash pushed on, ignoring what Kit was saying. 

“Yeah, I’m not a huge sleepover fan, plus we’re already staying in the same house, so…” Kit trailed off. Ash just laughed. “But you had a sleepover with Ty last night!”

Kit stopped so fast he stumbled into the wall in front of him. “What?”

“Last night you and Ty had a sleepover. I saw him go into your room.”

“How did you--?”

“I was going to go to your room and ask if you wanted to have a sleepover, but Ty beat me to it, I guess, so I decided to wait until today.”

Kit blushed without meaning to. Thankfully Ash didn’t seem to be putting together the pieces so Kit fumbled to try to come up with an explanation. “The thing about that is… we had some things to discuss about what you told us about the portals and everything, but we didn’t want to talk to everyone yet in case we were wrong, so don’t tell anyone that Ty came to my room last night, ok?”

Ash furrowed his brows. “I don’t think anyone will care that you were talking about that.”

“Just don’t tell anyone, ok?”

“Ok,” Ash shrugged before getting a wicked glint in his eye. “On one condition.”

Kit sighed. “Shoot.”

“We all have a sleepover tonight! You, me, Dru, Ty, and Jaime. Unless they don’t want to. Then it can just be you and me.” Ash smiled, clearly pleased with himself. 

There was probably no way to get out of this so Kit surrendered. “Fine.”

“Really?” Ash’s entire face lit up.

“Don’t make me regret it,” Kit said warily as Ash began to run down the hallway in the opposite direction. 

“You won’t!” he called over his shoulder. “I’m going to go ask the others!” 

Kit couldn’t help but laugh at Ash’s retreating figure. Maybe it wasn’t so bad to have another little brother. Especially one who felt just as out of sorts in the world as he did. As Kit continued walking down the hall, he nearly ran into Ty, who was wearing a somber expression. The corners of Ty’s eyes and mouth softened a bit when he saw Kit, but his demeanor remained serious. 

“Is everything alright?” Kit asked, brows creasing in worry. Ty nodded, but looked to the side in apparent hesitation. 

“I think the three of us should talk,” Ty said quietly. 

Kit looked around. “The three--? Oh.” He meant Livvy. He had almost forgotten about why he was actually there, what with he and Ty’s stolen kisses and Ash’s musings of sleepovers and brotherly bonding. “Where do you want to go?”

“Maybe the attic?” Ty shrugged. “No one ever goes in there, so we probably won’t be interrupted.”

“Lead the way,” Kit agreed. As they made their way up the stairs, Kit noticed Livvy appear beside Ty. She stayed silent until they reached their destination, but it was still weird to have her there with them as if any of this was natural. 

The three of them sat on the floor once Ty closed the attic door behind them, Livvy floating slightly above the dusty floorboards. None of them seemed to know how to start the conversation. Kit’s heart was clenching painfully as he was reminded of the times the three of them sat in this exact way gossiping about the centurions and planning their next adventures. The look on Ty’s face told him that they were both thinking of the same thing. Kit scooted closer to Ty on the floor, almost imperceptibly, looking to Ty to see if it was ok. 

Ty’s gaze softened and dropped to Kit’s hands, folded in his lap. He reached out slightly and Kit responded by grabbing Ty’s hand and holding it between both of his. They continued to close the gap between them until they were shoulder to shoulder. Kit had to resist the urge to lay his head on Ty’s shoulder, knowing this was not exactly the time or place for that.

Livvy was the one who finally broke the silence. “We should talk about what Ash said yesterday.”

The tone in the room instantly shifted. Ty’s hand clenched in Kit’s, the only giveaway that he was uncomfortable. Kit had been trying to keep his mind off of everything Ash had said, and had been mostly successful. That was mostly thanks to Ty, and even Julian in some ways. He’d been so worried about Julian walking in on them that he’d forgotten they had bigger problems to deal with. 

“Do you know anything about what he said? Are there…” Kit trailed off. He didn’t want to say it, but he had to. “Are there other Livvys out there?”

He couldn’t look at Ty when he asked, not wanting to see the face of a fifteen year old boy who had no idea how to handle his grief. Ty’s hand hadn’t loosened in Kit’s, so Kit squeezed back in gentle reassurance. 

“Yes,” Livvy said simply.

“But how do you know? Why didn’t you say anything to me before?” Ty asked, voice hoarse. 

“Since I departed your world, I’ve always had knowledge of the others. There are innumerable versions of each and every one of us. I probably know more Livvys and Tys and Kits than you could dream of. What I don’t know is which ones, if any, have made their way into our world.” She ran her fingers through her faintly glowing hair, looking at the two of them with no more emotion on her face than if she were talking about the weather. 

Kit considered her words. It made sense that she would know of their existence in parallel dimensions now that she was no longer technically a part of any single one. “How do we find out, then? If there are any misplaced Livvys? How do we send them back?”

Livvy looked hesitant, as if she knew the information but was reluctant to share. “For that you will need magic.”

Ty nodded in Kit’s peripheral vision as if he had anticipated this. The ease with which Ty was understanding all of this set Kit on edge. Everything seemed far too familiar to what had gotten them in this situation in the first place. He realized why Livvy was hesitant to share what she knew.

“No,” Kit said, “We’re not using magic. I know what kind of magic you mean, it’s the same kind that brought you here in the first place. I’m not doing anything like that ever again.”

“But, Kit, we might have to--” Ty said softly before Kit turned harshly in his direction, cutting him off.

“I said no. Remember what happened the last time we did something like this? You said you don’t want to lose me again. If you do this, you will.” 

Kit extracted his hands from Ty’s and stood abruptly, storming out of the attic. How could that possibly be their only solution? Surely there had to be some way to combat the dark magic that had started this whole thing other than fucking around with dark magic once again. Kit could feel himself becoming worked up, breaths becoming shallow, and vision tunneling. 

He had to get to somewhere safe, somewhere familiar, before he collapsed again like he had the first time he arrived there. He saw Dru and Jaime walking towards him, chatting amongst one another and he gripped her arm as they passed.

“Dru,” he whispered, “Dru I need you.” 

He couldn’t really make out her face, couldn’t really feel anything aside from his fingers on her wrist, but she slowed and murmured something to Jaime before gripping his hand and pulling him down the hall. He fell into her as they walked, but she didn’t falter. Everything was so dark and Kit couldn’t pull in a breath. 

Once they stopped he collapsed onto the floor. She put her hands on both sides of his face and searched his face for a way to make things better for him. He was vaguely aware that he was hyperventilating, felt like his lungs were collapsing in on themselves. 

“I… can’t… again…” He attempted to piece together words, but they wouldn’t come. It was like his brain was attacking itself from the inside out, taking down the rest of his body in the process. 

“Hey, Kit, breathe with me. It’s ok, just breathe with me,” Dru said, bright eyes boring into his with a grave intensity. He tried to focus on her mouth and watch as she breathed in and out, replicating the function. 

In.

Out.

In.

Out. 

He didn’t know how long the two of them breathed in synch with each other, didn’t know when Dru moved her hands from his face to his hands, squeezing them with each breath they took in, releasing with every breath they took out, but he was so grateful for her in that moment. Tears were still running down his cheeks, but his vision was no longer blurred and his heart no longer felt fit to burst. 

In. 

Out.

“Thank you.” His voice was no more than a whisper, but she heard him, drawing his gaze up to hers. 

“Thank  _ you _ ,” she said, “For asking me for help, for not running away from this. I’ll always be here when you need me. Got it?”

He nodded, burying his face in her hair. They brought their arms around one another in a deep hug that warmed Kit to the core of his being. He again regretted how long it had taken him to reconnect with her.        

They stayed there a while holding each other. Kit knew his tears were falling into her hair and hoped she didn’t mind too much. He felt horrible for putting this on her, but he hadn’t known who else to go to. Ty’s face swam in his mind, and as happy as it made him, it also gave him a feeling of loss. How was it that he might lose Ty again already when they had only just reconnected? He had told Ty he loved him so many times over the past few days that it would be hard to have any sort of friendship with him should Ty want to back out of whatever had been going on between the two of them. 

Kit knew by now that his feelings were not one sided, but Ty also did not love him. It was understandable, of course, these feelings take time, but it was strange to feel like he was the only one falling so hard. He shook his head, trying to turn off his thoughts. It was perfectly fine that Ty hadn’t told him he loved him. Ty could take all the time he needed. Kit just had to stop ruining these things inside his own head before they even had a chance to come to fruition. 

Dru pulled back and looked him in the eyes. Kit was relieved to see that her face was clear in front of him, that his vision no longer failed him. “Are you all right?”

He nodded. “I think so.”

“Do you mind if I ask…” she tried hesitantly, “What happened?”

He had known she was going to ask, but he couldn’t find the words to tell her. How did he say that the boy he’d been in love with for three years finally knew that he loved him, but then at the same time the boy he loved might be going back to do something that was the reason he thought he would never be able to love him the way he was now? 

“I…” Kit began, “I don’t really know how to explain.”

“Does it have something to do with Ty?” she prompted. The answer must have been written all over his face, because she just sighed when he didn’t respond. “I thought you two were doing better, talked things out at least?”

He shrugged noncommittally. He didn’t want to tell her just how well they had talked things out, especially if there was a chance they would need to talk things out again soon.

“We did. There’s just… more to it than we thought,” he answered finally. She nodded as if she understood, even though there was likely no way that she did. 

“Will you believe me if I tell you it’ll all work out?” 

Kit laughed, harsh and short. “Probably not.”

“Fair enough,” Dru laughed in return, “But it will. I believe it will. Something is always going to bring you two back to each other, even if everything in the world is threatening to tear you apart.”

He looked up at her suspiciously. Was she more aware of things than she was letting on? Her brows furrowed when she saw Kit’s face. “What? Did I say something wrong?”

“No, sorry.” He schooled his features back into submission. “You’re just a really good friend. Almost  _ too _ good. I really have to step up my game.”

“Hell yeah you do. You’ve yet to teach me crimey things.”

“Tomorrow,” Kit decided, then remembered what he and Ash had spoken about earlier. “Oh, also, I don’t know if Ash caught you, but he wants to have a sleepover with the five of us tonight?”

Dru snorted. “He wants to do what?”

“Have a sleepover. You, me, Jaime, Ty, and him. Don’t question it, I already tried.”

“Um, ok, I guess?” Dru had a funny look on her face that Kit committed to memory for further contemplation. Angel help them all, that night was going to be quite interesting, he had no doubt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


	23. Last One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kit and ty are disaster gays and I love them for it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to do weekly updates from now on so I have a set schedule as to when I'm going to post a new chapter! Starting today, I'm going to post a new chapter every Sunday (with the exception of next week because I'll be on vacation)! Thanks so much for all the love on this story, it really means the world to me :,))

Kit didn’t see Ty until dinner that night. Neither one of them spoke to the other as they sat down on opposite sides of the table. Dru looked between the two of them suspiciously, as did Julian and Emma, but Kit attempted to act as normal as possible. It wasn’t like he and Ty were fighting or anything, they both just needed a moment to breathe and consider their talk with Livvy. Kit was sure that by tomorrow Ty would have another solution to how to find and send back any alternate dimension Livvys that may have slipped into their world. 

Ty met his eyes from across the table, a silent question forming on his face.  _ Is everything all right? _ Kit didn’t totally know yet, but he wanted it to be, so he gave Ty a reassuring smile. Ty hadn’t done anything wrong after all, Kit was simply caught off guard by the direction the conversation earlier had gone. Hopefully, if the subject was broached again, Kit would be able to get through it without having a panic attack. 

When Kit looked back up at Ty he saw that that the other boy’s headphones were wrapped over his ears, though Kit wasn’t sure if they were playing any sort of music or not. Kit had become so accustomed to random guests at the dinner table that tonight's crowd looked awfully small. Despite the fact that the Institute had added Jaime, Ash, and Kit to their table, the lack of Cristina, Mark, Magnus, Alec, and even Tessa, Jem, and Will made the room feel smaller somehow. Julian seemed to be on a mission to avoid eye contact with Kit at all costs, which was more than ok with Kit, though Emma appeared to be aiming for the opposite. 

She sat down beside him and tucked her hair behind her ear before nodding across the table at Ty, whose eyes were turned up towards the ceiling. “Trouble in paradise?” she asked quietly.

Kit shot her a glare. “No. It’s not your business if there were trouble anyway.”

“Oh, Kit,” Emma laughed, “Everything that happens around here is everyone else’s business. Surely you remember?”

“You and Julian did a fair job at keeping everyone out of your business,” Kit reasoned. She raised her eyebrows in amusement. “I mean, until you turned into flaming giants or whatever.”

Emma laughed again and Julian looked between the two of them in confusion, face softening when his gaze landed on Emma. Emma continued, “Break his heart and I’ll break your kneecaps.”

“Why does everyone always want to break  _ my _ kneecaps? Why can’t someone break someone else’s kneecaps  _ for  _ me?” Kit wondered aloud. Next to him on the other side, Ash perked up. 

“I’ll break someone’s kneecaps for you!” Ash said excitedly. Emma coughed into her palm, eyes dancing with laughter. 

“You know what? I’ll take it. Thanks bro,” Kit grinned. Not that he would ever ask Ash to break Ty’s kneecaps, but it was nice to have someone offer. 

Ash’s bright green eyes lit up. “Did you just call me bro?”

Oh no. “Yeah, I guess, but in the more colloquial ‘dude’, or ‘man’ type of way--”

“No, we’re real bros now, no take backs.”

Kit was too emotionally drained to argue. He put his head on the table without thinking and was startled back to the present by Emma’s voice. 

“Uh, Kit? You good?”

He lifted his head sheepishly. Ty was staring at him, one hand drifting up towards his headphones, question in his eyes. “I’m good,” Kit affirmed, “Just tired.”

This, however, was the wrong thing to say. He realized it the moment the words left his mouth, the moment Ty went red and Julian went pale. Emma’s eyes widened as she tried to stifle a laugh and Aline raised her eyebrows suggestively. The rest of the people at the table were blissfully unaware of tension stretched on a tenuous string. 

“Just kidding. I got lots of sleep. Not tired at all. That was a joke,” Kit stammered, which really wasn’t helping matters. 

“Did you, though?” Julian asked in a dead sort of voice. Emma smacked him on the arm causing him to widen his eyes innocently.

“Am I missing something?” Jaime whispered not so quietly to Dru. She shrugged her shoulders in response and met Kit’s eyes with furrowed brows. He looked away quickly, sure she would be able to read everything on his face. Ash leaned over to whisper in Kit’s ear, “Are you tired because of your sleepover?”

Kit choked on his saliva and stood abruptly. “I need to use the restroom.”

“Me too,” Ty said, pushing back his chair. He had half risen up to his feet when he was halted by a stare from Julian. “No, you don’t.”

“Julian, just let him go to the bathroom,” Helen said, confusion evident in her voice. Aline looked at her wife out of the corner of her eye but didn’t say anything, shooting Kit a small smirk. Dru was still considering Kit carefully, far too carefully. Truthfully, Kit didn’t care if everyone knew that he was in love with Ty, but this was not the exact time he would have chosen. Especially since the last time he and Ty had spoken had been a bit of a mess. It wasn’t like they were even dating or anything, Kit reminded himself with a pang. He didn’t know how serious Ty wanted to be with him.

“Julian?” Helen repeated, waving her hand in front of his face, which looked a million miles away. Kit took the opportunity to slip away, regardless of whether Ty would follow him or not. He actually found that he did have to use the bathroom, so he began to make his way upstairs. 

A knock came at the door as he finished washing his hands. Opening the door, he looked up to Ty’s somewhat hesitant face. “Can I come in?”

“It’s a bathroom…” Kit shrugged, gesturing with his hands at the surroundings. Ty closed the door softly behind him as he stepped inside. Kit leaned back against the countertop, back to the mirror. Ty looked like he wanted to pace, but there was limited opportunity, so he wrung his hands, wrapping his headphone cord around one hand then unwrapping it again in rapid succession.

“Are you still mad about earlier?” Ty asked, eyes on Kit’s hairline. Kit sighed and placed his hands on the counter. 

“Not mad… I just… it’s taken me so long deal with the guilt of what we did and why I helped you in the first place. Even if we do sort all of this out, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully get over it, you know?” Kit didn’t know if he was doing a good job explaining, but he was tired of letting his strong feelings for Ty stand in the way of his rationality. 

He continued, “I want to get to the bottom of this, want to send Livvy on, but I may as well just go back to Devon if dark magic is the only solution.”

A shadow crossed over Ty’s face. “Even if I’m here?”

“Even if you’re here.”

There was a beat of silence, but Kit didn’t back down. As much as he loved Ty, he couldn’t just bend to every one of Ty’s whims anymore, especially when they might not have the best repercussions. 

“I don’t want our story to end.” Ty said it in such a soft voice that Kit almost reached a hand out to touch his face. 

“You think I do?” Kit asked incredulously. “That’s the last thing I want. But I don’t think our story ever has a chance if you can’t move on from the last one.”

Kit worried he was overstepping, but he knew in his heart that Ty needed to hear these words. For a moment the only sound in the bathroom was a steady drip of water from one of the faucets, clearly broken. 

“I know.” Ty spoke at a level that was nearly inaudible. His eyes bunched closed, brows folding together. “I just don’t know if I can do it without her.”

“Hey,” Kit said, reaching over and pulling Ty’s face close to his. “You can. You know why?”

Ty shook his head, leaning into Kit’s hands, eyes still screwed shut. 

“Because you have Julian. And you have Helen. And Mark. And Dru. And Tavvy, and Emma, and Aline, and  _ me _ . We made all the wrong choices last time, but it still led us here.”

Ty opened his eyes, gray meeting blue and not looking away. 

Kit continued, “Maybe our story isn’t quite what I thought it would be, but it’s the one we have. It’s like one of those Choose Your Own Adventure novels. The only way to make it better is by making different choices than last time. Otherwise we’ll end up in an endless cycle of misery of which we have only ourselves to blame. We’re definitely still going to fuck up, but let’s not worry about those choices until they’re right in front of us. Take things one adventure at a time.”

“ _ Kit and Ty: One adventure at a time _ . It has a nice ring to it.”

Kit smiled at the response, and Ty smiled back. Kit moved his hands from Ty’s face to his hands. They both closed their eyes, pressing their foreheads together and breathing in synch.

“You’re a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for,” Ty said. Kit opened his eyes in surprise, pulling his forehead away from Ty. He released a small laugh. “What?”

“You heard me. I find it  _ extremely _ attractive,” Ty said with a light blush creeping up his neck and cheeks. Flirty Ty was definitely new, but Kit found that he liked him quite a bit. Kit leaned in and pressed a quick, chaste kiss on Ty’s lips. “I find everything about you extremely attractive.”

Ty flushed bright red and Kit laughed at his reaction. “We should probably get going before Julian has a heart attack.”

“Yeah,” Ty agreed, but neither of them moved. 

“Speaking of your family… should we tell them about… you know…” Kit trailed off. 

Ty shifted uncomfortably. “Julian and Emma are enough to deal with at the moment. I want to tell them, but I know they’ll make a bigger deal than necessary. Plus, they’ll never leave us alone again.”

Kit decided to test the waters further. “What exactly  _ would _ we tell them?”

Ty’s face clouded over, as if he hadn’t thought of that. “I don’t know. Are we-- are you-- you know--”

“Dating?” As soon as he said it Kit wished he could take it back. Not that he didn’t want to date Ty, but he didn’t know if that was something Ty wanted. Sometimes people preferred not to put a label on things, to be more casual. But Ty simply bit his lips together before responding, “Only if you want to.”

“Wait, what? You-- you want to date  _ me _ ? For real?”

“If you don’t want to you can just say so.”

“Are you kidding? I can’t tell if you’re kidding. I’ve told you I love you multiple times. What about that says ‘I most definitely do not want to date Tiberius Blackthorn’?” Kit asked incredulously. 

“So you--”

“Yes.”

“And you’re sure--”

“Yes. Are you?”

Ty nodded. “I think so.” He caught sight of Kit’s wary expression and amended. “Yes. I’m sure.” He laughed. “I think.” 

Kit laughed too. “Ok. One adventure at a time, right?”

“Right.”

“ _ Boyfriend _ .”

“Boyfriend.” Ty’s face broke into an exquisite grin. “Next adventure: can I kiss you?”

Kit pretended to hesitate before answering. “Hmm… let’s see. If I say yes, we kiss and it propels our story forward. If I say no, we have to go back a few pages. This really is a tough one.”

Barely a moment later their lips were pressed together and Kit was wrapping his hands around Ty’s face, pulling him in as close as possible. Ty’s hands were pressed up against the counter Kit was leaning on as he pushed forward into Kit, breathing in his very essence. In one quick motion, Ty wrapped his arms under Kit’s legs and hoisted him up onto the countertop, putting their faces at an even height. 

“Now you won’t have a sore neck,” Ty said with such sincerity that didn’t even bother pretending to be offended that Ty was so much taller than he was. Ty’s hands moved from Kit’s legs to his hips as they continued to kiss, each one better than the last. Kit’s own hands roved from Ty’s back to his neck, fingers itching to pull off his shirt. Not that that would be a very good idea at the moment, but it was tempting. 

The door to the bathroom banged open and Kit cursed his luck. Were they destined to be walked in on by every single person they knew? They really needed to remember to lock doors from now on. 

Jaime stood in the door with a blank expression on his face. Kit reluctantly removed his hands from Ty’s neck and Ty stepped back, allowing Kit to hop off the counter. 

“This explains a great many things,” Jaime said finally. Ty and Kit exchanged a glance. “Julian knows?”

They nodded. Jaime’s face went from contemplation to horror. “Dru doesn’t know.”

They shook their heads, causing Jaime to put his face into his hands. “Díos, this isn’t good. I’m not supposed to know these things before her. I can’t tell her either, but I also can’t  _ not _ tell her.”

“Litotes,” Kit whispered, causing Ty to smile briefly. 

“Huh?” Jaime asked, pausing his existential crisis. 

“Nothing,” Kit assured him.

Jaime began pacing outside the bathroom door, wringing his hands through his hair. “You guys have to tell her at this sleepover.”

“Sleepover?” Ty looked to Kit for an explanation. Kit summarized, “Ash wants to have a sleepover with you, me, Dru, and Jaime tonight. I kind of already told him we would all do it.”

“Oh,” Ty shrugged, clearly surprised, “Ok.”

“Promise me you’ll tell her tonight?” Jaime snapped in both of their faces to bring their focus back to him. “I don’t do well with secrets.”

“Didn’t you hide the fact that the Eternidad could be used by people without the Rosales name from Zara Dearborn for like, a year, or something?” Kit argued. 

Jaime gave him a pained look. “The only way I did that was to go on the run. I would prefer to avoid that in this instance.”

“Fair enough,” Kit shrugged. “Well, shall we go have our sleepover then?”

Jaime shook his head in defeat. “This is going to be one hell of a sleepover.”

“It better be,” Kit laughed, looping one arm around Jaime and taking Ty’s hand with the other as they exited the bathroom. “Maybe we can play truth or dare,” he teased. 

Jaime laughed. “If we play truth or dare, I’m out.”

“I’ve never played truth or dare,” Ty admitted shyly. 

“Don’t worry,” Kit assured him, “We’re not going to play truth or dare.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


	24. More Than You Thought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's sleepover time my dudes
> 
> TW: discussion of depression and suicide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to have been MIA for so long, but I'm back to posting a new chapter every Sunday! Sorry it's so late this Sunday, I've been busy busy busy

They were playing truth or dare.

Ty kept looking at Kit with an expression of discomfort mixed with amusement. He had felt better once Kit had assured him that he wouldn’t be the only one who had never played before, as there was no way Ash had ever done anything this stereotypically human before. Jaime, despite his earlier claims, had been the one to suggest the game. Kit knew that Jaime was waiting for him to say something about his relationship with Ty and hoped the topic wouldn’t pop up during their game. He didn’t think Dru would be upset or anything, but truth or dare wasn’t the most optimal time to tell her something like that. 

“Truth or dare?” Ash asked Ty. His face was alight with such childlike wonder that Kit was almost happy that they were playing the game, having a sleepover. 

“Truth,” he answered, blushing beautifully. He had only chosen truth so far, but Kit was determined to get him to do a dare at some point later in the night. Kit, on the other hand, had chosen dare to avoid the glances Jaime was giving him, knowing that he wanted Kit to tell Dru about the fact that he was dating Ty.  

Ash bounced excitedly where he sat on the floor. “What is your favorite animal?”

Jaime groaned. All of Ash’s truth or dare questions had been blissfully innocent so far, which Kit thought was probably a good thing. Besides, Ty looked overjoyed to answer this question. 

“I can’t really just pick one…” Ty blushed, face alight with energy. “There’s axolotls, the red crested tree rat, the angel shark…” his eyes shifted furtively to Kit before he reddened deeper and eked out, “Golden retriever puppies…”   

Kit raised his eyebrows. Did he remind Ty of a golden retriever puppy? That wasn’t the worst animal comparison, Ty could have related him to a blobfish or something. 

Dru narrowed her eyes. “Fascinating. All right, my turn. Kit, truth or dare?”

“Dare.” 

Her eyes sparkled mischievously but he wasn’t too worried about what she would come up with. “I dare you to give anyone but me a kiss on the cheek.”

In truth, he would have kissed any of them on the cheek, but the fact that he was with Ty now, without Dru knowing, provided a conundrum. If he kissed Ty, she would be suspicious, and that wasn’t the exact circumstance he would have hoped to share information about their relationship. If he didn’t kiss Ty, though, he worried how Ty might react. Would Ty think he was embarrassed, or didn’t want to kiss him?

Dru raised her eyebrows at him, likely wondering why he was taking so long.  _ Fuck it _ , he thought, and turned his head to the right, where Ty was sitting beside him, and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. 

“I’m hurt.” Jaime clutched his chest in mock pain. Kit laughed and leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek as well, then Ash. After he did so, he let his fingers touch Ty’s briefly to let him know that their kiss was the only one that mattered to him. Ty gently squeezed back, reassuring him that he knew. 

Kit wiggled his eyebrows at Dru, showing her that she wasn’t going to get him that easily. She rolled her eyes good naturedly as Ty turned to Jaime. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” Jaime said confidently. Kit snorted, which earned him an unamused glance from Dru. Ty’s eyes glazed over as he thought, coming up with what was sure to be the perfect dare. Kit loved how much care and attention he put into every little thing he did. 

“I dare you to sneak out of the Institute without Julian catching you,” Ty said at last, soft smile showing how pleased he was with his dare. Kit had to admit, it was a good one. If he had gotten it, he probably wouldn’t have been able to pull it off. Jaime gave them all a defeated looking grin. Even he knew how this was bound to turn out. 

In a stroke of inspiration, Kit turned to Ash. “Can you turn the four of us invisible so we can see what happens?”

Ash smiled with a wicked grin that looked out of place on his usually innocent face. It was the kind of smile that Kit was sure he had inherited from both his mother and his father, wicked as they were, but the way Ash wore it made it warm and conspiratorial, rather than cold and cruel. “I thought you’d never ask.”

To Kit’s surprise, Jaime almost made it outside without getting caught. He had only barely opened the door when Julian’s voice came from the top of the stairs. 

“Just what exactly are you doing?”

Jaime turned around with a wide smile that Kit was coming to associate with his discomfort. “Going for a walk. The night air is good, helps me sleep.”

“I thought you were with Dru and the others, having a sleepover or something.” Julian’s voice was groggy, like he had awoken from a deep sleep. 

Jaime nodded. “We are… I just couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to bother anyone.”

“Oh. Ok,” Julian said. 

There were no other words spoken for a while and Kit realized Julian must have gone back to bed. Did they really get so lucky or had Julian just eased up on his strictness in the years Kit had been absent from the lives of the Blackthorns?

Jaime looked around with wide, somewhat confused, eyes before turning to where he assumed the rest of them stood invisible. “I have a dare for all of us.”

When no one interjected he continued, genuine grin spreading across his face, “I dare us all to leave the Institute for the night and explore the city.”

Kit grinned and added, “I dare us all to not come back until the sun comes up.”

“I dare us all to try to sneak back in when morning comes without getting caught.” Dru’s voice came from Kit’s left, alight with the passion only promise of an adventure can bring. 

Ash cut in, “I dare us all to each do something we’ve never done before.” His voice was soft and hesitant, but strong. Kit smiled at this, not entirely sure why. 

“I dare us all to have the greatest night of our lives,” Ty finished, finding Kit’s hand even though they were invisible, giving it a small squeeze before dropping it. 

With Ty’s final proclamation, Jaime opened the door and beckoned for them all to follow him into the night, only dropping their guise of invisibility once they were safely off Institute grounds.

Jaime took off immediately at a run, Ash not far behind. Ty gave a short glance back at Kit before following, wonder shining in his beautiful gray eyes. The night air nipped at their faces and the stars provided a guiding light for them to bask in the moment, each moment, as if it were their first and their last. 

It was exhilarating to be out in the city like this, much more so than it would have been during the day. Kit wasn’t entirely sure why, maybe it was just the magic of believing that they were getting away with something, being normal rebellious teenagers for the night rather than the constantly on guard Shadowhunters they were every other day. As cliche as it sounded, the night was young and so were they. All they had to lose were each other, and yet that was the one thing they had no worry of losing at all.         

Kit and Dru trailed behind everyone, Kit’s eyes on Ty’s back. He was gesticulating wildly with Ash, pointing out various interesting things he noticed in the night, things that only Ty would notice. 

“Truth or dare,” Dru said. Kit blinked his attention back to her, but she was looking out at the horizon wistfully. 

“Truth,” he answered. 

“How long have you been in love with my brother?”

The question caught him off guard much more than it should have. He probably should have realized Dru was more perceptive than he thought, and also should have realized that his constant state of lovestruck wonder would be noticeable to people other than he and Ty. 

Tired of having to hide himself, and remembering his promise to Jaime, Kit answered truthfully. “Three years.”

“You loved him even then?” Dru’s voice was curious, not accusatory, but Kit heard the unspoken question.  _ If you loved him back then, why did you leave?  _

He wasn’t sure he could explain it to her, he had barely been able to explain it to Ty, to himself, even. Ignoring her question, he posed one of his own. “Truth or dare?”

She raised her eyebrows, but said nothing other than, “Truth.”

“Why didn’t you try to reach out to me these past three years?” Her gaze shifted to the ground immediately. He knew that the lost connection between him and the Blackthorns had been his fault for the most part, but after such a long time, they should have been able to maintain a connection with him if they wanted to. After all, when he left them he had left the first real family he had ever really known. 

While most of his thoughts over the years had been consumed with black hair and gray eyes, he did spend a good amount of time considering the others he had left behind. Emma had reached out to him, maintained a connection. He thought that maybe she saw a little bit of herself in him, and that was why she was so determined to be there for him if he needed her. It meant more to him than he could even put into words that she had even put in any effort at all. During the periods where his brain went so dark that memories of light seemed to be a lie he’d told himself, Emma had been there to guide him out of it, and he would never forget that. 

Had he not hurt Ty, Kit was sure that Julian would have been there for him as well. It wasn’t as though Julian was ever cold with him anyway, but there was a strange distance between the two of them that Kit attributed to his abrupt departure and the effects it’d had on Ty. He hadn’t expected anything from Mark, Cristina, or Tavvy, as he hadn’t spent much time with any of them and Tavvy was still seven years old when he left.

Dru, though, didn’t know the extent of what went down between he and Ty, and didn’t have the same parent-child relationship that Julian had with Ty, so what was her excuse for leaving him alone all these years? Maybe he’d hurt her too, but if he were in her place, he would have wanted to know why he hurt her, why he disappeared without a word. 

“I didn’t know what to say,” Dru answered at last, eyes still focused on the ground in front of her. “I thought you and Ty just used me for what you did with Livvy. You acted like you wanted to be my friend and then you disappeared and I found out what you’d been doing with Ty that whole time. I thought that everything had been fake from your end.”

“It wasn’t,” Kit said, before she could get another word in, “I really did want to be your friend Dru. It’s just… I was in a really bad place for a really long time after everything that happened with Ty. If I hadn’t have had Jem and Tessa I don’t…” he paused, unsure of how much he wanted to share. He had never really talked about this with anyone before, not even Jem and Tessa. 

He pushed on, deciding that he trusted Dru to understand, not to judge or think any less of him, “If I didn’t have Jem and Tessa I don’t think I would still be here today.”

Her head snapped up as she met his gaze, eyes wide. “Not just because of what happened with Ty, though that was a really big part of it,” he said. His voice was shaking slightly, as much as he willed it not to. 

“I’m better now,” he assured her, “Will being born really helped, and then Emma reaching out to me. Sure I still have bad days, weeks, sometimes even months, but I try not to let it get as bad as it was. My family helps with that. And now Ty does too.”

“Kit, I’m so-- if I had any idea I would have run all the way to Devon, believe me, I would have.” Dru’s voice was stern and emotional, and he believed every word. 

He shook his head. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Sometimes our brains just decide to fuck with us for no reason, and it’s no one’s fault. I’m glad we’re friends again, though, I really mean it.”

Dru smiled and pulled him into a tight hug, nearly toppling them both over. “I am too. I promise I’ll always be your friend, no matter what, if you promise to let me know if and when your brain decides to fuck with your life.”

Just hearing her say that meant more to Kit than he could possibly put into words. Tears trailed softly down his cheeks as he squeezed her tighter. “I promise.”

They held each other in silence for a moment, Kit was still crying and he had a feeling Dru might have been too, judging by the shakiness of her breaths. When he pulled away he made eye contact with Ty, who was a little ways ahead of them, brows crinkled together. Jaime and Ash were still off in their own world, not noticing that Dru and Kit had stopped. Dru looked over as well, catching Ty’s gaze and looking back at Kit. 

“You should tell him, you know,” Dru said. 

Kit bit his lip. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to go into all of that with Ty, especially while their relationship was so new. “I will. I just want to wait a little bit, I think. It was hard enough telling you just now. You’re the only person I’ve talked to about any of this.”

Dru narrowed her eyes and cocked her head slightly. “I wasn’t talking about… I mean, I guess you should talk to him about all of this eventually, but I meant that you should tell him how you feel about him. I’m honestly amazed he hasn’t caught on yet, you’re not exactly subtle.”

Kit flushed immediately. Right, she didn’t know about them yet. This was going to be slightly uncomfortable, but at least Jaime would get his wish. “The thing about that is, uh, well… you see… we, uh,” Kit stammered, unsure of how to go about this, “We’re… dating. Like, boyfriends. And all that.”

Dru punched him hard in the arm. “Are you fucking kidding me!”

Kit was ready to defend himself, but she was laughing. “I was about two seconds away from yelling at the two of you to just kiss already, but apparently we’re past that.”

Kit nodded, laughing with her. “Definitely past that.”

She raised her eyebrows and he realized how that must have sounded. “Not what you’re thinking! God, that sounded… not that it’s any of your business anyway.”

“I know what you meant Kit,” Dru said, genuine smile on her face, “You’re happy?”

“I am,” he said, and he meant it. 

“Earlier when you had an attack… is that all good now?”

“Yeah, thank you again for that, by the way. It’s all good, just needed a little communication.” 

She nodded. “Good, I’m glad. I knew something was different… I guess I should have realized. Ty’s practically been glowing since we got back from faerie. Speaking of which, I need  _ all _ the details.”

He raised his eyebrows, and she amended, “Ok, not  _ all  _ the details, but I need to know how and when exactly this all happened. Spill.”

Kit took another glance at Ty, at his  _ boyfriend _ , stooped over investigating some small insect or animal. He was so fucking lucky. “All right,” he said, and began to fill her in, smiling all the while, ready to scream his love for Ty from the rooftops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


	25. City Of Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Highly recommend listening to this while you read this chapter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR5USHu6D6U

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is definitely one of my favorite chapters I've written so far, so I hope you like it (and it's inspired by one of my favorite movies) ;))

Kit felt no hesitation about holding Ty’s hand as they walked through the streets of Los Angeles. Now that Dru and Jaime knew, there was no holding back. He hadn’t explicitly said anything to Ash, but he could tell that Ash understood the significance of them walking hand in hand. 

“As fun as this is,” Jaime said, jogging a bit in front of everybody, “This is supposed to be the best night ever, not just a pretty good night.”

“This is already the best night of my life,” Ash said so sincerely that Kit kind of wanted to pull him into a hug. He suppressed the urge, pulling Ty a little bit closer to him instead. Ty responded by leaning over and planting a soft kiss on the top of his head, stunning Kit slightly. The action had almost been instinctive, like Ty hadn’t even thought about doing it or cared who might see. That alone warmed Kit to his very bones, the fact that Ty felt comfortable enough to display these outward signs of affection without thinking too much about it. 

Dru looked at Kit, and he knew what she was thinking before she said a word. “Crimey things?” she prompted, slow smile creeping across her face. 

“Julian will kill us all,” he countered, but she brushed his comment off. 

“Julian doesn’t have to know.”

“Julian  _ always _ knows,” he argued, but he knew his efforts were in vain. Ty’s left hand, clasped in Kit’s right, got a bit tense and Kit squeezed it once to let him know they wouldn’t be doing anything too crazy. He contemplated for a minute, thinking through their options. Obviously, they weren’t going to kill anyone (plus, they hadn’t brought any weapons), and theft was so passé, but there weren’t many options available to them regardless. 

Ty’s hand had relaxed in Kit’s and his gaze was once again turned up to the night sky, breathing in the air and admiring the stars. Suddenly he knew exactly what they were going to do. 

“Have any of you ever been to the Griffith Observatory?” he asked. He figured Jaime hadn’t, knew Ash hadn’t, and hoped Ty and Dru hadn’t. He himself had only ever been there once after he and his dad had watched  _ Rebel Without a Cause _ and he’d begged his dad to take him to the place with the ‘cool circly buildings’. At the time he had been underwhelmed, not totally comprehending what he was seeing and why, distraught by the lack of stormtroopers and lightsabers. 

As predicted, Ash looked completely confused, but Jaime, Dru, and Ty all shook their heads. Kit smiled mischievously. “Well, Ferb, I know what we’re going to do today.”

Ignoring the confused glances exchanged by his friends, not willing to accept that he was the only one with knowledge of the greatest tv show in the universe, he took off at a run, pulling Ty along with him and hoping the others would follow. 

People barely spared them a glance as they rushed by, even though none of them were even wearing glamour runes. That was the beauty of a big city, Kit supposed, the ability to be normal doing the least normal things. Everyone had seen things so weird that the everyday weird didn’t seem so weird after all. 

They only stopped on their way to the observatory to get ice cream, as they were all hungry and it was a matter of extreme distress that Ash had never tried it before. Obviously, he enjoyed it immensely, it was impossible to not like ice cream in Kit’s opinion. 

Soon the Griffith Observatory loomed in front of them and Kit turned to address Dru. “This is where the crimey stuff comes in. You see, it’s pretty late and the observatory is most definitely closed, so we’re going to have to break in.”

He looked to Ty first for a reaction, just to make sure he was ok with all of this. Kit had expected to see some hesitation on Ty’s face, but all he saw was a light in Ty’s eyes that sparked a feeling deep inside Kit. He was reminded then that Ty didn’t necessarily like the rules, especially when they interfered with his agenda. It was part of what had caused Kit to fall so hard for him in the first place, and part of what had caused Kit to leave him years ago. 

Kit let Dru take the lead after reminding her of the various ways he had learned to pick locks throughout his childhood. There were many things he regretted about the way he had grown up and things that he would have changed, but this wasn’t one of them. Growing up the way he had had shaped him into who he was today, so he supposed it couldn’t have all been bad. 

The door clicked open after about five minutes of Dru working on the lock. It would have taken him less time, sure, but the look on her face when it opened was worth the extra time. The five of them slipped inside, locking the door behind them as they did. Kit was honestly surprised by the lack of difficulty they had getting in. He was almost certain that there were security cameras all over, monitoring their every movement, but wasn’t that part of the fun? It wasn’t like they would ever actually have to reap any consequence of breaking in as long as they were at the Institute. 

Kit led them through the various rooms and hallways, eyes trailing the floors, ceilings, walls, anything they found interesting. It was strange being back here again after so long, but he was glad they were. 

“Do you think we can get to the roof?” Dru asked. “I know most of the rooftops are domed, but I bet the view is breathtaking.”

Jaime broke into a wicked grin. “Dare me to find a way?”

She nodded fervently, smiling with the same sort of fire. Jaime gestured them after him and Ash followed readily, Ty ready to as well before Kit held him back. 

“You guys go on, I have something I want to show Ty,” Kit said, hoping they would take the hint. Dru and Jaime exchanged an annoying but expected glance before nodding, pulling a confused Ash behind them as they left in search of a way to the roof. 

“You don’t want to see the stars from the roof?” Ty asked earnestly. Kit shook his head, taking Ty’s hand and leading him away without a word. They wandered around together, taking in everything until Kit found what he was looking for. 

He stepped into the dark planetarium, making sure not to accidentally hit the lights. Ty trailed behind him hesitantly. “Are you sure we should be in here?”

Kit shrugged, not giving an answer but posing a different question. “Why go see the stars from the roof when I can bring the stars to you?”

Ty smiled slightly, brows furrowing to the center of his forehead. “That’s impossible. Even with your crazy faerie magic.”

“Oh yeah?” he teased, feeling around in the dark for the lever he was looking for and praying to whatever angel was listening that it was the right one. He took a deep breath, holding it as he lowered the lever and the stars lit up their own personal universe. 

Ty let out a small gasp that filled Kit’s heart with immense joy. He would bring the moon down from the sky for Ty if he asked, but he decided that this would have to do for now. 

“It’s beautiful,” Ty said breathlessly, never taking his eyes off the manufactured sky. Kit walked back over to stand beside him, turning his eyes up to the lights as well. 

“Better than faerie?” Kit joked, surprised when Ty answered, “Yes,” without a hint of hesitation. 

Ty’s face was sheepish as he finally drew his gaze down to meet Kit’s. “Faerie was beautiful too… but I’d rather be here with you than under the light of a million multicolored stars feeling like you’re so far away I could never reach you.”

Kit’s heart pulsed, racing fast enough that he was sure it showed on his face. He took another step closer to Ty and held out a hand. “Tiberius Blackthorn, may I have this dance?”

Ty reached out, stopping just before they could touch. “I’m not very good at dancing. Besides, we don’t have music.”

“You have your headphones,” Kit pointed out but Ty shook his head.

“You won’t be able to hear it.”

Kit shrugged and pulled Ty’s headphones from around his neck over his ears. “I don’t need to. I trust you to lead me.”

Ty gave Kit a small, hesitant smile and pulled off the headphones. “I can just play something out loud.”

“Ok,” Kit said without argument, a little breathless from standing so close to Ty as if he’d never done this before. Ty pulled out his phone to choose a song, smiling softly and biting his top lip when he clicked on one.

The air filled with the sounds of string instruments, sounds mixing together so beautifully that Kit was thrown off for a moment, blinking a few times to keep the tears from his eyes. What the hell was this? When had he ever cried over classical music before? Ty took his hand, placing his other on Kit’s back. Kit replicated the movement, taking a deep breath and looking into Ty’s eyes as he waited for Ty to lead. 

Ty closed his eyes, lashes splaying over his pale cheeks. His entire face was lit up purple and blue under the light of the planetarium. He looked even more ethereal than normal and Kit drank in the sight, never wanting to forget it. 

At last, Ty took a step back, Kit taking a step forward, and before they knew it, they were dancing. It was a struggle at first, Kit almost tripping over his own feet a fair number of times. Ty, it seemed, was as good at this as he was at most everything he did, moving with grace and elegance.  _ Not a good dancer my ass _ , Kit thought fondly as he attempted to keep up. 

Ty spun Kit at a peak of the music, letting them be drawn apart before he pulled them back together, closer than before. Kit’s breathing was shallow, and not because he was tired. He closed his eyes, letting Ty’s hands and the sound of the music take him over completely.

The music crescendo came in a series of descending scales, causing Kit to open his eyes when he felt the tears fall from them. Everything was so perfect in that moment, so free, so beautiful. He wanted to preserve this moment in time and never let it go, capture the way the stars were reflected in the bright silver light of Ty’s eyes, the way that they held one another like there was no one else in the world that mattered at all. 

Kit was so wrapped up in Ty that he didn’t even realize when the music ended, still clinging onto him with tears in his eyes. The silence that then folded over them became deafening, breaking them out of their daze, but they didn’t break contact with one another. Ty held Kit closer than ever as he lowered their foreheads together and looked up through his lashes to meet Kit’s eyes. “I love you Kit.”

Kit’s heart stopped beating, lungs collapsing, brain folding in on itself. Then, in an instant, his entire body restarted, processing the words. He smiled, eyes closing involuntarily. “I love you too, in every universe.”

Ty extracted his hands from Kit’s grip to come up and cup Kit’s face. Kit leaned into the touch, lost in the way he felt, lost in the way Ty felt about him. “Je t’aime Christopher. Te amo, ich liebe dich, jeg elsker deg, is breá liom tú, ik hou van jou, I love you, I love you, I love you. In every language, in every universe.”

Kit closed the small gap between them, pressing their lips together gently and folding his arms around Ty’s neck. Ty pulled back first, opening his eyes and gazing at the false sky, a world of their own, at least for the night. 

When he looked down at Kit his eyes were full of life, love and everything in between. “You aren’t in love without me anymore, you never were.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


	26. Toi et Moi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> name a softer couple, i'll wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme know here or on tumblr if (once I'm done with this fic, if that ever happens) you want a kitty soulmate au or a kitty instagram au ;))

Going to the kitchen for breakfast the following morning was terrifying. They had snuck back into the Institute through Ty’s perpetually open window, glad they had told everyone that’s where they were spending the night. Kit and Ty had taken Ty’s bed, avoiding Dru’s stare as they did so, but she was so tired she didn’t have any pointed comments to throw their way. It’s not like they did anything, anyway, they just pressed against one another, Ty’s head curled on Kit’s chest like a cat, Kit running an idle hand through his hair until they were both asleep. They had done it, had snuck in and out without being caught, and now they could rest after coming down from such an amazing high.

Everything was different in the morning light. Had they really gotten away with it or was this the calm before the storm? Would they go downstairs to see Julian’s disapproving stare burning into them from Emma’s side? They would never know until they mustered the courage to face the rest of the Blackthorns, Kit supposed. 

They decided to all go down in a pack to hopefully provide some sort of a united front. They had agreed to play dumb if presented with questions, but Kit didn’t know if one of them might break under pressure. Julian could still be terrifying if he wanted to be. 

Helen and Aline were sitting at the counter with their daughter, feeding her whatever it was that toddlers ate. “Fun sleepover?” Helen asked with a smile. 

This was a good start, Kit thought, just play it cool. Ash smiled widely. “So fun! I’ve never had a sleepover before, but now I want to have one every night.”

Helen laughed, “Maybe not every night… you all didn’t get much sleep from the looks of it. Plus, it’s nearly one in the afternoon.”

Shit, was it? 

“Oh, you know us teenagers Helen, out of control,” Dru joked. Kit nudged her lightly in the side and she nudged him back, less subtly. Helen furrowed her brows. “You good?”

“Yeah, Kit just wanted me to ask if Julian was going to make pancakes,” Dru covered with ease. 

“We can’t have pancakes for breakfast every day, you know,” Aline chimed in, still scooping toddler goop into their daughter’s mouth. 

Kit looked at it in disdain. “Better than whatever the hell that is.”

“Kit! Language!” Helen moved to cover their child’s ears, but Aline looked like she was trying to keep from laughing. 

“Shit! Sorry!” he amended quickly, half smirk on his face, “I promise not to say ‘whatever’ anymore.”

Helen leveled him with a Julian like glare that almost made Kit fear for his life. At least this was distracting Helen and Aline from asking any questions about their sleepover. Kit didn’t know where the rest of the Institute inhabitants were, but he was glad that everything seemed to be going somewhat smoothly for once. 

“You’re back!” Dru yelled suddenly and Kit turned to the source of interruption. It seemed Mark and Cristina had returned from faerie, Julian and Emma trailing in behind them. 

“That we are,” Mark confirmed, folding his sister into a hug, grinning widely. Cristina smiled at them all before making her way over to help Aline and Helen with their daughter, gesticulating wildly at the interruption. 

“How was Kieran?” Kit asked conversationally, leaning against the counter. It was a good thing Cristina and Mark had returned, especially if it kept Julian from asking any questions about their night. 

“Wonderful,” Mark answered wistfully, causing Cristina to shoot him a not so subtle glare. Kit coughed into his hand to hide a laugh, catching Jaime’s eye as he did the same. 

Cristina cut in. “He and the court of Unseelie are completely on board for the musical. We heard from Alec on our way back that the warlocks and werewolves are in too. The vampires only hesitation is stage lighting.” 

The absurdity of it all made Kit laugh, not trying to cover it up this time. “I never really thought about that…” 

“I don’t think any of us did,” Emma agreed, coming over to stand next to Kit and ruffling his hair affectionately. 

“Have we missed anything exciting?” Cristina asked, grinning at all of them sweetly. Julian’s eyes met Kit’s for a brief moment. Exciting wasn’t the exact word he would have used, but there was in fact plenty of things that they had missed. 

“We had a sleepover last night!” Ash said excitedly, turning Cristina’s full attention to him. 

“Yeah? All of you?” she looked at Emma as she asked, biting her lip. 

Ash laughed at the assumption. “No, no. Just me, my brother, Dru, her brother, and Jaime.”

“Not your brother,” Kit cut in, everyone ignoring his rebuttal. 

“How was that, by the way,” Emma asked, mostly focusing on Kit and Ty. Kit shot her a glare before answering. “It was fine. We didn’t do much.”     

“How was your walk Jaime?” Julian chimed in from where he was making pancakes,  _ again _ . Kit couldn’t complain, though. Even though his wish for pancakes had been an improvisation on Dru’s part, he would still eat them whenever he could. 

Jaime went red. “It was good. Fresh air and all that.”

Julian continued, in an even, almost casual voice, “Must have done a lot of walking, there are quite a few footprints outside.”

Kit and Dru exchanged a glance, staying silent and waiting to see just how much Julian knew before they said a word. Jaime nodded and confessed, “Yeah, I was out there for a while. Couldn’t sleep.”

“Of course,” Julian conceded, turning back to his pancakes. Jaime flushed redder and Kit was suddenly reminded of Jaime telling him the night before that he was a terrible liar. 

“I was practicing some dance steps,” Jaime continued, “For the musical. I really want to be a part of it but I don’t know that much about singing and dancing so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to practice, right? This way I’ll have a leg up on everyone. That’s kind of a funny saying, isn’t it? A leg up. Whoever coined the phrase must have been very flexible. Not in like, a kinky way, just in like a dancey way. Maybe. We should look up who started saying that, see if they were a dancer. Wow! Wouldn’t that be wild? Maybe they could give me some pointers…”

Jaime continued to ramble, earning confused and slightly suspicious glances from everyone that hadn’t been present at their sleepover. Dru met Kit’s eyes again, trying to communicate with him silently.

_ Do something _ , her eyes seemed to urge, but what could he do? He could do a flip, that would definitely distract everyone. He ceased his leaning against the counter to find a better space to do a flip but was drawn back by someone slipping their hand into his. 

“Kit is my boyfriend,” Ty said suddenly, tightening his grip on Kit’s hand. 

A thick layer of silence filled the air as Jaime finally stopped talking nearly everyone turned to them in shock, even the ones who already knew. Ty looked at Kit expectantly, but Kit had no idea what to do or say, opting for a thumbs up that had Dru putting her face in her hands. 

“But what about the boy that you love, Christopher?” Mark said to Kit in a whisper that was not as much of a whisper as Mark had clearly intended it to be. Kit leveled him with a stare, eyebrows raised as he waited for Mark to put it all together. “Ohhhh…” he said at last, multicolored eyes sparkling with what Kit hoped was happiness, not the urge to murder Kit. 

“Wait a minute… you knew about this?” Helen’s voice said suddenly. She was looking murderously at her wife, whose face was the picture of innocence. 

“I knew nothing,” Aline maintained, “After all, they were just getting snacks out of the pantry, right?”

Kit felt his face warm uncomfortably and Ty’s tightened grip on his hand told him that they were likely feeling the same thing. There was another beat of silence before Kit felt his lunged being crushed. Was he dying? Had one of them attacked him? But no-- the family had engulfed the two of them in one giant hug. Kit’s eyes found Ty’s instinctively, wanting to make sure he was ok with this amount of physical touch from so many people, but Ty’s eyes were crinkling at the sides, mouth split into a wide grin. He looked happy, Kit realized, almost relieved.  _ You aren’t in love without me anymore, you never were _ , Ty had said last night, but Kit only just now believed him. 

When the family let them go, Kit pulled Ty closer to him and stood on his tiptoes to press a kiss to Ty’s templed. Ty’s responding smile was so dazzling that Kit stumbled a bit as he lowered himself back down to stand flat footed. Dru snorted out a laugh, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be bothered. 

He looked away from Ty and his heart stopped suddenly as he saw the way he and Ty were being looked at. There was so much love and support coming from the faces of everyone around them that it almost made Kit feel inadequate. He hadn’t done anything to warrant this, aside from loving Ty, but even so, he had prepared himself for the worst reactions from the family. Did they really think that he was good enough for Ty?  _ He _ didn’t even think he was good enough for Ty, didn’t think anyone was. 

“Just  _ please _ don’t go all Emma and Julian on us, you don’t even want to know the number of times I’ve walked in on them,” Cristina said sternly before she was cut off by Emma’s exasperated, “Tina!”

“As if you, Mark, and Kieran can talk,” Julian joked, pulling Emma closer to him. She melted into his side like she was born to be there. Kit supposed she was, if there was ever a pair of soulmates in this word, it was Emma and Julian. 

“Oh my god,” Kit said suddenly, brain turning at the mention of Kieran. He turned to face Mark and Cristina, both of whom looked to him in bewilderment. “I think I’m related to Kieran.”

The two of them processed this for a moment before looking at each other with wide eyes. “I think you’re right,” Cristina confirmed, laughing a little bit. 

“Not fair,” Ash cut in, “How do you keep getting so many new brothers?”

Kit was too deep in his own mind to correct Ash. “I have no idea.”

It  _ was _ strange how he had grown up with only his dad to rely on only to find that he was one of two surviving members of the Herondale line, to then be adopted into a growing family with Jem and Tessa, and find out that his mother’s side of the family may have yielded him more relatives than he ever would have thought possible. He shivered thinking about all the faeries he was related to solely from the Unseelie King’s endless dalliances. 

“You guys should start a band,” Jaime suggested, “You, Kieran, and Ash. All the faerie misfits in one place.”

“I wouldn’t necessarily say that the Unseelie King and heir to the Seelie Court are misfits,” Kit countered. 

Jaime ignored him, cocking his head. “Kieran would have to go blond, though. Actually… Kit how would you feel about dying your hair red?”

Kit nearly choked. “What-ing my what now?” 

“Eh, no matter, we’ll work out the details later,” Jaime reassured him. “In the meantime, the five of us have some work to do on that super special mission the Consul assigned us so… adios.”

Kit, Ty, Dru, and Ash followed without hesitation, eager to be out of the scrutiny of the others. Jaime turned to face them all once they were out of earshot. “I really just wanted an excuse to take a nap, and I’m sure you all want the same so thank me later.” He saluted all of them and jogged the rest of the way to his room, leaving them all staring after him in exasperation. 

“Sleeping wouldn’t hurt,” Dru agreed after a moment, and the rest of them nodded along. Kit paused outside of Ty’s door after Dru and Ash had walked away, eyes flicking between Ty and the open door. 

“You didn’t have to do that, you know,” Kit said, “Say I was your boyfriend.”

Ty merely shrugged. “Well, you are, and most everyone knew already. Plus, it stopped them from questioning us about last night.”

“That’s true. But seriously, are you sure you’re ok with--” Kit could barely start to speak before Ty cut him off with a quick peck on the lips. 

“Does that answer your question?”

“Maybe you should try again, just to make sure,” Kit suggested, still a little dazed from the unexpected affection.

Ty rolled his eyes but obliged, pressing an equally soft but slightly deeper kiss to Kit’s lips. “Do you want to… take a nap?”

Kit met Ty’s eyes, trying to ascertain whether Ty was asking what he thought he was asking. “Together?” 

Ty nodded, eyes dropping to the floor. Kit grinned, taking Ty’s hand and pulling him into the room. “I thought you’d never ask.”

“I do just want to sleep, though,” Ty clarified as Kit flopped on the bed. Kit shrugged. “That’s fine, I’m still pretty tired.”

“Really?”

“Really.” 

“Ok,” Ty smiled, laying down beside Kit. “Do you mind if I play music?” 

“Not at all. I do have one request, though.” Kit turned to lay on his side, face close to Ty’s, noses almost brushing. “Can you play the song from last night?”

“The pas de deux?” 

“I don’t know what it was called, the one we danced to.”

Ty nodded and repeated. “The pas de deux. It’s from the Nutcracker.”

“It’s beautiful. Just like you.” Kit tapped Ty lightly on the nose, causing Ty to scrunch up his face adorably. Kit laughed, closing his eyes and settling onto his other side, not wanting to disturb Ty’s sleep. Most times when they had fallen asleep together he’d awoken with Ty’s head on his chest, but he didn’t want to push anything, especially when he didn’t know all of Ty’s comfort levels yet. 

Soft music filled the room, the song Kit had come to love above all others, and he felt arms wrap around him from behind, legs tangling with his. Ty’s head came to rest on Kit’s shoulder. “Is this ok?” he asked. 

“Yes,” Kit said immediately. It was more than ok. He would stay like this forever if he could. 

“I love you Christopher,” Ty mumbled softly into Kit’s hair. 

“I love you Tiberius,” Kit responded breathlessly. 

Yeah, he could get used to this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


	27. The Art Of Detaching One's Own Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things have been happy for too long ;)

Kit found a steady rhythm at the Institute over the next couple weeks. Most mornings, to Julian’s endless exasperation, he woke up next to Ty, legs and hands tangled together like puzzle pieces connecting just right. He never tired of the sight of Ty, hair ruffled from sleep, blinking up at him with sleepy eyes and a soft smile. 

Kit had even taken to helping Julian in the kitchen, finding that he actually wasn’t a terrible cook when he had proper instruction. He had originally started helping out to get on Julian’s good side, but he found he enjoyed the task quite a bit. Dru even said that his pancakes were better than Julian’s, though he would never repeat it to anyone. 

Ash was adjusting as well, much better than any of them had hoped. He seemed less childlike now, more used to the things that they had never had to get used to. There were still moments, though, where his green eyes would get wide and his smile would light up his whole face, and he would marvel at the world like it was something brand new and worth celebrating. In some ways Kit envied Ash’s ability to continually see the best in things despite his tumultuous upbringing in both courts of faerie. 

They hadn’t made much headway on their task, still reluctant to use any sort of magic to find any parallel universe Livvys that might be out there waiting to be sent home. Since they were at a standstill in this process, more time had been dedicated to training and, as great as Jem was, he was no Emma Carstairs. Kit was still deciding whether that was a good thing or not. 

Emma kicked his ass every day when they trained, but truthfully he wouldn’t have had it any other way. She would always ask him questions about Ty that would dumbfound him enough that, if he was winning their fights, it wouldn’t stay that way. He couldn’t help it if his mind went sublimely numb every time he thought of his boyfriend. 

He and Ty were strictly prohibited from training together after an incident about a week into Kit’s semi-permanent stay at the Institute. Ty had offered to give Emma and Aline a day off with Kit’s training, and Kit had been more than happy for a change of pace. What neither of them expected, though maybe they should have, was for the session to go from training to making out in under ten minutes. They might have gotten away with it if Tavvy hadn’t stumbled into the room, eager to watch them train and pick up some new tips. So yeah, needless to say, they weren’t allowed to train together anymore. 

This was why Kit was surprised when Ty showed up in the training room, causing Emma to overtake him easily and flip him onto his back. He would really need to work on not getting so distracted by Ty, though he couldn’t blame himself when Ty was so beautiful all the time. 

“Can I borrow Kit?” Ty asked, eyes on the sun streaming through the windows. 

Emma wiped sweat off her brow and helped Kit up with her other hand. “Depends on what you’re borrowing him for.”

“Official clave business.”

“Is that code for ‘leave us alone so I can kiss my boyfriend’?” Emma teased. Ty’s cheeks blushed bright red, corner of his mouth turning up just barely. 

“No,” he said unconvincingly. 

Emma laughed and made her way over to Ty, ruffling his hair like Julian always did. “You’re lucky I’m not Julian,” was all she said before she brought her fingers to her eyes and then pointed back at the two of them, wiggling her eyebrows for emphasis. Even so, she left the room, closing the door behind her. 

Kit closed the space between them, making his way over to where Ty stood by the windows. “Hi there,” he said, looking up at Ty’s eyelashes. It was easier for him, this way, focusing on one detail of Ty at a time. If he looked only at Ty’s eyelashes maybe he would be able to maintain some form of self control. 

He raised himself up on his toes, eyes fluttering closed. Ty responded first by taking Kit’s hand, then meeting Kit for a small kiss. Kit opened his eyes as they pressed their foreheads together. “Hi there,” Ty said softly, looking down at his feet. 

“Do you want to go to the roof?” Kit asked. Not only would they be less likely to be interrupted there, but the roof was also their place, in a way. Somewhere they could escape to to be alone together. Ty shook his head.

“I actually did come here on official clave business,” he sighed. 

Kit blinked, pulling his forehead away from Ty’s. “Oh. Really? What’s up?”

Ty contemplated before speaking, Kit could see it in his eyes. “I think we need to talk to Ash.”

“Ok,” Kit agreed hesitantly, “About what?”

“How to find Livvy. Well, all of the Livvys, if we’re right and there are some in our dimension,” Ty explained, searching Kit’s face for a reaction. 

“Ok,” Kit repeated. 

“Ok?”

“Ok.” He flexed his fingers before closing them back around Ty’s palm. “Better than the alternative.” 

Ty smiled in apparent relief, looking like a weight lifted off his shoulders. “After you, then?”

“Oh, wait, just one more thing!” Kit exclaimed, extracting his hand from a confused Ty. Before he could think twice about it he pushed Ty up against the window and kissed him senseless. Ty relaxed into the kiss, smiling against Kit’s mouth. When Kit moved to pull away, Ty pulled him closer, running his hands through Kit’s hair. “You really like my hair, don’t you,” Kit teased, pressing a small kiss to Ty’s jawbone. Ty’s hand clenched in Kit’s hair as he let out a small gasp. 

“It’s so soft, I can’t help it,” Ty stated seriously once he regained his composure. Kit laughed at Ty’s earnesty, ruffling his hair like Emma had done before jumping away and waiting for Ty to follow him out the door. They were both a little less flustered when they reached Ash’s door, knocking before Ash’s cheery voice told them to come in.

Ash’s room had undergone quite the transformation, even given the fact that it was probably a temporary living space. Cristina and Ash, it seemed, shared a passion for gardening and they had filled his room with small plants. A few pictures of each of them hung on his wall, a request that no one had the heart to refuse. There were a couple trinkets scattered about, things he had picked up during their night in the city or things Dru had stolen for the sake of crimey experiences and gifted him as some sort of a housewarming present. 

“What’s up?” Ash asked from his bed. He had a pad of paper in front of him with assorted pencils. Upon receiving curious glances from Kit, he explained, “Emma told me that Aunt Clary likes art, so I asked Julian to teach me how to draw. I’m not very good at it, but I’d like to send her something.”

Kit looked down at the drawing, it was a landscape of the beach. It really wasn’t the best drawing Kit had ever seen, but it warmed him for some reason. Ash set aside his pad of paper. “Anyway, what did you need?”

Kit exchanged a glance with Ty. “We need your help.”

“With?”

“Well…” Kit wasn’t entirely sure how to explain without sounding a little bit crazy. Though, Ash was probably used to crazier things than Kit could dream up. “We were wondering if any of your magic might be able to help us find someone. Multiple someones, potentially.”

Ash brought his hands to rest under his chin. “That depends… who would I be looking for?”

Kit looked at Ty, unsure of how to explain, but Ty was prepared. He held an old photo of Livvy out for Ash to take and look at. Ash blinked back up at them with wide eyes. “You want to find Livia? I told you-- Jace and I got sucked into the portal instead of her.”

“We know,” Ty said, biting his lip, gaze resting on the floor, “But we don’t think your dimension was the only one targeted. There’s a real potential that other versions of Livvy entered our world without us knowing, and we have to find them.”

“Ok,” Ash said slowly, comprehension dawning in his eyes, “How do you know this? Did you have something to do with the portals?”

Kit and Ty shared another glance. Ash seemed to understand. “Ok, I’ll do what I can.”

“Really? You can do it?” Kit asked. 

Ash nodded. “I think so. Just give me a minute or so.”

“Should we leave or…?”

“No, you can stay,” Ash shrugged. Kit sat down on Ash’s desk, Ty in the desk chair. Ash closed his eyes and laid down on the bed. Kit waited expectantly, though he wasn’t quite sure what he was waiting for. They sat there for one minute… two… three… 

Ash sat up in a flash, green eyes ringed with white all around. The shock in his features stayed present for a moment before he blinked a few times and settled back into a slouch. “Fuck,” he said. 

Kit looked at Ty in alarm. Technically Ash was seventeen, had lived about a million more lives than they had, but something about hearing him curse sounded wrong. It put Kit on edge. 

“There’s five,” Ash continued. 

“Five Livvys?” Ty clarified. Ash shook his head, breathing a bit ragged. “Five in America. Beyond that… I don’t know.”

“Do you know where they are?” Kit felt like his brain was floating above his body, completely disconnected. 

Ash nodded. “There’s one here in LA.”

While it wasn’t wholly unsurprising, the confirmation was enough to make Kit lose his breath. Ty clenched the sides of the chair he was sitting in. He couldn’t even imagine how Ty was feeling. Livvy appeared at Ty’s side, face full of empathy for Ty, but also relief.  _ She wants to go _ , Kit realized, _ She wants to be stuck here just as much as you want her to _ . 

Ty regained his composure quickly, fixing his headphones over his ears and reaching for Kit’s hand. “Let’s go, then,” he said simply. 

They made their way out of the Institute through Ty’s bedroom window, not wanting to explain to the others where they went or why they were going. Kit had contemplated telling Dru and Jaime, but the less they had to be involved with  _ this  _ part of it, the better. He wasn’t quite sure what they would do when they found Livvy, but they could cross that bridge when they got there. 

They took an Uber car to where Ash had seen her location and Kit felt slightly satisfied in the fact that Ty still remembered Uber and who had told him about it in the first place. Ty couldn’t sit still the entire ride to their destination, face paler than normal. Livvy hadn’t disappeared since Ash had told them what he was able to find out, likely there to support Ty, though Kit didn’t know whether her presence was helping or hurting him. Maybe it would have been better if they were alone. 

Ash had been silent the entire ride, perhaps reading Kit and Ty’s conflicted emotions. Kit hadn’t asked how he had been able to find out about the Livvys, or pinpoint their locations, but he desperately wanted to know. He supposed he could save the asking for a time when they weren’t so on edge. 

The car stopped suddenly, too suddenly. All three of them exited the care a bit shakily, making sure to thank the somewhat confused looking driver. They were standing where Kit last expected Livvy to be, in the middle of Rodeo Drive. Ghost Livvy disappeared as soon as they were all out of the car, looking to Ty for confirmation before she went. Ty gave her a soft nod. 

“Where to from here?” Kit asked Ash, not sure if Ty was up to talking or asking any questions at this point. His headphones were still on but Kit wasn’t sure if he was playing any music. 

“Over here,” Ash beckoned for them to follow him, dodging between various people until they reached Saks Fifth Avenue. Ty took off his headphones at last, frowning up at the entrance. 

“Are you positive she’s here?” Ty asked carefully. Ash nodded, pushing open the door. Kit couldn’t help but be a bit hesitant himself. What on Earth was a parallel universe Livvy doing in a department store? 

“Oh my god,” a voice rang out and suddenly someone was on top of Ty, crushing him into a hug. Ty was stiff as a board, eyes filled with panic. He fumbled the headphones from his ears and took a sharp intake of breath when the person pulled away. 

Livvy. 

She was their Livvy, and not their Livvy. This Livvy had grown up with them, was eighteen, taller, and had her hair cut to her collarbone, dyed blue at the ends. Her Blackthorn eyes were filled with light, a sight Kit had never thought he would see again. 

“You found me,” she breathed, disbelieving. “You really found me. But-- where are we? It’s like home, but when I tried to go home, none of you were there. I-- do you have a tattoo Ty-Ty?”

Ty glanced down at the runes on his arms, visible because he was wearing a t-shirt. He shook his head slowly, brows furrowing. Why would Livvy be surprised to see runes?

Kit looked back up to Livvy’s eyes and found her looking back as if she’d seen a ghost. He glanced behind himself briefly to make sure that she  _ hadn’t _ actually seen a ghost. When he turned back around there were tears in her eyes, a hopeful smile on her lips. 

Kit glanced to Ty, then Ash, in total confusion, unprepared for what came next. He had looked away for less than a second, but in that time Livvy came closer to him, hesitant at first, and then all at once. 

When Livvy kissed him, he was too stunned to respond, looking at Ty over Livvy’s shoulder with wide eyes.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry not sorry ;)
> 
> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


	28. Make It Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone is confused: the chapter

The Uber ride back to the Institute was even more awkward than the first ride, if that was even possible. Livvy just looked confused, confused as to why Kit pushed her off the minute their lips touched, confused as to why Ty was looking at her as if she were more of a ghost than their Livvy was, confused as to who Ash was and why he was there. 

_ How the hell were they going to explain this? _ Kit thought with worry as the Institute drew closer and closer. It was one thing to explain why Livvy had appeared from out of nowhere, it was quite another to explain how they’d known where to find her and why she was there in the first place. Plus, there was the fact that she thought Kit was her boyfriend. It unsettled him a bit to know that there was a universe where he and Ty didn’t end up together. 

“Chris, where are we going?” Livvy asked from the seat beside him. Ty was seated in the front next to the driver, so Kit had no idea what he was thinking about. He registered her words slowly.  _ Chris? Did people really call him Chris in her universe?  _

“His name is Kit,” Ty said cooly, voice void of emotion, from the front seat. Livvy faced Kit in confusion. He sighed, running a hand through his hair, not quite sure where to start or how to explain. “So, Livvy,” he began, before she cut him off. 

“You always call me Liv.”

“Right, Liv,” he continued, “Surely you’re aware that this world, where you are right now, isn’t the one you’re supposed to be in?”

“I mean-- I don’t know. I didn’t think so, but here you are. And Ty. And whoever this other guy is.” She gestured to each of them in turn. 

Ash took the moment to extend his hand with a wide smile. “I’m Ash! I’m Kit’s brother.”

“He’s not--” Kit faltered. Maybe it would be better, actually, for Livvy to realize there were very notable distinctions between their worlds. He changed his course mid sentence, “Yeah, he’s my brother.”

Ash looked at him with wide eyes and Kit narrowed his.  _ Don’t get too used to this, it’s for her sake _ , he tried to communicate, but Ash’s smile proved he was unsuccessful. 

“Does that mean we can be parabatai now?” Ash tried hopefully. Livvy looked at him like he was insane. 

“What is a parabatai?”

Kit saw Ty freeze in the front seat. He turned around and addressed his twin who was not his twin. “What do you mean, what’s a parabatai?” 

Livvy looked at him blankly. 

Shit, did this mean that there was a world where the Blackthorns weren’t Shadowhunters? Would Livvy even be able to enter the Institute once they arrived? Kit exchanged a worried glance with Ty, glad that they were back on the same page. He took a deep breath, realizing how crazy he was about to sound. “Livvy-- Liv, sorry-- what would you say if we told you that your in a dimension parallel to your own?”

“I don’t think I’d believe you,” she said hesitantly, looking back and forth between who she thought were her brother and her boyfriend. “This is just another one of your practical jokes.”

“I don’t lie to you Livvy,” Ty said in a heartbreakingly earnest tone of voice. “I never have and I never will.”

Livvy laughed, a harsh sound that made Ty flinch in his seat. “Of course not, but you and Chris like to have your fun, don’t you?”

“Kit,” Ty murmured, sinking lower into his seat. 

The driver coughed awkwardly and Kit realized they had been in the presence of someone outside their circle of trust for nearly a half hour. Fuck. “Are you sure you want to be let out here? This looks like an abandoned church…” 

“Yup, here is great, thanks,” Kit said quickly, ushering the others out of the car. Once no one remained but Kit and the driver he paused, then pulled Ash back over to whisper in his ear. “You can’t modify memories, can you?”

Ash nodded and Kit nearly hugged him in relief. He looked pointedly to the driver and then back at Ash, who, thankfully, seemed to understand the problem. Kit got out of the car as Ash worked his magic on the unsuspecting driver.

Ash nodded gravely when he exited the vehicle. “He thinks he just dropped off a couple nameless kids at the beach.”

“Perfect,” Kit sighed, glad that was taken care of. They had larger problems to attend to. Ty and Livvy were standing in front of the door to the Institute, but Ty seemed hesitant to open it, and Kit understood why. What if this Livvy wasn’t a Shadowhunter? What would they do then? He remembered how scared he had been when he’d been brought to the Institute after his father dies, wanting the door to open for him, but also hoping in the depths of his heart that it wouldn’t. 

“Uh, Liv, do you want to open the door?” Kit asked casually as he could when he walked up the stairs to the door. She wrinkled her brows at him. 

“Why do I have to do it? Ty tried to get me to do the same thing.” She glanced back at Ash as if daring him to ask her to open the doors too. 

Kit took her hand, trying to ignore the blur of emotions that passed over Ty’s face as he did so. “Liv, we need you to open the door. I promise, it will all make sense in a minute.”

She relaxed into his touch. “Ok. If you say so.” 

Livvy released his hand and moved toward the door. Kit held his breath in anticipation, certain Ty and Ash were doing the same. Her hand touched the door handle… 

Kit exhaled as the door opened, welcoming them in, but his breath caught in his chest as he saw who was waiting for them inside. 

Julian stood with a half frustrated, half concerned, look on his face. “Where the  _ hell _ did you guys--” he faltered, face paling as he saw Livvy. Shit, they really should have sent a text of warning or something. How would he have explained it, though?  _ Ty, Ash, and I left to track down a parallel dimension version of your dead sister. Don’t worry though, not only will she not know that she’s a Shadowhunter, but she’ll also think she’s dating me. Oh, and we knew where she would be because Ty and I tried to do necromancy which caused this in the first place.  _ Yeah, they were screwed. 

“Jules?” Livvy asked, tears brimming in her eyes. “I don’t-- I don’t understand--”

Her words were cut off as Julian engulfed her in a hug. She wrapped her arms around him just as tight, tears spilling out of her closed eyes. When she opened her eyes, still holding onto her brother, they found Kit right away. “You’re not Chris, are you,” she said dejectedly. 

“No, I’m not,” he agreed. “But I can explain.”

Julian and Livvy broke apart at last, staring at each other for a moment before Julian turned to Kit, eyes blazing. “You better.”

Kit sighed. “I think this calls for a whole Institute meeting, yes?”

It took a bit of time, but soon enough all of the Institute inhabitants were assembled in the library, all staring at Livvy as if they had seen a ghost. Kit supposed they had. He had no idea where actual ghost Livvy was, but was glad she’d chosen to stay out of the way for now. He wasn’t sure if Ty could handle both of them at once. 

Without taking his eyes off Livvy, Julian gestured to Kit. “Explain.”

Where did he even start? “Well, you know how Ash and Jace got sucked into our dimension through a portal from Thule? The same thing happened to this Livvy, and at least four others that we know of.”

Clearly, that was not the best place to start, because everyone’s attention shot directly to him, Livvy included. “Four more?” she asked breathlessly, glancing at her hands as if they didn’t belong to her.

“In America,” Kit confirmed. “We don’t know about… elsewhere.”

“How do you even know all of this?” Emma asked. She’d been the most hesitant to embrace Livvy with open arms, probably given her experiences with different versions of most of them in Thule. While she didn’t seem to have a problem with Livvy, she definitely wasn’t rushing into accepting her as the family they had lost. This wasn’t their Livvy, after all. 

Ty cut in, fortunately, as Kit had no idea how to answer Emma. “I learned about some sort of dimensional magic disruption at the Scholomance, and that’s what Alec asked us to continue to investigate while we stayed here. None of us knew it would be…”  _ Livvy _ , he couldn’t say. He coughed before continuing, “But we suspected after what Ash told us about how he’d arrived in our world.”

“What I don’t understand,” Aline said with narrowed eyes, “Is how she’s been here for three years without us knowing.”

Livvy looked taken aback. “Three years? It’s only been about a week since… whatever happened, happened.”

Now it was Kit’s turn to be taken aback. He’d assumed all of them had come through the portal when he and Ty had opened it. He wondered if it was possible for dimension travel to take longer or shorter amounts of time. 

There were tears brimming in Livvy’s eyes as she looked at Kit. “Please, Chris, tell me this is all a joke. I recognize almost all of you, but something’s off. Why do you all have those weird tattoos? Why is Julian alive? Who is  _ that _ ?” 

Her last question was directed at Emma. All of them froze. What kind of world had she lived in, where Julian was dead and Emma didn’t exist, at least not to her?

“I’m Emma,” Emma said in a heartbroken voice. Livvy simply looked at her blankly. 

Julian blinked rapidly, training his gaze on the ceiling. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“Tell me everything,” Livvy begged. “I want to know it all.”

Kit moved over to where Ty stood, letting Julian take the lead in explaining the life that was hers but not hers at the same time. His voice was patient and gentile, something that Kit admired. This was probably harder for him than anyone else, save Ty, especially learning that she had lost him in her world like he had lost her. Julian was still a father to the Blackthorns, after all. 

Kit brushed Ty’s fingers with his own, attempting to hold his hand, but Ty flinched from his touch. Kit recoiled immediately, but tried to search Ty’s eyes for an answer to why he had moved away. Ty’s entire expression was guarded in a way it hadn’t been since Livvy died those three years before. It was worrying. Sure, none of them had known who or what exactly they’d find when they went to look for Livvy, but he shouldn’t have allowed Ty to come along. He was too close to it all. 

“Ty…” Kit whispered, studying the muscles that worked in Ty’s jaw as he clenched it. 

“I can’t right now, Kit.” Ty’s voice was barely louder than a murmur, but Kit heard it loud and clear. He slipped his headphones over his ears and moved away from them all, taking a seat behind a shelf of books, head between his knees. 

What was he supposed to do now? He couldn’t very well remind Ty that it was his fault they were in this situation in the first place, especially when he had followed blindly. Jaime came over to Kit’s side and placed a hand on his shoulder, which Kit was grateful for. Dru had been glaring daggers, probably upset they hadn’t told her what was going on, but, being an outsider himself, Jaime seemed to understand. 

Livvy’s eyes were wide as Julian spoke, and she didn’t take them off her brother for even a second. Nor did he, gazing at her with such intense emotion Kit could almost feel it filling the room. 

When they were done talking the room was eerily silent, as if everyone was waiting for someone else to speak. Livvy cast her eyes around the room, meeting Kit’s gaze once before flinching away from it. Somehow, it hurt just as much as when Ty flinched away from his touch. 

Her eyes found their resting point on Ty, still somewhat hidden between bookshelves. Her eyes softened at the sides, as if she wanted to reach out to or speak to him, but she didn’t. Instead, she turned back to Julian. 

“If I’m here, does that mean your version of me is back in my dimension?” she asked. Julian staggered back a bit as if she’d punched him and she seemed to gather what she needed to from the look on his face. Kit was glad Julian hadn’t had to say the words aloud. “She’s dead,” Livvy concluded, voice flat. “ _ I’m _ dead, here. How did it-- what happened?”

None of them quite knew how to answer her. Julian had only just explained what Shadowhunters were, who they were, but it was one thing to give a history lesson and quite another to tell the story that had almost gotten most of them killed, though Livvy was the only true casualty close to them. 

“How did it happen with me?” Julian asked at last, just as flatly. She shied away from meeting her brother’s eyes, brown and blue streaks of hair covering her face before she was able to brush it away.

“Another time, then,” she answered.

Julian nodded gratefully. “Another time, then.” He turned to Kit, who immediately wanted to back away and pretend he had never been there. “First, I need to talk to you and Ash, alone.”

He didn’t include Ty, but that was probably a good thing. The others cleared out the library as quickly as possible, still treating Livvy as if she was made of glass. Once the three of them were alone, Kit let out a deep breath, stunned by the tears that came with it. Where the hell was he going to start?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


	29. Welcome To The Wonderful World Of

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> is this a kitty fic or another glee episode? who knows at this point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for sticking with this fic when I'm inconsistent with chapters !! I promise I'll get back on schedule this coming week once my finals are over ! We're also gettin down to the end of this fic... possibly... but I have an insta au planned I'm real excited about coming afterward ;)
> 
> All ur comments and kudos mean the world to me :,)

Kit didn’t know what he had been expecting from Julian, but what he was not expecting at all was for Julian to break down into heaving sobs the moment the three of them were alone. He wanted to reach out to comfort Julian, but he didn’t know if Julian wanted to be comforted. The shock of Ty’s sudden distance was still fresh at the forefront of Kit’s mind. 

Ash put a hand on Julian’s shoulder and Julian’s breathing steadied immediately. Kit didn’t know if Ash was working some sort of faerie magic or if Julian had simply been reminded of why the three of them were there, but whatever the case, he opened his eyes after a moment, Blackthorn blue shining with a mix of emotions. 

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” Julian asked after a moment, voice raw.

“I don’t know,” Kit answered somewhat honestly. He did know exactly why they hadn’t told anyone initially, but they could have given some sort of warning, he supposed. Not that anyone would have believed them. There were many unbelievable things that had happened to the Blackthorns, to the Shadow World as a whole, even in just the years Kit had been alive, but this was definitely one of the strangest.   

Julian shook his head. “I don’t know if Ty will be ok after this.” He looked at Kit through his eyelashes. “What were you thinking, taking him with you? You told me you loved him and would always be there for him and I trusted you.”

Kit opened his mouth but was unable to form words. How could he say anything in his own defense? Julian wasn’t mad at Kit, not really, and Kit knew it, but they were all looking for someone to blame. Kit had blamed Ty for so many years, and he knew that Ty had partly blamed Annabel, partly blamed himself. Sometimes Kit retreated into the corners of his own mind and thought,  _ What if this had happened instead of that? _ What if Julian had been struck up on the dais in the Hall of Accords that day? What if Livvy and Ty had been  _ parabatai _ and Ty had been able to write runes to save her? What if Ty had grieved with the rest of the family, never considering doing what he did and making any of this possible at all? What if Malcolm Fade was really the one to blame for setting things in motion from the beginning? Or Julian and Emma, for falling in love at an inconvenient time? 

Ash stepped in front of Kit and leveled Julian with a cold stare. “This isn’t Kit’s fault. Ty was the one who wanted to go in the first place. I’m aware that I don’t know the full story, but Kit didn’t just decide this would be a good idea for laughs. He talked about it with me and Ty, even wanted to tell you where we were going and what we were doing, but Ty convinced him not to. What would you have done in Kit’s place?”

Kit felt his insides warm as Ash defended him. It was strange to have someone defend him in this way, as no one ever had before. He had no doubt Jem and Tessa would have if the situation had arose, but none had in the years he’d lived with them. It felt nice, nicer than he cared to admit, if not a little surprising as well.  

Julian blinked at Ash, then at Kit, his face softening until he simply looked defeated. “I’m sorry. I just… of all the things I ever thought would happen to this family, I never even considered this one. I don’t know how to handle it for everyone, I don’t--”

“Julian,” Kit cut him off, “You don’t  _ have  _ to handle it. None of us have any idea what we’re doing, but we’ll get through it together. Alec tasked Ty, Dru, Jaime, Ash, and I with handling this, so we’ll take the lead on this one.  _ I’ll _ take the lead, if only so I can make things easier for Dru and Ty.”

Julian put his head into his hands, rubbing his eyes as if that could wash away all the day’s events. Kit wished it was that simple too. He wondered faintly who Livvy was with right now, what they were doing. Part of him hoped that she was with Ty, but another part of him feared that wouldn’t be the best idea. 

“You don’t have to tell me everything,” Julian said at last, “But things like this? Please, for my sake as well as everyone else’s, warn me, at least.”

That seemed fair enough. “Of course,” Kit responded, “Of course.”

“What do you say we see if this Livvy likes pancakes?” Julian attempted a weak smile, which Kit tried his best to return. 

“Didn’t you make pancakes this morning?”

Julian laughed once, a harsh sounding noise. “I make pancakes practically every morning, Kit.”

“I’m always game for more pancakes,” Ash cut in with a smile, any residual tension in the room evaporating with the sight of his grin. Sometimes Kit wondered if there was magic in every little thing Ash did, whether he realized it or not. 

He hung back and walked alongside Ash as the three of them made their way out of the library. “Thank you,” he said earnestly. “For standing up for me like that.”

Ash merely shrugged. “You’d do the same for me.”

The funny thing was, he would. He didn’t know when that shift had happened, but somehow Ash had weaseled his way into Kit’s heart and it didn’t look like he was leaving anytime soon. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad to have another brother after all. Even though Ash was taller than him, Kit reached up and ruffled his hair affectionately, the way he’d seen Julian do to Ty and Tavvy many times. Ash blinked once in surprise before nudging Kit in return, both of them laughing softly until they halted at the sight of the kitchen. 

Livvy was standing at the stove, Helen’s apron on, blue hair tied back out of her face. Kit wasn’t sure what she was making, but she had a light expression on her face as she worked. The rest of the family and other inhabitants of the Institute were seated one by one at the counter watching her, no one moving or saying a word. Kit noticed with a pang that Ty wasn’t among them.

“Hey Livvy.” Kit could tell Julian was trying as hard as he could to make his voice sound casual. “What are you making?” 

Everyone’s eyes shot to Julian as Livvy startled, turning around to look at him. Her smile faltered a bit, but she regained her composure quickly. “Beef stir fry. It was your favorite food back where I’m from.”

“Not pancakes?” he joked.

Livvy laughed softly, and wrinkled her eyebrows. “Pancakes?”

“Oh, well now  _ I’ve  _ got to get cooking.” Julian pretended to be offended, color returning to his face, light returning to his eyes. Kit could see the exact moment that everyone else noticed it, all of them relaxing in their seats. 

Julian and Livvy each worked on their separate dishes in companionable silence, only exchanging words when Livvy had to ask where certain utensils and ingredients were located. The rest of them simply watched them as if they were a television program, one that they weren’t totally certain the ending of. 

Livvy accidentally bumped the radio reaching past Julian for a salt shaker, jumping as Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off” came blasting out of the speakers. Kit, the only one still standing aside from Julian and Livvy, was stuck between wanting to turn off the radio or retreat from the room and hope for the best. 

To everyone’s surprise, Livvy started laughing. “At least some things are the same, no matter what universe you’re in.”

“Oh, yeah? You know Taylor Swift?” Julian asked with a smile. 

She laughed. “Everyone knows Taylor Swift. This song has been playing all over the radio for nearly a year.”

“So you know the words then?” Julian smirked, putting the whisk he was stirring the batter with up to his mouth like a microphone. Kit tried not to think about how he’d done the same thing with Ty just weeks before. “ _ Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, but baby I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake--” _

_ “I shake it off! I shake it off!”  _ Livvy joined in, using her own spoon as a microphone. They both laughed with each other, finishing out the chorus and dancing around the kitchen in a world of their own. Livvy met Kit’s eye briefly as Julian spun her around, gaze flinching slightly. He had to do something, and, unfortunately, something in this case involved singing. Why were all of his problems best solved by singing?

He cleared his throat, grabbing a paper towel roll and raising it to his mouth.  _ “Hey, hey, hey, just think while you’ve been getting down and out about the liars and the dirty, dirty, cheats of the world, you could have been getting down to this. Sick. Beat.”  _ Livvy’s answering smile was glorious, and he thought maybe that was what woke everyone back up, Aline the first to come back into herself, clapping along with the beat of the music. 

Kit saw Emma meet Julian’s eyes before getting out of her seat and standing on the table, lifting Tavvy up with her.  _ “My ex man brought his new girlfriend and she’s like ‘oh my god’, but I’m just gonna shake it to the fella over there with the hella good hair,”  _ she bent down and beckoned Julian over, leaning to touch his curls,  _ “Won’t you come on over baby we can shake, shake, shake…”  _

_ “YEAH OHHHHHHH!” _ Mark hit the long note in the music with a passion, and suddenly everyone was laughing, dancing along. Tavvy and Emma bounced up on the counter while Aline turned to Helen and serenaded her directly. Jaime tried to match Taylor Swift’s tone exactly, making Dru and Ash laugh in the process as Cristina filmed Mark with her phone, hand over her mouth as tears of laughter streamed down her cheeks. Julian looked around at all of them in awe, but especially Livvy, joining in on the family fun as if she were meant to be there all along. 

They were all singing at the top of their lungs when Kit noticed Ty slide into the room, pulling his headphones from his ears to rest around his neck. He wanted so badly to sweep him off his feet right there, pull him into the music, into his family, but he knew that what Ty needed right now was space. Ty almost met Kit’s eyes when his gaze was suddenly caught elsewhere. Kit followed it to Livvy’s eyes, eyebrows raised in a silent question. She held out her hand, a gesture no one noticed but Kit and Ty.

Ty’s hands fluttered rapidly at his sides, gaze never once leaving the sister who was not his sister. Kit was nearly certain he would back right out of the room, disappearing to the roof for some peace and reflection. But then he took one step, two, three, right into the middle of the kitchen, right into Livvy’s waiting arms. 

As the twins hugged, wrapped so tightly around one another Kit almost thought they were one person, Livvy started bouncing along to the music once again, grin splitting across her face as Ty mimicked her movements, dancing along to the steady rhythm. Kit’s heart burst and split in two instantaneously when a weak smile graced Ty’s features. 

This was beautiful, this was everything, but it couldn’t last. All the dancing and singing with a family that was finally whole again would have to come to an end, the sooner the better. Because another world was missing this, missing their sister singing with them in the kitchen. They couldn’t keep this Livvy here when she belonged somewhere else but, based on the looks on everyone’s faces, Kit might be the only one who realized it. 

Ty’s eyes met his and instead of darkening they lit up. Kit tried not to keep his concerns from showing on his face as Ty replicated Livvy’s motion and held out a hand for Kit to join them. Kit took a deep breath, closing his eyes a moment and drowning out the world around him. When he opened them it was still just him and Ty, and Livvy, and Julian, and everyone else, but mostly him and Ty. Ignoring every warning flashing in his head about the impermanence of it all, Kit stepped into the group, clasping Ty’s outstretched hand and letting the music drown out his sorrows. 

_ I shake it off, I shake it off, I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


	30. I Lost A Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> druuuunk kit is baaack

After the impromptu dance party things had been going decently well. It had been about a week and Livvy had blended into Institute life about as well as expected, still reeling over the knowledge she had the blood of angels in her veins and hadn’t known until then. From what they could infer, the Blackthorn parents had been stripped of their marks and cast out to live as mundanes, raising their children without knowledge of the shadow world. Livvy hadn’t recognized Mark or Helen either, which made Kit think that they were still living in faerie in this alternate world. 

He was also trying to avoid her at all costs. A cowardly move? Maybe, but he didn’t know how to deal with the fact that he’d been dating his boyfriend’s twin sister in a parallel universe. He and Ty had always seemed inevitable to him, he never would have considered a timeline where they didn’t end up together, much less a timeline where he ended up with Livvy. He loved her, he did, but in the same way he loved Dru. They were the sisters he’d never known, along with Emma. 

There was, of course, the fact that Ty was avoiding him as well, something he was doing his best to be ok with. Ty and Livvy had been practically inseparable since they’d all danced together in the kitchen, something everyone else seemed happy about. Kit, however, knew better. It was great that they could have each other for now, but it would  _ have  _ to come to an end. Livvy didn’t belong here, and Kit was worried Ty would forget that. 

Dru wasn’t angry with Kit anymore, so he’d been spending most of his time with her. She wasn’t entirely sure how she should feel about Livvy either, and the fact that Livvy hadn’t gone out of her way to spend time with Dru rubbed her the wrong way. To keep all of these things off their minds, they trained together relentlessly, sometimes offering to train with Jaime and Ash, who were two peas in a pod as well. 

Kit thought it was kind of funny how close Ash and Jaime had become so fast, but they really did seem like the best of friends. He was glad that Ash was finding more ways to connect himself to the mortal world without limiting his interactions to solely with Kit, though the two of them were definitely becoming closer as well. Kit hadn’t really realized how preoccupied he’d been with Ty until Ty had distanced himself. In some ways it was a good thing for him, his relationships with everyone else had definitely strengthened now that they could see him as an individual rather than just Ty’s boyfriend or that kid they used to know. 

Surprisingly, he and Aline got on quite well. Sometimes she would talk shit to him about things that bothered her around the Institute and he would air his grievances as well. Maybe it worked so well because, while they were a part of everything, they were still outsiders, the non-Blackthorns.

A few nights before Aline, Emma, Jaime, Cristina, Ash, and Kit had found themselves cleaning up together after dinner and realized that they were free to say whatever they wanted about the family they all adored so much and no one would judge or go share anything they said. Emma had jokingly suggested they come up with a name for themselves but Penstairsalesdalestern didn’t have quite the same ring as Blackthorn. 

As much as Kit missed spending all of his spare moments wrapped up in Ty, it was kind of nice to see and be seen in this way for a little while. Regardless, they would have to talk soon, not only about their relationship, but also about what they were going to do about the four other Livvys that had come into their world. 

As if his thoughts had summoned Ty, Kit looked up just as Ty and Livvy were making their way up the staircase. There was a moment where Kit debated hiding before they could see him, but he figured it was better to face these things head on instead of avoiding them forever. 

His heart fell as they brushed past him without a word, too immersed in each other to even notice him. He tried to understand, tried not to let it hurt, but it did. Ty was supposed to be his boyfriend, and this Livvy wasn’t even the one that Ty had known his whole life. He faintly wondered where ghost Livvy was and what she was doing, if she felt abandoned as well. 

Angrily, he stormed his way down the hall, nearly barrelling right into Jaime and Ash as they exited the training room. “Sorry,” he apologized, moving past them. He was really in the mood to throw some knives, or even find Emma so she could beat the shit out of him. 

“Everything ok?” Ash asked hesitantly as Kit made his way over to the weapons and grabbed a collection of throwing knives. He threw the first without thinking, feeling nothing but satisfaction as it reached its intended target.

“Everything is  _ perfect _ ,” he said sarcastically, noting how Jaime and Ash exchanged a glance at his expense, trying not to care too much about it. His second knife hit just to the right of the first one, still on target. “It’s just,  _ I don’t know, _ my boyfriend’s dead sister who isn’t actually his sister is somehow in our dimension and no one thinks its a problem that they might be getting too attached, said sister thinks  _ I’m _ her boyfriend, I think the Clave is putting on a musical that I somehow started really soon and I haven’t heard  _ any _ news about it, not that it really matters, but I do really fucking love Les Mis, I don’t actually even know if my boyfriend  _ is _ my boyfriend, and I’ve been living with the guilt of knowing that I make better pancakes than Julian for like, three weeks. Also we could use more knives.” He punctuated his final statement by throwing his three remaining knives in succession, feeling satisfied when they all hit right by the others. 

Ash and Jaime blinked at him. He blinked back, feeling a little bad for lashing out, but overall just relieved to get it all off his chest. Dru walked into the training room at that moment, eyes narrowing as she looked from Kit to Jaime and Ash to the knives embedded in the wall. 

“You owe me twenty bucks, Rosales,” was all she said, holding out her hand expectantly. Jaime scowled at her, forking over the money. Kit raised his eyebrows and she explained, “We were betting on how long you would last before you finally got fed up with everything. I bet a week, Ash bet a month, and Jaime said you wouldn’t make it a day.”

“Thanks a lot,” Kit said to Jaime, who shrugged innocently.

“It was Dru’s idea.”

“Dru has another idea!” she cut in needlessly. Kit wasn’t actually mad, he just really needed somewhere to channel his pent up frustration. “And Kit, you can’t refuse, because you owe me.”

He narrowed his eyes hesitantly. “Ok…”

“I’m of the opinion,” she said matter-of-factly, “That we all need to get shitfaced.”

He snorted, then realized she wasn’t joking. “Wait, really?”

“I’m in,” Jaime chimed in before she could answer. Ash looked more hesitant, turning to look at Kit. “What exactly does that entail?” he asked quietly. 

Kit grinned. “Well, now we have to. Introduce Ash to one of society’s most fun and detrimental pastimes.”

“We’re corrupting him,” Jaime said with a tinge of guilt. 

Kit nodded, patting Ash on the shoulder. “Oh for sure.”

Ash shrugged off his grip, looking a bit like a small confused animal. “I’m in.” His statement was definitive, not matching his demeanor at all. It was kind of adorable. 

Dru clapped her hands, grinning mischievously. “Meet in my room in ten?”

They all nodded and she left the way she’d come, probably off to find ways to sneak alcohol to her room. Honestly, if she asked Mark, he’d probably just giver her some. It was really Julian and Helen they had to worry about. Aline too, but only if she caught them. 

Kit stayed in the training room for a minute after Jaime and Ash left as well, taking his time grabbing the knives he’d thrown and putting them back in their proper places. Another lifetime ago he’d stood in this very spot, debating taking everything and running, hoping it was all worth enough to buy his way to freedom. Funny how he’d found freedom after all, with Jem and Tessa, the very people his father had spent years hiding him from. 

He missed them quite a bit, Will too. His heart panged at the thought of all the things Will was learning to do that he was missing by being in LA. He knew that what he was doing here was actually important and necessary, but a tiny part of him wished he could abandon it and retreat to the safety of his self made family. It stunned him a bit to realize he would have felt the same way even if Ty had been talking to him instead of avoiding him. Then again, he didn’t quite know who was avoiding who at this point. 

_ Shit _ , he looked at the clock. Ten minutes had surely passed at that point. He hurried out of the training room and up to Dru’s room, wondering faintly if she would have invited Livvy and Ty to drink with them. Selfishly, he hoped she hadn’t. Selfishly, he hoped she had.

He knocked on the door before entering, mumbling a faint, “It’s just me,” as he stepped into the room. Dru was grinning like the devil and Kit wondered if he should be taking on a more responsible role in this scenario, maybe  _ not _ letting his boyfriend’s sixteen year old sister get drunk off her ass. Then again, Jaime was the oldest one there, so if it was anyone’s job to be responsible, it was his. At least, that’s what Kit was going to tell himself. 

“You didn’t invite Ty?” he asked by way of greeting, sitting beside Dru. 

She looked up at him through her eyelashes. “Did you want me to?”

“No,” he realized, “No, I really don’t.”

She squeezed his hand comfortingly before passing him a shot. “You need to catch up, we’ve all already done one.”

He threw it back with ease, glancing at Ash and Jaime. Jaime was laughing at Ash, who had a grumpy and confused look on his face. “I don’t feel anything,” he pouted. 

“Easy there, you’ve only had one shot.” Jaime poured out another one and shoved it Ash’s way. “Two is when you actually start to feel something.”

Kit snatched the shot away before Ash could make a move, glaring at Jaime. “He’s never drank before.”

Ash scoffed at Kit and poured himself his own shot, downing it before Kit could argue. “I’ve had faerie drinks, and those are definitely worse.”

Kit couldn’t really argue with that, or maybe he just didn’t want to, so he grinned and knocked glasses with Jaime before taking Ash’s shot that he’d stolen. Dru bumped into his side and rested her head on his shoulder. “Who knew you’d warm up to being Ash’s big brother?” she teased.

“Certainly not me,” he teased right back, though he knew in the back of his mind it wasn’t true. From the moment he’d seen Ash’s face light up in ecstasy upon learning that there was someone in the world that was like him, Kit knew that Ash was going to be one of the people he cared most for in the world. He knew exactly how he’d felt when he’d been thrust into a world that he barely knew, and he didn’t think anyone should have to go through that alone. 

Kit was brought out of his daze by Jaime giggling from where he’d stretched out on the carpet. His face was turned up to the ceiling and a grin split his face so wide that it was all Kit could see. 

“How much has he had to drink?” Kit asked Dru and she lifted her head from his shoulder, frowning. 

“Only two shots, I think.”

Kit burst out laughing. “Lightweight,” he said, poking Jaime’s forehead with his foot. Jaime swatted it away and frowned. “Am not.”

“Yes, you most definitely are.”

“Nuh-uh,” he argued stubbornly. 

“Yes you are,” Ash chimed in. “I’ve done three shots and I’m more sober than you are.”

“Three…?” Kit looked at Ash. Ash grinned mischievously, glancing down at the bottle next to him. Kit whisked it away, pouring more for him and Dru. “You’ve gotta give us time to catch up. Jaime, you’re cut off.”

“So… unfair…” Jaime mumbled before turning over onto his stomach, burying his face in the carpet. Dru and Kit locked eyes, bursting into laughter. Maybe the alcohol had gone to his head a little more than he thought already. Nevertheless, one or two more shots couldn’t hurt. Maybe three.

A few hours and a few drinks later, Dru was lying with her head hanging off her bed, Kit beside her. Jaime was asleep on the floor in the same position he had been hours before, sleeping through all their wild conversations, and Ash was seated beside him, checking to make sure he was doing ok every once and awhile. 

They were all properly shitfaced, everything blurred around the edges just enough. Kit didn’t feel like he was going to black out or throw up, so he knew that this was a good place to stop himself, right on the precipice of disaster. 

Ash was trying to play I Spy with them, but he didn’t fully understand the rules, so he kept revealing what he was supposed to be getting them to guess. “I spy something up on the top of Dru’s shelf that kind of looks like it might be a snowglobe,” he said. 

Dru and Kit giggled. “I’m going to go out on a limb and say its a snowglobe?” Kit answered sluggishly, tipping his head back to find Ash’s eyes. They lit up with wonder. 

“You’re  _ so  _ good at this. Wow.” He looked and sounded completely genuine, which made Kit laugh even harder. 

“My turn,” he said, somewhat aware that his words were slurring together. “I… spy… a bighuge problem for everyone.”

Dru sat up and frowned down at him in confusion. “That’s not howthegame works Kitty.”

“Shhhh I make the rules now.” He put a finger up to her lips to shush her and she batted it away, wrinkling her nose. “And don’t call me Kitty.”

“Fine,  _ Christopher _ .” 

He had a sudden flash of skin on skin, of hands in his hair, of the softest, sweetest voice he’d ever heard whispering  _ I love you, Christopher _ . He sat up suddenly, turning away from Dru. “Don’t call me that either.” His voice had lost its drunken daze, though he could still feel the effects of the alcohol muddling his mind. 

Ash looked at Kit worriedly, more in tune to his emotions than Kit would have liked. “What’s the big huge problem? I’m not as good at this game as you guys are.”

“Everything,” Kit moaned, burying his face into his hands. “We have to send Livvy back.”

Dru stiffened and rolled away from him, settling with her back against the headboard of her bed. Ash stood up from his place on the floor and sat on the bed beside Kit, glancing at Dru to make sure it was ok. When she nodded, he placed a hand on Kit’s shoulder. 

“I know it will probably be hard, I don’t know her as well as you all did, obviously, but we can do it. I’ll do everything I can to help.” Even drunk, Ash was sweet and earnest as ever. 

Kit shook his head, trying to clear it. “No, that’s not… that’s not the problem. Ty is the problem. He’s never going to let her go.”

“Well…” Kit could tell Ash was lost in thought, trying to find a way to make it better. “I guess I can’t blame him. They were twins, after all.”

That was when Kit lost it. “Yeah. They  _ were _ twins. The girl that was his twin is gone. It hurts, more than most anything I’ve ever felt and I didn’t even know her that well. Even after three years it still hurts. But you know what? I  _ can  _ blame Ty, because the only reason he can’t let go now is because he couldn’t let go before. I know I’m to blame for that too, because I was fifteen and stupid and in love. Well guess what? Now I’m eighteen and stupid and in love but I refuse to be oblivious or sit on the sidelines of my own life because of it!” He was vaguely aware that he was yelling. 

“Wouldn’t it have been better to have to grieve just once? Now, depending on how many Livvys he sucked into our dimension, he’ll have to go through it over and over again. You all will, and that’s not fair to you.” He turned to Dru. “I’m sorry, I’m  _ so sorry _ .”

She pulled her knees to her chest and shrugged. “That doesn’t change anything though, does it?”

He deflated, hunching over into Ash’s waiting embrace. “No. I guess it doesn’t.”

Ash rested his head on top of Kit’s. He must have been a but confused, he still didn’t know the full story of how everything had happened to begin with. Despite this, he spoke in a soft voice. “We’ll all do it together, ok? Ty won’t be alone and neither will you. Or Dru, or Jaime. Ok?”

Dru scooted over on the bed to join their group hug, lying her own head on Kit’s shoulder. “Ok,” she agreed, blinking back the tears that Kit knew were in her eyes, because they were in his as well. 

“Ok,” a grunt sounded from the floor, and they all peered down at Jaime who was, apparently, awake. Dru huffed out a small laugh as he sat up groggily, hair sticking up all over the place. “Room for one more up there?” he asked with his trademark smirk. 

Dru opened up her arms and he stumbled over to the bed, hopping on and sitting behind Dru, resting his head on Kit’s back and wrapping his arms around Ash and Dru on either side. Kit breathed in and out deeply. 

“Ok,” he decided, and sank into the arms of the people who had, somehow, become his best friends in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


	31. Nothing Lasts Forever (And It's Fine)

The sound of the door opening jolted all of them from their reverie, still a bit too drunk and sluggish to do anything other than look up at the door in confusion. Emma stood with her arms crossed gaze flicking to each of them in turn, then to the empty bottles on the floor. They were no longer piled up in a giant hug, rather lying across one another. Kit’s head was in Dru’s lap, hand idly petting Ash’s hair, whose head was pressed against his ribcage, feet across Jaime’s lap, who was lying next to Dru, fist bumping her every once and awhile.

“Hello Emma,” Ash giggled, poking his head up a bit before flopping it back down as if the effort had exhausted him. “What isareyou doing here? In the room? Whose room is this? Is it mymine room? Mine room?”

She didn’t answer, instead choosing to stomp over to them and smack Kit on the arm. “Really, Kit? The baby?”

“What baby?” he asked, confused. 

“I’m baby,” Ash said softly, giggling to himself once again until Dru and Jaime joined in. Emma gestured to him pointedly. 

Kit scoffed in indignation. “For the record, it wasn’t my idea.”

“No?” 

“No!” 

“It was my idea,” Dru whispered apologetically. Emma blinked back her surprise and Dru’s head shot up, realizing her mistake. “I mean,” she retracted, “It was Kit’s idea?”

“Dude!” Kit stuck his tongue out at her, a gesture she returned before sinking back onto the bed. Emma relaxed and sat down onto the bed. Kit sat up so they were side by side, Ash huffing indignantly now that Kit had stopped petting him. “I’m sorry,” he apologized to her, but she waved him off. 

“Something like this happens and my immediate instinct is to go into strict parent mode for some reason, but then I remember the shit  _ I  _ got up to at your age, and a little bit of drinking seems preferable to turning into a flaming Nephilim giant,” she shrugged. 

Kit grinned at her. “You’re so right. Nothing we could ever do could top that one. Wow. We’re invincible, we can get away with anything.”

“Hey, that’s not at all what I said!” she laughed, nudging Kit with her shoulder. “There’s definitely  _ some  _ things you can’t get away with.”

“Oh yeah?”

“ _ Yes _ ,” she said, thinking it over, “Like… I don’t know…” she broke off with a laugh before continuing, “Like necromancy, I guess.”

Kit stiffened as Dru choked and tried to pass it off as a cough.  _ Be cool, Kit, be cool _ . “Yeah,” he laughed, “Necromancy. As if.”

Emma looked at him weirdly, and he hoped she would just chalk it up to the drunkness that, now that he thought about it, had mostly worn off. How long had they all been sitting in there anyway? Why had Emma even shown up?

He voiced this question, trying his best not to sound rude. Her brows furrowed a moment as if she herself had forgotten. “Um…” she responded, “That is a good question.”

“And we’re the drunk ones?” Jaime mumbled, causing Dru to hit him with a pillow. Emma’s gaze flicked to the ceiling a moment, lost in thought, until her eyes cleared and she looked right at Kit. 

“That’s right! Ty was looking for you,” she told him, satisfied smile on her face now that she’d remembered. Kit flinched involuntarily. 

“He was?”

“Yeah…” She sounded a bit more apprehensive now. “Is that a bad thing?”

“No, no,” he said quickly. He wasn’t sure how much everyone had caught on to the fact that he and Ty weren’t really talking recently, but it had to have been a little obvious. They’d basically gone from inseperable to total strangers like they had three years prior. History did repeat itself, Kit supposed. “Where is he?” Kit asked. 

Emma shrugged. “Last I saw him was with Livvy in the kitchen, but it’s been a while since then. Do you guys know how late it is?”

All four of them shook their heads and Emma put her face into her hands. “Why do I even bother with any of you heathens?”

“That’s a good question,” Dru answered reasonably. Jaime and Ash laughed at her, the former swatting her face lazily. 

Kit stood up. “I should go, then, if he isn’t asleep yet.”

“I’m sure it can wait until morning,” Emma said warily, but Kit shook his head. 

“No, it can’t. Besides, I’m not really even tipsy anymore.” He stretched his arms out to the side in a T and walked with one foot in front of the other. “Look, I can even walk in a straight line.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Emma waved him out of the room with a smile, turning her attention to the other three still lying on top of one another on the bed with a resigned grimace. Kit laughed to himself as he walked out of the room, trusting Emma to deal with them. 

It was fully dark outside, he could tell that much, but he still knew where Ty would be. He hoped Livvy was already asleep in her room so he wouldn’t have to deal with the both of them. Not that he had to  _ deal with them _ , per se, but he really just wanted to talk to Ty one on one at the moment. 

Just as he’d anticipated, Ty was sitting with his feet dangling off the edge of the roof when Kit emerged onto the rooftop himself. He allowed himself a moment to appreciate the way Ty’s hair lit up in the moonlight, pale light dancing along the inky strands, a night sky of their own. Just because he wasn’t totally sure where their relationship stood, didn’t mean he didn’t still think Ty was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen.

“Hey,” Kit said, sitting down beside Ty. 

Ty didn’t even look up, as if he’d been expecting him. “Hey.”

“Emma said you want to talk to me?” Kit prompted. Ty nodded, eyes still cast downwards to where his hands fiddled with his headphone cords in his lap. 

Ty licked his lips before he spoke and Kit tried hard not to be distracted by the action. “Livvy and I have been talking,” he started.

“Which one?” It was a genuine question, but Ty’s face darkened. 

“Real Livvy,” he said softly. 

That didn’t really clear anything up for Kit. He could argue that  _ tangible _ Livvy was real Livvy, but he could also argue that real Livvy was  _ their  _ Livvy, or at least the echo of her. “And?” he prompted, hoping he could glean more information this way. 

“It’s crazy, how different some things were for her, and how some were the exact same.” Ok, they were talking about blue-haired Livvy, then. “The two of us were the oldest siblings, no Helen, no Mark, no Julian. Four Blackthorns instead of seven. But it didn’t really matter, anyway, because our parents were there too.”

Kit approached his next question hesitantly. “Did she… what happened to Julian?”

Ty’s hands tightened on his headphone cord. “Car accident. Not his fault, but it didn’t matter in the end. He didn’t make it. Now, she can’t help but wonder if maybe he would have had they known that they were Shadowhunters. Runes might have healed him in a way mundane doctors couldn’t.”

“Yeah, but maybe this Livvy wasn’t meant to be a Shadowhunter,” Kit reasoned. 

Ty shook his head. “No. Blackthorns are always Shadowhunters.”

“I’m just saying,” Kit tried, “It might be torturing her more now, Julian’s death, knowing that there might have been a way to prevent it.”

Ty laughed, which wasn’t the response Kit had been expecting. He finally looked up at Kit. “Why would she be feeling tortured? She has Julian now, a real, living Julian.”

Kit realized then that he wasn’t going to like where this conversation went. “But she can’t stay here,” he said, anticipating Ty’s next words yet still flinching when they came as expected. 

“Yes she can.” Ty’s voice was so earnest that it nearly broke Kit’s heart. 

“No,” Kit said more harshly than he intended to, “She can’t.”

Ty released his headphone cord and rested back on the palms of his hands, looking up at the sky. “Why not? Why do you always get to decide what Livvy can and can’t do? She should be able to stay if she wants to.”

Ok, fine, if they were going to do this now, they were going to do this now. “And does she?”

“Does she what?”

“Does she want to stay?” 

Ty paused, looked down at his lap. “We haven’t talked about it.”

Kit was actually surprised. For all the time the two of them had been spending together, he was sure that the topic had come up. He wondered if this Livvy even knew about Ghost Livvy, or if they’d just been living in this world of make believe where sisters could come back from the dead for real without consequence. “Don’t you think you should?” he asked hesitantly. 

Ty’s voice was soft and vulnerable when he spoke again. “What if she wants to leave me?”

Kit sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Then that’s her choice.”

It wasn’t the most supportive answer he could have given, but it was what Ty needed to hear. He could have filled Ty with reassurances, told him that Livvy, of course, would never want to leave him, but frankly, he didn’t care anymore. Of course he wanted Ty to be happy, but keeping Livvy in their universe, one she didn’t belong in, would only cause pain for everyone over time, especially Ty. It was mostly his fault she was even there, after all. 

“Why do you want her to leave so bad?” Ty asked angrily. “Did you… have feelings for Livvy all those years ago? Do you want her to leave so that I never know that you loved her more than me?”

“Do you hear yourself Ty?” Kit raised his voice. “Are you even hearing how ridiculous you sound? I love  _ you _ , not Livvy. I’ve always loved you.”

“Then why?” Ty barely reacted to Kit’s words, and he was instantly transported back to three years ago, kneeling together by a lake.  _ I love you, Ty, I love you _ . 

“You know what?” Kit said, voice eerily calm, “I can’t do this. Not anymore.”

Ty furrowed his brows. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,  _ I can’t fucking do this anymore _ . I guess I always felt this thing between us more than you, and that was fine with me, I swear, but a relationship between us is never going to work if you never fucking  _ listen  _ to me. I’m not saying you should talk to Livvy because I’m secretly in love with her, I’m not saying we need to send her back to her world because I’m still mad about what we did all those years ago. I’m saying you need to talk to her, and she needs to go home, because that’s the only way any of us will find any peace. We fucked up big time, but there is still a chance for us to fix it! Do you realize how great that is? We can fix the mistake that led us here. It might be painful, but it will be so worth it in the long run.” Kit was faintly aware of the tears welling in his eyes, faintly aware of the fact that he was pleading. 

Ty didn’t say anything for a long while afterwards. Kit didn’t know what he was thinking, wasn’t sure if he even wanted to, but he did want Ty to just say  _ something _ . 

“I’m going to bed.”

Not what Kit would have preferred he said, but at least it was something. “Ok,” he responded, waiting for Ty to make a move to leave. Ty looked up at Kit hesitantly through his eyelashes and bit his bottom lip. “Are you breaking up with me?”

“I don’t want to, but…” Kit couldn’t finish. He didn’t know if he was breaking up with Ty or not. Ty stood up quickly after that, taking long, silent strides across the roof until he was out of sight, back inside. 

Kit sat alone on the edge of the roof, the edge of the world, and looked out to the ocean. He was certain that if soulmates were real, Ty was his, but maybe a break would be good for them. A break had ended up bringing them back together in the first place. 

Perhaps in the morning he would call Alec, ask if he and Ash could continue the mission from Devon for a little while, take some time away from this environment. It had been wonderful while it had lasted, but all good things had to come to an end eventually. He hadn’t expected it to happen so soon, but there he was, alone under the stars, dreaming about a boy he’d loved, who’d loved him, who might never be able to be his again. 

The universe was cruel, but then again, maybe he deserved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


	32. You and Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *sends out herondale distress signal*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh we're so close to the end 😭 
> 
> Thank you all for bearing with me all this time, I'm really excited for the last few chapters :))
> 
> Your comments/kudos make me one happy gal so thank u

Kit was awakened by an angry ghost. How could he have been woken up by a ghost? Well, just because she couldn’t touch him, didn’t mean she couldn’t make noise. Noise that no one could hear but him. 

“KITTRIDGE HERONDALE WAKE UP THIS INSTANT!” Livvy’s voice was bellowing at full volume. Kit shoved his pillow over his head. Maybe she would tire herself out soon and leave. Was it possible for ghosts to tire?

“KITTONIUS JONATHONIUS HERONDONIUS—”

Ugh. Fine, he would deal with her. “I’m up, I’m up.”

“Then take the pillow off your head,” she demanded. 

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“ _ Yes _ .”

“No.” 

“KITTY CAT HERON—”

“All right, all right,” he sat up reluctantly. She stopped yelling and smiled serenely. He frowned at her. “All the nicknames you could have come up with and you choose Kittridge, Kittonius, and  _ Kitty Cat _ . Isn’t Kit Kittridge an American Girl Doll?”

She continued smiling. “The best American Girl Doll.”

He mulled it over, then shrugged. “I guess that one’s fine then.”

Now that he was fully awake, he took a moment to brace himself for whatever it was she’d woken him up to yell about. She was still smiling, but she had an edge, like the moment she ceased smiling she could go full on terror mode. He hoped she wouldn’t, but when had he ever been lucky enough for things to go his way?

“I’m up, what do you want?” he asked wearily. 

“What do I want?” Her smile went cold, then disappeared completely. “I want you to go apologize to my brother and stop being a dick.”

Kit scoffed. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“He’s been crying all night, and it’s your fault, I know it is. He hasn’t been like this since you left him the first time,” she said angrily, but Kit was getting angry too. 

“What makes you think  _ he  _ wasn’t the one being a dick?” Livvy raised her eyebrows and Kit backtracked. “Ok, maybe not a  _ dick _ , per se, but I am  _ so  _ not in the wrong here.”

“Oh yeah?” she challenged. 

He stood up and faced her head on. “Yeah. He’s the one that can’t fucking let go. I can’t be with him if he isn’t willing to grow, to correct the mistakes in his past. It’s one thing to make the initial mistakes, it’s another to ignore the problems they’ve caused.”

Her eyes cast downward, body language shifting from defensive to defeated. “Problems like me, you mean?”

“Livvy, I—” He didn’t know what to say. The truth was, yes, problems like her. He loved her with a good chunk of his fractured heart, but he could still love her just as much if she was laid to rest, sent onward to whatever eternal life awaited her. He wasn’t sure if heaven existed, but he couldn’t live with himself if he denied her the possibility of it. 

When he looked back up at her, she had a stern resignation in her eyes. “Talk to him.”

“I’m not going to apologize,” he said, but she simply repeated her words. 

“Talk to him.”

He bit his lip. “And if he doesn’t listen?”

“Then I guess it’ll be left to the two of us to figure this all out,” she said softly. 

Kit blinked in surprise. “You… you’re willing to go on? Into whatever awaits you?”

Livvy looked the most alive he’d seen her since she was so when she said, “I think I’ve overstayed my welcome here. Besides, I’m not about to let Ty-Ty replace me with a cheap blue-haired knockoff.” 

Kit snorted, then realized maybe he shouldn’t have, but Livvy just smiled at him, glint in her eyes. “You and me.”

“You and me.”

He sighed. “Ok, fine, I’ll go talk to him.”

Without a goodbye, Livvy disappeared to wherever it was ghosts disappeared to. He’d make a note to ask her about it before she was sent on her merry way to wherever it was ghosts disappeared to when they were ghosts no more. Kit took his time getting dressed, realizing that his only option for shirts was one of Ty’s thin, soft t-shirts left in his room back when they’d lived in their bubble of blissful interaction. He shrugged it on and hoped Ty wouldn’t recognize it. 

He was about to leave his room when he had a sudden rush of cowardice. Maybe Ty didn’t want to see him. Perhaps it would be best if he just avoided the whole thing like he’d been planning to, running away again because things had gotten hard. 

The sound of his phone vibrating startled him out of his hesitation. He frowned and went over to look at the screen; practically anyone that would have wanted to contact him was already at the Institute. It was probably Jem or Tessa, but that was a bit weird as well because they usually used alternate methods to contact him. He frowned further at the name on his screen, confused, but picked it up nonetheless.

“Hello?”

“Christopher! What’s up?” Jace’s voice was light and slightly breathless, as if he was on the move. 

Kit sat back down on his bed. “Nothing? You called me.”

“Right, right,” Jace agreed, “But you sent me a Herondale distress signal, so I decided to follow up.”

“A Herondale what now?” What the hell was Jace talking about. Livvy’s ghost appeared again, floating beside the door, raising her eyebrows innocently. Kit didn’t totally know how far her ghostly abilities went, but apparently sending Herondale distress signals was within her power. He shot a glare her way as he listened to Jace.

“Something about your boyfriend…” Jace prompted. 

Kit coughed uncomfortably. He wasn’t even sure Jace knew he’d been dating Ty. Jace continued, “I didn’t know that you had a boyfriend, but that’s awesome! I bet he’s hot. Was that weird to say? You’re eighteen, right?”

“Um, yeah I guess I have a boyfriend. Yes he’s hot, yes I’m eighteen, and yes that was weird to say,” Kit answered. 

On the other end of the phone Kit could practically hear Jace choosing his next words. “Anyone I know?” he asked finally. 

“Ty.”

“Ty Blackthorn?”

“Yes.”

Jace whistled. “Way to go. Blackthorns have been proven to be hot over many generations. Not as hot as Herondales, but… Anyway, I don’t know Ty very well, but he’s a lucky guy.”

“Well…” Kit began, “I guess I am in distress. I’m not totally sure where we stand right now.” It felt a bit weird to be talking to Jace about this, but maybe it would be helpful. Jace had dealt with his fair share of drama with Clary, after all. Kit had been subjected to  _ all _ the stories, including the time the two of them fucked in hell. He shivered to himself at the thought of it, trying to focus back on the conversation at hand.

“What happened?” Jace asked, and Kit didn’t know where to begin.

“It’s kind of hard to explain… but key takeaways are a bunch of Livvy’s from parallel universes ended up in our universe somehow and we have to find and send them back. Ty doesn’t want to, though. He wants them to stay here,” Kit explained. 

Jace was silent for so long Kit checked to make sure the call hadn’t dropped. When he finally spoke, his voice was full of disbelief. “Wow. Ok, not what I was expecting. What does this have to do with your relationship?”

Kit groaned. “What doesn’t it have to do with our relationship? Our friendship ended three years ago because of—” Kit cut himself off, not wanting to reveal too much. He cleared his throat before continuing. “— reasons I don’t totally remember.” He coughed again. “But the point is, I don’t think I can be with him if he can’t see that what he’s doing is wrong.”

“Have you tried talking to him about it?”

“Yes. Quite a few times. He never listens to me,” Kit said in exasperation.

Jace sighed thoughtfully. “What would be ideal for you? Do you want to call it quits, or do you want to work it out?”

Kit thought for a moment. He wanted to go back to before Livvy had died in the first place and let their relationship grow from there, with Livvy still alive and not holding Ty back from living himself. “I want him to let go. I want him to find a way to move on and start living his life again. He hasn’t been the same Ty I fell in love with since Livvy died, which is fine in some ways. I fell in love with him again, after all. I don’t want to give up on us.” He paused, taking a slow breath. “I think Ty is my soulmate, but I don’t know if he thinks the same.”

“Then talk to him again, but make sure he listens. Tell him how  _ you _ feel, not how you think he should feel. He might be more receptive if he doesn’t feel like he’s being attacked,” Jace suggested.

Kit bristled. “I’ve never  _ attacked _ —” 

“Woah, woah, I never said you did, I’m just saying that sometimes it can feel like it. I understand where you’re coming from because I’m not directly involved in the situation, but things are always messy when you add feelings. Talk to him. I promise, it will do more good than harm, even if that good is just giving you answers about whether or not he feels the same way you do about your relationship.” 

Kit mulled over Jace’s advice. “Ok. I’ll try it. Thanks, Jace.”

“Anytime little bro. Or cousin. Whichever one is less weird. I still don’t totally know how familial relations work.”

“Oh, speaking of… I sort of have a new ‘brother’, so to speak as well…” Kit added, grinning to himself thinking about how Ash would react if he’d heard Kit refer to him as a brother. 

“Yeah?” Jace asked before adding, “Tell me all about that another time, now it’s time to talk to your boy before you lose your mojo. Plus, it gives you a reason to keep in contact with me.”

Kit laughed. “I don’t need a reason for that.”

“Well, you have one regardless.”

“Goodbye, Jace.”

“Goodbye, Christopher.”

“Kit.”

“Christopher.”

Kit rolled his eyes, but Jace had already hung up. He took a deep breath, bracing himself for whatever conversation was going to come. Not allowing himself time to chicken out, Kit strode to the other end of the room, hand hesitating at the door handle briefly before he gripped it more confidently than he felt.     

He opened his door to find Ty standing on the other side, fist raised as if poised to knock. His headphones were slipped over his ears and his eyes were wide with surprise that Kit was sure was reflected in his own. 

“Come in?” It came out as a question, but Ty followed Kit back into the room, pulling his headphones down around his neck. Kit closed and locked the door before he sat back down on his bed, not wanting anyone to interrupt their conversation. He gestured for Ty to join him, but Ty shook his head, wringing his hands and pacing across the floor. 

Neither of them spoke for a moment, but Kit didn’t know what to say. Were they continuing their conversation from the night before, or were they not going to acknowledge what Kit had said, what they’d both said?

“I’m sorry,” Ty said softly, “For not listening to you.”

Kit coughed, not expecting that. “Oh. Um, thank you. I’m sorry too… for, I don’t know, I guess I’m not really sorry, but I felt like I should say it.”

Ty stopped pacing a moment, a surprised smile gracing his features. He caught himself immediately, frown overtaking his face once again, but the smile had warmed Kit inside and out. He sighed, no matter what he said aloud or told himself, he would never be over Ty. 

“I talked to Livvy,” Ty said a minute later. 

“Which one?” Kit tried to bring himself back into the current conversation, feelings for Ty shoved back into the corner of his heart that he had carved out years ago. 

“Both,” Ty said, and Kit was surprised. 

He tried not to let any emotions show clearly on his face, not wanting Ty to feel like he shouldn’t say whatever it was he wanted to say. Poker face locked in place, he looked back into Ty’s eyes and nodded for him to continue. 

Ty looked away, fluttering his fingers nervously. “She wants to leave me.”

Kit didn’t respond, hope growing inside him like a weed he wasn’t sure whether to cut or not. Ty continued, “She wants to go home. She misses me,  _ her _ version of me, and she misses you. Chris. The only thing keeping her here this long was Julian, but she wants to go back.”

“What did the other Livvy say?” Kit asked hesitantly. 

“Basically the same. She wants to leave me. Everyone wants to leave me.” Ty wasn’t pacing anymore. His arms were wrapped around himself like he was trying to protect himself from something. 

Kit stood up and walked over to Ty, unfolding his arms and holding Ty’s hands in his. He searched Ty’s face, but Ty didn’t want to look him in the eye. “No one wants to leave you. They just want to go where they belong.”

Ty shook his head, but Kit just squeezed his hands. “Imagine the situations were flipped, and you ended up in a different world, Thule maybe, because that’s the only one I know the name of. Would you stay there?”

Ty’s grip slackened and he looked up at Kit with wide eyes. “No, I wouldn’t,” he said softly, almost to himself. He blinked a few times in rapid succession, a single tear forming in the corner of one of his eyes. “I’ve been so stupid haven’t I?” he asked Kit. 

“No, of course not,” Kit reassured him, though he probably would have said something different the night before. “Selfish, maybe, but that’s ok. It’s natural to be a little bit selfish, especially when it comes to things this big.”

One of Ty’s thumbs brushed the back of Kit’s hand unconsciously, and Ty turned his gaze down to look at their joined hands. “You’re leaving me too.” It was a sharp whisper filled with more emotion than when he’d been talking about Livvy. 

Kit dropped his hands from Ty’s and shook his head. “No.”

“No?”

“I want to be where I belong as well,” Kit said with a shrug. 

Ty bit the corner of his lip. “And where is that?”

Kit took a step closer to Ty, wondering if he should say what he wanted to say. Sure, Ty had come to his senses a bit about what they had to do regarding all the Livvy's strewn across a world they didn’t belong to, but that didn’t mean everything between them was solved. But fuck, he wanted it to be. He’d waited too long to give up on the one thing he’d wanted more than anything. The person he’d promised himself he’d never give up on even when he’d really wanted to. This was why, instead of continuing to overthink and second guess, Kit reached out to place his hands on Ty’s cheeks, waiting for Ty’s nod of approval before he touched him, pulling their faces close until their foreheads were pressed together, noses brushing. “With you,” he answered at last.

The grin that broke across Ty’s face was one Kit would never forget. “Really?”

Kit nodded. “Really.”

“I think I belong with you too,” Ty said, a blush rising on his pale face. 

Kit giggled, tension releasing from him in waves. “That’s good, because otherwise this would be awkward.” 

Ty giggled as well, lifting his hands to cover Kit’s on his face. “Kit?” Kit hummed in acknowledgement. “Kiss me. Please.”

What was he going to do? Say no? Please. 

With a smile to rival the one still on Ty’s face, Kit pulled Ty in gently, pressing their lips together and falling deep into the blissful feeling that followed. Ty was the first one to open his mouth, welcoming Kit in further, and Kit was more than happy to oblige. Given the way they were standing, Kit had to raise up on his toes again to reach Ty without straining his neck, but he didn’t mind. 

“I think you’re my soulmate,” Kit muttered against Ty’s mouth, immediately reddening. He hadn’t meant to say that aloud. Ty pulled back in shock, meeting Kit’s gaze steadily. Kit wanted to retreat, to say he was joking, but he didn’t back down. He wasn’t sure if he was being brave or foolish. 

“I know that you’re my soulmate,” Ty said solemnly, and it took a minute for Kit to register the words. 

He blinked. “Wait, really?”

Ty nodded. “You’re the Watson to my Holmes. The only Watson I’ve ever had, or wanted to have. Holmes and Watson were soulmates too, in a way.”

“If you read fanfiction, they were soulmates in every way,” Kit said dazedly. 

“What?” Ty laughed.

Kit shook his head. “Nevermind. We’ll circle back to that later.”

Ty laughed again. “Ok.”

“Ok. Kiss me again?” 

Ty obliged immediately, and Kit took the initiative to pull the two of them back until Kit’s legs were pressed to the side of his bed. He pulled Ty closer to him at the same time Ty pushed him back onto the bed, and they fell together slightly harder than they’d meant to. Bursting into giggles, they repositioned themselves more comfortably, shedding layers of clothes as they moved in unison, anticipating each other’s needs, continually asking if everything that was happening was ok, giving plenty of opportunity to stop if necessary. 

Ty looked up from where he had just been kissing Kit’s bare collarbone, tongue brushing over his bottom lip nervously. “I want to do more than kissing,” he said definitively. 

Kit perked up, sitting up on his elbows. “Like what?” He nodded downward suggestively and shrugged. 

Ty blushed beautifully. “I mean, the other stuff we’ve done has been nice too, but I was thinking of… more.”

“More,” Kit repeated. Was Ty saying what he thought he was saying? 

Ty was blushing more furiously than ever now, tipping his head back to look at the ceiling. “Do you have condoms?” he asked so quietly Kit barely heard him at first. 

“I do,” Kit answered slowly. Ty’s gaze snapped to his so quickly Kit thought he might have gotten whiplash. 

Ty took a shallow breath in, then out. “Do you want to?”

Kit nodded. “Yes. Do you?”

“Yes. But I don’t know—”

“Neither do I.”

“We can figure it out together.”

“One adventure at a time, right?”

Ty’s face broke into a smile once more and he nodded, hair flopping into his eyes. “One adventure at a time.”

Thank god Kit had remembered to lock his door behind the two of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


	33. The Kids Don't Wanna Come Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's emo hours but like, in a good way, i hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only 2 more chapters 😢   
> thank u all from the bottom of my heart for all the love you've given me and this fic <33 je t'aime
> 
> (also- for my next kitty fic should i post on ao3 and tumblr or just ao3 and post the links on tumblr)

Dru had cornered Kit immediately after he and Ty had emerged from his room that morning, both looking a little out of it. He hadn’t told her everything, obviously, but he told her that everything was fine between them now, and that Ty was warming up to the idea of letting Livvy go. She still seemed a bit suspicious, but she didn’t ask anymore questions, muttering under her breath about how the two of them would be the death of her. 

Ty had gone to take a shower, ignoring Kit’s exaggerated pleas to join him with a flustered dismissal. Kit had been worried, at first, that things would be awkward, but they seemed to be back to where they’d left off before blue-haired Livvy had crashed into their lives. Kit sat on Ty’s bed while he waited for him to be done in the shower, eyes roving over the various books and trinkets that made the room so  _ Ty _ . 

“Hey, Ty, do you know where— oh,” Livvy said, walking into the room. She paused when she saw Kit, biting her lip as she weighed her options. The two of them really hadn’t had a real conversation in all the time she’d been there, and he didn’t even know if Ty had told her that the two of them were dating. “Hi, Chris— I mean, Kit.”

He smiled in response, lifting his hand in a small wave. She shifted from foot to foot in the doorway, looking around the room as if it held the answers to not having an awkward conversation. 

“What did you need?” he asked her. He wasn’t sure if there would be any lingering awkwardness if they waited for Ty together, so he figured he may as well try to help her out instead.

“I was looking for you, actually,” she said, and he blinked in surprise.

“Oh?” 

She gestured to the bed. “Can I—?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” He scooted over to make room for her and she sat down hesitantly, posture stiff with a bit of discomfort. “So… you were looking for me?”

She nodded. “Right. Yeah. I, um, I just wanted to say sorry.”

“Sorry? For what?”

“For stealing your boyfriend, I guess,” she laughed, “I mean— obviously not like  _ that _ , but I was talking to Dru this morning and she was worried about you two. Before I showed up, you guys were unstoppable.”

Kit appreciated what she was saying, but in his heart of hearts he understood why Ty had clung onto her the minute she appeared, dropping everything and everyone else. Especially now that he and Ty had talked things over, Kit didn’t really harbor any animosity towards her. “I wouldn’t go that far. We’ve had our share of ups and downs, but the ups are usually worth working through the downs. It’s not your fault you ended up here, it’s ours, so we’re going to do everything we can to get you home.”

“Wait, really?” Her eyes sparked at the idea. Kit nodded, and she broke into a smile. “Ty actually agreed to it? I was worried, you know. Obviously I don’t want to leave him, but I have my own family waiting for me back home.”

“ _ I know _ , believe me. Granted, we still aren’t quite sure how to send you home yet, but I’m sure Ash and Ty will come up with something.” Kit had full faith in Ty’s intellect combined with Ash’s otherworldly abilities. Before Kit could register what was happening, Livvy was hugging him tightly. 

“Thank you,” she whispered into his chest, and he folded his own arms around her gently. It was nice to be able to hug Livvy again. 

The door creaked open and the two of them separated to meet Ty’s confused gaze. “Livvy? Kit?”

“Hey, Ty,” she said with a smile, ignoring the fact that he was only wearing a towel. Kit, on the other hand, could not ignore it at all. He was sure Ty noticed his gaze and was sure that was why Ty flushed with embarrassment. 

Ty bit his lip, hands tightening on his towel. “What are you guys… doing?”

“Kit was telling me that you agreed to send me home,” Livvy said simply. 

Kit looked immediately to Ty’s face, trying to gauge his reaction. He hoped Ty wouldn’t suddenly revert to his previous mindset about the issue, but he could never be sure. Ty looked at the ground, then smiled sadly. “Once we figure out how, yes. Without dark magic.” He met Kit’s eye, and Kit couldn’t help but smile a bit. 

Ty looked pointedly at Kit, then at Livvy. “Can I change now?”

Livvy hopped off the bed immediately, then turned and raised her eyebrows at Kit. “You coming?”

“Um,” Kit said stupidly, but Ty came to his rescue. 

“He’s allowed to stay,” Ty said with an air of confidence. Kit and Livvy’s eyes both shot right to him and, despite the small blush lighting up his cheekbones, he looked thoroughly unconcerned about what he’d implied. Livvy looked between the two of them in surprise. 

“I don’t have to give you guys the talk, do I?” she asked warily. 

Ty’s eyes went wide. “No. We— um, we don’t, I mean, we have, uh, no please don’t,” he stammered. Kit found it adorable. She bit her bottom lip, but Kit could see the beginning of a grin on her face. 

“Ok, see you guys downstairs in a little bit.” She threw a peace sign over her shoulder as she walked away, and Kit thought he might’ve heard her giggle a bit as she walked down the hallway. 

Kit went to shut the door and when he turned around Ty already had a pair of briefs on and was rummaging through his drawers for jeans and a shirt. Kit coughed pointedly and Ty abandoned his search, looking at Kit with sheepish but challenging eyes. Fuck, Kit was so gone for him. 

He approached slowly, lacing his fingers with Ty’s, loving the way Ty smiled softly when they touched. “Hey,” Kit said in a low tone, “How was your shower.”  

Ty shrugged, looking at Kit through his thick, beautiful eyelashes. “It was fine.”

“It probably would have been better with me,” Kit reasoned, and Ty closed the distance between the two of them, kissing Kit softly as if he simply hadn’t been able to resist. The kiss was quick, and when they broke apart Ty rested his forehead against Kit’s. Sure, their height difference may have caused Kit a bit of neck pain, but he secretly loved it. 

“I love you,” Kit said, because it had been nearly an hour since he’d said it last, far too long. 

“I love you too,” Ty said, because he did, for some reason. 

Kit brought his hands up to cup Ty’s face. “Is this ok?”

“Yes.”

“How about this?” Kit leaned in closer, barely a breath between them. 

Ty rubbed their noses together, softening his eyes until they closed completely. “ _ Yes. _ ”

Kit wasted no time, kissing Ty again like the world was ending. He would never tire of this, how could he? Normally Kit would have complained about how Ty was so good at literally everything he did, but he was willing to let this one slide. After all, it was really only benefiting him if Ty kissed so well. 

Ty’s hands ghosted up his ribcage underneath his shirt and Kit let out a small gasp of pleasure, embarrassed the moment it came out of his mouth. Ty picked up on this embarrassment, pulling away from the kiss long enough to whisper, “Have you forgotten the other noises I’ve heard from you?”

To say Kit was absolutely stunned by Ty’s boldness was quite the understatement. Ty had always been blunt and honest, saying whatever he thought or whatever was on his mind, even if other people found it weird, and it was one of the things Kit liked the most about him. He’d never expected that bluntness to inspire this sense of confidence, though, and Kit was mere seconds away from throwing them both on the bed and continuing where they left off. Ty fucking Blackthorn, damn it.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, my eyes, my eyes, my eyes!” 

They were really going to be walked in on by everyone they knew, then. Dru stood in the doorway, still rambling with her hands over her eyes, and Ash was standing beside her with wide eyes. 

Ty stumbled away from Kit, and Kit remembered that Ty was only wearing his briefs at the moment, laughing as Ty hid behind his dresser and threw on the first outfit he could find. Dru’s hands were still clamped over her eyes.

“REALLY? IN FRONT OF THE BABY?” she shouted, louder than necessary, gesturing to Ash, who still looked completely shocked, mouth agape. 

Kit looked at Ty, who was thankfully— or unfortunately, depending on which person in the room you were— completely clothed, albeit red faced. “We weren’t expecting company,” he said, and Dru glowered, uncovering her eyes at last. 

“Lock the fucking door,” was all she said before stomping into the room and sitting in Ty’s desk chair. Ash didn’t look like he’d be in any condition to move anytime soon.

“What did you need?” Kit asked, trying to be nonchalant. 

She glared at him. “We wanted to come talk to you about how we’re going to go about sending Livvy home, but clearly you both have nothing on your minds other than—”

“Dru, the baby, come on,” Kit interjected before they could be embarrassed further. 

Ash finally came back into himself. “I’m not a baby.”

“You said you were literally last night,” Kit pointed out. 

Ash huffed indignantly. “I was drunk. Do  _ babies _ get drunk?” 

Ty suddenly giggled softly, covering his hand with his mouth when he realized everyone was looking at him. “Sorry. I was just thinking about drunk babies.”

Kit had never been more in love. 

Dru looked alarmed. “Kit I think your dumbassery is rubbing off on Ty.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Kit scoffed, threading his hand into Ty’s, looking up at him with pure admiration, “I’ll always be the resident dumbass.”

Ty nodded encouragingly, which nearly made Kit burst out laughing and attempt to kiss him senseless simultaneously. Thankfully, he was able to restrain himself, so as to not scar Ash and Dru more than necessary. 

Kit decided now was the time to bring them back to the topic at hand. “That all being said, shouldn’t Livvy be involved in this conversation? And Jaime, for that matter.” 

Dru shrugged. “I don’t know, I just figured we need to start somewhere.”

“True,” Kit acknowledged. The only problem was, none of them knew what that meant. Without dark magic, they weren’t very well versed in other forms of interdimensional magic. “We could always ask Magnus or Tessa for help,” he suggested. 

Ty nodded. “That’s a good idea. Do you think you could send a fire message?”

“I could text Tessa.”

“Oh, right.”

The other three kept talking as Kit did so, and Kit prayed to whatever Angel was listening that Tessa would have some good insight. They could definitely go to Magnus if Tessa didn’t have any ideas, but Kit had had one too many embarrassing encounters with him as of late, and didn’t want another chance to make an idiot of himself in front of the Consul’s husband. 

Tessa responded almost immediately, saying that she could portal over there in a few days to help them work through their options. Kit let out a sigh of relief and informed the others, watching as a weight was lifted off their shoulders. 

With nothing to do but wait for Tessa, Kit and Ty had spent most of the day in the library, Ty telling Kit about every story they encountered, and possibly making out against bookshelves in between it all. It was a blessing that  _ finally _ they’d found somewhere they wouldn’t be rudely interrupted. 

They met up with everyone involved in their task, including Livvy, after dinner, choosing to spend the time discussing stupid memes and jokes rather than the looming mission ahead of them. It was nice to pretend to be normal for a night.

“Do you think you’re going to want to be a Shadowhunter when you go home?” Ash asked Livvy during a lull in the conversation. She seemed surprised to be addressed by him, and she bit her lip as she considered her answer. Kit noticed that everyone was paying close attention to her answer, that they were probably just as curious as him.

“I don’t know,” she answered at last, “Learning what we are… what we’ve always been… it feels right in some ways, but weird in others.”

“What do you mean?” Dru asked. 

Livvy gestured vaguely with her hands as if they could help her verbalize her feelings. “I can’t describe it. I mean, how would you feel if you’d been told your whole life was a lie? That you’re actually part of a secret race of half-angel demon hunters?”

Dru opened her mouth once, then closed it. “Yeah, that would be pretty weird,” she agreed. Kit realized that he knew exactly how Livvy felt, and was surprised he hadn’t thought of it before. Not only had he spent most of his life believing he wasn’t a Shadowhunter, he also never thought he was some sort of faerie-shadowhunter-human hybrid.

He didn’t want to get into it all right now, but he resolved to talk to her later, if she still didn’t know how to feel about everything. “The runes are pretty cool,” he said instead, flexing his bicep with a wink where one of his permanent runes resided. Ty bumped his shoulder as he lowered his arm and Kit laced their fingers together loosely, casually. It felt so good to do so.

“They are,” Livvy said, “They’re kind of like magical tattoos. Would any of you ever get a real tattoo?”

Dru wrinkled her nose, but Jaime nodded. “I already have a couple,” he told her. “They hurt about as much as a rune, but they take way longer.”

Ash widened his eyes. “I didn’t know you could do that. They can be anything?”

Jaime nodded. “Anything.”

“Wow.”

“What about you?” Kit teased, squeezing Ty’s hand once. He was pretty sure he already knew the answer. Ty looked up into his eyes briefly and Kit saw a storm inside them. 

“Yes.”

Kit blinked back his shock. “Wait, really?” Ty nodded. He narrowed his eyes in confusion. “Oh. What of?”

Ty’s gaze flickered to Livvy for a second. “Nothing important. What about you Livvy?”

“Yeah, for sure. I mean, I’ve already got blue hair, tattoos are kind of the next step, right?” she laughed. Kit and Jaime nodded gravely, while the others stared blankly. 

“How would I look with blue hair, do you think?” Kit giggled, running his free hand through his blond curls. Dru squinted her eyes, a slow smile spreading across her face. “Then you’d really be related to Kieran,” she smirked.

Kit laughed harder. “Shit! You’re right! I wonder if unlocking all my faerie powers will give me the ability to change my hair at will…”

“Livvy can I talk to you really quick?” Ty interrupted from Kit’s side. He looked like he’d missed the last part of the conversation and Kit got worried. He wasn’t having second thoughts, was he? 

Sensing Kit’s alarm, Ty looked at him warmly, reassuringly. “There’s just something I want to do before she goes,” he said quietly, then the two of them left the room. 

Dru looked at Kit expectantly for an answer, but he just shrugged. He trusted Ty. He always had, more than he probably should have, but the blind trust had evolved into true trust in one another.

Livvy poked her head back in after a minute. “Can any of you drive?”

 

***

 

As it turned out, Kit was the only one who could drive. Ty had never seen a point in learning because Julian was there to do it anyway and Dru wanted to but hadn’t yet because she’d been at Shadowhunter Academy. Jaime technically could, but he’d failed his test and hadn’t retaken it. Livvy could too, but she’d left her license in another dimension and she was paranoid about what she’d do if they got pulled over. 

Ty sat shotgun as they drove, giving Kit directions but not telling him where they were going. Kit was reminded of their last group excursion to the observatory and he smiled to himself. They should make a point to do this sort of thing at least once a month, forget that they were Shadowhunters for a night. 

It wasn’t until they pulled into the parking lot of their destination that Kit realized what was happening. He raised an eyebrow at Ty. “I thought you said it wasn’t important?”

“Turns out it was,” Ty said simply, slipping out of the seat and out of the car. “One adventure at a time.” Fuck, Kit couldn’t help but smile at his boyfriend’s directness. He got out of the car and locked it, hurrying to catch up with Ty and sliding a hand around his waist, putting his chin on Ty’s shoulder. 

“I didn’t know I had such a bad boy for a boyfriend,” Kit said through his smile. 

Ty looked down at him with raised eyebrows. “I told you Draco Malfoy was my favorite, didn’t I?”

They laughed together as they entered the tattoo parlor, others trailing behind them. Ty and Livvy spoke to the woman at the counter, throwing panicked glances over their shoulders when they remembered Livvy didn’t have an ID. Ash then joined them at the counter and, soon enough, the woman forgot all about the fact that Livvy didn’t have an ID. 

The four of them followed Ty and Livvy back and Kit’s heart stopped beating for a minute when he realized what tattoo Ty had wanted, the reason he’d wanted to talk to Livvy. Ty was showing the tattoo artist an image of a  _ parabatai _ rune, gesturing between himself and Livvy. 

Dru realized it at the same time Kit did, and her hand found Kit’s almost immediately. He squeezed her hand reassuringly, turning to look at her, seeing her eyes were a bit red at the corners. “I never thought…” she said.

“Me neither.”

“I think it’s good, though,” she continued, “It’s closure.”

Kit looked back at Ty and Livvy, who both looked a little more fearful now that the needles were right in front of them. Kit met Ty’s eyes and smiled with as much love and support as he could muster. He would have offered to hold Ty’s hand, but that’s where he was getting the tattoo, the opposite hand from where his voyance rune rested. Livvy was doing the same. Plus, he knew that Ty wanted to do this with only Livvy by his side. It wasn’t as intimate as a  _ parabatai _ ritual, but it would have to do. 

Ash came to stand beside Kit as they watched, looking up hesitantly. “Would you want to do that?” he asked. 

“Get a tattoo?”

Ash shook his head. “No. Have a  _ parabatai _ . A real one.”

Kit looked away from Ty and met Ash’s gaze. His green eyes were filled with an emotion Kit couldn’t place, but all Kit could see in them was himself. Ash really had become a brother to him without him realizing it. “Maybe. Depends on who, I guess,” he answered, raising an eyebrow.

Ash chewed the inside of his cheek. “Well, what about me?” he offered after a beat of silence had passed. 

Kit turned back to Livvy and Ty, watching as Ty’s eyes filled with tears and Livvy’s did as well, clasping each other’s hands with their free ones. He thought of Emma and Julian, of the bond that had nearly destroyed them, and hesitated. But then he thought of Alec and Jace, of how Jace couldn’t go a single conversation without smiling in pure joy at the mention of his  _ parabatai _ . He thought of Jem and Will. He’d never known them as  _ parabatai _ , but the way Tessa and Jem talked about them was how he had always hoped someone might talk about him someday.

“I think I’d like that,” he said to Ash, smiling, and he meant it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr @livvyblxckthxrn


	34. Beautiful Disruption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so much softness and problem solving, where did all these brain cells come from??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for sticking with this through (almost) the end <33 means more than u know

Ash had been out of his mind with joy when Kit agreed to be his  _ parabatai _ , hugging him until it became a bit hard to breathe. Ty and Livvy’s tattoos had finished shortly after that, not taking as long as any of them had anticipated, despite their size. 

The drive back to the Institute was quieter than the ride to the parlor had been, but Kit held Ty’s hand the entire time, gently enough that it didn’t irritate his new tattoo. Kit met Ash’s eyes in the backseat through the rearview mirror and the two of them smiled a conspiratorial smile. They’d kept their decision to themselves for now, but agreed to tell everyone in the morning so they could see how to go about actually making good on their promise to one another.

None of them realized how late it was when they returned, which was why they didn’t sneak in through a window, waltzing in as casually as they would have at noon, meeting Julian with crossed arms and a stern face right in the entryway. 

Ty widened his eyes and looked at Kit at the same time Kit looked at him, both of them realizing they’d just gone out to get Livvy and Ty tattoos without telling  _ anyone _ . To say that death was imminent may have been an understatement. 

“Did I not tell you all to stop doing this?” Julian said tiredly. 

Dru stepped forward and opened her mouth, catching Julians unamused stare and immediately taking a step back without speaking. Ty folded both of his hands behind his back, and Livvy did the same, which immediately drew Julian’s eyes to what they were trying to hide. 

“What the hell is that?” Julian asked, taking a few steps closer and reaching out his hand. Ty glared at him as if daring him to grab his hand and Julian paused, but looked at Ty with an expression that said  _ I’ll see it eventually, let’s just get this over with _ . 

Ty sighed and held his hands out, wincing as Julian’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth, clearly unable to find words. 

“Before you say anything—” Livvy started, holding her hands out, and Julian saw her matching tattoo. A look of comprehension washed over his face and he visibly relaxed, eyes turning a bit sad. 

“I get it,” he said, and Kit blinked in shock, looking from Julian to Dru, who looked just as surprised. “I don’t necessarily  _ like _ it, but I get it,” he continued. 

Ty shrugged. “That’s fair.”

“If it gets infected or whatever, that’s on you,” Julian said needlessly. Kit could tell he was warring with himself on how angry he should be. On one hand, tattoos were maybe a thing to discuss with other people before they happened, particularly an older brother slash father figure, but on the other, didn’t they all already have a shit ton of ‘tattoos’ and added more every day? Besides, what could Julian really say about Ty getting a tattoo to commemorate his twin sister that he’d hoped to be his  _ parabatai  _ before she’d died?

Ty smiled, knowing he’d won. “Of course.”

Julian sighed again, ruffling Ty’s hair before pulling him into a hug. The hug ended quicker than Kit had expected it to, but it turned out it was only to add Livvy to their hug. Dru piled on after a minute and Ash, Jaime, and Kit stood back, letting the Blackthorns do their Blackthorn thing. 

“Affiliate hug?” Jaime suggested, and Kit looked at him strangely. 

“Affiliate?”

“Yeah, like, the non-Blackthorns. We never came up with a name.”

Ash laughed under his breath, and Kit found himself joining in. “Affiliate hug,” he agreed, and the three of them made their own small circle. Was there a reason for them to be hugging? Probably not, but everyone else was, so… 

 

***

 

Kit and Ash had held off on their news for a few days, waiting until Tessa arrived. Kit was bursting with excitement to see her, it had been way too long. He was sad Jem and Will couldn’t come, but he planned to visit them soon anyway, hopefully after they sent this Livvy home and before setting off to find the others. Maybe they could have their  _ parabatai  _ ceremony in Devon, since Alicante wasn’t an option. 

Kit was pacing around the library, Ty sitting in a chair watching him, as he waited for Tessa to arrive. As excited as he was, he also remembered that he hadn’t exactly told her everything that had gone down with him and Ty so, even if she suspected something, she still didn’t know they were together. 

A portal opened up and Kit almost accidentally walked right through it, distracted by his thoughts. Any worries he had disappeared from his mind the minute he saw Tessa, grinning ear to ear. He jumped on her immediately, attacking her with a few months worth of hugs. Her hand rested on the back of his head, such a motherly gesture, and he leaned into her closer, pulling away after what felt like an eternity. “Hey, Tessa,” he said sheepishly. 

She narrowed her eyes. “Christopher?”

“Before we go and see everyone I, um, have something to tell you?” His voice pitched at the end and he cursed himself silently. He didn’t want her to be worried, or think this was a bigger deal than it was. 

“Ok,” she said patiently, eyes flicking to Ty, still sitting in his chair and looking at Kit. Kit met his gaze and widened his eyes, silently asking him to join them. Ty blinked, then hopped out of the chair standing an awkward distance away from Kit. 

Kit rolled his eyes fondly and pulled Ty close to him. “Ty and I are, um, dating,” he said hurriedly. 

Tessa raised her eyebrows and Kit could tell she was pretending to be surprised. “When did this happen?” she asked, even though Kit was gathering that she probably already knew a lot more than she let on. Who was the mole feeding her information? If he had to guess, Jace told Alec, who told Magnus, who definitely already knew, but used the new source of information to tell Tessa.

Ty and Kit exchanged a glance, bursting into giggles. “It’s kind of a long story,” Kit explained, “I’ll tell you everything later.” 

Ty wrapped a finger around one of his and squeezed and Kit had to bite the inside of his mouth to keep from smiling. Maybe he didn’t need to tell her  _ everything _ . 

“Well,” Tessa clapped, “Should we go find the others? Maybe we can put our heads together and figure out a way to get Livia home.”

“That sounds great,” Kit said right away, leading her out of the library. Ty shifted so his entire hand was folded around Kit’s, rather than just his finger. Everyone would probably be in the kitchen, so that was where they were headed. He wondered what the odds were that Julian was making pancakes. Probably pretty high, if he had to guess. 

To everyone’s surprise, based on the wide eyes around the room, Mark was at the stove making what looked like they should have been crepes, but hadn’t quite made it there. Noticing Ty, Kit, and Tessa’s hesitation, Cristina explained, “Mark thought we could use a break from pancakes.”

“At least pancakes are edible,” Tavvy mumbled, and Kit coughed to hide his laughter. Tavvy may have only been ten, but sometimes he was wise beyond his years. Kit should try to hang out with Tavvy more often, corrupt him before Julian’s good intentions sank in too deeply. 

Emma hopped up out of her seat to come give Tessa a hug, exchanging pleasantries and asking questions about Will and Jem. Kit felt kind of bad about the fact that his self-imposed isolation from all of them had impacted Tessa as well. Emma was the only one who’d remained in contact with him, even barely so, the only one he’d  _ allowed _ to stay in contact with him, and was, therefore, the only one who knew Tessa as someone other than a powerful warlock. 

Kit and Ty sat down at a round table, letting Ash, Jaime, Dru, Livvy, and Tessa fill in the extra seats while the others stayed by the counter. They weren’t too worried about breakfast, especially if Mark was in charge, and they needed a space to discuss sending Livvy home.

“So,” Tessa began, “Fill me in on everything.”

They did, starting from how Ash had found Livvy, to what they’d learned from her when she came back to the Institute with them. Kit and Ty stayed silent about ghost Livvy’s role in the whole process, and luckily Tessa didn’t have too many questions once she got the overall gist of everything. 

She nodded a few times when they finished, looking at each of them in turn. “Ok. I won’t lie, this is stranger than anything I’ve ever dealt with, and I once shapeshifted into an angel. But, it’s not impossible. I might consult with Magnus as well, but we should be able to figure this out and send Livia home.”

Livvy broke into a relieved grin, clasping Tessa’s hand. “Thank you, so much. It really means a lot you would do so much to help someone you don’t know.”

“If it’s important to Kit, it’s important to me,” Tessa said with a shrug, “I’d do anything for my kids.”

“Your—?” Livvy began, cut off by Jaime’s laugh. 

Ty slung a gentle arm around Livvy’s shoulder, grinning at her softly. “There’s a lot you still don’t know about the shadow world,” he explained. She accepted his words without argument, looking like she wanted to ask more questions, but she knew it probably wasn’t the time.

Ash caught Kit’s eye and raised his eyebrows, silently asking if now was the time for them to tell everyone their decision to be  _ parabatai _ . Kit shrugged, there was no time like the present. It didn’t really concern the rest of the Blackthorns and affiliates, and Kit wanted Tessa and his friends to know first.

“Hey, Tessa, I have something else to tell you,” he said a bit self consciously. He wasn’t doubting the decision, not for a second, but he was worried she’d think the decision was rash. It also would have been preferable if Jem was there too, he knew just how powerful the  _ parabatai _ bond could be. 

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, and he hurried to continue, gesturing to Ash. “Ash and I decided to become  _ parabatai _ .”

There was a moment of pause from everyone at the table, then grins from Dru and Jaime, apprehensive happiness from Livvy, a small smile and hand touch from Ty, and an indecipherable look from Tessa. 

“Are you sure?” she asked at last.

“Yes,” Kit answered without hesitation, face splitting into a grin, “He’s my brother.” 

Ash grinned back bashfully, cheeks turning bright pink as he looked at his lap. “I’m sure too,” he said, “I want to be a real Shadowhunter, but I don’t want to do it without my brother.”

The corner of Tessa’s mouth lifted a small amount, and Kit knew there would be no more questions from her. She never got to have a typical Shadowhunter or Downworlder experience, and Kit thought she saw a bit more of herself in him than she would ever admit, born into one world only to find out you were a part of two others. She held out a hand to each of them. “Then I’m happy for you two. When will you perform the ceremony?”

They hadn’t thought that far ahead. It had to be pretty soon, before Kit turned nineteen. They didn’t know exactly how old Ash was, only that he was roughly seventeen, so he was good on time. Kit bit the corner of his mouth. “Whenever Alec is free to oversee it or whatever, I guess.”

It wasn’t impossible to perform  _ parabatai _ ceremonies now that Idris was blocked off, but they all had to be sanctioned by the Consul who, in this case, was Alec. Kit couldn’t see him having a problem with it, he just knew Alec might be busy for a while. 

Tessa nodded. “I can talk to him about it while I consult with Magnus later, I’m sure we can work something out.”

Kit smiled in agreement and, for the first time in a long time, felt at peace. Everything wrong in his life way finally starting to go right. 

 

***

 

The beach, Alec had decided, would be the perfect place to hold a  _ parabatai _ ceremony. It had only been about two weeks since Tessa, Kit, and Ash had brought it up to him as they consulted Magnus about Livvy and, after a few rounds of questions and some time to make sure this was what they wanted to do, Alec had agreed to come and oversee the ceremony, Jace and Clary in tow. 

Jace had been offended that Alec had known before he had, but Kit spent nearly all night the night before the ceremony explaining everything that had happened with Ash and Thule Jace in faerie so he was caught up. Jace was shocked to hear the news of another him residing in faerie with the Queen, and he had gotten a bit tense when Kit had mentioned Thule Jace’s wish to speak with Clary, but they’d both decided that was a problem to tackle another time. 

The rest of the Blackthorns had been over the moon to have the ceremony basically right in their backyard, bringing everyone together in a way that nightly dinners or pancake breakfasts didn’t. Tessa, Jem, and Will had also made the trip. They’d decided to stay in LA for a little while, at least until they figured out how to get Livvy home, and Kit was happy to be around them more often as he was used to.   

Secretly Kit was glad they hadn’t figured out all the details of sending Livvy home before the ceremony, because her presence was a comforting addition to their circle of friends and family. Ghost Livvy had assured him she would be there too, especially since she’d never gotten to attend a  _ parabatai _ ceremony of her own. A small part of why Kit wanted to do this so bad was because of her. He never knew what could happen tomorrow, so he wanted to live his life the way he wanted to before then.

Ty met Kit in his room before Kit left to meet everyone on the beach, pausing in the doorway. “Are you ready?” he asked

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Kit shrugged, trying to look more confident than he felt. He wasn’t having any second doubts, but it was still a little nerve wracking. Ty came close, wrapping his arms around Kit from behind and resting his head on Kit’s shoulder, pressing a small kiss on his cheek. Kit flushed at the small assurance, and it gave him the boost of confidence he needed. 

Hand in hand with Ty, he walked down and out to the beach, grinning all the while. Ash was already waiting there, smiling just as big. Ty let Kit go at the last possible second, kissing him briefly on the lips before he left to stand between Livvy and Dru, observing from a distance. Technically there only needed to be one witness per person, but when had any of them ever given a damn about any of the Clave’s rules?

Three rings of fire filled the space as Ash and Kit stood across from one another, eyes lighting up with the flames and excitement. Most everything passed in a blur until Kit heard Alec speak the words he was supposed to repeat, the ones that had almost ruined Julian and Emma but had saved so many others.   

 

_ Entreat me not to leave thee, _

_ Or return from following after thee— _

_ For whither thou goest, I will go, _

_ And where thou lodgest, I will lodge. _

_ Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God.  _

_ Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried.  _

_ The Angel do so to me, and more also, _

_ If aught but death part thee and me. _

 

Ash and Kit spoke at the same time, voices twining together in the night. The air was cool on Kit’s skin, despite the fire, but maybe it was just a rush of adrenaline making it seem that way. 

When Kit approached Ash to mark him with the rune, he smiled at the few runes he’d already acquired, the few that had faded to scars mixed with the ones that would stand out on his pale skin forever. Ash flipped his wrist up to face Kit, and Kit slowly, carefully, traced the design he’d been practicing into Ash’s skin. 

Ash took it valiantly, not even flinching once. Kit handed him the stele once he was done, and Kit moved his shirt to expose the skin of his shoulder, just where Jem’s  _ parabatai _ rune had once been placed. He wanted to pay tribute to Jem and Will and the stories he’d heard of them over the past few years. As far as he was concerned, there had never been greater  _ parabatai _ than the two of them, but Kit intended for he and Ash to give them a run for their money. 

He would have placed it on his chest, recognized Jem and Will’s bond as well as his Herondale heritage, but he was saving that space for another rune to fill, maybe in a few years, maybe in many, but eventually his wedding rune would immortalize his never ending love to Ty Blackthorn and then, maybe, he’d have everything he’d ever wanted out of life. 

Kit hardly felt anything, but suddenly the stele was pulled back from his skin, leaving only a deep black mark in its place, the most important one other than the first rune he’d been given, the one Ty had marked into his skin when he was still too afraid to accept who he was. 

Kit looked Ash in the eye again, seeing the tears he felt reflected back in Ash’s eyes. He wasn’t sure how long they waited, but once all had been said and done, fire circles vanished, Kit and Ash rushed into each other’s arms, engulfing each other in hugs so big they almost crushed each other’s lungs. 

This was the start to the rest of Kit’s life and he was so happy to live it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lowkey forgot the details of the parabatai ceremony and was too lazy to look so i hope i did it ok :,)
> 
> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


	35. Finale / Listen Before I Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> remember the musical kit and the crew accidentally kickstarted?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS THE END
> 
> i'm having a bit of a crisis but mostly hoping you enjoy the end to this journey as much as i do <3 
> 
> maybe i'll write a sequel at some point 👀 leave it to me to write my version of twp before they come out, yeah? lol
> 
> i love you, i love you, i love you <3

Time passed too fast when all you wanted was for it to slow down. Time also passed too fast when you didn’t realize you wanted it to slow down. Sure, it may have been months since the _parabatai_ ceremony, but to Kit it felt like days. Days spent with Ty in his arms and Ash training with him and Dru and Jaime taking turns to make fun of him and Livvy there all the while, waiting to go home. He was starting to understand why Ty had been so resistant, he was really going to miss her when she was gone.

They’d practically figured everything out with the help of Tessa and Magnus, so now it was just a matter of  _ when _ . Kit could see in her eyes that she wanted to stay, but not as much as she wanted to go, so everyone had been putting off her departure. 

After the musical, they said, they would send her home after the musical. The musical was supposed to be months away, but now months had passed and everyone was getting ready to go to New York to see it. 

Apparently Lily Chen had taken the reins for the musical, bringing together every type of Shadowhunter and Downworlder, including kids from the Academy and newly turned vampires and werewolves that needed someplace new to call home. Kit was excited, if he was being honest. He hadn’t expected it to actually happen. 

The Seelie Court had allowed their folk to participate in the musical, though the Queen was less than happy with the Shadowhunters, once again. It seemed she didn’t know where Ash was, otherwise Kit was sure someone would have come for him by now. That, or the Jace from Thule had somehow appeased her. 

There was a soft knock on Kit’s open door and he looked up to see Ty standing in the doorway, half smile on his lips. Kit found himself smiling in return involuntarily, sitting on his bed and holding out a hand to Ty in a silent question to come closer. Ty obliged, stepping into Kit’s room and taking his hand, running his thumb over the back of his palm. 

“It feels weird,” Ty said, “That we’re here, that we actually made it to this point.”

It was weird, it seemed like only yesterday that Kit had shown up at the Institute determined to forget Ty, determined to never love him again. Les Miserables, the story that had helped him heal his broken heart all those years ago, had also helped him reunite with that same love, for real this time. And now, they were going to go see the product of their dumbassery and improvisation in the face of danger come to life. 

“I’m still a little bit mad they didn’t ask us to play Marius and Cosette though,” Kit said, laying back on the bed. Ty joined him after a moment, keeping their fingers laced together. 

“Neither of us have the range for Cosette, that’s probably why,” Ty said matter-of-factly. Kit grinned and kissed the back of Ty’s hand. 

He hummed in agreement. “You’re absolutely right.”

“Are you packed for New York yet?” Ty asked, turning his head to face Kit. 

Kit gestured vaguely to the duffel bag laying half full on the floor. “Eh, somewhat.”

“Eh, somewhat,” Ty repeated, leaning over and pressing a small kiss on Kit’s lips. Kit melted into it, smiling enough that their teeth started to clash together as they kissed. It was a pleasure to be loved by Ty, such a fucking pleasure. Kit didn’t think he would ever tire of it. 

A cough sounded from the doorway. Kit and Ty both looked up with wide innocent eyes to see Livvy, arms crossed in front of her chest and a smug look on her face. “We’re leaving in a few, everyone else is downstairs already.”

She surveyed the room, raising her eyebrows at Kit’s half packed bag. “Dude, really? What have you been doing up here?”

Kit met Ty’s eyes entirely unsibutly and she threw her arms up in defeat. “Forget I asked! just be down in five please?”

“Ma’am, yes ma’am,” Kit saluted as she walked out of the room, flipping him off behind her back as she went. Kit heaved a great sigh and sat up on his bed, figuring that what he had already packed was probably enough. They were only going to be there for one night anyway.

Ty waited patiently as Kit pretended to get his shit together and the two of them exited hand in hand, stopping briefly at Ty’s room to grab his own bag (and maybe make out a little bit, but that could stay between them) before heading to meet everyone downstairs. 

Tessa was ready with a portal, looking at the two of them sternly, yet warmly. The rest of the family and aptly titled affiliates didn’t look to upset that they were a bit late, they’d given themselves an extra cushion of time anyway, knowing that at least one person wasn’t going to be running on time. Tavvy was the only one with any urgency, mostly just excited to see Max and Rafe again. 

The portal trip was, as portal trips are, very quick and slightly nauseating. They emerged in the middle of the New York Institute drawing the gazes of Jace and Clary who were awaiting their arrival. Clary’s face split into a wide grin and she ran over to give Emma a hug as soon as the portal closed behind the lot of them. 

Jace met Kit’s eyes and winked at him, looking between Kit and Ty and their interlaced fingers. Kit blushed and looked away, biting his lip to keep from smiling. 

Once they’d all said their hellos and gotten acquainted, Clary led the group to the bedrooms so they could drop their bags off and get changed before the musical. Kit didn’t know where the musical was being held, but he was sure that if Magnus was involved it would be somewhere extravagant.

Tessa had procured a suit for Kit, sleek and black, though he wore a blue tie. It fit nicely and to his surprise it wasn’t uncomfortable. He hadn’t known that this was a suit and tie event, but it was kind of fun to dress up for the night and pretend he was something more than a teenager stuck between three worlds. 

This time he was the one who knocked on Ty’s door, and his heart nearly burst out of his chest at the sight waiting for him when the door opened. The only other time Kit had ever seen Ty in a suit was at Livvy’s funeral, an event he didn’t like to remember, no matter how good he’d thought Ty looked at the time. 

This time, though. This time he could allow a slow smile to spread across his face, he could widen his eyes and take it in, and he could bring himself closer to Ty, asking for permission the moment before he kissed Ty senseless. 

Their cleanly pressed jackets became rumpled before they were tossed to the floor entirely. Kit pressed Ty back until his back was against the wall, only for Ty to flip them so their positions were reversed. Kit’s hands came up grasp Ty’s hair, loving the way the silky strands felt in his grip. 

Ty smiled slightly, and Kit held him even tighter, feeling so many emotions burst through him at the feeling of Ty smiling into their kisses. It really was something, wasn’t it, that they’d both been through so much but they still made it here. Here, where they were able to enjoy a night together in fancy outfits in a city they didn’t know too well but they didn’t care that they didn’t know. 

Was everything worth it? Maybe not, they’d still done some pretty bad things that needed to be corrected, but there was no use in worrying about it every moment of the day. There would be time for worry, but it couldn’t be all consuming. What was the point of living if you only focused on the bad parts, and not the good ones? 

Like this: Ty kissing him for the first time, completely out of nowhere. Or this: Ash asking to be his  _ parabatai _ , and Kit realizing it was exactly what he wanted for his future. Or even this: Dru, Jaime, Kit, Ty, and Ash, lying together in a big pile, training with each other at six in the morning, leaving the Institute without anyone knowing to run through the city like they owned it. The feeling of Tessa’s arms around him, a comforting embrace. The smile on Jem’s face when he talked about Will, both of them. Will’s tiny legs running toward his older brother as if he was the most important person in the world. Lily Chen and Alec Lightwood producing an entire musical because Kit’s first line of defense in faerie had been to sing. 

Kit and Ty broke away from one another, pressing their foreheads together and looking into each other’s eyes, blue meeting gray and falling in love all over again. “We should go,” Kit whispered, maintaining eye contact. 

“We should,” Ty agreed.

“But you don’t want to?” Kit asked with a smirk.

“But I don’t want to,” Ty agreed again, smile lighting up his whole face. 

They did go, mostly because enough family members and friends had walked in on them and Kit did not need to add Jace, Clary, or Tessa to that list. Their jackets were a bit rumpled, and so were their shirts, but they still looked pretty presentable, and that was all that mattered. 

Dru gave them both a knowing look, but other than that no one said a thing, too busy talking to each other to care that Kit and Ty had, once again, been a bit late. Livvy looked a bit uncomfortable, and Kit could only imagine all the things she was feeling. It was one thing to be deposited into a world she didn’t know, but to have familiar faces surround her and care for, it was quite another to be integrated so fully into that world that she didn’t know where she belonged anymore. She belonged back in her world, she knew that and they knew that, but it was going to be as hard for her as it was for them. 

Jem joined them with Will and Kit detached himself from Ty long enough to give them both a hug, trying to express how much he’d missed them. He felt a little bit guilty that he hadn’t been home in such a long time, and resolved to ask Ty if he wanted to spend a little time in Devon once they sent Livvy home. Sure, they still had quite a few more Livvys to find and send home, but he figured they deserved a vacation, even if that vacation would probably include a lot of babysitting. Maybe Dru, Jaime, and Ash could join for a bit as well.

They walked to the venue, Kit linking arms with Ash and Ty, who linked arms with Livvy and Dru, who linked arms with Jaime. There was so much meaningless discussion going on and the sky was a deep midnight blue and the stars and the moon were painting Ty in a glorious light and Kit felt good. 

Their destination, it turned out, was the Hotel Dumort, which housed most of the vampires in the city and had for a great many years. Tessa had tried to recount the story of how it came to be what it was today, as Magnus had told her, but some of the details clearly got lost in translation. 

Lily, Alec, and Magnus awaited them at the door with Max and Rafe, who ran to Tavvy the instant they spotted him, the three of them a clique of their own. It was endearing, seeing the three of them so excited to see each other. Lily held her hand out to Kit, and he took it hesitantly. 

“You six are our guests of honor, none of this would have happened without the four of you, and we assumed the other two wouldn’t have as much fun on their own,” Lily said leading Kit by the hand into the building. Ty, Jaime, Dru, Ash, and Livvy followed him as he followed her, confusion evident on their faces. 

She walked them all over until they ended up in some sort of fancy box with plush velvet seats, a table laden with food, desserts, and champagne, and silly little opera glasses, which Kit assumed were mostly for show. Lily smirked at Kit. “Brother Snackariah’s your daddy now, right?”

He coughed so abruptly that Jaime laughed at him. “If you mean Jem, he’s kind of like an adoptive father, but please don’t ever call him daddy again.”

“Fine,” she shrugged airily, “Brother Keep-me-on-my-backariah it is.”

“No!” he shrieked in a strangled yelp, “Daddy is fine!”

Her blood red lips quirked up again, she was clearly taking pleasure in his discomfort. “I better go find your daddy then, make sure he’s settling in all right.”

“Thank you, Lily,” Dru said, patting Kit on the back as Lily left them alone with a wink over her shoulder. Kit sank into one of the seats reaching for the champagne as the rest of them continued to laugh at him. 

“Imagine it was Julian she was talking about, ok?” Kit said angrily, taking a swig straight from the bottle.

“We don’t have to imagine, we have Emma,” Dru reminded him, and Kit softened, breaking into a smile and nudging her in the side, passing the bottle to Jaime. Kit was about to make a sarcastic retort when the lights dimmed and the stage lit up in front of them. Kit’s eyes widened against his will, taking in a stage and set that only magic could make. 

The opening notes to the first song rang out, and Kit lost himself in the production entirely. 

It was a spectacle, to say the least. The entire time Kit alternated between states of open mouthed awe and a flood of tears streaming down his face. He didn’t recognize anyone in the production, but Dru, Ty, and Jaime looked like they recognized a few of the Shadowhunters. Everyone was incredible though, and there was an even number of faeries, Shadowhunters, warlocks, vampires, and werewolves both onstage and off. It felt like the beginning of something, and Kit was more proud than he could put into words to have been a part of it. 

The show ended to thunderous applause, the entire audience singing during the curtain call, standing on their feet and embracing one another. It was a beautiful sight to behold, and the six of them got to watch it all unfold from their personal box, taking in what they had helped accomplish. 

Kit couldn’t believe his life had led him here, taking Ty’s hand and pulling him into a soft tear stained kiss, but he didn’t mind one bit. All the twists and turns and ups and downs were worth it if they’d led to this. 

 

***

 

It was time. 

A week had passed since the musical, and they couldn’t stall any longer. It was time for Livvy to go home. Ash and Kit had to work together, apparently only the two of them had enough combined power to open interdimensional portals, which was the only way to get Livvy back where she belonged. 

He’d been practicing for long hours with Ash every single day, even before their brief vacation to New York, and he was worried he would mess it up. He still had only barely scratched the surface of his powers, but learning how to control this ability was a good step to conquering the rest of what he could do. 

Teary goodbyes had been had with Livvy and the rest of the inhabitants of the LA Institute, the hardest being between her and Julian. Neither of them wanted to go back to a world where the other didn’t exist. 

The six of them now stood on the beach, their makeshift squad to save the world, or at least to save themselves. Livvy was wearing the clothes she’d arrived in, the blue almost entirely faded from the ends of her hair. She looked more like the Livvy they knew now, though maybe that was because they’d gotten used to her looking older, alive again. 

Jaime gave her a tight hug, exchanging a few words none of them could hear. He was probably the least attached, not having known Livvy before she’d died in their dimension anyway, but he’d still grown to love her in the few months she’d been with them. Ash went next, a somewhat awkward goodbye on the same account as Jaime’s. He was surely thinking of how he’d helped find her in the first place, and surely feeling all of Kit’s emotions through their  _ parabatai  _ bond. Dru’s goodbye took a longer amount of time, many tears were shed on both sides, and their hug lasted so long Kit was scared they might never let go of one another. Kit couldn’t imagine how it felt to say goodbye to this version of a sister, when they hadn’t been able to with the other one they’d known so well. 

Livvy came to stand in front of Kit at last, tears still in her eyes. They were both hesitant, trying so hard not to break. He wondered if she’d still be dating the version of him from her world when she went back, or if it would be weird and tainted now. 

“Kit,” she said, nothing more. 

“Livvy,” he said, nothing more. 

They came together in one swift moment, arms wrapping so tightly they both almost suffocated, but neither one of them cared a bit. This was the last time he’d ever see her, hug her, love her like the sister she’d become to him. For a brief instant he allowed himself to pretend that this was the Livvy he’d known three years ago, that she’d never died and she was only hugging him like this because she was going on her travel year, the furthest away from any of them she’d ever been. Then, the moment passed, Kit opened his eyes, and they pulled apart. 

The tattoo on her hand stood out as she clasped her hand in his, eyes searching his face. “I’m afraid I’ll miss you dearly.”

“I’m afraid I will too,” he answered honestly, “I love you, Livvy. Or, Liv, whatever you want to be called. I do now, and I always will. Even long after you’ve forgotten us all.”

She shook her head, fresh batch of tears falling. “I’ll never forget any of you, I promise. I love you too Chris. Or, Kit, whatever you want to be called,” she teased. 

Kit laughed through his own tears, squeezing her hand once before releasing it, letting her walk away from him for the last time. “Hey Livvy?” he called, just as she was about to move onto Ty. She turned to him curiously. “Tell  _ Chris _ to stop fucking calling himself that. It’s Kit, not Chris, in every universe,” he said, wanting to see her laugh one last time. She did, and Kit could finally let her go in his heart. 

Ty looked as nervous as he did heartbroken as she approached, ringing his hands, fluttering them at his sides, and finally putting them deep in his pockets. “I’m going to miss you so much Livvy,” he said quietly, unable to look her in the eye. 

“I’ll miss you more than I’ve ever missed anyone Ty-Ty,” she said, and maybe it was the use of the nickname that finally made him crack, throwing himself into her arms and sobbing openly. 

Neither of them said anything more, holding each other like their lives depended on it and sobbing wholly and completely, not caring who was watching. Ty pulled a folded piece of paper from his pocket and handed it out to her after the disentangled from one another. 

“I wrote you this,” he said, voice thick with tears, “For when you get back. Another version of you from another universe gave me a letter like this once, but I was too stupid and stubborn to appreciate the gift it was, and now it’s lost forever, so I hope you’ll take better care of it, be better than I was. I know you will be, because you’re Livvy, and you’re the best person in the entire world. I’m not sure how I’m going to relearn how to breathe without you by my side, but I’ll try, for you. You’ve helped me with so many things more than you know, but I hope this letter will show you some of how you’ve helped and what you’ve done for me. Livvy, I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Kit and Ash met each other’s eyes, blurred a bit with tears, but when Ash nodded, Kit knew what to do. He concentrated as hard as he possibly could and, to his surprise, it looked like it was working. He was sweating more than he ever had in his life, shaking a bit, but it was working. Livvy looked into the portal that would take her home, then looked back at each one of them in turn, gaze resting on Ty. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” she said, and then she was gone. 

Kit collapsed onto the sand, noticing Ash had done the same. Jaime rushed to his side, pulling a water bottle from the backpack he’d been carrying and letting Kit gulp it down. Dru had done the same for Ash. Once Kit felt that he could breathe a bit better, he looked up at Ty, who was still staring at the space Livvy had disappeared from.

Kit found his way to standing and made his way slowly to Ty, folding him into his arms, letting Ty collapse in on him. He felt a change in the atmosphere and looked up to see the ghost version of Livvy watching the two of them with her own sad expression. She nodded at Kit once before vanishing again to wherever it was ghosts vanished to, reminding Kit of what was still ahead.  

This may have seemed like the end, but they still had at least four more Livvys to find before this adventure was done, and they would do it together, all of them. 

“I’m here,” Kit said, “You’re not alone, you have me forever.”

“Forever?” Ty asked softly, finally pulling his face from Kit’s shoulder to meet his eyes. 

“Forever,” Kit repeated seriously, letting all his love for Ty show on his face. It was true, for however long forever was, Ty would always have Kit and Kit would always have Ty. 

They’d promised to take it one adventure at a time, and Kit intended to spend all those adventures side by side, falling deeper in love with each one, even the ones that were hard to endure. There would be ups and downs and fear and pain but amongst it all there would be so much love and joy and Kit and Ty would have to continue to remind each other of that, no matter what.

Because Kit loved Ty, and Ty loved Kit, and that made everything a little more bearable. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” Kit whispered into Ty’s hair, and he repeated it until Ty’s sobs had subsided enough to take a deep breath and bring their gazes together once more. 

“Thank you,” Ty said, “Thank you.”

Kit brought their lips together. The kiss was brief, and tasted of the salt of tears, but it was everything. 

“I love you,” Ty said when they broke apart. Because he did. 

They folded one another into another lung crushing hug, and didn’t let go. They would never have to again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all SO MUCH for reading, i'm truly so grateful to everyone who left comments, kudos, or even just read this fic because it means the world to me <33 sad to see this one go but i hope the end was everything you hoped for 
> 
> i'll be back at some point with a new kit/ty fic, so look out for that one ;)
> 
> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


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